Near-human means they can reproduce with humans and their offspring has a greater than 65% chance of being sexually viable. Humanoid typically means they may be able to reproduce together but the offspring have less than a 45% chance of sexual viability. Anything in-between is a gray area.
(I came up with this after watching Rebels because human-twi'lek reproductive compatibility was bugging me after too many days writing papers about biological anthropology. In case anyone's curious, Twi’leks are humanoid. Their offspring with humans has a less than 30% chance of sexual viability, and if they are sexually viable they might only be able to produce with either Twi’lek or humans, with a less than 8% (as in 8% of the 30% who aren't sterile, meaning only about 2% of surviving human-twi'lek mixed offspring) chance of being able to reproduce with both. Whichever they're able to reproduce with, their offspring has a better chance of being sexually viable than their parent, but infertility will continue to be a threat for at least 5 generations if reproducing with humans, 7 with twi’lek, possibly more for both.)
Noticeably stewjoni features:
Red hair
Cleft chin (cartilaginous mandibular fusion)
If not enough sunlight, a shade of pale that makes full humans a little uncomfy
Passes as human instead of near-human better with enough UV radiation
Something something correlates to pregnancy success; a diapause is more likely to go into effect and become a full pregnancy when a Stewjoni is fully human passing? Likely correlative, not causative; vitamin D-related.
Stewjoni have both ova and sperm (obviously; we gotta let the redheads fuck, them's the rules and i did not make them for once)
They have concealed ovulation but do experience some minor behavioral changes during ovulation, and many compatible species find them attractive during ovulation but aren't able to identify a particular reason why
Some limited behavior changes during ovulation:
More inclined to show teeth by grinning, eating with mouth open, etc
Desire to bite/chew things, especially soft things (fruit, steamed veggies, etc)
Increased appetite
Slight light sensitivity due to increased pupil dilation
Some smell and taste sensitivity
Some horniness but not unmanageable
Temperature raises sometimes as much as 2 degrees (usually 2-3 degrees cooler than humans; may match human temperature during ovulation and pregnancy)
Resting heart rate increases between 5-20 bpm for the duration of the ovulation period (based on the individual)
Experience estrous cycles around 40-50 days in length with 3-5 days of ovulation at the end of the cycle, rather than menstrual cycles; weight and temperature fluctuation throughout the month, but the uterine lining is reabsorbed rather than shed, with very minimal bleeding, usually at the beginning and/or end of ovulation
If living with unrelated stewjoni or humans, their estrous cycle may sync to match those around them (or the human’s menstrual cycle, though it will probably be 1 estrous to 2 menstrual in that case), but will not sync with related stewjoni or humans. Adoptive/found family is a tossup based on hormonal fluctuations and mirroring.
Ovulation can be induced off-cycle by biting (let me have me my psudoscience on this one) but most successful pregnancy occurs on-cycle
Embryonic diapause (faculatative); can be pregnant and not start growing the baby until conditions are favorable, to an extent; if conditions improve within on or two estrous cycles from impregnation of the ovum, chances are usually that the fertilized ovum will implant and begin to grow. Longest recorded diapaus was 3 estrous cycles (about 150 days)
Diapaused miscarriages (conditions do not improve and diapaused potential offspring does not attach) are either reabsorbed like the endometrium or expelled with the next ovulation
Later miscarriages (after attachment) are expelled with ovulation of a replacement egg at the end of an estrous cycle
Tendency toward cryptic pregnancies, though this can reduce after multiple term pregnancies
Stewjoni pregnancies are usually only about 43 galactic weeks (as opposed to full human 56 galactic weeks), but development evens out between humans and stewjoni around 4 galactic standard years old, since humans usually wean around 2 years old and stewjoni usually wean around 3, then
Stewjoni onset of puberty is usually between 12 and 15 years old compared to humans 8-13.
Stage 1: prepubescent, no signs of puberty
Stage 2: (around age 12-15) Secondary characteristics begin to develop based on hormonal mirroring; if the stewjoni child connected most with/spent more time around female presenting caretakers and peers of any species (but especially humans), they're more likely to develop breast buds; if male presenting caretakers and peers, more likely to develop adams apples. If no primary preference has been recognized hormonally, they’ll develop a mix. Pubic hair is universal. Estruarche may occur as early as stage 2, but is more common in stage 3.
Stage 3 (usually age 14-18): Pubic hair is thicker and darker, growth spurts begin.
Stage 4 (age 19-23): if the stewjoni is breasted, breasts will reach adult size. If they are bearded, final beard patterning and thickness is determined. All stewjoni experience penile enlargement at this stage, though the degree to which they do so tends to be opposite to breast size, likely due to human ancestry.
Stage 5: puberty completed. Usually happens for Stewjoni between ages 21-25, depending on genetic and environmental factors.
Stewjoni live slightly longer than humans; average human life span in the Galactic Republic is 90-115 years, Stewjoni typically live 100-130 years.
Human and Stewjoni blood is similar enough that they can act as emergency donors for one another, but a human receiving Stewjoni blood is more likely to have complications than a Stewjoni receiving human blood. This can be reduced by transfusing blood parts (stewjoni and human rbcs are more similar than stewjoni and human white blood cells or platelets) but is still a high enough risk that it's best avoided if other options are available.
Cartilaginous mandibular fusion; Stewjoni do better eating softer foods in general, though their mandible is fused enough to handle tougher foods when necessary; prolonged time on a tougher diet may result in jaw strain.
Omnivorous, but with slight frugivorous tendencies; higher fiber, vitamin C, folate, and potassium requirements than full and baseline humans. They've also developed both lower iron requirements and a higher threshold for (i.e. resistance to) hemochromatosis.
Lower threshold for vitamin D deficiency; they do better when they have the same amount as humans, but won't experience the same extent of consequences if they don't have as much. Stewjoni are highly resistant to rickets.
Extra premolars and no wisdom teeth
Whether they grow beards etc. is dependent on both genetic and environmental factors, i.e. Obi-Wan’s primary caretaker in his teen years had a beard, therefore Obi-Wan was statistically more likely to be able to grow a beard
Stewjoni and gender:
Stewjoni who spend lots of time around humans and other sexually dimorphic species, especially during their developmental years, tend to view themselves as belonging to whichever gender they physically mirror the most.
Because their hormones react to social behaviors and mirror nearby adult demonstrating survival behaviors, Stewjoni tend to physically appear more like whatever they felt like when they were in adolescence and onset of puberty. i.e. a Stewjoni "boy" might relate to and connect with male friends of a variety of species, identify with them, and therefore express more male-reading traits. A Stewjoni "girl" might have a lot of male friends and feel different from them, and therefore express more female-reading traits. Or either of these vice-versa. Regardless, their secondary sex characteristics are inherently built to blend in one way or the other, meaning they'll develop how their brain is most inclined to do. (quotes around boy and girl are intended to indicate that the Stewjoni physical and social experience of gender is not necessarily in line with what the IRL reader might experience or understand as gender due to their true evolutionary hermaphroditism as opposed to human bimodal sexual development)
Stewjoni raised on Stewjon don’t have the same concept of gender; their language has a single pronoun to refer to an individual, and uses relational pronouns to refer to a bearing parent and a contributing parent. They do have cultural role-referral pronouns, but those are used in role-relational conversation, not casually.
My throat isn't corporating and I have a headache and my chest is tight. I have a choice, that has no effect of consequences yet I feel like there is. Senior High is scary- especially when the school you applied to hadn't annouce their list of passing students. My backup SHS is already asking for thier requirements today- and its already 5 and it said before or on May 11 so- Im panicking- So Im ranting hahagaa Im loosing it.
