I might hold such things as multitudes

[beemovieerotica]

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

[depsidase]

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[beardedmrbean]

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

[quasi-normalcy]

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

[natalieironside]

Shout out to trans women who aren’t computer scientists or musicians or avant-garde artists or whatever.

Shout-out to tgirls who work at Taco Bell. Thank u queen, society would collapse without you

[snkrfnd]

Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.

[natalieironside]

Thank u for sharing this with us

[yiddishfisting]

howling

[offshoreoilrig]

[kelcipher]

[glumshoe]

do not go to Dr. Kenneth Wolf for top surgery

[glumshoe]

I went to him because he was 1.) the cheapest possible option and since I needed crowdfunding that seemed best 2.) within driving distance of my friends who’d be able to host me. I didn’t have any complications and I don’t hate my results, so the fact that he stopped offering free revisions after COVID (including for people who had their surgeries before the pandemic) and ghosts everyone isn’t a huge deal personally. I do have moderate to severe dog-earring right in the middle my chest which limits what clothing I can wear and have inquired about possible revisions with other surgeons (so far no one has been willing to operate on other dr’s work and have told me I’d need to pay the price of a full secondary top surgery). Dr. Wolf famously ghosts all his patients after surgery and has strict weight limits.

HOWEVER I accompanied my friend to their top surgery at the University of Michigan last year that made Dr. Wolf’s entire process seem back alley and sketchy by comparison. My friend had extensive pre- and post-surgical monitoring and extreme sanitary precautions. Dr. Wolf just had me take off my shirt and slapped me on the operation table still wearing my street clothes and then scraped me up and sent me home the moment I regained consciousness. His bedside manner was offputting and uncomfortable. It has been impossible to contact him ever since, even to ask politely why my stitches look so different from his other results. Other people with much worse results have also been ghosted.

[beardedmrbean]

[medievaljournalist]

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

[thecactifindahome]

[meangirlnurse]

gosh, isn't it interesting that this symptom is specific to men for some unknowable reason? listening and learning

[meangirlnurse]

why is this symptom specific to men. think

[meangirlnurse]

#‘I HAVE BIG FEELINGS’ is only allowed for toddlers#you are an adult. use your words. stop making excuses.#bet these men dont do that around their bosses or anywhere there could be consequences they care about either 💅

[mockiatoh]

lol “have you considered your abusive boyfriend might have ADHD? Try having some empathy once in a while”. Great. Love it.

Seriously, ‘the angry man being aggressive and physically threatening is doing so to express that he is mad’. WOW ya don’t say. ‘But this common abusive behavior is different because he’s special’. Bro they all think the reason they’re abusive is special and not actually abuse or not actually about hurting you or not actually about intimidating you!

[obestriddbifftomat]

Why does he do that? - Lundy Bancroft

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[sashayed]

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

[boomstab-papa]

[your-cosmic-creature]

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[hug-your-face]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think