just a lil system existing without apology

[nephelasium]

Welcome to the online abode of the Nephelai!

I’m Quitterie (pronounced like kee-tree! you can call me Keet, they/she/it pronouns). I hope you enjoy your stay! 💨

(A few of us are about to majorly update this post bc a lot of stuff is different now)

The Nephelai are a diagnosed DID system (and are polyfragmented) of 400+ members and counting 😊 I’d tell ya about our name but I’ll leave that to my brother who y’all might meet later hehe :3 We are a white system and our body and host are adults. Our host is trans and (almost) all of us are some kind of queer lol. We’re also all autistic and disabled (we got EDS, MCAS, POTS, PCOS, and ME/CFS). Collectively we use they/them pronouns in 3rd person and we/us/ours pronouns in 1st person.

I made this blog for us to have a place for all of us to post and interact with people online. 💕 Our host isn’t out as a system member to most people so we get kinda lonely. So having a place to be random and silly and maybe meet people might be super good for us! 💖 Personally, I just wanna post memes and aesthetic pics and see what kinds of stuff my system members like posting online!

We’ll sign posts with our names, mostly so we can look back later at what we’ve posted and remember who did what lol. If we wanna, we’ll post intros too and tag them with “nephelai intro” 🥰 So you can learn about us by searching that tag!

—

A few safety things for us:

If you’re looking for syscourse, this is *not* the blog for you! We’re just trying to be happy and exist day by day, and if that bothers you you are welcome to block us!

Also, if you’re looking for anything even slightly nsfw, also not the place for you! Like 80% of us are littles and middles and we don’t need that thank you very much ✨

We will block blogs without explanation if we ever get a bad vibe. This blog is for us to have fun, not get anxiety 🤪

We aren’t gonna do asks or anything at least not for now.

If you are anti-systems or think dissociative disorders are fake, leave us alone plz. Also plz don’t call us alters, we don’t like that.

Some of us might post about our trauma (cuz we got a lot of that 🙃). We’ll tag those with “tw trauma”, “tw vent”, and other tw tags for specifics. Do *not* interact on those posts with religiosity or asking to pray for us. That’s not cool to do without permission!

Also, cuz we’re legally a collective adult and most of us aren’t (but some of us are), those of us who are littles and middles prefer to only talk to littles and middles from other adult-bodied systems. Our adult members are cool with talking with folx 18+, plural or not!

And last but not least, don’t be rude! No interpersonal discrimination allowed! No racism, ableism, transphobia, homo/bi/ace/queerphobia, xenophobia, fatphobia…none of it! We have a strong justice orientation and will not let that slide when we see it!

Mostly we just wanna keep things fun and safe here for our system!

—

That’s all folx! 🐬

-Quitterie

[beauburrowsystem]

[nephelasium]

TADC spoiler-adjacent info under the cut

I really want to make an animatic of Jax & Pomni in ep 9 to the song Invisible Wounds by Aurora. I don’t have the energy or skill, but I wanted to project this idea into the universe.

Song if anyone is interested

-Aubin

[mindnagerie]

A Drop in the Bucket.

[catbritta]

i love listening to song on repeat!!!!! reblog if you love listening to song on repeat!!!!!!!!!

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

it's hard to explain to people that there's a point where fatigue genuinely causes severe suffering because the natural response is "couldn't you just sleep?". But sometimes you can't sleep. Sometimes you've already slept for 16 hours and you're too restless to sleep more. Sometimes you have insomnia. Sometimes the amount that your body wants you to sleep is dangerous because it doesn't leave you enough time to care for yourself. So you're just stuck in this limbo between being awake and being asleep where moving feels so horrible, your body is turning on every alarm bell it can to get you to stop, but you've stopped all the things you can stop. Pretty much all I can do when I'm like this is lay still and watch youtube videos and even sometimes the sensory input is overwhelming.

[Image ID: a banner that says "this post is about physical disability, don't derail" on the first line and "physically abled people don't speak including talking in tags" on the second].

[slightly-sigilant]

a while ago I had this convo with Lark that I feel like speaks for itself:

Lark: "I want to stay up late playing Minecraft, but... I have to be the responsible one..."

me:

me: "Okay so. There's this particularly insidious bit of thinking that I feel like circulates unaddressed around the plural community, and that's that anyone who isn't perceived as the 'host' or the 'core' or the 'primary' or whatever centrist term is automatically held to a higher standard of behavior."