Danny has many types of occupations throughout the fandom, from being a member of the JL or JLD to a humble engineer or café barista that wants to live a somewhat normal life. But what if we turn him into a janitor working at the prestigious Gotham Academy
…
Danny never would have thought he would end up being a janitor at an academy for rich kids in Gotham, a thought passed by as he mopped the floors diligently.
Despite his early years of being a vigilante, he hangs his cape the moment he noticed other heroes popping up as well as being able to fix the Infinite Realms. The JL members used to look for Phantom to offer their tillage and wisdom but when the Ghost King, himself, was able to have some sort of compromise between the humans and ghosts, Amity became a hotspot for the paranormal under the protection of the Ghost king when the Ecto acts had been destroyed in favor for the meta law.
Phantom disappeared, it was one running theory that he finally left to rest, or even that he became a permanent ghost knight for the king as some sort of knighthood for protecting both humans and ghosts during hard times.
The explosion in the Nasty Burger still happened but instead of having all of his loved ones die in that tragic fate, he managed to save his best friends as well his sister. Vlad tried to take them in as a way to show his good faith as well as to show remorse for the things he had done and now trying to make it up to the children. At first, the trio and sister are skeptical as both siblings are the last remnants of his beloved Maddie. But he had proved himself to be a better person despite his quirks, which is his obsession that turned into some sort of protection/obsession/love towards the people he considered family after their deaths.
Danny is now free to enjoy his remaining human life before he joins the afterlife permanently. As much as he wanted to go and join NASA in space, he couldn’t even pass the physical exam to join the program. So, he took his sister’s advice to enjoy his life to the last bit this world has to offer. Even if he still wasn’t crowned king, he started acting king as well as attending various lessons to become king. Vlad offered Danny to be his heir at his company but he refused stating that being a king is already hard work. Add to the fact he had a limitless and infinite amount of funds that he could simply travel the world as many times as he wanted as well splurge money as if it was candy he would still have infinite funds in his treasury. He had joined his now daughter to enjoy the wonders of the world as well visiting and touring to the endless worlds that connected to the Infinite realms. But once he had finished his travels, he had exponentially grown into a fine man in his late 30s. Gaining Jack’s height whilst Maddie’s built, he is a very definition of a twink.
But he wanted to lay low, something mundane, something that can keep him busy as he was itching to do something ever since he returned to his hometown. As much as he had grown, he is still having the mind of an impulsive teen in his teens and threw a dart in which state to settle in and took a computer generator to choose which job to do.
Gotham and the janitor were the ones that showed up and landed a dart in. He thinks it is perfect as not many would be looking into a janitor.
He packed up his things and applied for a job in Gotham Academy as a janitor and immediately settled in his small apartment in Crime Alley when he received approval for his new job.
…
It has been a week in his new job and he couldn’t be prouder than being able to blend in without the use of his powers. Messing up his hair to make his head a rat’s nest as well as adding some soot in his face, hands, arms, and overalls to make him look like a homeless who had got the job out of pure luck as he kept his back hunch like Clark Kent, Yes he is not slick in hiding in plain sight as he had gotten away in inverted colors but those glasses are not doing a great job.
This new school year he felt that there has been a new buzz in the atmosphere as real Blood Wayne is now attending. The real son of Bruce Wayne one of the rumors said, he had observed in the far at the kid and he looked like his father aside from his colors.
He noticed the kid is not comfortable around the others who tried to talk to him. Broke some spoiled kid’s nose for talking too much about being friends in the right sort. Some girls tried to get close to him by touching his shoulder or being too near his bubble and broke the poor girl’s wrist. Talked too formally and weirdly that he didn’t have any friends aside from Superman’s son, honestly that poor disguise is being passed from Superman to the son at least Bruce Wayne has the sense to have separate personalities from his playboy persona to his Batman persona.
Honestly, he couldn’t even blame the kid for the things he had done that landed him in the principal’s office.
…
One day when he was taking his lunch in a hidden place in the academy when the door suddenly slammed open and quickly entered the Blood Prince aka Damian Wayne, and immediately relaxed at the door being shut. He quickly looked alarmed at the stranger in the same room but after telling to Damian that he is the school’s janitor by showing his id to prove immediately and visibly relaxed. But to Danny’s eyes, he still looked ready to pounce at Danny for breathing wrong.
A small grumble of stomach destroyed the tension in the room, as Damian Al Ghul Wayne began to feel embarrassed for not only forgetting his lunch, not noticing the janitor, and even being cornered by kids who wish him harm. Damian still didn’t understand why his father had forbade him to fight anyone who are disrespectful to him, leaving him no choice but to run like a coward. The janitor that he had seen a few times around the academy offered him his sandwich which he tries to deny as he is vegetarian, the janitor Daniel, pulled out a vegetarian sandwich that he kept, as he explained that it became a habit of him when his friend who is also a vegetarian forgot their lunch.
Reluctantly Damian received and thanked the janitor and hesitantly took a bite but was surprised at the flavor of the generous amount of vegetables as well as some substitutes that gave so much flavor. Then Daniel, call him Danny he insisted, and offered him a small Tupperware filled with various fruits as dessert. Both began to chat about mindless things up until the bell rang as a reminder at lunchtime ended. Danny called out that Damian is always welcome at this little hidden place to escape or just have a quiet time by himself, Damian just nodded silently and the next day Damian appeared at the door and asked for Danny’s permission to enter the room which Danny laughed and gestured Damian to enter.
From that day on a bond formed between the two.
Damian would spend his lunch breaks and free time in the safety of the hidden room and he is always greeted by Danny still in his soot-filled overalls and messy and rat-like hair in a corner. As they both eat their respective lunches each day, slowly but surely Damian became open to the humble janitor, He would pop different questions starting with the mundane and normal questions and about the vocabulary of normal teenagers that his brothers use some absurd words that left him frustrated at the meaning nor the action behind it. Danny happily answered Damian’s question as Damian would come home each day becoming a real boy.
This made some of the Wayne kids horrified at who taught this demon spawn what yeet means. Some cackled at what could they do to further corrupt Damian. Damian let the rest of his supposed siblings come up with whatever theory on how he learned such vocabulary as it was, he and Danny’s little island of secret and peace at school, away from his imbeciles of brothers as well his noisy classmates.
…
Danny stared at the piece of an envelope as if it had offended him. Vlad asked him if he could be his plus one at the upcoming Wayne gala for another charity by Bruce Wayne and since Brucie Wayne was not getting younger he had thrown a masquerade ball as a theme in the said gala since it was nearing the Halloween season. Danny had thought about denying the invite but with the thought of Vlad rarely asking Danny things he reluctantly called Sam. Despite distancing herself from her surname she kept some of her connections during her teens and got Danny a good tailor for a suit that resembles during the Victorian era with the color scheme black and silver add a toxic green and silver mask which he crafted himself that goes well with his suit that covers his entire upper face leaving his mouth and hair visible.
When Vlad picked him up, he noticed that he got him got slacked jawed at Danny’s overall appearance. Maybe it is because he had straightened up his back and showed his real height, maybe it’s because of his tiny waist that is visible despite wearing a full vest and suit or maybe it is because of the mysterious air that Danny seemed to surround him with as he demands command and respect just standing silently as he let Vlad gawk and compare between the badger and feral little shit during his teenage years to the person sitting across the limousine looking like a noble right out of the Victorian era.
