TW: a bit of angst towards the end is all, (no age warnings)
Do you ever just sit and stare out into the world, through your own looking glass, a small nimble feeling frame surrounds your perspective.
The current viewpoint? The far hills, fluffy thick air swirls around each peak, the valley slowly starts to surrender it's steep uphill and gives into a slow path of huts, houses then roads, the nearby convenice stores, a small family business and a few local bars.
Restaurants and larger offices come into view further in. The higher the reach towards the heavens the central your eyes graze until...
A usual scenario of noise traffic and commuting occurs so much pollution is now all at rest. Nothing happens in the early hours of the day and thats why you seem to like it. Nothing happens
Nothing to notice, pick up on, gossip over. Nothing to 'Run-and-tell-your-friends-about' kinda thing.
Absolutely blank, the odd person up at this time and out for a walk but other than that, absolutely nobody does a thing at this ungodly hour.
And it's perfect. It's so deliciously peaceful that you'd rather give up any other hour of the day to let this moment push further.
A soft breeze tickles its way into your chest as you sit there, taking in the lack of action.
It feels safe, and you sigh thinking maybe all your issues aren't there, or weren't there in the first place? Maybe it's because of people around you what you've had to endure because of them, you'd rather blame them than face the reality.
After all, you do just fine here during the initial slow moments of the dawn.
You shift slightly taking it all in one last time. It'll be another 24 hours till you get back here.
You're not a morning person, but it somehow gives you all the comfort you need, like maybe things will be alright.
You wanted to capture it; the essence and atmosphere, take it all and slip it into a bottle with a firm cork screwed.
Keep it on your bed-side table for when you need the escape, for when Jay wasn't there to hold you, for when you couldn't cope and it felt like the entire world was becoming too much.
Because the one being, the one person you could safely crumble into, break down and shatter in their arms was Jongseong Park.
If the planet lost gravity this very second, it wouldn't matter, you weren't grounded by that force. It was jongseong, it was his soft gaze, the way his eyebrows would crinkle up, his lips ever so slightly separating, fingers grasping, almost trembling in fear of losing you, losing his own gravity too.
Hair framing his face and a yearn for you to be there, to be closer and safer. To be in his arms. It pushed past his thoughts and manifested through, a magnetic field that always kept you on your feet, firmly planted on the ground, weighed and safe.
Jay wouldn't let you float away into the depths of the cold abyss.
Just thinking about it gave you shivers, you pulled your feet up and into yourself on the chair.
Your chest tightened, knuckles turning a pale white as you held yourself, you wanted to indulge in the concept of jay being there, a constance, just like the air you breathe.
But very deep down you knew, it was melancholic, there was a miniscule part of your heart (one you did not even want to exist) that wrapped itself tight to the harsh and painful reality, that he wouldn't be there always, it was practically impossible.
So what would you do when your lifeline ends. How would you survive with jongseong gone?
Just letting a few thoughts and feelings out, let me know if you want more of this kinda thing :)
Seola - It’s the neo zone © All rights reserved.
