so we beat on

I'm a fan of crappy tv shows and good movies

[penandinkprincess]

unreasonably amused thinking about shane in ottawa getting photographed wearing a boston bears hoodie and causing a kerfuffle online because IS THIS A HINT? IS SHANE HOLLANDER MOVING ONCE AGAIN? TROUBLE IN PARADISE, IS HOLLANDER STEALING MAYBE-EX-HUSBAND'S OLD TEAM ON HIS WAY TO MEET UP WITH EX, ROSE LANDRY-

and meanwhile the actual truth is that he had his one night every three business years of getting drunk the night before and is very bad at being hungover so just grabbed the first soft-looking thing he could find in his very dark bedroom (not turning the light on for his own sake and because ilya was still sleeping) to put on to go get brunch with rose, who made the trip from filming in montreal to see him and thus couldn't be put off on account of the Oh Fucking Hell of his current state.

twitter losing its shit does NOT improve his headache that afternoon.

[jewelcoatfish]

shane buying a new bottle of hand soap because ilya made an off hand comment a few days ago that he liked the smell of jasmine on his hand. ilya picked up the bottle and asked “you bought different soap? i thought you liked the texture of the old one?” and shane said “well yeah, it’s the same texture, but it has the jasmine scent you like”

and ilya tears up because well the last person that cared that much about how he wanted things is svetlana having his fav scent in her oil diffuser out whenever he visits and put out his fav set of bedsheets and gets him things he couldn’t remember saying he wanted and now there’s shane who loves him too.

and so he called svetlana and went “he remembers i like jasmine hand soap” in that teary voice that sounds so out of nowhere but sveta understands. sveta always understands. and sveta tells him yes because you deserve to have people knowing things about you, and shane loves you, and i love you, and i am so happy someone loves you enough to buy that soap you like.

[snail-mail-33]

okay okay so, because of Yuna "slut him out" Hollander, the whole world already thinks Shane is a hot mfer but Ilya, whilst obviously an attractive man, has not had the same exposure. Like he's done interviews shirtless and posted things on insta that made enough people feral so he has a small but determined army of stans, but it's not like a universally accepted fact that he's hot af. Most people only see him almost completely engulfed in hockey gear being an asshole.

So when Hollanov is revealed, there's probably a bunch of outrage about how Shane could do better etc. Ilya is not too bothered about this (because he agrees) but Shane is fuming. So he sets Yuna on the case who gets him a very horned up Ciroc advert and a joint Calvin Klein campaign and the entire world is like omfg my bad good pull Shane lol #beefcake4beefcake

[escapepodding]

Boring facts (in my head) about parent David Hollander:

New people at work when introduced to him go "oh, like Shane Hollander" and he BEAMS at that and says "Yep!"

Has a picture of Shane on his desk and the same new people think its a joke until an old timer who probably met Shane at a bring your kid to work day clued them in

Would not let Yuna touch the college fund they set up for Shane until he was out of his rookie contract. What if Shane changed his mind about hockey? What if he got injured and needed a good education? Only conceeded when his son was a multi-millionaire

Only time he has ever gone to HR was when someone stole the baby Shane picture off his desk after he got famous. That's his baby!!! Give it back!!! There were so many memos and all staff emails that it did get returned one night, but a picture of it circulated online so now David only has PR photos at work

His lawyer is an old college friend who he catches up with at least once a year and who reviews the Hollander's will and life insurance policy each year with specific instructions to look after Shane. This annual tradition continues to this day. The lawyer buddy is going to be there for that grown celebrity professional sportsman no matter what

Was so excited when Shane started The Cottage project, and helped him with everything, including liaising with the builders etc. Was delighted to have the first a joint project with his son since school (he helped with art/science/show and tell)

Is really bad with technology but the nice young people at the office help (is not fully cognizant of the fact half the office is in love with him but does correctly suspect the other half want to marry his son)

Always knew he wanted to be a dad, and was devastated when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen, but didn't want to put that on Yuna who was already struggling with it

Sent congratulation cards and presents to all his buddies when they had kids anf was genuinely happy for then but it also killed him a bit. Unfortunately the conversation around men struggling because they wanted kids was not happening in the 80s/early 90s so he kept quiet (and passed that trait on to Shane)

Thought Shane was perfect from the moment he was born, and still thinks that. Can't concieve of why Shane thought he could let them down, he's literally always been Yuna and David's perfect baby

Gets out the good vodka again when he tells Ilya this one day and Ilya starts crying

[rainbow-femme]

Someone online makes a comment about how Shane probably isn’t a very good boyfriend, saying his flat affect and resting neutral face in paparazzi pics and video must mean he’s detached and not affectionate compared to Ilya who is much more overtly affectionate

Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

Hayden gets a video of Shane letting Ruby brush his hair and fill it with clips while he and Jade do Ilya’s nails, Ilya laying with a face mask and cucumbers over his eyes and his head on Shane’s lap

[heymacy]

I want to watch.

