Screaming Into The Abyss

27, she/her, aroace. I have the primitive desire to flip a table I’m so full of rage.

[boozehund-blog]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[wolfprud3-deactivated20170620]

FUCK this post and happy birthday sonic

[bitterblackboricua]

[casuallyodd]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[json-derulo]

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

[json-derulo]

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

[json-derulo]

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

[json-derulo]

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

[json-derulo]

[ibuprofen3200mg]

a summer drink will save you & a summer fruit will save you & a glass of water will kiss you silly

[aroace-ryland-grace]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways. wanna guess what characters I'm thinking about

[kissycat]

Has anyone noticed that translating poetry is not easy

[kissycat]

It's kind of like if you were in unrequited love with the crossword puzzle

[bebx]

[parkchanwoohoo]

Oh my god this just showed up on my fyp

[kiwinatorwaffles]

funny thing i realized about myself is that i always give people the benefit of the doubt to the point where i literally cant tell if someone is being horrible to me unless other people point it out. i fear i would be a great servant to an evil wizard with how likely i am to take abuse in stride

[kiwinatorwaffles]

hey now

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

um. cut him in half

[gorbling]

hot dog or hamburger style, boss

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[bitemeilovewaffles]

But. But these are daffodils…….?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I AM GOING TO SHOVE DAISIES DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL THEY SPROUT OUT YOUR TOENAILS

[paddysnuffles]

This is the flower version of that one old math post where everyone was getting everything wrong

[pangur-and-grim]

heheheh...... I sent my nephew a bouquet of fruit cut into the shape of flowers for his birthday, and apparently it was a big hit! he's like 4, so any older and it would've been lame, but this is peak age to be intrigued by decoratively carved fruit

[pangur-and-grim]

AND my little niece got to enjoy it too, so I got double clout! I hope this becomes a flashbulb memory and they love me forever because of my pineapple flowers

[organicmatter]

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal

[aroace-ryland-grace]

hi aromantics and asexuals and aroaces. I love you.

[poorlemons]

every character is aromantic if you can truly believe

[gremlininho]

[hollowedskin]

Thought this was one of those artifacts they use to try and prove that aliens exist and built Machu Picchu but it's very clearly concrete and not sedementary stone.