nightlessnightwing

[batsandbirdbrains]

Dick: Question three - who invented the thermometer?

Garth: Would that be Fahrenheit?

Roy: Don't be so fuckin stupid!

Donna: No, the thermometer -

Wally: Freddie Mercury.

[ultraviolettefan]

If Jason came out to his family:

(Had a convo about this with father dearest @capricious-bastard13)

Bruce, hugging Jason: "I always knew, but still. Thank you for having the courage to come out to us."

Dick: "Damn. What about Prime?"

Jason: "What about him?"

Dick: "He won't be getting-"

Jason: "STOP. No. Do not."

Dick, grinning: "Whaaaaat?"

Jason: "Eugh! Just shut the fuck up."

Duke: "So you're.... Sexn't?"

Steph: "He's Mr. Reprodon't."

Cass: "Forever Virg."

Tim: "Alpha, Beta, Omega, and Nada."

Jason: ಠ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ಠ

Damian: *Patting Jason on the back."

Jason, sighing: "Thanks, Dames-"

Damian: "You're welcome, mocktail."

[ghostie-ghosty]

Everyone's first attempt at being a wingman is a little rocky!

[nyukaart]

Oh lawd he comin

[batsandbirdbrains]

I actually love fic scenarios where Dick gets kicked out/fired when he’s maybe like 13-16, and Slade is the one who finds him. Slade is the one who realizes Robin is just a kid, and now he’s by himself, and while yes Slade is going to take advantage of the situation, he also is feeling oddly paternal.

So he adopts Dick himself. And while Dick eventually ends up back on the hero side of things, Slade remains his actually adopted father. Perhaps they stay in regular contact, even as Dick rejoins the Batfamily.

Maybe Dick still goes out as Renegade with Deathstroke every so often, but no one knows he’s Renegade. It’s a fun little secret.

There is of course some sort of fallout when everyone realizes Slade adopted him, but thats always the fun part. Perhaps there’s some world-ending situation where the JL and all affiliated heroes have to team up with some villains (I love those kinds of fics), and it somehow comes out that Nightwing and Deathstroke work together like a well oiled machine. Then it comes out that actually yeah they’re technically father and son.

And then Bruce and the rest of the bats lose their shit, and Dick hides behind Slade and uses him as a human shield.

[izbnart]

Batman animation 👍🌟

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

It's the law to reblog this every time you see it.

[freshlywashedjeans]

bruce realizing that being a parent means that you have absolutely nothing for yourself. children do not understand personal space and privacy.

dick gets scared at night and he wants to sleep in bruce's bed. fine. dick realizing that bruce has the best bed in the house and playing his games in there, scaring the shit out of him when he goes to take a nap? unexpected. dick thinks bruce's sandwich looks better than his, even though alfred made them the exact same sandwich? dick takes a bite out of his sandwich. and not a little, dainty bite--half of his fucking sandwich, chomped. and dick's just happily chewing away, like bruce hasn't been left with scraps.

dick steals bruce's clothes because they're cooler. he looses all of bruce's socks because he likes to wear them in the winter. bruce will be talking work calls in his office and dick will just barge in to do cartwheels in the corner. the worst though, is when bruce is in the BATHROOM, and dick decides that he needs to talk to bruce right then and there about some inane shit and he just BARGES IN and bruce puts his foot down. he beams a toilet paper roll at dick's head sending the poor boy right out the door.

he's mortified. and he feels really guilty about throwing a toilet roll with enough force to kill a grown man at his child's head.

dick takes it in stride through and just talks to him through the door.

bruce is so happy when jason prefers to stay in his own room or the library. the boy prefers his own, clothes too, and he doesn't really share food. and even though he knows jason's hangups are for entirely different reasons, bruce is privately relieved. at least he doesn't have to share his things with dick AND jason, lol

[nightlessnightwing]

It wasn't until the part of the cartwheels in the office that I realized this was about young Dick and not, in fact, grown up Dick

Not that 25yo Dick wouldn't scare the crap out of Bruce by sleeping in his bed while he's supposed to be in Bludhaven or steal Bruce's food 'cus it tastes better

[cateyam]

throwing my the Dick Jason knew when he was Robin (emo, angsty) vs the Dick Tim and Damian knows (outgoing, always there for them).

——————

Post-reveal of Red Hood:

Dick: Little Wing! *ugly sobbing and clinging onto Jason for dear life*

Jason, bewildered: Uh, who the fuck is this?

Bruce: That's... Dick?

Jason: No it fucking isn't. Dick isn't all this clingy and emotional. He rather punch me than hug me.

Dick: *stops sobbing and lets go of Jason to gut him in the stomach*

Jason, doubling over in pain: Yep. That's the Dick I know.

Tim watching from the sidelines: ???

——————

Damian: Richard, I need help with—

Dick: I'm on it!

Jason, watching them with disdain: Gross.