[gaynehollander]

I feel like I've seen several posts about how good Shane is at poker and I firmly subscribe to that belief but here's what I find interesting. Playing poker against Shane is when Ilya realises that Shane actually isn't a bad liar. He's just bad at hiding his desire from Ilya. Actually, when playing against him he has no fucking tells. None at all. And Ilya knows him. He knows his face. He knows how to read him. He recognises every minute shift of his features. He has every microexpression catalogued. And yet. Shane. keeps. winning. Ilya tries everything, every trick in the book. He tries to distract Shane, tries to catch him off guard, tries to intimidate him but with every attempt the only the only thing he manages is to rile Shane up and so he's sitting across the table from him and the only thing Ilya can read in his expression is that he is definitely hard and desperately trying to cover that fact up and he really is horrible at hiding it but Ilya still doesn't know if he's fucking lying about his cards.

[penandinkprincess]

okay but hudson saying that playing shane actually made his muscles sore and stiff because of how tense shane is all the time makes me laugh imagining ilya offering a massage in what was meant to just be playful foreplay, but then he starts doing it and is just 🤨🤨 jesus??? 🤨🤨 hollander, do you have muscles that AREN'T knots??? 🤨

and at first shane keeps trying to turn over because this foreplay is taking too long, and ilya is just *tsk noise and shoving his head back into the pillow but in a way that's never been less sexual between them in their entire time together* stay down, hollander, this is painful to witness how the fuck do you skate with these fucked muscles-

[hardlyhinged]

Op’s tags

[penandinkprincess]

shane waking up from a massage nap he didn't mean or know he was going to take and just :) to >:( SO fast.

meanwhile ilya is just grinning because HA. he wins again. >:)

[penandinkprincess]

shane in his head running the numbers on a risk analysis of getting railed to within an inch of his life with his face crammed in a pillow versus ilya knocking him tf out with his evil magic massage hands

[sapphikatara]

zuko is already a hilarious character but he becomes even funnier if you give him a crush on sokka

[ash-and-starlight-deact]

taking the crumbs of venetian agna qel’a chewing biting gnashing on them until there aren’t even bones left and then spitting out. carnevale northern water tribe style

[beelze0-0]

"You've changed"

(ID: sequential art

image 1: a crowd of people in colors of the fire nation, water tribes, and earth kingdom in a large throne room in the fire kingdom.

image 2: a view of Sokka talking with some people in the crowd.

image 3: Sokka looking out of frame with surprise mid conversation.

image 4: Zuko holding a closed fan dressed in regal clothing and golden sun and fire jewelry with advisors in the back, looking into the crowd.

end ID)

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT Text) Happy very, very late Mother's Day!

I am not saying that zuko is sokkas substitute for kya. or they look in any way similar! The whole concept here is that something was happening at the moment, be it how they were laying in bed, how the hair pooled over the pillow, or how sokka was able to hold onto it. It just brought sokka back. It triggered a memory, and suddenly he relived a brief memory. Making him suddenly miss his mother again. hope you enjoy!

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.

[noahreids]

Alex & Henry - RWRB | Closer, Tegan and Sara

[trynot-moved]

@lgbtqcreators creators bingo – lyrics

[longlivepalestine]

someone commented this under the post

Israel IS a terrorist state. They are terrorists.

They are just allowed to say this and continue their genocide and no one can stop them? I knew the world we live in, is a total fire dumpster but this? what Israhell is doing and getting away with? this is a whole new level of fucked up.

And the hypocrites who used to say "never again", who now side with the oppressors, i just want you to know you would have sided with the Nazis too.

Fuck Israel, fuck anyone that supports them and fuck Zionism which is the root of all of this.

[prideandprejudice]

Happy New Year :*