Just A Guy Named Bob

Here for memes and spite

[minmos]

this redditor has the fucking battle royale of invasive plants (in the US) happening in their yard jesus christ. sentences of hate and destruction

[heehorde]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Image #1: Reddit comment from americanFish reading: My former house owners planted mint, English ivy, blackberries, and Concord grapes. They're all competing with the Japanese knotweed and oriental bittersweet in the nature lot surrounding our home.

The knotweed is currently winning, but we have a multi-year plan to hopefully control it all.

Image #2: Tumblr reply from zeroMission reading: hydrogen bomb vs hydrogen bomb vs hydrogen bomb vs hydrogen bomb vs

image #3: Tumblr tag from aspoopalypse reading: #i heard theyre adding kudzu and holly in the next battle pass

Image #4: Tumblr tag from whats-a-bear reading: #knotweed sounds like an aphrodisiac for werewolves /End IDs]

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

[an-enigmatic-mind]

[liquid-geodes]

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[kalianos]

[yan-town]

[ythok]

Me, reading this whole post:

[pope74220]

NOW it’s you

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

[polyphonetic]

[fallenwillow44]

Best post I've seen all day

[dat-physics-gal]

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[ericvilas]

[myh3adhurts]

Got some more mons for y'all!

I'm extremely biased toward certain pokémon so quality heavily varies between who I like more

[nitpickspot]

Venonat looks like its in the midst of exploding, these are adorable

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Tag urself I am Meowth :D

[totally-cis-offical]

I need a “humans are space orcs” thing where all sentient species are weird like that, but in their own unique ways

And a lot of them are aware of this (like we are when we make these “humans are space orcs” stories)

Maybe one species enjoys getting bit by something equivalent to mosquitoes. Maybe one actively avoids the hospitable places on their planet because it’s boring without a challenge. You get the gist.

I want to see a bunch of aliens (+humans) sitting around a table talking about how their own species is a bunch of freaks

Everyone is space orcs

[totally-cis-offical]

Best possible addition. This is a top-tier insight

@hotcheetohatred

[stephenleasheppard]

The thing about "humans are space orcs" is it was originally conceived of as a response to science fiction tropes in which every alien species had its own special thing except humans, whose special thing was either Most Generic, Most Adaptable, or Most Je Ne Sais Quoi. Like, in a lot of science fiction, Klingons are Honorable Warriors, Vulcans are Logical Scientists, Romulans are Cunning Strategists, and humans are all of the above in a way that leaves us slightly less good than any of them at their shtick but better overall and able to triumph because of our lack of specialization and the assumption that we are, somehow, just destined to be the best. See this scene from Enterprise for what I'm talking about. There's a similar scene in Mass Effect where Mordin talks about how humans are more variable and adaptable and less predictable than all the other races in that setting, which is super annoying if you know anything about how much our species is defined by the genetic bottleneck we suffered during the Ice Age -- the generic bottleneck that has left us all so genetically similar to each other that we can do crazy things like donate blood and organs to each other, things other species can't tolerate.

@prokopetz proposed that humans ought to get something special of our own that isn't just "We are the bestest and specialist in some generic way that feels like a vague and unsettling metaphor for American superiority and manifest destiny amidst all the other cultures of the world," and settled on space orcs because "Pursuit predators with freakish endurance" was the ecological niche we occupied during our own evolutionary history up until we started doing the civilization thing. The assumption from the start was that every other sci-fi or fantasy species would each be freaks in their own way, and the point of humans are space orcs was to let us be our own sort of freak, too.

People who expanded on the humans are space orcs stories immediately turned it into a reason to write little stories where humans are the biggest freaks or the only freaks and we are, in fact, the specialest most manifest destinyest je ne sais quoi-laden metaphors for the superiority of American culture over all the other cultures of the world. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Which is to say you've reinvented the point of humans are space orcs from first principles. That's pretty cool.

[prokopetz]

I think my mistake was failing to appreciate just how readily "humans have exceptionally high cardiovascular endurance due to our real-world evolutionary history as specialised persistence predators" could be twisted around into "humans have superior Will to Power", which is the other problematic special niche humans have historically been assigned in popular science fiction.

