jbb

[taalasbiili]

[newtype-lila]

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

[nohoperadio]

Cavemen didn't have clocks yet, so it was a mystery to them why the sun suddenly started setting and rising an hour later or earlier when daylight savings changed over. Now we know.

[dailycatsblog]

[the-sacred-now]

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

[the-sacred-now]

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

[the-sacred-now]

Uh oh

Is what she said when I immediately reached for my phone and opened Tumblr instead of responding

[the-sacred-now]

@everything-you-feel-is-real I know by tumblr tradition that I'm to say "impossible, my posts never blow up like that," or "please don't do this to me."

But I feel in my bones that you are right. If this is to be my wife's moment of glory, I am willing to suffer notification overload, that the world may know she is funny. #MyFunnyWife

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[scumfuckus]

[yiffpunk]

[heatseekingbehavior]

[nonbinarybeartrade]

[falconfate]

Yeah, I’d have killed a man for this bedroom as a kid

[beetwentynine]

To watch Taskmaster all together really is quite a thing because one moment it is 2015 & Alex Horne barely dares touch Greg Davies' elbow. The next it's 2018 & he's calling him Daddy. You see Greg Davies cringe at being called Daddy with his whole enormous body. And then it's 2026 & Daddy is now his default way to refer to himself

[fulminata2]

When you pick up a sword for the first time you will be slow and awkward. This is frustrating, but refuse the temptation to try and become a “faster” fencer. Chasing after speed is like trying to catch smoke. If you try and pursue speed, all you will accomplish is haste. Haste is the enemy of 1st class fencing.

Speed is a lie the untrained mind tells itself when it sees an action it cannot follow. The truth is a combination of timing, control, and fluidity. Fluid motion, even done slowly, will always arrive before a hasty strike. Control will allow you to move without wasteful motion that will slow you down. Timing will eliminate the need to move fast almost entirely. There is no need to get somewhere fast so long as you get there at the right time.  

[auckie]

Tip for mymutuals who engage in bladed armed combat

[plasmalogical]

signal boost

[friends-fam-fiends-hellothere]

This is true for plenty of other things too!! When you’re learning anything that involves moving your body, don’t forget that quality of movement is more important than speed!

[reading-by-the-pale-moonlight]

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast

[antiobjecttaskforce]

THEYRE LYING JUMP AT YOUR OPPONENT JUMPSCARE JUMPSCARE BACK FOOT FORWARD AND LEAP AT THEM!!

send them to HELL!!!

[byjove]

when you think about it, it’s crazy how rocks were probably the first things humans began collecting (we know our prehuman ancestors moved them from place to place if they found one that was an interesting shape) and 200,000+ years later, rock collecting is still a common human hobby

[ruttotohtori]

Mitäs jos sais kasaa ison joukon ihmisiä, jotka menis pakkasyönä kusemaa eduskuntatalon portaille ja sit kaikki poliitikot joutus seuraavana päivänä liukastelee kusijäärappusil?

[smol-chrry]

I hope no one's done this before. Baby hornet showing her older sibling her new moves

[mag184]

[sandmandaddy69]

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

A "salad" of radishes on the side would make this dish perfect.

[wanderrealms]

You could add mozzarella pearls to the radish salad. Soften the pepperiness of radishes a little.

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

Do they sell mozzarella balls that small?

[wanderrealms]

Yeah, they're sold as mozzarella pearls. The idea is that you can throw them into a salad, instead of shredding a normal sized mozzarella ball.

Some stores have mozzarella in a tube shape and it's firmer. You can slice pieces and put them on pizza and they keep the shape better.

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

Yup, balls and bricks are what I'm familiar with.

But yeah, more spheres for the sphere menu! xD

[recess-is-in]

could have mochi for dessert

[mrcloudyfun]

At the Tumblr Ball Pit Diner

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

You can't just hide this in the notes @theadveragecanadian! xD

[sleepyjim2]

ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

[softgrlfriend]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[insertchaoticenbyname]

The earlier in the year you reblog this the better it gets

[wizardworm]

this picture i took of my girlfriend taking a picture of our cat is absolutely killing me

[schizm-deactivated]

reminds me of this

[wizardworm]

@kisakisaxo

[kisakisaxo]

THAT IS HIM. THAT’S THE FACE. 

[kisakisaxo]

If anyone would like to see the end result of the picture I was taking of him:

[what-even-is-thiss]

There’s this thing that happens where I keep a bottle of whiskey in the house that I don’t use very often because I just don’t drink very often.

And then someone looks in the liquor cabinet one day and says “why do we have whiskey? Who drinks whiskey?” and then I say “it’s mine. It’s so I can make whiskey sours.”

And then because my close friends and family only drink wine and beer and don’t know what a cocktail is they then ask “What’s a whiskey sour?” and I say “It’s simple syrup, whiskey, and lemon juice on ice”

Then they say “What does that taste like?” and I say “Kind of like gross lemonade but in a good way. I could make you one if you like.” and then they say “No thanks I don’t really do cocktails”

And then two months later the exact same thing happens again with the exact same person because they have forgotten every part of that exchange.

But see, this somehow happens with both every member of my household and every person who visits us regularly and sometimes even with one time guests.

So I have this exact exchange like once or twice a week realistically and tbh I think it’s starting to drive me insane how literally nobody in my life can hold the knowledge of what a whiskey sour is in their brain for longer than three seconds.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m caught in a very specific time loop but only in regards to how I use whiskey.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Well SOMEBODY can remember what a whiskey sour is