The precipice of changing, profoundly rearranging

Perennial lurker. Ended up here on accident. Art sideblog: @chronographia-art.

[sexchangedotcom]

psychiatrist just finished my evaluation and they said i have a curse most ancient

[lostinhistory]

I need non-Canadians to know that everything in this thread is true

[lostinhistory]

Because some people don't believe:

The official residence of the Prime Minister of Canada is 24 Sussex Drive. However, no money has been spend on the upkeep and maintenance of the house for like, 20 years, because any PM who tried would be screamed at by the Opposition for wasting tax payer money. As such, the house has deteriorated into a moldy, rat-infested mess. Also, Stephen Harper's wife did animal rescue, so it apparently also smelled of cat pee. So when Justin Trudeau (who grew up in the house) became PM, he was like, 'oh hell no' and moved his family into Rideau Cottage, which yes, is behind the Governor General's residence. The "cottage" is 22 rooms, so it's not like they're living in a shack. 24 Sussex, meanwhile, continues to gently moulder while everyone argues about what to do with it. (The RCMP, who guard the PM, want to abandon it, as it is too difficult to guard and too easy to access, as proven by that time a guy broke in and was only twarted from his mission by the PM's wife locking the bedroom door.)

In Canada, we don't vote for the Prime Minister, we vote for our Member of Parliament, and the leader of whichever party has the most MP's becomes the PM. So it really is a local election.

When the Speaker of the House is selected, they are "dragged" to their chair. This has its origins in English history.

It's just a whimsical little thing we do

A walk in the snow

Fuddle-duddle

Section 329 of the Canada Elections Act

Upper Canada and Lower Canada goes back to the origins of the country, it's Ontario and Quebec, we're not getting into all that.

Vancouver Island is named after Captain George Vancouver, as is the city, but the city is on the mainland. PEI is tiny, Cape Breton is part of Nova Scotia but is totally different, Montreal be Montrealing, and the island of Newfoundland is just half a province, the other half being Labrador.

Ontario is the centre of government and manufacturing, and that does make it important, but no one likes them for it.

There is actually a Communist Party candidate in my riding. The party is so insignificant they don't even show up on the election tracker.

The half a time zone is Newfoundland, which sits in its own bespoke time zone, half an hour ahead of Atlantic time.

Lester B. Pearson was the PM when the flag was picked, and he was a Liberal, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Official Languages Act, baby

Toronto keeps eating the cities surrounding it

Interprovinical trade barriers has been a big thing the last few months, for obvious reasons

The Rideau Canal

The Supreme Court of Canada only wears the Santa robes for special occasions. Some poor summer student does have to wear the owl costume, though. Also, the makeup of the court is determined by region, with a set number of justices for each region.

No one cares about the Senate. They don't really do much.

Pierre Poutine

The outgoing Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador really does receive a moose hunting license for life.

[rostekhorn]

"... I can't tell if you're joking or not." "He's being fully serious!"

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

[sirmanmister]

THE LICE ONE IS MAKING ME FUCKING CRY OH MY GOD

[cheese-grater-terminator-deacti]

[burntoutandproud]

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

[naamahdarling]

[mylordshesacactus]

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

[mylordshesacactus]

The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.

The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.

No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.

The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.

Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.

[mylordshesacactus]

WOE

PLATE BE UPON YE

[byjove]

found this while looking for pictures of Aragorn and Brego for that post

sometimes a guy will be kind of meh about all of his female love interests because his soulmate is a horse. Aragorn AND Sir Gawain.

[two4joybirbs]

Medievalist nerd moment: Sir Gawain’s horse is one of VERY few horses named something in Middle English literature. Gringolet was super important to the story!

Another horse is Arondel, steed of Sir Bevis in Sir Bevis of Hampton (circa 1300). In this romance (what the genre is called but also what happens between Bevis and Arondel), it ends with Bevis finding Arondel having died of a VERY ripe old age in his stable, going inside to find his wife, and basically saying to her, well, let’s get in bed now and die because Arondel is dead. And they do. The end.

