Goddess of Depression by Victor Nazarenko

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@mortallywingeddestiny
Goddess of Depression by Victor Nazarenko
maybe orpheus always looks back because his very effort to reverse death means that he can't look forward. if he could look forward, he could accept eurydice's death, grieve, and keep moving in life. his refusal to accept her death is looking back. his going down to the underworld, asking hades and persephone for her life, trying to lead her out... it's all 'looking back'. he does nothing for the entire story except look back. orpheus! looks! back! it's his entire thing! the story ends the same way it begins: orpheus looked back.
"Did you know people are masturbating to your smut fics-- 🤢" I hope they get twice as wet as I did writing it, mind your fucking business.
"Did you know people are getting scared when they read your horror stories?? Did you know that people are laughing when they read your comedy stories?? Isn't that gross? Aren't you scandalised??"
I didn't ask if it made sense to keep going. I said I'm going to kick your twisted evil ass.
i dunno what fandom this is from but it also gives me reasonable hope to keep fighting for a better future and i like it :)
That would be the "Ancient Egyptian Mythology" fandom
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it did not work, but i can help
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the only super long Tumblr post I love
it wIGGLES
this is so stimmy
ffvii remake 3: electric boogaloo
if the backrooms can only remember people based on how they are seen by others, then captain clark is so uncanny because people around the real clark view him in a negative light. but the real clark doesn’t see himself that way, so when he looks at captain clark, he doesn’t see anything monstrous, he just sees clark. it’s why he tells captain clark “we don’t have to change”. he views his views his still life as an extension of himself, and he wants so badly to believe that he is fine the way he is. if captain clark has to change, then so does he. but change is so uh a heavy weight to bear, even if you know it’s necessary. it’s easier to look within, see a twisted soul, and call it beautiful
Backrooms Movie Spoilers!
It occurs to me with the Backrooms movie that Mary doesn’t have a proper ending. As in, yeah she survives, but in the end she kinda just ends up just stuck in a clinical room. Wating. She doesn’t really get to process her trauma, she doesn’t really get to be free of the Backrooms, she doesn’t really get an ending to her story. She’s just stuck in transition. There’s no proper ‘ending’ to the film either. The film itself was stopped right at the threshold of something greater. It’s making you wait.
Mary is in a permanent stage of liminality, always at the threshold but never able to move on.
Clark was at that stage- which is why he was able to live so long in the Backrooms. He was unable to take that step, he was in the same state as Mary until she helped him. He ‘made the next step,’ (or in this case, stepped back) he was not longer in a state of transition, he made a choice and stuck with it. Which is why Still Life Clark killed him right after. He no longer belonged there.
It’s why the scientists and ASYNC are so obsessed too. They’re now looking to make the next step in human history, believing this to be the greatest discover in history, but they’re unable to at the moment because they don’t understand it. They’re stuck wating too.
The Backrooms is the Threshold of reality, one where you can’t make that next step. Because around that corner is going to be that same yellow wallpaper, on and on, forever.
But you’ll keep walking, wondering when you’ll be able to take that next step.
Everyone in Mary's life was trying to keep her stagnant and obeying. Her mother wouldn't let her leave the house by her own strict rules, Clark wouldn't let her leave the kitchen until she said what he wanted her to, the async scientists wouldn't let her go because of the information she could provide. Her whole life was basically just being stuck in the backrooms of everyone else's creation.
For a little I felt like we missed Clark’s spiral and that’s why the change felt so sudden but in the same scene that Clark shows this “sudden” violent part of himself he says ‘I don’t want to change’.
Clark has always been like this. We saw his extreme anger at the start of the movie. His disregard for those around him with how he speaks to and about them. The implied breaking of the glass was that he threw it, not knocked it over.
I was expecting a spiral but he didn’t need one. He was already there.
When changing yourself is terrifying and hard and change means destroying your current self so you want to stay the same and the person who is meant to help change you says you can but never changing is only remembering worse and worse each time and it destroys you in a different way
a handprint made in concrete is just the image of a hand, it’s not the real thing. or, it’s the absence of a hand, more than anything, the negative space. the casing around where it should be. it’s an indent that was made from something real - that could not have existed without something real - but it’s not the real thing, it’s just trying to be. maybe it’s not even trying. you put your hand there with your mother and the concrete remembers, and the handprint doesn’t even know why it exists, it just does. if we can make copies and not-things from real things in the world, who’s the say the world couldn’t do that itself? does it even need to know why?
hope has blood on her hands
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