…
Bruce didn’t pick for tonight’s gala theme but due to Dick’s insistence that Damian never actually experienced a masquerade ball along with Jason’s persuasion to attend the gala so that he could live out his nerd self-made, Bruce made it real. Now all of his children are scattered and he could see Tim at the edge of the window the verge of passing out. Dick drags Damian to enjoy the theme while Jason is releasing his inner theater kid using the other higher population of Gotham as his supposed audience for his dramatics. Since no one can see which masked guests contain the Waynes made it is easier to ignore and evade both media as well the upper socialite of Gotham.
He was about to grab a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter when he fainted slipping to enter his Brucie persona when he was immediately grabbed from his waist as if to watch him.
As he is about to thank the man for catching him, he wasn’t about to slip, when he suddenly forgot how to talk.
A man a lot taller than Bruce himself has a slim build but Bruce could see some muscles that seem show themselves just for Bruce to see through, wearing a Victorian-style suit that seemed to complement the mask that covers the man’s entire upper face showing for Bruce to see a wolfish grin at him as a fluffy amount of hair rests on top of the man.
The man introduced himself as Nightgale and both men seemed to hit off. Both felt comfortable in each other’s company so they both escaped the main lobby that contains the guests as they both chat amicably at the porch without noticing the cold wind bothering the two. Bruce never once went into his Brucie persona nor he felt the man was lying.
Bruce was about to introduce himself when he heard the loud crashing of the window allowing Joker and his goons to enter the gala thus destroying the mood.
Bruce didn’t let it show but he is annoyed at the Joker’s timing as he tried to escape to change into Batman. Suddenly Nightgale grabbed him by the wrist and carried him outside bridal style, Bruce didn’t suddenly feel his heartbeat suddenly getting faster he didn’t feel his ears getting warmer as Nightgale seem to carry him out to safety, no he didn’t. Some goons tried to stop the two but Nightgale continued after he had quickly disposed of the goons that blocked their way. He didn’t feel his heart skip a beat at the fact that this man seemed to protect Bruce, the Batman like he was some princess in need of saving.
Both he and Nightgale suddenly found themselves in a hidden garden that only the Waynes knew of. Bruce didn’t feel his breath taken away by this mysterious man when he let Bruce onto his feet once again as the moon shines at them making Nightgale look so ethereal.
As soon as Nightgale heard the stroke of midnight he left Bruce after kissing the back of his hand as he kneeled in revelry.
Bruce didn’t freeze at the spot; Bruce didn’t get himself tranced at the event and had Alfred fetch him and drove him back to the manor. Bruce didn’t act like a girl in high school, squealing at having her crush notice her and ask her out as he sat behind the car back to the manor.
After teasing their father at his predicament, they are now invested in the man who seemingly took their father’s attention as well as able to develop some sort of crush on him at the gala. Jason is fully invested as he read too many novels and now sees Bruce as a main character in need of help to find his prince charming.
Danny is just minding his own business as he kept sneezing at random times and asked himself if the dead can get sick.
…
PS: If someone out there wanted to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so, don’t forget to tag me though.
When Batman got lost in time it was said that he made some signs or even some symbols that send a message in the future. For example, a portrait that looked exactly like him or even a cave painting of a bat that looked too modernized to be from the early cavemen.
But it seems that we have forgotten that every change that he made whether it was just standing in a portrait as a background has a severe consequence in the time stream. The butterfly effect rests on the notion that the world is deeply interconnected, such that one small occurrence can influence a much larger complex system. The effect is named after an allegory for chaos theory; it evokes the idea that a small butterfly flapping its wings could, hypothetically, cause a typhoon.
Small changes could result in another and entirely new timeline, whether the changes were small enough that people don’t notice or large enough that people merely conceived it as normal.
But at the end of the day it still changes, so how did the timeline remain stable as it is?
(I am no expert in time travel so don’t get your hopes up, I do enjoy a good time travel or time travel -fix it fic in A03)
…
Bruce didn’t know where and when he is right now. Still weak and disoriented from the consent way he fell from each timeline. One moment he could be in the middle of a group of cavemen and then he was at the edge of a town in the Middle Ages.
He kept sending messages subtle as they may be, as long as they survived the passage of time and arrived to his future. He just hopes that his teammates can see his messages, especially with the flash in their midst who had both knowledge and experience in time travel.
He tried to fit in every time he tried to send a message as the last thing, he needed was to change the time.
…
But little did Bruce know the little messages he kept making and sending, despite their subtleness still created a butterfly effect. It makes some of the people in the period who were supposed to be in time to some event pause and take a look at the mysterious symbols and signs that Bruce made. Thus, making them late or even have some delay, thus creating a large domino effect that started small. From insignificant people, people who are just literally background characters who just have a very short greeting or meeting with someone in the event made the entire timeline crack.
Clockwork was looking at the time stream due to the fragile situation at hand. CW knew that this event was crucial for the Red Robin’s growth as a detective and vigilante. But the small cracks are turning into something unchangeable, CW knew that this was the only communication that the Dark Knight could send as well it was his way to get back to his own time.
Yet CW can see the cracks getting larger and larger, with each move that the Dark Knight made creating more holes in his known future. Usually, such events as the Dark Knight's faces don’t create any consequences or even affect the time stream of the said dimension as it was meant to be. An event unavertable in the end is more justifiable than the means.
But due to the Flash family going back in time as well the countless time traveler visitors made the time stream in that dimension week and prone to break in any given time. It was just a surprise to CW that it lasted so long.
CW found a solution in the form of his apprentice/ grandson, Phantom. Despite the young ghost being an Ancient of Space as well as the King of Infinite Realms he still needs a mentor to not only guide him to his new duties as an Ancient but also his responsibilities as the future High King.
Space and Time are two sides of the same coin thus CW ended up being the mentor of the young Phantom.
Clockwork sent Danny to not only seal in the cracks in the flow of time but also want some great-grandchildren, if you heard the last part then you heard nothing from me.
…
Danny didn’t know he was getting in when Clockwork sent him out to another errand at another time. He should have gotten used to CW’s vague and cryptic errands through time when he was a teen, but as he was sealing another crack from time, he saw something that shouldn’t be in the period. A man clearly from out of time trying and failing to fit in, though he may have fooled the locals but he had been traveling and fixing time since he was in high school.
At first, he looked perplexed but if CW didn’t mention anything then he won’t do anything.
But slowly Danny realized that whichever period the guy was in, it was where the next set of cracks would be, so Danny decided to follow the guy.
…
Bruce may still be weary and tired from the constant falling through time but even in his tired state can see that there is someone following him.
Every era there that man was, seemingly walking around aimlessly but then he noticed that he kept a good distance away from him.
Eventually, it led to and confrontation between the two males.
…
Danny who explained that despite having the power to travel through time cannot help Bruce as his little messages are creating small cracks in the time stream and are merely there to seal up the cracks, but offers news that he will get back to his own time.
Bruce who is just wishing for human contact that relates to him as well in the verge of going off to the Flash to stop going back in time for another chance to eat a breakfast that tasted better than before.
…
The two began conversing with one another and slowly fell in love.
…
Bruce is the first one to fall hard, Danny whose light-heartedness brought Bruce out of his shell. It had only taken a few conversations with each other to lose his shield around his heart. Danny both accepted both Bruce and Batman within him. Danny’s smile lights up Bruce’s world, at first Bruce tries to hide his feelings to Danny so as not to lose his only companion throughout the ordeal.
…
The two began dancing around their feelings and Bruce in an out of character of him sent a love letter and a poem to Danny when the ghost was needed somewhere else to seal the crack.
