my queue is too long

[f00ls-err4nd]

@shit-hdb-would-say

[shit-hdb-would-say]

Harry du Bois would say this.

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[whimsicalmayhem]

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

[teaboot]

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

[madeofklay]

I saw this perfectly in my head and had to recreate it

[teaboot]

Holy Shit

[pleatedjeans]

[wikkineaver]

This is my absolute favorite thing on tumblr

[catboybiologist]

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

[catboybiologist]

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

[catboybiologist]

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

[kaiasky]

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

[lumsel]

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

[boomerdacat]

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

[gaycodedvillainy]

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

[knitmeapony]

But can I have sex with older men there

[knitmeapony]

I am never leaving this site

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Bro was THIS close to calling air bud a slur

[tastylemonbread]

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

the three genders

[johnnysmissingass-deactivated20]

😭😭😭

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

793.85

card tricks

[kaida427]

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

611.642

the prepuce (aka foreskin)

is a simple "please" too much to ask?

[kaida427]

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

179.92

forgiveness

[animentality]

[wishbow]

Proof of zine, last 6 years of hourlies

[charlesoberonn]

[fortunatecircus]

the people running the crayola twitter

[aristocrating]

its 2026 i cannot handle any more fucking "author A obviously ripped off author B" discourse by people Who Have Only Seen the work of author B and admit themselves that they have no further knowledge of the literary landscape they are moving in. like.

[insomaniackills]

Folks really need to reacquaint themselves with this concept

[ringo-starr-daily]

All of the Beatles dying in a glue trap

[thememedaddy]

[mesothelihomo]

[mesothelihomo]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[geminiagentgreen]

[system-a-naturae]

[silbervvind]

[slytherverse]

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

[slytherverse]

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

[slytherverse]

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

[slytherverse]

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

[slytherverse]

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

[slytherverse]

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

[slytherverse]

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

[slytherverse]

guys i cant take it anymore

[slytherverse]

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup