my happy place to just relax and scream.

loudly. shrilly. into the void. where i can no longer annoy my friends with my current obsessions.

[bbirdlube]

My Brother, My Brother and Me s1e2 | We Got Our Business Looks

[mystically-lai]

Could I get the main 6 w/ an MC who's always wanting to play with their hair? 💕😳

Not a problem. Hope this finds you well!

Requests are open~

☽ Asra☽

He could just melt. 

His hair had never been the easiest to manage.

It often fell a bit too much into his eyes and frequently knotted after a particularly restless night. It curled every which way and stuck up even against the strongest of spells.

But something about you knotting your fingers, through and through and through. 

He can hardly help but to shudder. 

And even after the longest of journeys or the toughest of days, his troubles seemed to melt away at the mere brush of your finger tips. 

Perhaps it was magic, perhaps something stronger, he’d never know for sure. But by the Gods he was grateful none the less. 

Again, please, again. 

Oh hum . . . pure bliss. 

☍ Julian ☍

Oh yes please. 

The moment your fingers are wrung in his curls he’s all limp bones and mush. 

He’ll hum and coo, all but purring from each and every weave of your touch. 

He’s a bitten lip and pressed tongue away from moaning, a feeble threat of uncouthness keeping him in check. 

Part of him fears he’s on the brink of desperation, perhaps keening a bit too close, arching a tad too far. 

But as your lips press against the shell of his ear and your hands rack against his scalp he can’t bring himself to care. 

He’d ask you not to stop, but he fears he may break away into a groan. 

The bob of his throat and the flush along his cheek bones will have to suffice. 

♕ Nadia ♕

Oh she does enjoy that. 

She’s enraptured by the patterns your hands braid through her violet locks, each more intricate than the last. 

There’s something so intimate about it. The way you twirl a strand of her hair around your fingers and draw her closer towards your touch. 

She can’t help but feel exposed by it, her hands nearly impulsing to shield herself. 

But despite the initial discomfort, the immediate aftermath is a wave of relief. 

Relief to be near to you, held together by your touch and pulled closer by your ministrations. 

Never before has anyone seen her like this. 

And should she have it her way, no one else ever will. 

☼ Portia ☼

It lulls her right to sleep. 

Without fail, she’ll last maybe a few minutes before you catch wind of her deep breathing. 

She fights it, insists she won’t, but she can’t seem to help her lids growing heavy and the poorly stifled yawns. 

It just makes her feel so . . . safe. Like she can finally, finally, rest. Even if for just a moment. 

Each twirl of her curls, each thrum of your fingers against her skin, it makes her heart slow. 

Smooth, steady, beats. 

Bu-dump, bu-dump, bu-dump. 

She’s at peace. 

❁ Muriel ❁

He doesn’t understand why you’d want to, but he certainly isn’t going to stop you. 

Not when you run your fingers through his hair so gently, working out any knots and tangles, only to re-braid the locks over again. 

He may pout a bit, his lower lip jutting out just slightly and his gaze cast aside, but it’s clear he’s enraptured with the motions. 

He thrums in pleasure, a shadow of calm passing over his features with every thread of hair. 

He’ll never admit it, but he likes it better when you’re the one who braids back his bangs, adorning the design with a forest green ribbon and a calming touch. 

There’s just something about you caring for him, this simple gesture of life made more lovely because of you. 

He’s forever grateful. 

⊕ Lucio ⊕

He’s not shy nor is he subtle. 

In fact, he’s downright needy, practically begging for you to perform the gesture as a regular part of his evening ritual. 

He’ll mew and pout, dropping his shoulders and widening his gaze, all in an effort to lure in the calming touch. 

And when you do, he melts. Sighing and humming, curling into your ministrations and nuzzling into your embrace. 

He’s vocal, not only in his pleasures but in his praises. His thanks comes in waves, in brushes of his lips and whispered marvels. 

He swears you’re made of magic and vows his eternal devotion. Anything to keep your hands on him. 

More, more, give him more. 

He’s not too proud to beg. 

[prokopetz]

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

[writebastard]

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

[prokopetz]

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

[roachpatrol]

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

[roachpatrol]

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

[froborr]

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

[megabeeprime]

Yeah, I love this.

[underscorex]

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

[roachpatrol]

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

[the-real-seebs]

Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus, testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.

“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.

“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high-fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.

there must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten it.”

[sameenbyhat]

Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.

Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”

“That was ONE TIME.” 

There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity. 

And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”

There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”

[jazzybot4]

reblog for new meta.  RE that last line: McGuyver. 

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.

[roachpatrol]

during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words. 

