So I'm maybe just a liiiiiiittle obsessive, and I wanted to work out the timeline of the show, and figured I'd share it with you all. I can't quite figure out how to format this for tumblr, so I'm going to just c&p images of the tables and then dump all of it in unformatted text I guess under a read more? Please let me know if you can think of a better way for me to do this (without retyping it all!) and please let me know if you see any errors to be corrected.
ETA: I'm sorry, I added some info to ep 6 after rewatching and somehow deleted the table for ep 5? But it's back now!
Bonus: season calendar pics that are not accurate (since the
Boston/Montreal games don't line up)
Metros: 2015-2016:
Boston 2016-2017:
Hopefully some folks will find this interesting and/or a good fic resource!
The episode timelines in unformatted text:
Episode 1
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
December 2008
World Juniors (IRL held end of December – early January)
One week later
End of World Juniors
3:15
6 months later
NHL draft (IRL in 2009 held on June 26-27, 2009 lines up with the 6 months later note)
9:24
6 months later
World Juniors again; New Year’s Eve 2009-2010
11:27
6 months later
(so, end of June/beginning of July 2010)
Commercial filming; first hookup
26:37
3 months later
Beginning of 2010-2011 season (rookie season)
(October 2010 ish) BOS @ MTL
31:46
4 months later
(February 2011 ish – IRL ASG was January, 30 2011)
Middle of February according to reporter
Second hookup
40:22
2 weeks later
(End of February, beginning of March 2011) BOS @ MTL, but game cancelled due to weather
43:16
4 months later
End of 2010-2011 season
(Beginning of July – IRL awards June 22 2011)
Episode 2
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
Summer 2011
1:26
Fall 2011
Start of 2011-2012 season
BOS @ MTL (no hookup onscreen)
1:55
Winter 2012
MTL @ BOS (no hookup onscreen)
2:28
Spring 2012
Boston playing San Francisco in playoffs, Montreal already out
End of 2011-2012 season
3:07
Fall 2012
Start of 2012-2013 season
MTL @ BOS (dick pic sent)
3:35
Winter 2013
Text re: 9 inches
3:55
Spring 2013
Montreal playing Boston in playoffs? No cup outcome in show
End of 2012-2013 season
5:11
Fall 2013
Start of 2013-2014 season
BOS @ MTL for first game of season (sex at Shane’s), presumably in October
14:46
Winter 2014
Sochi Olympics (12-23 February 2014)
26:19
Spring 2014
Ilya wins the cup
End of 2013-2014 season
Summer
Awards in Las Vegas (IRL June 24 2014), Ilya wins MVP, sex in Vegas hotel
Episode 3
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
February 2014
Sochi Olympics (12-23 February 2014)
Four months ago
(Mid/late-October, 6 games into the regular season)
Scenes over two more games
Kip says the fundraiser with Elena is in ‘like two months’
13:22
2 days later
NY @ BOS
13:44
1 day later
NY @ MTL
33:01
Kip tells Elena it’s been ‘a little over two months’
(So around end December/early January)
Post-episode:
January 2015 – May 2017
????
Episode 4
Timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
(game at some point, maybe from previous season?)
1:37
Summer 2014
Some texting, Ilya partying
2:45
---
Start of 2014-2015 season
As per calendar in locker room (but incorrect probably), October 11
Game & sex
3:07
Cup win for Montreal (May-June 2015)
End of 2014-2015 season
3:21
Summer 2015
Texting, working out, Ilya partying
4:16
Start of 2015-2016 season
As per calendar in locker room (but incorrect probably), October 11
Game & sex
4:36
Cup win for Montreal (May-June 2016)
End of 2015-2016 season
5:00
Summer 2016
Texting each other during normal activities, Ilya texting rather than partying
October 2016
Start of 2016-2017 season
Biodome trip with Hayden
Possibly Oct 17 as per locker room calendar; MTL @ BOS and tuna melt
Meal with parents
Meets Rose in Montreal – snowing outside (so anywhere Nov – April theoretically)
Two weeks later
BOS @ MTL – club scene with tATu
(probably some time in Late Nov/early Dec?)
