Not So Fitness

A triumphant yet touching tale of how I went from flab to fit and changed my life, or a tale of how I fumble my way to fitness. It all depends on how you look at it.

[notsofitness]

I’m so sensitive....food sensitive (I know, also hilarious)

Ok people. Soooo I am going to do my best to make a really long story short: I went to a doctor because even though I was going to the gym regularly I couldn’t lose weight or sleep well. Turns out I am sensitive to EVERYTHING!

So my life the past month or so has been trying to manage a life without gluten, soy, sugar, dairy, corn, CHOCOLATE or COFFEE!!!

Not going to lie, I’ve cried twice. This may seem dramatic but it almost felt like I was mourning a loss. All the foods I once loved were gone literally in an hour! There was also a really unpleasant reatauraunt man who made me cry, but that’s another story for another day.

On the bright side I have discovered some awesome new foods, and am finally LOSING WEIGHT! The amazing thing about that is I am losing weight without counting or measuring anything which is awesome. Obviously the sad thing about it is I can’t eat most things. I basically live on potatoes now.

[egberts]

fat people aren’t being dramatic when we say we have to try harder to be seen with a fraction of the appeal of a thin person. if a fat person wears a shirt one size too big because they like it baggy it’s “lazy” and “unkempt” and they’re “hiding their body” but if a skinny person wears a shirt one size too big it’s “a look” and “casual” and “effortless”. you can argue against this all you want but you know it’s true. it’s not dramatic. it’s true.

[notsofitness]

Running

I tried running today. It did not go well. That is all.

[notsofitness]

Day One

So today is my first day on the fast metabolism diet....and I may have eaten ice cream cake. I know I know, but hear me out! I am a teacher, and a student from another room came to visit me with ice cream cake, so I took it and said thank you. Then without thinking I ate it. The. Whole. Slice. I forgot I was on a diet people! Seriously!? After feeling guilty for my entire prep period I decided I am going to count today as a success regardless. The fact that I forgot I was on a diet means I wasn't starving, or obsessing over food, or counting down to my next meal. This is HUGE! So thank you little boy, for bringing me ice cream cake. I couldn't have done it without you. :)

[notsofitness]

Don’t call it a comeback...

...because it’s not! To call this a comeback would be to suggest I succeeded before and now I am back at it to succeed again. I haven’t yet succeeded, but I am back at it to try. 

So this past year has been a big one. I ended a five year relationship (que the sad “awww’s” and muffled crying). I got completely derailed, and have done nothing for a while health wise. I am now in a new relationship, and me and my boyfriend would like to be healthy together. I am hoping having that support will help.

He also told me something that stuck with me, he said that it isn't about motivation, because that will always eventually falter, you need to be disciplined. Anyone can do it if they are. (I know what you are thinking, and no I am not dating a monk wise beyond his years)

So, together we are starting the “fast metabolism diet”. I hate the name, by the way, but that’s not here nor there. It is basically a way of eating clean that supposedly gets your metabolism back on track. 

Hopefully I get better at maintaining this blog too, if not I guess I will see you in a year. :) 

But seriously.....see you soon.

[notsofitness]

What I've learned so far

Okay, so I am on day two (que applause) and I have learned some things about the 21 day fix.

1. While you may get the containers and think “what are these, meals for ants?!” they really are enough, and I haven’t been super hungry yet. But really people, day two, so not being hungry yet isn’t saying a whole lot.

2. The workouts they send you to do… They are serious. I went in to set up my classroom today after doing one last night and could hardly walk. Another teacher came in to see me, and while trying to get up off the floor it took all that was in me not to scream in her face due to the pain in my legs.

3. I am a baby (see why via number 2)

So I guess all in all I haven’t learned much. But they say knowledge is power, maybe more power will help me get through these workouts. Yeesh.

[notsofitness]

Weigh in (dun, dun, dun)

So I weighed myself today since I haven't in a while (I've been too scared! Eek!) 210.8 I am officially at my biggest weight EVER! This 21 Day Fix cannot come soon enough. I did eat a hot pocket today. Can I blame it on the hot pocket? Yeah, yeah, let's just say that did it.....

[feministgetfit]

Meal plan for 8/16/15-8/16/29. This was my first stab at making any sort of meal plan using the 21 day fix containers. Also, I know it looks kind of repetitive, but that is how I eat. If I find something I like, I eat it until I can’t eat anymore, and then I switch. It also made planning really easy. I made the whole plan, but have to decide to do four days, and then reassess. 

[notsofitness]

Love this idea, so I am "stealing" it for when I get my fix stuff in.