[byjove]

Yes! Not only is Gringolet one of the only named horses, he is also a badass. He killed a dragon in German prose! Gawain often talks to him, which I find endearing. Truly a soulmate situation and the most consistent relationship in his life.

[neroushalvaus]

Tumblr in the 60s

☮ monkeewholock follow

🎉🎉CONGRATULATIONS UNITED KINGDOM 🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉BYE BYE GROSS INDECENCY!!!!🌈🌈🌈 62 countries have now legalized sexual activities between men🌈🌈🌈

🐞 homophilespock follow

SPIRK CAN FINALLY FUCK

🚀 starrfleet follow

They are American, not British... But I'm pretty sure spirk has always been able to fuck since the show is set in the future.

📻 lesbianbobdylan follow

Christ, this is not about your cutesy uwu yaoi otp, go outside and smoke some grass

10,8 t. notes

🌻 flowerpower follow

Politicians are not your friends but damn Kennedy is fine, I look at one (1) picture of him and my head literally explodes

🌻 flowerpower follow

...i just woke up, why is my askbox full

🌻 flowerpower follow

WHY IS HE TRENDING I'M SCARED

🌻 flowerpower follow

guys stop reblogging this it's been like five years i've changed

290,9 t. notes

🎹 nixonsafascist follow

do you think they call him little richard because he has a little. Richard

🎹 nixonsafascist follow

easy website

58,1 t. notes

🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow

Being the only lesbian in your friend group sucks so bad. "beatles or stones??" i will kill you

🗣 lavendermenaceisreal-deactivated72537262

Disrespecting female social groups for male validation? Typical lesbian behaviour.

🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow

Mike Jacker isnt gonna fuck you

🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow

Oh no I think she couldn't handle that

77 notes

✌ draftdodgerdyke

DM me for the addresses of my Swedish and Canadian friends. Do not put your personal information in the reblogs.

🙍‍♀️ silvermilk follow

You should be ashamed of yourself.

✌ draftdodgerdyke

huh??

🙍‍♀️ silvermilk follow

I said, you should be ashamed of yourself. You disgust me. I assure you, when the commies attack us, you will not find your silly little post "groovy" anymore.

✌ draftdodgerdyke

Jesus, don't flip your wig

🙍‍♀️ silvermilk follow

My father fought in ww2 for you ungrateful degenerate.

✌ draftdodgerdyke

Don't see what your daddy's unsexiness has to do with me and my lads taking a sexy sexy trip to Sweden.

#anyway only hot guys dodge the draft

587 notes

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow

in every interview i watch of the beatles they are so DONE and trolling everybody, these fucking annoying BITCHES, i need them inside me so badly

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow

#this but not john lennon #i just can't forget the heinous things he said about jesus

idk I actually think it was very sexy of him, stop trying to cancel john in my post

✝️ jesusrevolution follow

The reading comprehension on this website is piss poor. John literally didn't mean he was greater than Jesus or better than Jesus, he was just trying to make a point about the world becoming more secular. Cancel culture has gone too far.

🚷 to-hell-with-the-beatles follow

How dare you say we piss on the poor?? Jesus died for Mr Lennon's sins and it's not "cancelling" to send him a few respectably worded death threats to remind him of that. He cancelled our Lord first!

✝️ jesusrevolution follow

Girl Jesus literally said it's cool, I dropped acid yesterday and saw Him and He told me.

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow

help the girls (christians) are fighting in my beatles thirst post

6,008 notes

🛼 donovandyke follow

I will be glued to the tv today. If you don't want to hear about it, just blacklist #moonlanding !!

0 notes

🗣 claudeberger4ever-deactivated98975287

Hi I'm new to the Hair musical fandom so I'm not super invested in the whole discourse, but I just felt like this needed to be said: Friendly reminder that not being against the war in Vietnam does not make you a bad person!