Episode 5
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
Wakes up with Rose – presumably NOT the night after the club with tATu
3:00
Dinner with Rose ‘later that week’
Ilya and Svetlana discussing upcoming ASG
11:27
2017 All Star Game
IRL ASG in 2017 – January 29
24:52
Two weeks later
MTL @ BOS
Shane visits Ilya for an hour
The next day
Shane finds out Ilya has left the team
Ilya says he’s going to stay in Russia for a week (so maybe approaching end of February)
42:19
1 week later
BOS @ MTL (I think?) - Metros ‘clinging to a wild card spot’ (Regular season IRL ended April 9 2017, so maybe missing a few weeks here?)
Shane gets hit, out for playoffs (Broken clavicle usually 6-12 weeks recovery; this could be beginning of March
46:44
May 2017
Shane still in sling; Boston eliminated from playoffs
49:45
One week later
NY wins the cup (must be a series sweep if it’s only one week for the whole round?), Scott kisses Kip on the ice
End of 2016-2017 season
Approx timestamp
Text on screen
Notes
Start
NHL awards (IRL June 21 2017) – confirmed to be in June by Ilya talking to David and Yuna
i think ilya has slept with both alexis and david rose at independent times without realizing they are siblings and also both alexis and david are unaware of this
[id: a closeup of a black o-ring harness for strap-ons with a sticker above the ring that reads “this is the same medication you have been getting. color, size, or shape may appear different.” /end id]
Stupidest arguments the Hollanovs have gotten into since their gay shotgun wedding (The shotgun in this case being not an unplanned pregnancy, but medical power of attorney):
- How the word 'Ibiza' is pronounced
- Whether or not silicone-based lubricant counts as a liquid vis a vis CATSA regulations
- Whether or not it is acceptable for Ilya to free up suitcase space by not packing underwear
- A recurring argument that is now simply known as the Skin Cancer Fight, which resulted in the purchase of four different bottles of sunscreen.
- Ilya wants to wear coordinating outfits so that they can do the Pink and White fit check TikTok meme. Shane tells him with his mouth that this is stupid and secretly wants to do it so badly that he emails his stylist from 2017.
- No Ilya Anya cannot come to Spain (x8)
- Ilya hides Shane's neck pillow because he wants Shane to use him as a pillow. Shane buys a new one at the airport and Ilya doesn't speak to him for an hour (Gives up eventually because he's bored.)
- "Hollander, I don't think CATSA will care enough to search your bag unless the butt plug is shaped like bomb--" "Ilya you can't say that word in a fucking airport--"
- Flavor of gum to chew to make their ears pop on the plane.
- Ilya spends the entire month pre-honeymoon on a relentless campaign to convince Shane to join the mile high club. Shane ducks and weaves like his fucking life depends on it until they get into a whisper-shout argument about it on Shane's parents' back porch the night before they leave. Argument ends when Shane snaps, "Of course I think it would be hot!" and Ilya laughs for so long he has to sit down.
- Does a very quick and silent handjob underneath a blanket in the back row of first class count as joining the mile high club? A debate that gives them a good hour of entertainment.
- Shane does not want to go to a nude beach. Ilya thinks that this is because he's a prude (he's fucking not) and they argue about that (He undresses in front of twenty other guys for a living Ilya.) until Shane admits that he's worried about how jealous it will make him when Ilya's insane ass is inevitably the star of the show on the gay nude beach.
- "I did not think you noticed these things, lyubimyy." "Fuck you, I may be a bottom but I'm still a man and I'm not fucking blind--" (New Argument+)
- "How was I supposed to know that hair mousse counts as liquid?? Is not liquid when it comes out! Is mousse."
- Argument that is triggered when Shane realizes that Ilya has been keeping him occupied with stupid silly spats so that he doesn't make himself insane with anxiety over the continued fallout from events pre-wedding until they are in a private villa on the Mediterranean Sea about a million miles from anyone who cares about hockey.
- "Ahh so this is why they call it honeymoon. Because you are sweet like honey and you are showing me your--" [Long, muffled groan]
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