[violettarainbow]

[notsofitness]

I just thought this was funny :)

[notsofitness]

My girl wants to party all the time

So I went to a birthday party today. Let me preface this by saying, I am still waiting on my 21 day fix stuff and have not yet started. I am trying to eat better in the meantime, though, so I was determined to do Okay tonight. So, I get there, and there were THREE cakes. Three cakes people!!! Cake 1: strawberry shortcake. This is my favorite so I ate it thinking, "this will be it, my favorite, I won't want anymore." Then.... Cake 2: it was a red, white, and blue cake. How American would I be if I didn't eat this cake?! I had to be a good citizen and eat a piece. Then..... Cake 3: death by chocolate. At this point I was feeling pretty bad and thought, "a little death won't hurt right now." Needless to say, the party did not go as planned. On the bright side, I am FULL of cake, and who doesn't love cake?

[notsofitness]

My First Confession

So, I want to be very open and honest in this blog. I cannot stay motivated if I lie. So, for my first truth, why I decided to start this whole journey again (I will try to leave the jokes aside, just for this post, eek!). The other day I was getting into the shower, and a glance in the mirror showed something I had never before seen. Stretch marks on the front of my belly. Now, before I go on, I know what a lot of you might be thinking, "this is body shaming", "doesn't this girl know anything about the tiger who earned her stripes?!" etc. Here is the thing, yes I have heard about that tiger, but I did not earn these stripes. I am not a mother, but a food addict. I am not trying to shame anyone with stretch marks. I have plenty of others, on my love handles, hips, thighs, and butt. But these belly marks, they are new, they are a sign of how much I, personally, have let my health go. A sign that I had given up. Last time I lost a lot of weight I gained stretch marks, (Yeah, don't ask me how). If I succeed this time, and gain ten times the number of marks on my belly, I will happily embrace those marks. Why? Those strips will be stripes that this tiger has earned.

[notsofitness]

21 day fix

So, after a rousing start, with no followers and no goals accomplished, I'm at it again. So this time I'm trying the 21 day fix with a group of fellow teachers (did I not mention I am a teacher? Surprise! I am!). So my goals, do the 21 days, and stick to this blog. For those of you wondering, my cruise was wonderful, my ever lazy friends and I did not participate in a tough mudder , and I am basically exactly where I started off. At least I am consistent right?

[notsofitness]

[notsofitness]

Tried this ab workout from Fitness Magazine’s “Best Abs Ever” issue today. Discovered I am not strong enough to do this and did planks and crunches instead.

[notsofitness]

Nothing makes you feel like a 90 year old woman quite like struggling to lift a ten pound weight.

[notsofitness]

This is a fun little number that some like to call "Super Green". It is a super healthy, plant based powder that is mixed into the liquid of your choice once a day. I discovered this in my "read about being fit" phase. 

Some recommendations for all you normal folks out there who aren't quite manly enough to just chug it:

1. If you are a first time drinker BEWARE. My first time trying it I naively mixed the "original" flavor with just water. I had a sip...well...actually it was more like half a sip, and vomited into the sink. It tastes like nothing I will even attempt to begin to describe, or old dead fish rotting on the sea shore.

2. Citrus (like orange juice) is a good option when drinking the stuff, and flavored versions are even more palatable.

 3. If at first you don't succeed, plug your nose. Before unplugging, gargle water in your mouth to rinse away any last remnants of the stuff.

I have personally found the greatest success with option 3. 

[notsofitness]

So it begins....

So, here it goes, my first real blog! Well, that is aside from a LiveJournal I had back in high school. That got one whole follower who wasn't a personal friend, so I have high hopes for this blog to do just as well. 

This is a blog about how I am trying my best to get into shape. I am not thin, and haven't been since the third grade, but I am doing my best for three reasons (listed in order of importance from least to greatest):

1. I am going on a cruise this summer and don't want to look back on those pictures and think "God, how did I let that happen?"

2. My friends convinced my that doing a Tough Mudder in the summer of 2015 would be a splendid idea. Especially for someone like me who hasn't run a full mile since third grade (it seems like third grade was really my year).

3. I want to be healthy. My dad suffered a heart attack, and I am scared to death of suffering the same fate (now shit is getting real).

So, here is what I have done so far on this journey:

1. Read about being fit.

2. Began cooking all natural meals.

3. Arranged to work out with a friend twice  a week.

4. Started this blog.

I'd say that is a semi-respectable start! If you want to see where I finish, feel free to follow. I will do my best not be a total suck fest.