No escape, no future @noidontneedahaircut - Tumblr Blog

Oddly I don’t see a single occupation listed besides the last where they’ll murder you just because they’re having a bad day and automatically get away with it.

adruze

I have only love for the USPS.

roach-works

reminder that cops have also been logging covid deaths (after refusing to comply with masking orders nationwide) as on-duty fatalities, as well as everything from heart attacks to car crashes to friendly fire. a really significant amount of cop deaths aren't actually due to Criminal Violence, but it's significant that the cops act as though *all* of them are.

astraldemise

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

astraldemise

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

astraldemise

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

bedrock-to-buildheight

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

sudorm-rfslash

pokefuseme

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

nomadiclegends

thefringeperson

Yeah... these two are room mates so they can afford a slightly better apartment. They both have random unique hobbies/skills that help make life easier and that the other is super impressed by but they each think is unimpressive and so normal it's boring.

fyeahgothicromance

professionalchaoticdumbass

IT

FUCKEN

WIMDY

i hope aar destroy all ai fuckers

hometoursandotherstuff

Scientists discover 512 yr. old shark, which would be oldest living vertebrate on earth. Greenland sharks tend to outlive other creatures b/c they're a very slow-growing species and don't reach maturity until 150 yrs. old.

shencomix

menlove-archive

honest to god can’t stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it’s such a good example of politically driven folk music.

kaizykat

Lyrics:

Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, “I can give you anything you ask” “You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It’s unlimited, just set me to the task.”

Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, “I want houses, “I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start.”

Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered ‘round To admire the man whose wishes had come true

They said, “Let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he’s been set so far apart.” “Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff who has everything! ‘Cause his wishes are only at the start.”

Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, “Everybody’s getting in my way.” The genie smiled as before, “You’ve got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away.”

Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet ‘Til he finally said, “I have just one wish more.” “I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore.”

Well, the genie’s eyes got big and sad and shiny ‘Til she finally said, “Your wish is my command.” And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again

So, let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff, who’s got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart

wordsmithic

gogglesaurus

my first wondertrade in oras and i got a machamp incredible

gogglesaurus

all it knows is dig

level 31 and it just knows dig

gogglesaurus

what am i supposed to do with this

gaypet-deactivated20150628

is

is this machamp’s name “homo matsuri”

as in

“homo festival”

lovelive2k15-deactivated2015010

yea this is good

jajakuroneko-deactivated2018121

Some more interesting information:

“Dig” in Japanese was originally “Ana wo horu,” which translates to “Dig a hole,” with the direct object’s being “Ana,” “a hole” and the verb’s being “horu,” “dig.”

The common writing of “ana,” “穴,” is the same as a colloquial term for the buttocks, “ketsu.”

“Horu,” in addition to it’s more standard definition, is also a slang verb meaning “to have anal sex (between two men).”

Your new Machamp is named “Homo Festival,” and it’s only move is to fuck a man in the ass.

pokemonheritageposts

Pokemon Heritage Post

sunshinemoonrx

Hey everyone! I made a "fun" "game" to torture my friends with! Which is weird because surely everyone knows what Goku looks like? Should be pretty simple?

Goku is one of the most famous and recognisable characters in the world. Identifying him is the easiest thing in the world. Right? (Note: T

Reviews:

"got i think one question in and went Ah fuck. SHIT"

"what do you mean one of them is actually called gohanks i thought that was a joke"

"THIS IS NOT OKAY"

ratica

This quiz is so powerful

bogleech

This quiz is the funniest thing anyone has made about goku

catchymemes

debellatis

This is.... Absurdly cute. What the fuck.

gallusrostromegalus

It's worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:

All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it's negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it's lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it's cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.

So it's less "there's a leak in my house" and more "OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!"

derinthescarletpescatarian

#i loveeee beavers so much. little beasts in the river in their little homes#slapping everything. moving sticks around#what other mammal does this. just builds a little hut and sits in it. can you imagine if deer could do that

Humans do that