me: "Like we all know already how 'persecutors' are unpersoned and 'protectors' and 'caretakers' and suchlike are also unpersoned by being expected to be bottomless pools of strength and love, but it also happens outside of role labels, in a much more subtle way. If you're not the Assigned Most Real One By Society, then any kind of flaw or vice you have becomes a mark against your very existence. If you're the 'host' and you, like, maybe spend a little more money than you should, well, everyone's a person and that's okay! If you're not the 'host' and you spend a little too much money? Well, clearly you are a fucking nuisance and a burden upon the life of The Real One and you should be so ashamed of yourself, don't you know that healthy plurality is all about having saintly role models in your head who always help you Make Good Choices and never ever have a little Suboptimal Fun themselves?? You are not a person being a person - you are a Problem to be Fixed."

me: "And I could get into dignity of risk and all the bullshit double-standards towards disabled folks, fat folks, and so on, but lemme just cut to the chase. Lark. It is One Hundred Percent within your right to do this Mildly Irresponsible Fun Thing. It is your body and your life as well. Would you like to do the Mildly Irresponsible Fun Thing."

Lark: (small voice) "...Yes. I would like to do the Mildly Irresponsible Fun Thing."

me: "FUCK YEAH"

[unlimited-nobu-works]

the floating head of wisdom

[toe-fingerman]

Please don't fall victim to internet misinformation. There is no floating head. It's a regular horse, it's neck is just hidden due to the position of the camera. I made an image to help you understand the what's actually going on.

[pride-knightess]

Thank you for the clarification

[angria]

Some will have parts (usually very young) who associate self-care with abandonment.  These young parts will have experienced profound neglect and will be longing for rescue.  They can remain stubbornly focused on getting love from others and may refuse to even meet the Self for a long time. 

Internal Family Systems Therapy, Second Edition | Richard Schwartz

[nephelasium]

idk if we have a Self per se but we definitely have littles that identify with this

[sillylittleouppy]

I LOVE MY PLUSHIES REBLOG IF YOU LOVE YOUR PLUSHIES

[semiplural]

States of Being

We were trying to explain to some friends earlier that saying "this person is in front" and "this person is co-conscious" isn't always the most useful phrasing for us because either of those terms can mean a lot of different things. We have our own words that we like to use to describe where folks can be in relation to our awareness.

The states on this chart are still a bit of a simplification, as we flow between them and it's more of a spectrum than a discrete set, but they're close enough to the actual language that we use to do the job.

[nephelasium]

not sure where to put this but it’s consuming our mind and I need to get it out.

(image description under the cut)

we just got diagnosed with me/cfs yesterday and it’s overwhelming and our brain is hyperfixated on it.

according to the below scale in this article, we’d be considered a 6 on the severity scale (between severe and very severe) and I’m so upset that it took us until that point to get a diagnosis when we’ve been having symptoms for years

we have other conditions too but this is by far our most debilitating one.

[Image description: The image is a comprehensive visual guide illustrating the impact of ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) on patients' lives, presented as a "ME/CFS severity impact on Patients Life Scale". It’s a multi-panel graphic, with sections labeled A, B, and C.

Guide Title: ME/CFS severity impact on Patients Life Scale

Text extracted from image:

Scale ranges from mild to extremely severe with extremely severe at a 8 through 10 and mild at a 0 through 2 on the scale.

Very Severe

Mostly bedridden

Able to:

• Do Very Minimal activities of daily living

• Take care of themselves (use the bathroom/ wash)

• Speak or write

Not able to:

• Leave the house

• Do basic chores

Loss of up to 80% of functioning

Severe

Mostly house bound

Limited to minimal activities of daily living (e.g., face washing, showering)

Able to:

• Be mobile and perform most self-care activities independently.

• Do minimal activities of daily living and basic chores

Not able to:

• Hold a job or study

• Engage in any cardiovascular activity

Loss of pre ME/CFS baseline function

Loss of up to 60% of functioning

Moderate

Reduced mobility, and limited activities

Needs frequent rest periods

Able to:

• Be mobile and perform self-care activities independently.

• Engage in activities that don't involve moderate cardiovascular exercise

May or not be able to:

• Hold a part-time job

• Study part-time

Not able to:

• Hold a full time job or study full time

Loss of up to 40% of functioning

Mild

Symptoms start to affect their quality of life

Able to:

• Be mobile and perform self-care activities independently

• Hold a full time job

• Participate in social and family activities

• Engage in most activities

May or not be able to:

• Intense Cardiovascular Exercise (due to PEM)

Not able to:

• Be active all day everyday

Loss of up to 20% of functioning

The extremely severe category is devised into 5 subcategories A through E.

Extremely Severe includes loss of up to 100% of functioning

Extremely Severe E

Completely bedridden

Unable to:

• Get out of bed, not even to go to the bathroom.

• Move on their own; any attempt results in a crash.

• Perform any task independently.

• Tolerate any human presence, as it leads to a crash.

• Speak, pantomime, write, or communicate in any way.

• Listen to speech, read, or interpret pantomime.

• Process any input, e.g., colors, symbols, labels, sounds.