“what is the word ‘fuck’ for,” the innocent young vulcans want to know. “surely there are more logical intensity modifiers.”

“yeah, you’d think so,” say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. “you’d really fucking think so.”

there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’. 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance against the Borg

The Borg can adapt to the brilliant millitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire, the Klingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess of the vulcans

The Borg weren’t prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his 50′s noir detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made out of hard light

[thewolverina]

This thread is amazing. Even as a baby star trek nerd that only really knows the new movies.

[sniperct]

“there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’.”

I just died

[sunrisingblue]

I lost my shit at “toasts your bread after you’ve eaten it”

[randomingoftherandomness]

Oh please please someone write this

[zabchan]

sharing the joy that is this thread

[alarajrogers]

Oh god yes.

This is why Q loves them and the rest of the Continuum hates them. It’s like, 

Other Qs: Oh dear god, did you see that? They somehow managed to leap into the core of the multiverse where everything happens at once, and instead of going insane, they mutated into salamanders.

Q: I know! That was awesome!

Other Qs: Oh shut up.

Q: Let me show you this reality-recording I have of one of them managing to make time go backwards!

Other Qs: Oh god now you’ve gotten him started.

[rainbow2pointohyeah-deactivated]

I feel it’s only fair to point out that in DS9, when the ship gets taken over by a weirs rot of space parasite that was lonely, O'Brien immediately considers it to be a puppy in need of love and BUILDS IT A KENNEL OUT OF PROGRAMMING SO THAT IT CAN LIVE ON THE PLATFORM WITH HIM.

[alicerovai]

I’m very very very tempted to draw a comic with these two dressed like THIS!

I love

Legs

[homophobicpalpatine]

I did not spend years putting up with y’all thirsting over the ugliest white boys for y’all to go around saying that Pedro Pascal is ugly

[topaziraphale]

A minute compilation of Crowley’s most tender/vulnerable moments with Aziraphale. I’m soft ;A; 

[genderjester]

On Ways to Say I Love You

"I love you"

Crowley says it every morning and every evening and a thousand times in between. It's addictive. He's had to hold back for 6000 years and now that the floodgates are open it's impossible for him to stop the affection from spilling from his lips. Not that he wanted to.

"I love you"

He says it when Aziraphale's already asleep at night and he says it first thing when he wakes up. He says it when they're having breakfast and when they're driving in the Bentley. In St. James' Park, at the Ritz, back in the bookshop.

"I love you"

Aziraphale is reading and Crowley is lying with his head in his lap, half asleep but conscious enough to whisper it as he kisses his hand.

"I love you"

He gasps it against Aziraphale's lips between kisses, against his chest, his stomach, between his thighs.

Mumbles it when he's comfortably tucked against Aziraphale's side afterwards, listening to his heartbeat as he gently drifts off to sleep.

"I love you"

"You like saying that a lot, don't you, my love?"

"Why, well, uh yeah. Shouldn't I?"

"Oh good Lord, no. No, I quite like it. Love it, actually, er...I just-"

He pauses for a moment, shifting his weight in his seat on the couch in the bookshop's backroom, then takes a deep breath and continues.

"My dear Crowley, you know I love you more than anything, right?"

"Of course, angel, what-?"

"Because sometimes I worry because, you know, I don't say it out loud as much but I think about it so much. I love you, Crowley, I think about that all the time and I just wanna make sure you know that"

"Angel, I-", the words get stuck somewhere in his chest the first time he tries to respond, so Crowley takes a moment to carefully brush a strand of hair out of Aziraphale's face before clearing his throat and trying again.

"Angel, I, well, I know that you love me back, how could I not, I mean, look. You may not say the words as much but it's always there. It's in the way you always take my hand when we walk somewhere and it's in that look you give me when i tell a corny joke and you really really don't wanna laugh at it but you can't help it and you look so annoyed and yet so fond and, and yes maybe that's the reason why I pepper jokes like that into our conversations more often lately but uh, that's besides the point, the point is er-", he seems to momentarily have lost his train of thought and Aziraphale waits patiently for him to continue, taking one of Crowley's hands in his.

"What I'm trying to say, angel", he speaks a bit slower now as he continues, giving himself more time to think, "is I, I feel loved by you. So, so loved. I don't think I've ever felt as loved before. Don't think anyone ever held me as tenderly either."

You would never let me fall and break.

Crowley stares at their linked hands for a few seconds, a soft smile slowly spreading over his features.

"But do you know what my favourite thing is?"

"No, but do tell, my dear"

"Your love is not ineffable. It's tangible. Angel, you love me in a way I can understand."