[headspace-hotel]

If i may add, "humans are space orcs" (in its original rendition) is also a good response to the scifi/fantasy trope of humans being squarely in the center of a broad distribution of traits, and the other species being broadly humanlike because of course a species would need to be Like Us in the ways that we think make us special to get to space or whatever

The idea that humans are doing something bizarre Way Over There, and none of the traits that humans see as central to our sentience or advancement or ability to explore space actually are shared by other species, is pretty fun.

It's also an opportunity to reflect on the ways that, among creatures of Earth, humans are not the default or the average way to be a creature, and in fact we are weird outliers in our own ways.

We are gigantic megafauna compared to most animals on Earth. We live on land where most of Earth is a water world. We eat everything from leaves, to fish, to insects, to glandular secretions of large mammals, to seeds, to fungi, to algae, including many plants that are toxic to other creatures, and we have all kinds of ways of rotting and heating food items to change them chemically and make more food items. We are ecosystem engineers. Our complex calls have thousands of individual regional varieties that are completely mutually unintelligible. We keep our skeletons on the inside.

There are a lot of post-hoc rationalizations for why traits unique to humans had to have been important to our evolution and "uniqueness," which leads to scifi assuming that other species who are Advanced and developed space travel would also have those special traits, but what if they didn't?

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[stratfender]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[prenbyw]

Spoon in the shape of a fish. Carved from some Sycamore I found just outside Wivenhoe, Essex.

[hinako-supremacy]

op i love your fish so much i made it a png

they are now a school of fish

[gaystation4]

[verdiris]

✨️summoning bread with the homies✨️

[nattousan]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[nattousan]

i've had this as an idea since 2017 btw

[nattousan]

damn, tumblr says my art is ass and trans people is eye strain so no blaze for me :\

it'd be a shame if this...

blazed the old fashion way...

[nyaa]

[yurimartyr]

Collection

[eddwardtheseventhstardrawnwizard]

Gotta have a griller in your collection

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[tigirl-and-co]

[cloverh0ney]

wherever you go there'll be love, love, love

[lensdeer]

I made a little web app to generate xkcd 2501 edits right from your browser

[zim-kinnie]

Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry

[zim-kinnie]

Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n

[skyheartstar13]

It’s true and you should say it.

[zim-kinnie]

Я isnt R

Р isnt P

В isnt B

[shipping-is-life-1-0-1]

If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0

[zim-kinnie]

н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound

[shimmedmilk]

you mean, like, ня?

[aveture]

oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now

[zim-kinnie]

ня

[verminviscount]

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED

[zim-kinnie]

НЯ

[degenerate-perturbation]

НЯ

[give-fnc-chocolate]

[zicygomar]

[exvind]

OH. GOD.

[lizord-lord]

THATS SO FUNNY

[o-kurwa]

Russian car mod

[yimra-deactivated20250209]

Based

[nerdvanaxi]

I guarantee that whatever car mod you expect to see going into this is not going to be what you get

[uncharismatic-fauna]

(via Wild Green Memes for Ecological Fiends)

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

[blastdamage]

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

[blastdamage]

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Underground french cinema

[npd-vriska]

my little bro is part of the catacombs community and yeah, it's basically a fully autonomous society! enough that when my bro goes in on a friday night, they don't come out until monday for work- sometimes longer if they took days off.

some of the rooms have fully stocked pantries with cooking equipment, some have movies like the one described above, some have books you're allowed to just take but people always put back- every day people bring things from the outside. artists often set up galleries there. there are rooms with mattresses and hammocks set up for people to sleep. one of the room is just a place where people leave shoes for the fun of it.

this is Known, it's not a secret by any means. the catacombs are as big as paris itself, and people live there just as people live above. it's wonderful when you think about it.

[npd-vriska]

A little update! My little bro is now my little sister. Please don't misgender her :)

[enbylesbie]

[kittysneezes]

I like this article because it’s not what you think it is.

[aprilwitching-deactivated201808]

the world is a strange and wonderous place