As old as I am, I have had the most dreadful experiences in love. I have a very dark past and I'm a damaged soul. My past experiences have groomed me into believing that there's no such thing as true love, but with you, I feel different. You make me fall in love with myself too. You always make me smile, and I'm scared. I'm scared to fall in love and get broken again, I'm scared to give my all, only to be used again, to get shamed and embarrassed. I've seen how careful and caring you are around me, but sometimes you give me a cold shoulder, and it's small things like these that break me. Please bear with me and be fragile. I come from a very painful past where I had to be a woman and have no say. All this love and affection is a little scary to me because I'm not used to it. I'm falling for you and I'm falling hard. I hope our love story has a happy ending. Know that I will always love and cherish you.
(Mmakoma Kamogelo. "My Confession." Family Friend Poems, September 6, 2016. https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-confession-2)
Danny who received the letter burned red from reading the poem to the point his freckles were the only thing prominent on his red face, Danny knew that this man was from the future and couldn't help but feel a little bit insecure. That man, the Batman is someone out of his league but sends out a letter and a poem of his own.
Published by Family Friend Poems September 2016 with permission of the Author.
My love for you is uncontrollable.
My feelings for you are unstoppable.
Can't go a day without thinking about you.
Without you, I'm not complete.
With you, my heart finds its beat.
My heart is filled with joy because of your love.
You are my strength, and without you I'm weak.
Before you came into my life, I was
Hopeless, lonely, sad.
When you showed up, I knew that you were sent to me. (Namely CW, Danny just knew that old Ancient did something)
You are always here to support me.
Your smile makes me shy,
And sometimes I wonder where you have been all this while,
But I'm just glad that I managed to get you in my life...
YOU FILL MY HEART WITH JOY!
(Mmakoma Kamogelo. "My Confession." Family Friend Poems, September 6, 2016. https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-confession-2)
…
When the two realized both were pinning to one another began sending each other little love notes, in the form of short poems to full-blown letters.
Both males whenever received a letter when one was apart, collected and hid it in a box to reread each stroke of the letter from the other, and whenever they were together, they just spent the entire day basking in each other’s presence.
Their little note exchange didn’t stop whenever Bruce fell to another period, Danny just followed him and started a new exchange mail of letters.
Of course, both used pseudonyms in their letters ranging from initials to fake names using only the letters from their names.
…
When Bruce was saved by Red Robin, he felt relieved as he could now stop falling into another period but another shock as he didn’t get to say goodbye to Danny.
Bruce knew that someday it come, but he was going to offer Danny the future with him. He is going to offer Danny the world, but it seems that it was never meant to be.
Maybe that’s why his past self never met Danny, too disappointed, too dejected to meet him once again.
…
It has been a few months since he came back to his future, it was another family outing organized by Dick.
It was a museum featuring the latest found by archeologists, as Bruce was surveying case to another case, he fell upon a worn-out parchment with his handwriting.
Wide-eyed, Bruce looked closely at the exhibit and found that the description said the letter was about a man named “Brooks” confessing his love in the form of a short poem to a woman named “Daniella” who had the same feelings as him but had other responsibilities to fully go where he is.
Bruce began looking at the other exhibits and there along rows and rows of his letter exchange with Danny from different periods.
Jason and Tim who were a few cases away from him began having a heated discussion with a stranger about the supposed woman in the letters being a man the entire exchange is between a pair of male couple, and the so-called Historians are hiding the fact that it was between men.
Bruce was about to interfere with the upcoming verbal fight when a stranger beside him commented that “Daniella” probably missed “Brooks” as the last letter and poem to the exchange when “Daniella” noticed that “Brooks” is no longer responding is…
(By E.E. Cummings)
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
(E.E. Cummings. "[i Carry Your Heart With Me(i Carry It In]." Family Friend Poems, https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/i-carry-your-heart-with-me-by-ee-cummings)
Bruce is startled as he doesn’t even notice Danny’s last letter to him when he takes a good look at the stranger…
…
There he is, Danny in his early 30’s looking at him with softness and deep love in his eyes and a gentle smile. As if he hadn’t waited centuries for Bruce to appear once again, and what looked like willing to wait once again for him.
…
PS: If someone out there wanted to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so, don’t forget to tag me though.
PPS: As you can see, I have never fallen in love and please mind my poor and lack of love life in my life to relate to my work.
PPPS: I decided to post a bit early, I've got something going on to the actual February 14.
I want one of the batkids to point out how the handwriting for each letter looks very similar to bruces. And Bruce just internally screaming and blushing.
(This screen cap was snagged by someone on Reddit, by the way!)
I've posted before about the million questions I started thinking up after being introduced to the idea of will-o-wisps/aarnivalkea/lantern fae in Genshin, and I honestly cannot lie: Looking at magical creatures with a "scientific" view is like catnip to me, really one of my favorite things in the world, so over the months since Nod-Krai launched, I've been coming up with all these different headcanons and thoughts about how aarnivalkea would work if we approached them from a "realistic" standpoint, and now the draft post has gotten so stupidly long that if I don't stop myself here, I'll hit tumblr's word limit I think...
So at the risk of revealing that I am past the point of normal about this, I'm just going to post it! It's my blog, I can be cringe on main if I want to. Please be aware the rest of this post is a very, very, very self-indulgent (you have been warned!) take on Genshin's "aarnivalkea," based on the canon lore we know and also just on things I've entirely made up for pure love of the game. All of this might get jossed tomorrow, but that's a problem for tomorrow's Star!
Be on the lookout for VarFlins content too, if that's not your cup of tea.
Anyway, here we go, Star's "lantern fae" headcanons:
1) Yes, aarnivalkea are made of flame, but it's certainly more magical than the everyday sense of "combustion reaction that burns to the touch." Aarnivalkea are closer to something like St. Elmo's Fire or rapid light emissions from spontaneous combustion (they were created in part with the power of the Light Realm/angels, so they're just as much "light" as "flame"). In essence, they burn what they need to and only what they need to, so if the aarnivalkea permits it, their flames are perfectly safe to handle and can even be cupped in your hands without issue.
2) Doesn't mean they can't heat up real quick though. In terms of literal fire power, aarnivalkea can reach temperatures rivaling pure phlogiston, and their explosive power--if unchecked--can ignite extremely fast-moving blazes that leave nothing but ash in their wake. It's for the best that most of them aren't interested in causing widespread trouble, because they'd basically be walking natural disasters otherwise.
3) Even though they may end up being one of the common types of fae in Snezhnaya, I feel like humans running into aarnivalkea out of nowhere would still be somewhat uncommon. For one, they just tend to keep to themselves by nature, but also, second, I think they may have been more directly affected by modernization than other types of fae--as humans grew in number and fae were increasingly expected to just blend in, there was less space and acceptance of the more "monstrous" looking fae who didn't seem as easy to relate to or approach.
4) Their "human forms" are basically smoke and mirrors--they're projections of energy solid enough to make contact with physical objects, but not actually functional, biological bodies. Basically, their human forms are closer to an illusion than to a shapeshift. Although they can control their human projections gracefully enough, for movements that require very fine motor control, the gestures are actually made psychically by their hidden fire forms. For example, this is why, during combat when the illusion breaks, we can actually see that it's Flins's lamp/fire form controlling his spear--it looks like the human body is doing that work, but it's actually the fire underneath all along.
This is also not my screen cap, it was taken by valerhine on twitter.
(Side note: This is also why the highlights in Flins's eyes are coming from the bottom of his irises--because the light making his eyes glint is coming from inside, not an external source. It's literally the light of his lantern shining through the projection of his "human" eyes.)