[howdoistopthetrain]

Crowley: how would you like your coffee?

Aziraphale: as dark and bitter as my soul

Crowley: one vanilla latte with extra sugar and whipped cream coming right up

[aziraphaleisagender]

Human AU where Crowley is a florist and supplies the flowers, trees, etc. for a restaurant called “The Garden”, which has little gardens along the walls and trees in corners and waterfalls with ponds and fish

But yet it doesn’t feel daunting and uninviting, it feels cozy and safe, and it’s accessible and they offer accommodations and the food is amazing and Crowley is always annoyed because he thinks it must be super expensive, but at least they know how to take care of plants

But no! No, it’s just as affordable as any mid-tier pub, it’s just that it’s so popular that you have to book a table, which always costs more. Baffled, Crowley asks the man who comes to help him bring in a new, smaller orange tree (the old one got too big and had to be returned), “How does this place make any profit with all the expenses?”

“Who says this restaurant is for-profit?” the man retorts, his white hair all stuck up and a smutch of flour smeared above his blue eyes. “I just like cooking and making the restaurant pretty.”

Crowley nearly drops the orange tree.

[holycatsandrabbits]

“Are you the devil?”

“Am I the— excuse me?” Mr. Crowley looked down at Nadine with obvious surprise.

At the coffee shop where Nadine worked, across the street from Mr. Fell’s, her co-workers were convinced he was. They said Mr. Crowley had snake’s eyes behind those sunglasses, and maybe black wings too. And it was true that Mr. Fell seemed not to have aged since he’d opened the shop. Hazel was the one who clinched it, though, asking the obvious question. Why else would sweet Mr. Fell be with a guy like that?

Nadine had spied on him for weeks. When she saw Mr. Crowley snap his fingers and disappear, she knew the truth. “I want to make a deal,” she said, with a courage that came not from some fire within but from simply being at the end of the road. “For my soul.”

Mr. Crowley sighed and leaned back against the doorjamb of the shop. “And what kind of favor from the devil do you think is worth your soul? Fame, fortune? Short-sighted, you humans are. What, 80 years here on Earth to enjoy it, and an eternity in Hell.”

Nadine reminded herself that it was a good thing that Mr. Crowley hadn’t denied being the devil. “It’s worth it,” she said. “My husband is sick.”

For a second, Mr. Crowley’s demeanor softened, making him look decidedly undemonic. But he quickly grew cool and impassive again. “Nope, can’t help you. Out.”

Nadine held her ground. “Please! I will do anything!”

“Keep your voice down!” Mr. Crowley hissed. “Do you know how hard it is to get him to actually sleep?”

And then Nadine heard another voice from within the shop. “My dear?”

Mr. Crowley let out a low (but frankly terrifying) growl at Nadine as Mr. Fell rounded the door, looking sleepy, although he was fully dressed.

It was easier for Nadine to address Mr. Fell—well, unsurprisingly, it was easier to address anyone who was not possibly the devil. “I came to make a deal with—” she pointed a shaking hand at Mr. Crowley. “Like you did.” Mr. Fell looked confused. “So—so that you’re immortal.“

Mr. Fell’s lovely blue eyes went wide. “You…think I traded my soul for eternal life?”

It had not occurred to Nadine that she might be misunderstood on this point. “Well—uh—” she stammered, “you live together, so we assumed—”

A look of delight crossed Mr. Fell’s face. “You think I traded sex for eternal life. To him.” His eyes flicked to his husband. “Now that is an interesting idea.”

Mr. Crowley’s face had gone bright red. “It is not, I will not have people think that I would—” He sputtered. “That you would—”

Mr. Fell was dissolving in giggles. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he gasped, holding up a hand, but he couldn’t stop laughing. He managed to say, “Come in, Nadine,” and she did, wondering when she’d told him her name, before she found herself sitting on a couch with a cup of tea that as far as she could tell, had come from nowhere.

Wiping his eyes, Mr. Fell said, “I’m afraid it’s not possible to meet the devil in my bookshop, he’s much too large. What did you need, my dear?”

Nadine’s cup rattled in its saucer. She looked at Mr. Crowley. “You can’t help me? But I’m willing to trade—”

Mr. Fell’s voice grew graver. “I wouldn’t keep saying that, Nadine, someone down there will eventually hear you.”

“But I mean it! My soul for my husband’s life!”

As Mr. Fell’s expression filled with sympathy, Mr. Crowley gave an exasperated growl. “Aziraphale, no.”

Mr. Fell just frowned at him. “I am perfectly capable of—”

“Oh, yeah? Let’s see it.”