Extremely Severe D

Completely bedridden (possible exception: bathroom)

Must hold completely still for parts or all of the day or risk crashing

May be able to:

• Move to do basic things like use urinal or scratch an itch

Not able to:

• Move a muscle for parts or all of the day.

• Engage in any activity or work while in bed.

• Tolerate human presence.

• Use any electronics.

• Speak, write, pantomime, or communicate in any way.

• Listen to speech, read, or interpret pantomime.

• Process any input, e.g., colors, symbols, labels, sounds

Extremely Severe C

Completely bedridden (possible exception: bathroom)

Able to:

• Move in bed throughout the day

May or may not be able to:

• Sit up for short periods

• Tolerate human presence for brief periods

• Pantomime and interpret pantomime

Not able to:

• Work on crafts or projects independently

• Communicate on phone, computer, social media

• Touch any keys on electronics, text, type

• Speak or write

• Listen to speech, read

• Process input, e.g., colors, symbols, labels, sounds

Extremely Severe B

Completely bedridden (possible exception: bathroom)

Able to do some or all:

• Sit up for longer periods

• Work on crafts or projects for short periods

• Scroll around on phone or computer

• Watch short videos and listen to music

• Tolerate human presence for longer periods

• Pantomime

• Listen to speech, read a little

Not able to:

• Speak or write, text or type

• Process much input, e.g., colors, symbols, labels, sounds

Extremely Severe A

Completely bedridden (possible exception: bathroom)

Able to do some or all:

• Sit up for extended periods

• Work on crafts or projects independently

• Communicate via text, computer, social media

• Watch TV and listen to music

• Tolerate human presence

• Pantomime and get spoken response

• Listen to speech, read some

Not able to:

• Speak or write

• Process much input, e.g., colors, symbols, labels, sounds

End image description]

[thefoxcollective1]

Everytime we tell a friend we're plural we get one of 2 reactions.

1. They say "okay" and never acknowledge it again.

2. They ask an insane amount of invasive questions.

Ask me which one I prefer. Go ahead. Ask. Because it'll ALWAYS be the second one!! Always!!! I can say "I don't want to answer that, but I can explain [xyz]" because at least they're trying to understand! They NEVER mean to be assholes about it! They're just curious, and I can deal with that! With the first one, I have to basically beg them to acknowledge me as a person!! I'll always prefer the 2nd one. Always.

[agave]

I think part of the misconception is because when someone comes out to you as gay, for instance, the thing to do is acknowledge, accept, and don't start treating them like they're a different person because of it. so I think people must assume that placid acceptance is the respectful thing to do, even if they don't understand what they're accepting

coming out as plural is different than coming out in most other ways, because it's less understood, and a major unveiling of the structure of someone's life. more detail is required to understand what you're being told

coming out as plural is, essentially, coming out as having an entirely different lifestyle, mode of thought, and often identity and personality than was previously assumed. it's, often, telling someone that they had an additional secret friend/friends they didn't know about all along. you expect the person to ask questions. what's this friend's name, what are they like, how large and how varied is the system? is it appropriate to celebrate this moment, or is plurality more of an albatross around the system's neck? how would the system like to be referred to?

most people, especially singlets, don't really know much about plurality. it's seen as a mental illness. in a lot of cases, it is associated with one. I think that makes it harder to ask questions, too. but even if they do know their stuff, there are so many types of systems, and plurality is so predicative to how your very life operates, that it's almost essential to ask questions in order to understand one's friend and accept them for who they are

before you can accept a system for who they are, you first have to know who they are. questions are a show of solidarity; of wanting to pursue that acceptance. ask questions. return the vulnerability your friend has offered you by coming out to you as plural

[thecacophonyspeaks]

why did we make this

[fictiveheresy]

ask game for polyfragmented/larger systems because theres barely any that apply to us:

🏥 — how many hosts have you had since your syscovery?

➕️ — largest subsystem?

🔙 — how many headmates have you had in front at once?

🍃 — what colour has the most headmates associated with it?

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 — how many in-sys families do you have?

↔️ — do you have any groups that arent sisasystems?

➗️ — how do you divide headmates into groups?

ℹ️ — what source would you say you have the most headmates from?

🆔️ — if you have a collective identity, how many headmates dont identify with it?

🎓 — how do you schedule things?

👨‍💼 — do you have some kind of officer/person in charge of the rules to enforce rules?

🫦 — who has the most bitches?

🧴 — how many polycules are there?

🥜 — whats the biggest group in-system?

📴 — how often does the fronting group (however you define that) change?

practice reblog karma (send asks to the person you reblogged it from and people who reblog it from you) and please send us asks with these questions. please.

[nephelasium]

relevant ask game!

[idontlikedicktionaries]

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.

Please.

[gengario]

whoops lost myself for about eight years there