Dick, slowly turning to him with a creepy smile on his face: Said something, twerp?

Jason: *runs away*

——————

Tim and Damian: *fighting over something*

Dick: C'mon, guys. Let's not fight over something minor.

Jason, mocking: Yeah, we're one big happy family!

Dick: I will finish Joker's job for him and make sure you stay down.

Jason:

Jason: Yeah I rather off myself.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Headcanon that one of Dick’s most annoying habits for when he’s thinking and has to fiddle with something absentmindedly to keep his hands busy, he juggles. He just juggles anything. He learned to do it several different ways early on in his circus days and now it’s just something he does without thinking. It drives everyone bonkers.

[ch-charred]

Dick: You know, subway surfers is so unrealistic.

Bruce: …

Bruce: How do you know that?

Dick:

Bruce:

Dick: I don’t?

Bruce: You’re grounded.

Dick: I’m 27????

[jasontoddbeinghappyfanaccount]

Bruce: Hi, 27, I'm Dad.

Dick: . . .

Bruce: you're grounded

[moonstainn]

The brothers ever

[ofdragonandphoenix]

Tim: Watching Dick and Jason, I used to wonder how adults could stand beating and tormenting a child, Robin or no

Tim: Then, it hit me.

Tim: Literally. Damian wedged himself between the HVAC system on my snack roof and waited for me to start eating before he jumped out and smacked me across the face.

Tim: My Robin Nuggets didn’t make it.

Tim: Now I have a detailed, step by step plan to ensure that he suffers.

*in the background*

Jason: Vindication.

Dick: No! Both of you, no! This is not okay!

Jason: *scoffs* Like you were so welcoming to me when I arrived

Dick: I never did anything to you!

Jason: You’re really gonna look me in the eyes and pretend it wasn’t you who moved things around in the Manor so I kept getting lost? Or who glued all my favorite books to the top shelves so I’d have to climb up the bookcases and get yelled at by Bruce? Or who kept dumping broken training equipment under my bed for Alfred to find?

Dick:

Jason: I repeat— VINDICATION.

[jasontoddscrowbars]

Dick walked out onto the back terrace to find Jason and Alfred relaxing on lounging chairs sipping on pina colada’s and getting lost in the rays. He scoffed in amusement at the sight.

Dick: what are you two doing?

Jason simply pointed out to the yard with his drink which was fully decked with a pineapple chunk, an umbrella and a mini sponge on a stick?

Jason: Alfred set the nepo babies to mow the lawn.

Dick glanced out. Damian was wielding a weed whacker like a sword in his frustration, cutting down everything, even the lawn gnomes in his path. Tim was letting the push mower drag him at this point as he was screaming curses about eating bugs and branches hitting him.

They were doing more harm than good but it was the enjoyment of them suffering doing hard work that was so satisfying.

Dick slowly nodded as he made his way around a chair; his eyes never leaving them and their show of chaos as he picked up a drink off a tray along the way. He threw his leg around the lounger, plopped back and sat down with a perfect view.

Dick: well done.

Suddenly a loud engine came from his right. They turned their heads finding Bruce in sweats and a grass covered shirt slowly passing in front of them on possibly the oldest lawn mower in existence. He was obviously pissed as he was putting along in front of them like a parade.

Dick: all of them?

The lawnmower gave a bang and a jerk. Bruce’s eyes went wide as smoke then puffed in his face from the engine.

Bruce: fuck! This piece of-

He continued to start banging on the machine and dancing around it in some hopes it would miraculously start.

Alfred: yup.

[the-fyre-flie]

Bruce Wayne, fighter of gods, a monster of a man, Batman, reduced to a just a mushy dad who loves his babies when inevitably sick. He catches a cold, Alfred benches him, and now he's just haunting the Bat Cave until his kids show up so he can smother them.

Bruce, holding Dick in his arms: Stop... squirming... :(

Dick, who had been trying to work a case, but is now stuck: B, I have a case! This is important!

Bruce, looking like a kicked puppy: This is important :( my son is important :( why can't I hug my son :(

Dick is the only one who really puts up with a sick Bruce, willing to let Bruce cuddle him and cry over him. Sick Bruce is Emotional Bruce, and he mourns how poorly he feels he raised Dick, how he wished he was a better father, how he wished he kept Dick away from vigilantism. Dick just let Bruce cry into his shoulder as he keeps working on the case.

[batsandbirdbrains]

okay little fluffy thought:

it’s after some massive world-ending all hands on deck mission (with league and co successful ofc) and everyone’s just hanging around the watchtower relaxing. sans nightwing, who was constantly switching roles in sooo many teams and is prob still doing Paperwork or something. but he’s Tired. so he just kinda falls asleep at the meeting table. and people pass by and go Aw How Sweet and he gets smothered in blankets* and pillows and the lights get turned down and they let him rest for hours and hours

(*one of them is the batman cape, bruce couldn’t help himself. when dick was robin he used to fall asleep on his lap all curled up in the cape when the league had some late night meeting)

Shut up this is so cute. I’m just picturing Dick passed out with his head buried in his arms, slumped over a meeting table. And when Bruce finds him, he’s reminded of when he would carry a sleepy little Robin back to the Batmobile after the end of patrol, and when he’d carry a sleepy little Dick up from the Batcave to his bedroom to tuck him into bed.