5) Because their human forms are just projections, not a natural, physical shapeshift, will-o-wisps don't have a biological sex. (This is unlike other fae, whose forms are animal-based/organic.) Before contact with humans, the aarnivalkea also mostly did not have the concept of gender, and just lived as androgynous beings. There's no "girl fire" or "boy fire." But if Genshin were a Disney movie, there would be, and the girl fire would have boobs despite not even being a mammal.
6) However, as time went by and they needed to align more often with the expectations of society (both other fae, who have biological sexes, and particularly with humans), more aarnivalkea began to create "human" forms for themselves, and when doing so, many of them picked a gender just for convenience's sake, to help them fit in with more worldly beings. Because this gender presentation is something they just choose for themselves, they can also change their gender if desired over time. Some become attached to their chosen gender, others only keep up the illusion because it helps ease their way in modern life, and some still elect to stay as "none of the above" and maintain androgynous appearances even when creating human forms for themselves.
7) Flins chose to present as male because when he first began encountering humans, the majority of the humans he met (soldiers on the tundra) were male, and he just unconsciously mirrored them. On the daily, he doesn't particularly think of himself as "a man" (he's just "a flame"), but he's also never really been interested in changing up his human form's presentation either. He picked an appearance he liked right from the start, so he's been fine with going by "he" and sticking with his male form over the years.
(Side note: Names in old fae speech did not used to be so clearly gendered, so aarnivalkea originally had less issue of mismatch between their given names and their presentations; however, in modern Snezhnayan, names are typically gendered, with some names being quite masculine and others feminine. Aarnivalkea address this issue in multiple ways: 1) Unisex names are more common among aarnivalkea than other types of fae, 2) Names that do not match one's gender presentation are also more common among the aarnivalkea [there are "Nikolai"s who present as stunning women and "Radmila"s who are gorgeous dudes], and 3) Some aarnivalkea change from their birth names later when they settle on what gender they'd actually like to present as.)
8) Because aarnivalkea's human appearances are created by themselves, they're also in control of each aspect of the appearance down to the minor details. This is why Flins doesn't have elf ears or other obvious "fae" traits, because he deliberately created a form that would look human. Aarnivalkea designing their human forms can pick whether to be tall or short, muscled or slender, long-haired or short-haired, etc. In the days of the old fae court, the appearance you created for your human form was a real status symbol, so fae were always trying to out do each other in the looks department.
9) Flins actually tried really hard to make his human form look convincingly human because he wanted to blend in, and he mostly nailed it... Except for forgetting that humans are supposed to have pupils. However, the humans he was with at the time he first changed his form were happy to accept him as-is, and never pointed out the flaw in his appearance, so it wasn't until much later that Flins noticed his obvious mistake. (By that time, he'd gotten too tired of the world to even bother with making a change.)
10) Also because aarnivalkea's human appearances are projections more than real, biological forms, they tend not to emote as much as humans (or even other fae whose transformations are physical). Aarnivalkea experience emotions just as intensely as (perhaps even more intensely than) humans, but in their natural flames forms, they just don't have the facial muscles than human beings have, so big smiles, scowls, wrinkling eyebrows, etc. don't come instinctively to them. Flins has worked hard to learn what human facial gestures correspond to which emotions, but he still doesn't have the most expressive face, which can be unsettling for those who have never met aarnivalkea before.
11) This doesn't mean aarnivalkea aren't expressive in their natural forms though. In fact, their flame bodies are extremely expressive--when they're happy, their flames leap and pop; when they're tired or feeling down, the flames are tiny, banked, and barely moving... Sometimes when they get excited, their flames can barely be contained, flitting all over in the air. One of the reasons Flins avoids spending too much time in his natural form, even around the humans who know his secret, is that it's pretty difficult to disguise your real thoughts when they're reflected in every twist and flicker of your flames.
12) One other last little headcanon about expressiveness and aarnivalkea: Normally, their flames are fairly quiet. They can project their spoken voices magically even while in their true forms, but if they're not speaking, their flames mostly make a fairly quiet rushing/hissing noise, and when in their human forms, you can only hear the sound of an aarnivalkea's flames by pressing your ear to their "chest" (they have the ruffly hum of rolling heat instead of a heartbeat)--but when an aarnivalkea gets very worked-up or is fed a large amount of fuel (like oil or alcohol), even in their human form it's hard for them to suppress the crackling and popping sounds of their excited flames. Flins sometimes just has to excuse himself when he gets particularly pleased because humans start subconsciously getting nervous, feeling like they're hearing a fire burning somewhere unseen...
13) And speaking of burning--it's a somewhat embarrassing truth, but aarnivalkea smell exactly like whatever they're burning for fuel. If they're consuming wood for fuel, they have a pleasant, smoky campfire smell. If they're using oils, they may smell like burning kerosene. For this reason, even though it can make for a bit of extra ash to clean up, a lot of aarnivalkea will consume commercial incense, spices, or aromatic herbs, as a sort of flameborn "perfume." Flins used to smell like lamp oil and cooking scents from doing things like smoking fish with his flame (which is fine because that's basically what all the other Lightkeepers smell like too!), but since the Knights of Favonius have come to town, he mostly smells like fire-water. Poor Illuga is starting to worry that Flins has taken to drinking on the job...
14) By the way, this is the reason that animals naturally fear aarnivalkea--it's not because they sense an ominous presence or anything, but because to animals, aarnivalkea literally just smell like wildfires. All animals instinctively know to flee from flames, so animals by nature avoid the potential wildfire threat that aarnivalkea represent.
15) However, it should be noted that aarnivalkea are omnivorous and can and will hunt living creatures if absolutely no other food source is available, so it's not like animals have no reason to fear. Will-o-wisps are less predatory than other types of fae like say, the volkodlak, but their hunting tends to be particularly horrifying to watch (those that aren't part of civilized society literally just cook their prey alive), so it's not really much of a surprise that animals with decent awareness keep a far, far distance.
16) Regarding the appearance of their "true forms," an aarnivalkea's flame color is a hereditary trait. Flames in blue and purple shades used to be the most common, but aarnivalkea can come in a variety of colors like red, white, and gold. Family lines tending to pass down their color variations over generations, but the percentage of blue flames in Snezhnayan aarnivalkea has been declining over time due to the exile or decline of older families that had political allegiances to the prior Tsar.
17) Aarnivalkea can also temporarily change their color in response to external stimuli. For example, a blue aarnivalkea may suddenly burn red as a threat display to potential enemies, while a red aarnivalkea may "heat up" to blue if cornered or angered. Usually if your aarnivalkea is changing color on you, it's a bad sign.
18) One reason the aarnivalkea don't have as much presence in history or Snezhnaya's current civic environment as other categories of fae is that they don't group themselves into collective clans or communities as much other types of fae. They can form nuclear families, but there is no larger "tribe" of will-o-wisps all working and living in close proximity. Being solitary tends to run in their nature.
19) Politically, because the aarnivalkea don't form clans or collectively work together for power, they tend not to be aggressive about climbing the social or political ladders in Snezhnaya. Members of the aarnivalkea fae may have been promoted to general aristocracy and owned land in the past, but they tended to lack the strong social networks needed to accumulate larger amounts of political clout.
20) In fact, there are entire swaths of the aarnivalkea who traditionally avoided contact entirely. Over the centuries, aarnivalkea have essentially divided themselves into two camps: A more "wild" type that has always chosen to live apart from society, avoiding too much interaction with both humans and other fae, and an almost "domestic" type, which instead chooses to live together in harmony with modern society and particularly with humans.
21) Still to this day, purely wild aarnivalkea can be found living out in nature. Snezhnayans may occasionally run into one while lost on the snow plains or deep in untouched woods, or even in the rare bogs still left in Snezhnaya's backlands. This type of aarnivalkea doesn't keep any form of habitation at all, and they just appear as small "naked" balls of flame, dancing across the frozen landscapes. (This is the type that aligns with our "real world" will-o-wisp myths.)
