Ningguang's Jade Chamber

incorrect quotes • she/they • local XiaoVen, Kaebedo, Heiscara and Chiluc consumer

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Clorinde: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a threat.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Aether: Paimon isn't talking to me.

Lyney: Enjoy it while it lasts.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Dottore: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Kaveh: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Albedo: Kaeya, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?!

Kaeya: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Nahida: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Wanderer: Killed without hesitation.

Nahida: No.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Ayato: What are your goals?

Thoma: To pet all the dogs.

Ayato: No, fitness goals.

Thoma: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Kaveh: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Alhaitham: That's why I carry two swords.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Zhongli: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Hu Tao: You mean literally or figuratively?

Zhongli: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Childe: I prevented a murder today.

Diluc: Really? How’d you do that?

Childe: self control.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Dottore, tending to Tartaglia's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Tartaglia: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Kaeya: I can explain.

Diluc: Can you?

Kaeya: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Dottore: *walking in to a room* sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder.*

Scaramouche: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Thoma: Is something burning?

Ayato: Just my love for you.

Thoma: Ayato, the toaster is on fire.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Scaramouche: Fuck.

Heizou: We've got to work on your cursing.

Scaramouche: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Scaramouche: I was arrested for being too cool.

Heizou: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

[ningguangsjadechamber]

Klee: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Diluc: Oh, you’ve been?

Klee: Once. In Monopoly.