Friends, Romans, Country Men, Lend Me Your Ears!

26 year old trying their best

[number1mongrel]

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[hymnism]

making a collection

[putridghost]

Wait I have more

[acemingo]

[infectiouspiss]

Is it acceptable that I do shave my legs only because it’s easier to put lotion on my legs when they aren’t too hairy and I do like the feeling of smooth skin when I finish up with it.

I also only really do it once or twice a month so sometimes I do go out in public with hairy legs.

come on man i'm on my lunch break can't you wait???

[mrsterlingeverything]

Im craving... $000,000

[the-frog-blog-deactivated202510]

Check your Venmo :)🤭

[mrsterlingeverything]

STOPPP YOU DIDNT

[goodieprocter]

The rare two-punchline EWC comic (because both made me laugh)

Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[the-haiku-bot]

this heatwave fucking

sucks how am I going to

serve my liege like this

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[paper-mario-wiki]

heading out the door

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra (2021)

[paper-mario-wiki]

oh yeah smart guy?

what's this one called?

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

Samsung Galaxy A30 (2019)

[paper-mario-wiki]

WRONG it's a Huawei P Smart Plus from 2018

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

I... was wrong? N-no.... its... impossible!

I made all the proper calculations... The dual camera, the separated flash, the fingerprint scanner!! Even the holo type backglass! My deduction was perfect-

Wh-what?!?!

The... the color..!! Whats going on here? You mean its not a trick of the light, but a gradient design?! Such an obvious tell, and I missed it?! No, that... thats impossible!!!

This can't be!!! I'll be ruined!! MY REPUTATION AS A GIMMICK BLOG!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[sludgebitch]

YOU STUPID FUCKING DICKHEAD!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH THE x10 GATE NOT THE x2!!!! YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MEN!!! IT'S ALL FUCKED!!!!!!!!

[kristina100000]

incredible picture found on the interwebs i had to share with everypony

[geniusoflove]

me when i talk to a cute girl i see on the bus all the time

[geniusoflove]

the gif isnt working and this looks very scary sorry folks

[laeffy]

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

[thyrell]

her what

[thyrell]

does anyone know whag the rest of it says

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[tarragonthedragon]

this is exactly how non kinsters sound when they jump into kink discussions to say "yeah! it's fine as long as you're all consenting adults!"

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[bearie]

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

[angelicguy]

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

[bearie]

do you want custody of the post

[angelicguy]

I just wanna hang out