So Bruce unclips his cape and drapes it over Dick’s shoulders, tucking him in as best he can.

When Dick wakes up, he’s a little disoriented and he darts up, sitting straight, startling a bit when the cape falls down around him and pools in his lap. He’s a little bleary eyed, and his mask is still stuck to his face, and he can’t stop yawning.

He ends up shuffling out of the meeting room, the cape tugged around his shoulders, his hands holding the cape up under his chin. He looks like a little kid wrapped in a blanket, and Bruce’s heart melts. Dick ends up plopping down right next to where Bruce is sitting on a couch, and he curls up against his side.

“Wake me up when you go home,” he mumbles, then buries his face beneath the cape.

“Will do, chum,” he says gently, smoothing Dick’s hair back and out of his face.

Whoever Bruce had been talking to is so baffled about why Nightwing just curled up against Batman. They know that Nightwing is one of Batman’s protégés, but maybe they weren’t around when Dick was still Robin. They haven’t seen Bruce be the doting dad figure.

[batsandbirdbrains]

I just had an idea I tought you might like.

So we have Slade and Dick who have this complicated father/son, metor/mentee, enemies, besties, codependent relationship.

Then one day a deathstroke appears in Gotham and it's an all bats and birds situation, but Dick quickly realizes that whoever this is, it's not Slade. The suit is just a bit off and they move different from Slade.

A little while later Slade himself shows up, because he heard about the not him deathstroke. He goes to Gotham and catches the Deathstroke withthe help of Dick. They unmask him and to their surprise it's Dick from an alternate dimension.

After their initial shock Slade starts to ask questions and after a little while he even praises the alternate Dick for his skills and how good he was in the field. And he won't stop talking about how he always knew Dick would be his perfect successor.

And then you have Dick watching HIS Slade gushing over his alternate self and he just gets so incredebly jelous.

I don't really know how to continue this, but just Dick being jelous of himself is just such a fun idea to me.

Dick being jealous of HIMSELF is so fucking funny. I love this idea

[batsandbirdbrains]

Bear with me as I set the stage:

Reverse robins AU, BUT they come in around the same timeframes relative to one another. Duke is Bruces ward (until his mom gets better) for about half a year before damian enters the picture, steph is around like 2 years after, and tim gets in the picture like 3 months after steph ect, ect

THIS LEADS to Bruce HAVING SUCH BAD EMPTY NESTING SYNDROME (after jason moves out of the mannor) THAT IT LEADS TO HIM adopting an 8 year old dick and baby sitting a- like 6 year old babs on patrol when he's NEARING FIFTY. Behold my vision. It's beautiful.

He's an experienced parent by now but BY GOD none of his children have been JUGGLING KNIVES at the dinner table. Is he too old for this? He might be too old for this.

He can keep up with Dick but he also needs his "old man naps" (as duke calls them) and his knees aren't what they used to be

He is, in fact, too old for this. And so all his other kids take turns keeping Dick with them at their respective homes because Bruce was in way over his head thinking he could handle another kid.

But Dick still likes Bruce best so he escapes more often than not and ends up crawling through Bruce’s bedroom window, smacking him in the face with Zitka, and announcing, “I’m home!” as he crawls into bed with Bruce.

“I thought you were staying with Tim for a couple days?” Bruce asks, his voice scratchy, but he makes sure Dick is covered by the blankets and tucked in snugly.

“I wanted to come home. I like Timmy, but I like you best.”

And that makes Bruce grin like an idiot, his eyes closing as he falls back asleep.

It doesn’t occur to him to ask if Tim knew Dick had come back home. And it really should have, because this happens every other week when one of his kids says they’ll take Dick for a couple days.

Tim calls him in a panic at 5:30 the next morning, and Dick groans and smushes his face into Bruce’s chest. Tim is freaking out the second Bruce holds the phone to his ear, but Bruce doesn’t really pay attention to the words.

“He came home, he’s fine. See you for dinner,” he says quickly in a groggy voice. Then he hangs up without waiting for a response, and tosses his phone aside to cuddle Dick closer to his chest.

“Timmy’s a worry wart,” Dick whines, yawning loudly.

“I know,” Bruce mumbles, placing a hand on the back of Dick’s head and smoothing down his hair. “It just means he loves you. Now let’s go back to sleep.”

“Shhh,” Dick shushes him, moving a hand up to cover Bruce’s mouth.

Bruce laughs, pats the back of Dick’s head again, and they both go back to sleep until a more reasonable hour.