22) There's about a 50/50 chance of safety when it comes to these wild aarnivalkea. Some are benign and are willing to help lost travelers get home (or, like seelie, may even lead people to lost treasures). However, many others keep themselves remote from human society on purpose or may even be actively malicious to humans, intentionally leading them astray into danger or death from exposure to the elements. Good luck figuring out whether you've run into a nice one or a threat!
23) Domestic aarnivalkea, on the other hand, are aarnivalkea that decided to live in closer conjunction with humans. This type typically chooses to inhabit human-made objects, particularly household items like lanterns, stoves, or hearths. (Think Calcifer living in Howl's fireplace lol.)
24) Domestic aarnivalkea tend to become very closely attached to specific human families; almost like Brownies, they will move into a human house or a small village and watch over the humans living there. This type of aarnivalkea enjoys being helpful, and will provide their light and flame as tools for their favored humans.
25) In modern-day Snezhnaya, some domestic aarnivalkea have adapted to the new social structure by joining industrial fields, such as allowing humans to use their flames in forges, for smelting or welding, to power coal-burning trains, or even in other career fields such as cooking--by literally inhabiting the cooking stoves.
26) It's just a completely personal headcanon/delusion of mine that Flins used to live as a "wild" aarnivalkea out on the tundra in Snezhnaya and he did not originally interact with humans (and maybe even other fae) much, until one occasion when he stumbled across a dangerously lost company of soldiers at risk in a blizzard. After leading them to safety in the form of a little blue flame, despite not looking human at all, they welcomed him to wait out the blizzard with them at their camp. Listening to the humans joking, sharing drinks, and playing cards around their fire was a new experience for Flins, and he was surprised when their leader ultimately asked him to stay with their unit to help them safely complete their service out on the ice fields. Flins was reluctant at first, but was ultimately persuaded by his worry that the humans would die without a light to guide them through white-outs and ice storms. Finally, he took up residence in the captain's lantern to be the group's guardian, and that has been the lantern he's lived in ever since.
27) But it didn't matter in the end. It didn't matter how much he came to love them, how wonderful it was to sit beneath the icy stars swapping stories and laughter long into the nights--they all died anyway. Flins couldn't stop the creeping spread of the Abyss nor the in-endless march of Snezhnaya's political wars, and humans are so fragile. What worth was the invitation to the court he'd received as commendation for his efforts, if no one was left to share the honor with him? All he could do was guide the fallen to rest, while the heroic legend of "Kyryll the Azure Flame who leads lost souls on the snow plains" became further and further removed from the tragic truth.
28) Speaking of guiding lost souls: All varieties of aarnivalkea are extremely sensitive to the ley lines and are therefore capable of serving as natural psychopomps; not all of them choose to actively do it, but they can all see and lead lingering human souls to rest in the ley lines if they want.
29) Both wild and domestic aarnivalkea can get along with other types of fae (for example, an aarnivalkea and a domovoy could inhabit the same house), but they are territorial against fellow aarnivalkea. (I admit it, the idea of a couple of lanterns squabbling with each other is just really, really funny.) Aarnivalkea each stake out their own territory (somewhere around five square kilometers is the most comfortable for them) and they closely guard that turf. Beyond their partners and children, they're not keen on sharing their space with other aarnivalkea, and even then, many partners will just end up with neighboring territories, rather than closely sharing space all the time. (I think of this like birds of prey who, even if they mate for life, often roost separately when they're not actively raising chicks.)
30) Wild aarnivalkea are actually more likely to form nuclear families than domestic aarnivalkea are; there's environmental advantages to having a partner (or two) around when you live exposed to a harsh climate. Meanwhile, although domestic aarnivalkea can form families and do raise their children together, these groups tend not to be as closely-knit as the human term "family" implies, because domestic aarnivalkea tend to become much more attached and attentive to the humans they're watching over than focusing on any of their fellow fae. They will pick the humans they have bonded with over other aarnivalkea every time, if push comes to shove.
31) In fact, in prior centuries before the fae courts became as "civilized," there used to be pretty ferocious fights between aarnivalkea over territory, and it wasn't extremely uncommon for bystanders to accidentally become blinded after witnessing aarnivalkea's territorial displays, aggressively attempting to outshine or out-burn each other. This is a technique they can still use today, like when Flins used his light to attempt to blind Rerir to distract him.
(Side Note: Nowadays, the fae want to be perceived as less barbaric, so territorial disputes are no longer settled by active violence; instead, if an aarnivalkea happens to find another aarnivalkea trying to muscle in on their turf without permission, they might engage in a very polite but very passive aggressive Social Cold War to make it as uncomfortable as possible for the new aarnivalkea to stay in town. The worst neighbor in all of Teyvat is an aarnivalkea that wants you gone. Your post will be burned to dust in your mailbox. Your grass will be so dry it cracks when you walk on it. You know those fuckass LED high beams on trucks nowadays? Imagine that shining through your window every time you so much as close your eyes. You will know no peace.)
32) But the best neighbor in the world is an aarnivalkea that wants to keep you! :D Especially in the early days when humans were first being welcomed to Snezhnaya, those aarnivalkea that decided to live in the fiefs became notorious for attempting to "steal" each other's mortals, sneaking into each other's territories to literally lead whole families of humans away into the night. Even in the modern day, when it's considered entirely inappropriate to squabble over humans like they're toys, domestic aarnivalkea do easily become possessive over the humans they perceive to be under their protection.
33) Flins is a consummate gentleman and likes to think he's above all this instinctive behavior, but he's not really. Although he tries not to stake too much of a claim on the Lightkeepers as a whole because of how high their mortality rate is, he definitely perceives Nikita, Illuga, and even the spirits at the Final Night Cemetery as belonging to him, and because of this, he takes some liberties that he knows (and frankly doesn't care) are completely socially unacceptable to humans, like periodically lurking in Nikita and Illuga's houses to check in on them while they sleep. Illuga thankfully mostly hasn't noticed ("Huh, it's kind of weird that my sleep paralysis demon looks so much like Flins"), but Nikita is just used to it by now and has decided that the best way to handle Flins's proprietary nature is to be equally fussy right back at him--Flins is going to get that damn dog, whether he wants one or not.
34) Okay, and some family/romance headcanons because I can't resist: In terms of children, I don't think the aarnivalkea abandon their young to fend for themselves or anything, but I do think young aarnivalkea become independent from their parents more quickly than human children do. After just a few years, they are probably already capable of living on their own. I would imagine that most young flames are restless and eager to strike out to find their own territories relatively quickly. (I think of this the way ducklings hatch out of the eggshell already ready to swim and forage on their own--they still stay with their parents for a bit, but if need be, they at least have basic survival instincts right from the start.)
35) Although human babies are adorable, so baby-fire-turned-into-baby-human would be equally adorable, I think it would make more sense that most aarnivalkea children don't take human forms until they're old enough to conceptualize of designing, projecting, and psychically moving such a body for themselves. They probably have to develop a fairly sophisticated level of self-awareness and personal identity first. I'd guess that most of them don't take a human form until they're the mental equivalent of human teenagers, and some take even longer than that. Flins was already an adult when he took a human form for the first time.