🥁 ringoforpresident follow

it literally does tho

✌ draftdodgerdyke

Another win for us hot guys

17,2 t. notes

[jordanbolton]

'16 Scenes of You and Your Dad in Cars' - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is out now! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

[homunculus-argument]

Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, witch. I wasn't listening when it was being written down and I am also not listening now.

[laora-ryn]

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

[ilikethemwings]

[intairnwetrust]

If I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone, but there would be signs.

[visenyaism]

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

[cuties-in-codices]

14th c. swiss choir book illuminations

pages from the gradual of st. katharinenthal, a large-format liturgical choir book produced in the dominican convent st. katharinental and illuminated in the lake constance region, c. 1312

source: Zürich, SNM, LM 26117, fol. 161v, 178v, and 231v

[mohnblumesworld]

[controlresonant]

[apocryphics]

lydia davis

[snakesonacartesianplane]

In the same vein:

"The simultaneous borrowing of French and Latin words led to a highly distinctive feature of modern English vocabulary: sets of three items, all expressing the same fundamental notion but differing slightly in meaning or style, e.g., kingly, royal, regal; rise, mount, ascend; ask, question, interrogate; fast, firm, secure; holy, sacred, consecrated. The Old English word (the first in each triplet) is the most colloquial, the French (the second) is more literary, and the Latin word (the last) more learned." (Howard Jackson and Etienne Zé Amvela, "Words, Meaning and Vocabulary: An Introduction to Modern English Lexicology." Continuum, 2000)

via ThoughtCo

Though I like how John McWhorter phrases it better:

But language tends not to do what we want it to. The die was cast: English had thousands of new words competing with native English words for the same things. One result was triplets allowing us to express ideas with varying degrees of formality. Help is English, aid is French, assist is Latin. Or, kingly is English, royal is French, regal is Latin – note how one imagines posture improving with each level: kingly sounds almost mocking, regal is straight-backed like a throne, royal is somewhere in the middle, a worthy but fallible monarch.

from "English is not normal"

[dearestlyrics]

and it's the old religion

but the urge remains the same

freedom from the body, freedom from the pain

[shutoffthelights]

to me, there's an innate horror in tradwife content. it's always a pretty young girl in her late teens, early 20s. she's so young. she's basically a baby herself. maybe she's about your age. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

either way, she always has at least three kids, sometimes more. you don't want to ask when she had them, but she had to have them young because her youngest had to have been born when she was at least seventeen based on how time works. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

she's smiling but there's something missing in her eyes - a spark that should be there. there's no passion, there's just the movements of the day. sometimes she'll give an interview where she says she barely feels like getting out of bed, and other times she says nothing. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

her world isn't real - it's neat kitchens and made from scratch cheese. she tells you how she doesn't need feminism because she likes this life, she likes wearing pretty dresses, don't you dare pity her. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

you scroll up to an ex tradewife in her forties talking about how her husband divorced her and left her for a younger girl, leaving her destitute and penniless and twenty years out of the workforce. you scroll again to a pretty young girl saying she doesn't need a job, her husband will take care of her. you scroll again. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

another woman, this time in her early thirties, talking about how she just managed to leave her abusive husband and has nothing and he took the kids, warning and pleading young girls to not fall for tradwife lies. you scroll again to a young tradwife girl saying that would never happen to her, and you're just jealous of her. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

you scroll again. a teen girl tells you that she'll just track her period, she doesn't NEED a toxic chemical like birth control. you scroll again to an obgyn pleading with young girls to understand birth control is just hormonal, and that period tracking isn't effective. you just watch happen. you can't save her.

you scroll again, and it's jd vance saying how women belong in the homes and shouldn't be allowed to vote. that their husbands should decide how they should vote. you scroll again to a domestic abuse counselor telling women their vote is private and they can lie to their husbands. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

she doesn't want you to save her. how dare you pity her. you just watch it happen. you can't save her. a horrible feeling washes over you. you just watch it happen.

[shutoffthelights]

[thaparasite]

Sending sincere thoughts (of violence) and prayers (of your downfall)

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Hope you are in Gods’ thoughts (to smite next)