Hi fellow humans!

I'm a nerd and here are the things I like/care about. 21 /they them/ likes to vibe

[yellew]

[just-spacetrash]

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

[fvckw4d]

Thanks to Equestria v Sugar Sprinkle, cutie mark interview questions are considered hiring discrimination, so if anypony asks you any cutiemark related questions or even alludes to any questions about your cutiemark such as "In your own words, describe your life purpose" you can and should refuse to answer. Know your rights, ponies.

[myshangel]

ilya learns the word queerbaiting on twt and accuses shane of it every time he won't kiss/cuddle/be gross w him. and he knows shane will never say it back bc he's too scared to say the word queer

[myshangel]

one day shane says "fuck off I'm literally gayer than you" and ragebait rozanov starts accusing him of biphobia instead

[totearup]

Harris gets the idea to do a video asking the team popular questions they get from comments. Bood explains his tattoos, Lucca assures everyone that he is actually 21 (his most popular question is 'who is letting that baby boy play hockey?'), Troy has to defend salmon as a snack again, Wyatt's question is why Marvel? And harris has to cut the video and just put in a screen that says 'answer cut for time'.

Anyway Harris finds Ilya in the gym doing pull-ups or something and Shane is in the background on a treadmill. Harris goes to Ilya "So your most popular question is, Can Ilya Rozanov fight?"

Ilya drops down to the floor and crosses his arms (slightly swollen and sweaty from the pull ups) and mostly fake scowls at the camera, "I see this question all the time because people are very tempted by my very hot husband." He wags a finger at the camera, "But he is mine you cannot take him. I can fight very well." He smirks at the camera now.

Then Shane pops up behind him, having stopped his run, "I can also fight." And Harris is like, "oh no one asked you that Shane."

And Shane shrugs, "No I know, but if they're asking Ilya because they're going to fight him to like, steal me or whatever, they should know I would also fight to stay."

And he also smirks at the camera and Ilya looks at him with such a gooey lovestruck look that it immediately becomes a meme.

Ilya reblogs the meme with a gif of Shane demolishing one of those punching bag games ala Hudson.

[oleander-teacup]

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

Yeah okay, I'll rebark that!

[magicratfingers]

[magicratfingers]

i like seeing how many people cried real tears in the notes

[pyrogina]

im fuckin crine he DID IT!!!! 😭

[sreegs]

i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

[sreegs]

man what did i click on that tumblr thinks im gay

[teaspoon-sarah]

the sign in button?

[sreegs]

[quinnspinkcamera]

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

[animentality]

[hood-ex]

[nyadversary]

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

[nyadversary]

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

[nyadversary]

i have terrible news about the economy

they raised the price of monster bang :(

[glitchgirlgasm]

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

[plumped-up-furrys-deactivated20]

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

[hopeful-recoveryy]

What a privilege it is to get old.

What a privilege it is to show signs of aging.

What a privilege it is to not have passed at a young age.

What a privilege it is to have smile lines, wrinkles, graying hair, healing scars, and other signs your body has lived for years.

What a privilege it is to get old.

[gimmiekiss1221]

in my dollhouse, hollanov's first dance song is you're still the one by shania twain.

a couple of weeks before the wedding shane shyly admits to ilya that "there's a song that i loved as a kid and when i hear it now it makes me think of us" and after some gentle coaxing, ilya gets shane to play it for him.

"i know you hate country music but she was really popular when i was little and.. yeah. i just think of you."

ilya tries not to burst into tears over this as he collapses against shane's chest

[lesbianshepard]

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

[autieblesam-deactivated20190506]

Yeah, this isn’t some Greek myth story about a hero or demigod or something, Agnodice was a real person who actually did this.

[argillaforma]

ilya somehow managed to find the freakiest guy of them all who is also the most polite about it

shane will be like okay so i bought this rope i want you to use on me and it said to be careful because you could get rope burn if it's too tight but i kinda like when it hurts a little and i feel like i can't escape so just tie it as tight as you want i have a lotion for after so it should be fine also i really want that gag in my mouth we used last time...only if it's cool with you obviously, or we could just do something else, please tell me what you think :)

[fwizard]

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

[bentothuglife]

my cat just came up and meowed very loudly and insistently and even nipped at my leg and when i was like "FINE" and got up to follow her she led me to the next room where a patch of sun was coming in. she wanted me to sit in the sun with her.