36) This is entirely my own personal belief, just based on what seems scientifically sound, but in terms of partners, realistically I don't think that will-o-wisps (being made of just flame), have the same biological concept of sex as humans or more earthly types of fae would have. Just like it doesn't make much sense to me that living fire would have gender, it doesn't make any more sense to me that a ball of flame would have genitalia. I'm just saying, the "girl fire" shouldn't have boobs! 🤣Theoretically aarnivalkea might be able to engage in sex using their human forms, but just like physically eating and drinking in their human forms seems to produce a straightforward "physical sensation" without the positive side effects, I think that sex in the human sense is something an aarnivalkea might do for their partner's benefit (if partnered with someone who isn't an aarnivalkea), but they probably wouldn't get much out of it themselves.
37) Instead I would assume the aarnivalkea's definition of sex is much closer aligned to an exchange of energy--intertwinig your essence and flame with another's down to the core of your ash and magic, consuming the same air to burn together, the shifting blend of colors and light... Basically, I think they have soul sex instead. 🤣
38) This is totally not an excuse because I want to read a fic where Varka realizes Flins was absolutely planning to fake enjoying human sex just to make Varka happy and then Varka is like "No way in hell; if you're not into that kind of thing we just won't do it. But wait, does that mean your kind of folks don't have a way of--" and Flins is like "Well, we could try," and then gives Varka the most mind-blowning souls-deep elemental-energies-intertwining magical orgasm ever; like Varka is feeling that shit down to the ley lines. ("Holy Barbatos--" "Please leave me out of this.")
39) Also because I think the tiny flame babies must be very cute, some fire-starter headcanons: I think that (just like everything else) reproduction for aarnivalkea is less of a biological process and more of a ritual. If partners want to make a child, there's a deliberate, step-by-step process: One partner will collect "tinder" and pour their power and essence into it, to make it into sufficient fuel to keep a new flame alive, and then the other partner will provide the "spark" to ignite the tinder and actually start off the new little flame. (Yes, "the tinder and the spark" is the aarnivalkea equivalent of "the birds and the bees" and they do hit their kids up with the "when one fire really likes another fire" analogies. 🤣) Okay, back to treating this crack seriously: It's a somewhat laborious and time-consuming process, especially for the partner who creates the initial tinder, as it takes a huge amount of elemental energy to infuse fuel enough to sustain the creation of a flameborn fae.
40) The aarnivalkea's gender presentation has nothing to do with what role they take in their reproduction ritual; either parent can infuse the tinder or offer the spark. (Perhaps its even possible for an aarnivalkea to have more than two parents, if two or more aarnivalkea infused the tinder in perfectly equal amounts. Hmm, a thought for those into poly ships.)
41) Snezhnaya uses patronymics, but aarnivalkea don't have clear "mothers" or "fathers," so the new parents just decide amongst themselves whose name the child will inherit. Usually this is just based on what names flow best, but the proclivity of aarnivalkea to end up with matronymics instead of patronymics can be confusing even to other fae.
42) Partners will care for their new baby-flame together, keeping it fed with fuel until they're sure it can burn on its own, but in general, they're a bit "hands off" compared to some other types of fae like the volkodlak who have more protective parenting styles. (Well, aarnivalkea are still better than yet other fae who used to just dump their children on humans and run, right?)
43) When left to their natural devices, Aarnivalkea parents focus on teaching their children everything little balls of flame need to know to survive in the world, and then kind of hit the "Okay, best of luck out there; don't forget to send word from time to time." Even domestic aarnivalkea can be like this, which is extremely confusing for the humans who know them, because the aarnivalkea can form very close and even very traditionally parental relationships with mortals they want to protect, but with their own young, they just don't see the need to hover or be unnecessarily sentimental. (That is, Flins would fuss over Illuga, a fragile human, much more than he'd fuss over a child aarnivalkea. One of those two is breakable and the other has no bones. D;)
44) Basically what I'm saying is that Flins is the "It's fine to let them roam outside after dark; if something happens, they can shout" parent. The "Sugar before bed gives you cavities but aarnivalkea don't have teeth, so sure, have as many krumkakes as you want" parent. 😂 Of course he would love and safeguard any child of his own, but he also has a perfectly realistic sense of how hardy the aarnivalkea actually are, so he'd be rather nonchalant in the face of scrapes, tussles with wild animals, and (the real threat:) unexpected dunkings into water. Varka has no room to talk because he was a wild child that ran with wolves as a kid but "Flins are you sure that it's safe for our child--who is a ball of flame--to play with the hydro eidolons?"
45) Okay, but putting a damper on my own delusions: Also just realistically speaking, I doubt there are many (if any) "half aarnivalkea" out there in the world. Other types of fae that are more biological might be able to mix with each other and even with humans, but the aarnivalkea's "living flame" existence is so antithetical to physical, tangible bodies that it seems unlikely they'd be capable of siring or bearing a "flesh and blood" child of any kind. (Like, with what DNA would they even create an egg cell?) I think they're just fundamentally incompatible with biological entities. They might be able to hybridize with other elementally-aligned existences though; like could living flame and living electricity feasibly make a half-flame, half-electro baby??? I'm asking important questions here... Unrealistically speaking, the fact that aarnivalkea are unlikely to be able to hybridize has no bearing on my willingness to read fics where Flins gets a baby, because that's shit's cute, so I'll eat it up every time.
46) Okay, okay, back to some less-obviously-ship-tinged headcanons: Flins is sort of lying when he says he doesn't eat much--what he actually means is that aarnivalkea live simply by burning, so whatever burns is sufficient fuel for them. Aarnivalkea are not limited to just the things that humans might call food; anything flammable works. Flins could stuff little wood chips into his lantern and live off that if he had to. But most aarnivalkea like to keep themselves tidy by nature, and so they of course prefer fuels that burn cleanly, which can be more easily combusted and create less soot, smoke, and scent. That's why Flins is fond of high-proof alcohols, as they easily evaporate without too much residue. However, Flins can "eat" other things (by simply burning them to cinders), so he does fish and hunt and can use the food provided by the Lightkeepers if need be; physical foodstuffs are just a bit less efficient in terms of fuel-to-effort ratio, and poor-quality fuels that leave behind a lot of carbon are annoying to deal with in one's lantern.
47) Flins is definitely lying about the lamp oil being for the lighthouse. (That's not even an oil lamp at the top of the cemetery lighthouse, and even if it was, that lighthouse wasn't functioning at all until the Traveler fixed it; so why is anyone buying Flins's lies? lol) He just thinks humans would find it weird to know he mostly lives off lamp oil, so he's very quick to always say that's just normal supplies, thank you.
48) Aarnivalkea are tough and can burn for a sustained period even on the barest amounts of fuel, so they certainly can go without sustenance much longer than humans, but when doing so, they tend to enter into a torpor state where they don't like to move around much or exert power; if they want to stay active, they do need some form of fuel supply at fairly regular intervals.
49) Aarnivalkea also do sleep. Just like with food, they can go without sleep for much longer than humans can, but it is still a need for them. Flins looks the way he does (glaring raccoon-level eye bags and red-rims) in large part because he's had massive insomnia since his awakening in Nod-Krai, and frankly, he's at the point in life where the whole world deserves to know how tired of its bullshit he is.
The face of a man who wears his fatigue like teen girls wear Sephora.
50) Sleeping aarnivalkea look like the the last vestiges of hearth or campfires--banked fire, slowly flickering. They become small and cute little flames when sleeping~!
Thanks Shutterstock for this random little flame photo lol.
51) Aarnivalkea are almost strictly nocturnal by nature, but they can (begrudgingly) adjust to those around them, especially domestic aarnivalkea who have attached themselves to humans. Still, they tend read as: Flins tends to be a bit more sluggish in the mornings and especially at mid-day when the sun is at its zenith. Aarnivalkea are at their best when they are the brightest thing on the horizon; competing with the sun is no fun. For Flins, being a Lightkeeper works out very well, since the nightly patrols line up easily with his natural inclination, and being up all night patrolling is a convenient excuse for not going out much during the day.
