always throwing parties to cover the silence

mrs_d on AO3 & dreamwidth. 30s, ace, queer, white. they/them. nobody's wife. adult content, please don't follow/interact if you're under 18.

[catholicapothecary]

[justalittlesolarpunk]

This is the foundation of all hope btw. In the words of Tolkien, 'despair is for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.'

[mrsd-writes]

Trial and error art project: dice trays!

I'm making two not only because I have no idea what I'm doing but also because Deserres sold them as a set of three. I have two types of felt (one thinner, one thicker), and I'll line the inner walls of the larger one while leaving the inner walls of the smaller one as-is.

We'll see which one turns out better, and whether these are both too small to be practical (and I'll have to make the biggest one).

[molabuddy]

really specific trope i like that i feel like can only be explained in a diagram

[matineaux-deactivated20260222]

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

[hi-im-ryn]

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[p1ssfag]

Why Kaidan? [Not meant to come off rude or mean he's a cutie patootie]

It's funny, I first played ME1 well over a decade ago while waiting for a new DA game. I romanced Kaidan at the time, and never played any of the later games so sort of remained on the outskirts of the fandom. Over the years, I became convinced that romancing Kaidan was the shallow choice, the safe 'Oh, you don't want to romance aliens' choice.

I came back to ME in December, and really only set out with the intention of romancing someone different. I didn't make it halfway through ME1 before going back to Kaidan and knowing I had been right all along.

The thing that struck me was how much depth his character had in such vast array of facets. His story is of disability, of chronic illness, of trauma that leaves quiet tendrils behind, of compassion born of regret, of rigorous self-reflection that still bears uncertainty and doubt, of independence and capability that learns to co-exist with new community. Every aspect of his character was immensely captivating because he was written as a person, not just a squadmate. He is full to the brim of little quirks that feel so lived in: using the metaphor of radio signals when discussing the signs he picks up from Shepard, the debriefs that fall into philosophical pondering of their place in the universe, the small observations of the things you have to slow down to really notice, the ceaseless wonder of not just the galaxy but of those who inhabit it alongside him, the sudden lines he comes out with that read like poetry--but he's only ever written limericks, sometimes.

There's an endless plethora of reasons of personality--the natural instinct to provide guidance, the kindness and compassion, the whimsy and humour--but really what draws me to him is simply that he is inescapably compelling and possesses deep enough characterisation that it is fruitful to be compelled into knowing him.

[starfishinthedistance]

I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

[thememedaddy]

[darlingofdots]

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

[playwrongs]

Tags via @deadpanwalking, editor and ass-kicker extraordinaire

[gingisnap]

Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say

[corneliaavenue-ao3]

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

[gnar-slabdash]

Reblog to give prev the TIME to write their fanfiction

[cutebutalsostabby]

Reblog to give prev the hocus focus to write their fanfiction.

[septic-dr-schneep]

Reblog to give prev the energy to write their fanfiction

[imsopopfly]

Reblog to give prev the executive function to write their fanfiction

[gailynovelry]

The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[atanertheartist]

today I woke up with aggressive need to use watercolors. after. 7. years.

[unamccormack]

What I like about that Tolkien letter is that it’s a reminder that stories don’t present themselves fully formed. This seems an obvious thing to say, but I think people sometimes forget it while writing. Tolkien is pointing out the underrated and essential part of writing which is “going away and having a big think about things” or, in other words, “imagining”.

You have to make stuff up before you can write about it, and that mostly involves inhabiting the spaces and minds of the places and people you’re writing about. Most of that won’t ever appear on the page. Tolkien’s case is different in a couple of ways. Firstly, the sheer extent of the world he’s imagining. (Of course the book takes years to write! He’s making up the history of Númenor and Gondor from thin air!) Secondly, we have unusual access to his world-building materials in the Appendices, which makes the book feel even more fully formed and authoritative. We also have unusual access to his creative process in HoMe. It’s fucking incredible watching Númenor get invented. People joke that Tolkien didn’t finish things, and use his Númenorean time travel story as an example (Lewis publishes the reciprocal three book space travel stories). But that material IS published in a deeply meaningful way. It’s the whole texture that supplies the unique depth and believability of The Lord of the Rings. Sometimes people joke, “Oh, Tolkien barely published!” Yes, but he published The Lord of the fucking Rings. And an essay that revolutionised the study of Beowulf. I’d take that.

This quote also by necessity downplays the rewriting process of LotR which of course was years of painstaking craft and revision, and is its own story. But, yes, of course these things didn’t exist! He had to make them up! So if in doubt, go away and lie in the hammock or on the bed and gaze into nothing and really think about what the world of your story is like and how it feels and what it must be like to be inside the minds of the made-up people whose lives, for some bizarre reason, you want to make up. This actually is part of the work and it’s not frenetic. And there’s no real shortcut. But what is nicer? Why rush this?

(I read an excellent story fairly recently which was clamouring for a sequel. The writer knew this, and was trying to write it, but was stuck and had been for a couple of years. I suspect the writer was trying to pick up directly after the dramatic events of the written story and progress from there. But that would be retelling the initial story, and why do that? It’s already told. That work is done. No wonder they were stuck. I think this is particularly difficult if the story has been extremely successful (which it was) and a creative stretch (which I suspect it was) because the temptation to go back to that well must be overwhelming. But that well has been drawn upon. The solution most likely would be to pick up with the characters a few years down the line and see where they were now. In which case of course the sequel will take a couple of years to write because the writer would need a while to detach from the deep immersion of the previous story, and the time to immerse in and explore a new reality. Often we don’t talk about these aspects of creative practice which I think can leave them very bewildering and confusing. Lots of things happened to me between Enigma Tales and TEoTDB, and lots of books too, but one thing that’s probably of interest only to me, but is of enduring interest to me, is observing the difference between something you might write in your early 40s and something you might write in your early 50s. This relates both to reasons and need for writing a story, and the changes in competence and craft after ten more years practice.)

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[torn-to-pisces-7]

as much as i LOVE the aliens, i lost my MIND when i saw this scene for the first time after only seeing kaidan ONCE in ME:2.

the pause after they say each others names, for the first time since kaidan ripped him a new one on Horizon. the passive-aggressiveness. the tension. "SORRY SIR." the absolute direness of the situation undercut by halfhearted jabs.

i could genuinely go on and on and on about that LOOK at the end WHAT THE HELL DID HE MEAN BY THAT. LITTLE SMILE AND NOD. SHEPARD NOT QUITE SMILING BACK BUT TILTING HIS HEAD... FONDLY?

STUPID HUMAN MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fucknooovirmire]

YES! Just this short scene is packed with so much! (most rewatched part of the game for me XD)

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[hyperlexichypatia]

People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.

You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.

You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.

You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.

You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.

And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.