Nadine’s cup ended up missing the saucer altogether, landing on the floor, as she watched two beautiful white wings spread out from Mr. Fell’s back.

“You’re an angel?” she gasped.

Mr. Crowley was still glaring at her. “And do you see that weak glow? Should be blinding. And do you know why that is? Because he spent today visiting the heart ward.” He switched his focus to his husband now. “Shouldn’t have done, should you? And now you want to go to the cancer ward, but you can’t because I am not dealing with you either endangering your health or coming home heartbroken that you couldn’t save them all.”

“Well,” said Mr. Fell in what was a remarkably calm voice for someone getting scolded in such a menacing tone, although maybe angels were just naturally brave, “that does suggest one other possibility.”

“No, it does not. One of us has to keep up their strength, you never know when they’ll come back. My job is to protect you, angel, and if that means I can’t do this, then I just—I just won’t.” Mr. Crowley’s voice broke just a little on the last word.

Mr. Fell’s eyes grew soft. “Oh, my dear. Yes, I understand. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

Mr. Crowley folded his arms again. “Right. So it’s settled.”

Mr. Fell turned back to Nadine, who was still holding a saucer with nothing on it. “I’m very sorry, my dear, but—”

“Fine!” Mr. Crowley growled suddenly, throwing his hands up in the air and making both of them jump. “But I am charging a price. You wanted a deal with the devil, I’ll give you one.”

Mr. Fell was looking at his husband with surprise that quickly brightened into a rather dazed adoration.

“I thought you weren’t—” Nadine started.

Mr. Crowley removed his sunglasses. Nadine dropped the saucer.

“I’m close enough,” he assured her as he stalked closer. “And this is my price. For the life of your husband, and only him: not a word about this to anybody. Ever. Aziraphale already does too much, I won’t have the whole of humanity knocking down the bookshop door.”

“You don’t want my soul?” Nadine squeaked.

“He already owns mine, dear,” Mr. Fell said, in an extremely fond voice, “along with my heart. I don’t think he needs anyone else’s.”

For the second time in the evening, Nadine watched Mr. Crowley lose his composure, a bright red blush flaming over his face. He seemed not to know what to do with his hands. “Angel, for Hell’s sake!” he snapped quietly, shoving his sunglasses back on.

The next day, Nadine wasn’t surprised to find the entire cancer ward making miraculous recoveries. After all, she knew what it was like to love someone so strongly that you would do anything for him.

This one was my husband’s idea!  

Mr. Fell’s bookshop ficlet # 1 here

Find me on Ao3: HolyCatsAndRabbits

[wheeloffortune-design]

Sometimes you’re just too close to see the big picture. 

.

Inspired by Adam’s aura :) Also, see how much I love you guys? I drew backgrounds.

[azsiraphales]

Crowley and Aziraphale stumbling into Crowley’s apartment, frantic kisses being passed between them, pulling at each other’s clothes until Crowley finally manages to get Aziraphale crowded and pressed up against a wall, a knee wedged between his thighs. there’s more frantic kisses being passed between them before Crowley slowly starts making his way down, kissing, nipping, licking down his Angel’s jaw, his throat, and Aziraphale’s moaning, whimpering softly, little gasps leaving his throat, completely into it, his hand finding his way into Crowley’s hair and Crowley’s completely into that. 

…until the hand in his hair suddenly goes tense, tugging his head away, “wait, wait, wait,” Aziraphale chants, still breathless and Crowley does, stiff, searching his Angel’s face, afraid that he’s done something wrong, that he’s somehow hurt him. 

“what’s wrong, Angel?”

Aziraphale’s eyes flicker behind him, his pupils blown wide and Crowley can’t help the pleased feeling that flows through him at the sight, knowing that he’s the one responsible. “the plants.”

“the- the plants?” 

“yes, the plants, my dear. we’ve been giving them quite the show, I’m afraid. I was just thinking that perhaps we should move this to the bedroom before we go any further? I would hate to traumatize them after all the lovely work you’ve put into them.” 

[214b]

if i had my way, i would be yours

painting is too damn hard i give up

[10yrsyart]

Zira, watching AJ pulling on a door that clearly says ‘push’: I’ve been watching him do this for the last ten minutes. I don’t have the heart to tell him to push. // Crow, recording him: Pull harder! //

i almost choked on my snacks so y’know

[10yrsyart]

they’re married, Harold.

[thistlearts]

I just really loved Good Omens and those angel and demons so much.

You can find me on my instagram: thistle_arts 

anf ko-fi : 

Ko-fi.com/A5523XIZ

And some NSFW stuff on Patreon

www.patreon.com/ThistleArts

[turnipoddity]

too fast?