The Magnus Archives Is A Podcast Distributed By R-

hey! i’m your local transfemme maths obsessive (she/her) currently learning category theory! also big fan of the magnus archives and welcome to nightvale :>

[animentality]

[ms-capgras]

london accents are kinda like this also. you can usually tell if someone’s from north, south, east, or west, and oftentimes particular boroughs have their own associated accents, like hackney, chelsea, and such

[tmashonenprotag]

[TME voice] kinda weird how this trans woman I parasocially stalk isn't perfect...must be because h- they're evil..we must act on this. hand me the google doc

[punkitt-is-here]

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

[totally-cis-offical]

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

[moon-of-curses]

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

[ms-capgras]

it took me embarrassingly long to realise you werent saying that the fourth wall breaking characters were fucking each other

[b0nkcreat]

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

[penatola]

😧

translation: i fucking hate trans women specifically but i cant say that so ima say essentially "males" except slyly make it obvious i dont mean cis men at all. teehee!!!

this the typa wording yall gotta be looking out for - TERFs will try to bend shit but the core message remains the same

[lindleland]

the problem millennials + older have with trying to understand the 67 meme is that they keep trying to compare it to past funny numbers.

listen. 67 is not 69. it's not 420, or 21, or 42.

it's E.

you remember this shit?

it's this. 67 is E.

[lindleland]

i'm gonna be honest with you all i straight-up did not notice that the E in this picture was fucked up. i don't know what's going on here and i'm scared

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[sunbeetle]

friend group in their 20s

friend 1: just folded laundry for 3 hours 😊

friend 2: i think my stomach wall is eroding guys idk what to do

friend 3: have u seen a doctor yet???

friend 2: well nooo...

friend 4: someone is at my door 😰

friend 1: just cleaned the sinks and toilets 😍

friend 2: no really the light is fading from my eyes

friend 4: a tree fell on my neighbor

you: just got off work is anybody free

[a hot, silent wind blows]

[throathole]

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

[anariel-the-elrond-apologist]

I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.

[throathole]

This is fucking killing me

Golp: a roundel purpure.

Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning

[a-book-of-creatures]

Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:

Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!

Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡

Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️

Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴

Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢

Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵

Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣

Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️

If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.

[cognitohazardous]

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 19

Michael Shelly (The Magnus Archives)

Xibalba (The Book of Life)

Remaining time: 6 days 9 hours

Michael art by @mangozic

[ms-capgras]

yall know the drill. HELP ME GET MY BOY TO ROUND THREE!!! VOTE MICHAEL SHELLEY!!

[cutecipher]

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

[cutecipher]

i have mixed feelings about competitive

[cutecipher]

*maddest ive ever been, eye twitching* thats baseless. its something else actually.

[medievaljournalist]

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 13

Westley (The Princess Bride)

Michael Shelly (The Magnus Archives)

Voting ended onJun 8

Michael design by @mangozic

[does-he-know-about-the-d-o-r-e]

cant believe im asking this, BUT VOTE FOR ME!!!

[ms-capgras]

37 MINUTES LEFT GUYS!! MAKE SURE WE KEEP OUR LEAD PLEASEE!!! IF U HAVENT VOTED MICHAEL SHELLEY DO SO NOW

[curseworm]

the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men

[curseworm]

this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men 

[curseworm]

to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men

[curseworm]

im singlehandedly destroying every mans mental health by telling women its ok to not date them

[transsexual-feminism]

Won’t you think of the men!

[birdplushie]

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

[magn-animously]

DIG

[14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

DIG

[buriedunderyourmum]

DIG

[hannisconfused]

DIG

[kitsunesakii]

DIG

[yourlocalfandomfriendo]

DIG

[apple-notplural]

DIG

[vivitur-moritur]

DIG

[spacecat24-7]

DIG

[chub-froggy]

DIG

[thatghostthateatspeople]

DIG

[krowbreaker]

DIG

[spid-the-spider]

DIG

[annabelle--cane]

DIG

[yellow-faerie]

DIG

[vampiraptor]

[huiopl064]

"are you a girl or a boy?"

"you've just assumed the law of the excluded middle"

[placeholdername-1]

the reference, for those confused

[greekmythcomix]

🚨HOMER ALERT 🚨 a copy of a section from The Iliad has been identified as the text in a papyrus placed on the abdomen of a mummified person, excavated last year, as part of the embalming ritual. Pride of place, not stuffed inside a cavity like previously found texts, and the first piece of Literature found on a mummy and in a funerary context.

And guess which bit it is?

THE CATALOGUE OF SHIPS 😂😂😂😂

(Well, we all knew those pages had to be *someone’s* favourite bit 😉)

BRB, off to shoehorn this into a lesson…

Article: https://share.google/6ljv0Ny7jeNBbvW60

Archaeologists stunned to find copy of Homer’s Iliad inside ancient Egyptian mummy

Papyrus fragment discovered inside mummy buried in Roman-era tomb around 1,600 years ago