Rayvyn

Lurked for many years, Bit the Bullet and found Frogs(tm). She/They pronouns. Born in 2004

[pukicho]

You're probably the funniest person on Tumblr. Please never change.

Never? Not even for the better?

[officially-bbc-news]

Change for the worse

[pukicho]

You guys would prod me with spears through the bars of a metal cage for fun

[shslfiend]

Yeah we would lol

[pukicho]

lol

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

[galaxylemonroll]

How could you leave this in the tags!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that's the beta testing stage

[fandom-man]

[garbage-empress]

goose literacy epidemic

[dovesick]

the god of surveillance

[default-cube]

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[sceptixfakemon]

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

[sceptixfakemon]

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

[minecraft]

[canoncanidae]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

struck by inspiration for a "sorry kitten, daddy is" shitpost. but sick of the kitten-daddy dynamic

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sorry puppy dog, Your Beloved Master is busy emitting fluctuating levels of background radiation nuanced yet bizarre enough to baffle and infuriate local scientists

[nickythehickey]

there are a few people actually whose blogs just look like this to me and i hope they know i still love them

[himbodiaz]

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

[hmslusitania]

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

[tevankinkley]

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

[faerytale-wings]

My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.

People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like “boy or girl?” And they’d panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.

[tungledotfuck]

Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??

[faerytale-wings]

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

[killadelphia]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

[vidoxi]

lets roll up with mama

[enba-and-luka]

[secondbeatsongs]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[depsidase]