Okay, this is getting sooo massively long now, so just a last few headcanons about how habitation works for aarnivalkea:
52) First, despite liking to keep themselves clean, neither wild nor domestic aarnivalkea are fussy about their exterior living conditions; even the fanciest among them would choose a dark corner over a brightly lit ballroom. Those that live with humans will help keep their humans' houses in decent shape, of course, but when left to their own devices, they tend to end up roosting in quiet, dank, often abandoned locales, and so long as those sites stay standing enough to cover them in a storm, they don't have much care for whether or not their "outside" locations are in good repair or look tidy and fit for guests. Even those aarnivalkea who have impeccable manners otherwise just don't really fret over details like that--outside is "outside" and it has no reflection on the aarnivalkea themself (in their minds--don't tell them that you're judging them, okay? They'll be hurt).
53) Basically, Flins may dress himself beautifully and color coordinate his jewels to his coat, but his "house" is always just going to be kind of a wreck. Aarnivalkea do not do banal things like dusting. If it got too moldy, Flins'd probably take all the flammable materials outside for an airing and then just light his place up to cleanse it with a baptism of fire. (It's quick and gets the job done well enough, doesn't it? The lighthouse is made of metal, what's the problem?)
54) For domestic aarnivalkea though, the household object that they have personally chosen to inhabit is a completely different story. Not every domestic aarnivalkea inhabits a lantern, but it's a fairly common item for them to pick, and those that pick small and damageable habitations like lanterns tend to be very fussy over their "homes." Knicks and scratches might tell interesting stories when it comes to old gems and coins, but on one's own habitation? Have a bit of pride, at least! Aarnivalkea who pick lanterns, like Flins, take very good care of their lamps, keeping their glass clean, their metal shiny, and their vents free of soot at all times.
55) The items that domestic aarnivalkea choose to inhabit often have sentimental value for them--they may have been the lantern or the candlestick once used by a favored human, or the hearth where the aarnivalkea sat and watched generations of their chosen family grow up and grow old. Domestic aarnivalkea will usually not "move out" unless their previous object or habitation is destroyed completely beyond repair; they do get very attached to objects.
56) And speaking of, my last headcanon (for now, before the game dumps a fresh batch of lore on us!!): Speaking of objects, despite not having much of a solid form themselves, and not really having the means to store things easily on their "person," aarnivalkea of both varieties (wild and domestic alike) tend to be hoarders. They have magpie tendencies down to their nonexistent little liquid-fire bones. They particularly like things that shine in their fire light, so gems, glass, crystal, metals, and such reflective items are common and popular treasures for them to collect.
57) Of course aarnivalkea are thinking, feeling beings with logic in whatever qualifies as the head of a sentient ball of fire, so you can't just buy your way into their good graces with pretty baubles, but... like... It's a known weak spot. You can definitely buy yourself at least part of the way there with pretty baubles. Many an aarnivalkea has won themself a partner by showing off a really cool rock. Don't lie, you'd probably fall for cool rocks too.
58) In the heyday of the fae courts, aarnivalkea were definitely some of the snappiest dressers, wearing brilliant gems and then deliberately letting some of their light shine through their human forms, to ensure their jewelry sparkled from every angle, in every movement. Even though Flins preferred to keep to himself at the edges of the ballrooms, he wasn't immune to doing this either, and it became somewhat well-known that if you were looking to learn where to acquire new jewels yourself, the real person to talk to was the quietly glimmering man on the outskirts of the parties.
59) Okay, last thing for real: Because aarnivalkea are attached to their treasures, of course being invited to see or touch an aarnivalkea's collection is a massive honor and a deep sign of trust.
60) The highest form of flameborn flattery is an aarnivalkea telling you they trust you to try on pieces of their hoard, and it's an even bigger honor for them to start off-loading items onto you for "safekeeping." You might think your strange hoarder friend has just hit the point where their stuffed-to-the-brim house can't fit a single new object, but this is actually your local will-o-wisp telling you that you are their absolute favorite and that their treasure hoard should definitely extend to your house too because the world's finest treasures should stick together, shouldn't they? (Flins is very smooth about it. Very smooth.)
Anywayyyyyy, I already rambled for a ridiculous length of time, so that's all for the moment! (Well, I wanted to say stuff about fae being created as tools, rather than people, by the ancient Hyperboreans, and aarnivalkea having a natural instinct to lead, butttttt I'm out of energy now lol.) I'm just waiting until the next batch of fae lore gives me a billion new ideas to mull over from here on out!
So imagine, Gotham Academy is hosting a battle of the bands to fundraise for a debilitating rogue attack (even though the Wayne money could easily cover it all, but the academy wants to show its city spirit or smth anyways)
and normally, Jon would just shrug it off, rich people stuff you know. but there's this new kid at school. he's sickly looking, with shaggy shoulder length hair, and piercing blue eyes. and he's been getting too close to damian.
this guy is totally not good enough for damian. he barely even tries in his classes and he takes everything said to him as a stupid joke! Damian is way out of his league. and NO, jon is not jealous KON. he simply knows what his best friend likes!! Just like he knows that the new kid (danny feltin? or something) is not and will never be good enough for Damian! in fact, Jon would be the better choice
back to the battle of the bands. like he said, jon would have ignored it. IF he hadn't found out that Danny would also be competing. AND, if he hadn't found out that damian would be one of the judges, as it was being sponsored by wayne co. and they needed a student judge.
so with gritted teeth, jon signs up, putting his name right next to danny's!
only to learn that the tournament enforced the anonymity of the performers to encourage more people to sign up, and the only way to be allowed to reveal his identity was to either wait for the tournament to end OR make it into the semi-finals (something platforming young artists).
well he cant quit now, forget the semi-finals.. jon would be first place! he'd prove that he could be better than danny! HE'S NOT JEALOUS SHUT UP KON
on the flip side. . .
danny wasnt really enthused about being dragged halfway across the country to go to an embarassingly rich kid school, but Ember had said that Gotham generated enough ectoplasm on its own that danny wouldn't need frequent trips to the ghost zone in risk of his ghostly side taking over and almost killing him (being in and out of the yeti's domain was tiring, and he could never hate frostbite but seeing the yeti's face drop everytime he had to be brought back to life -literally- does something to a guy y'know?)
anyways, ember said he just had to deal with it until he graduated and by then hopefully his core would be stable enough to start recycling his own ectoplasm again (he kinda felt like danni. she was right, having everyone fret over you while you know you cant do anything except wait really is tiring). which he could deal with, especially after ember rescued him from h̶̤̓́̕ĭ̴̲̮̣̭͆͒̀̔̽s̷̳̿̈́͌ ̸̢̞͚̻͐͊̿p̵̛̘̣͙͉̺͎͐̊̓̓͝ǟ̷̖̗̮̺̀̾͝ŕ̵̨̤̦̹̦̻̅̉ḛ̷͋ǹ̸͈͑̌̀ͅẗ̴̢̰́'̴̰͖̽̈́͂͌͆͝s̶̪̤̈̔̒̀̕͝ Maddie and Jack.
they weren't lying when they said molecule by molecule
so yeah, he'd do as she said. he owed her that much (and more, so much more. but this would have to do. for now).
then one day, a way to repay her fell right into his lap! literally! his new friend Damian (and Damian's friend, jon. danny thinks he's cool, but he has a little bit of a staring problem it always made him blush whenever someone stared at him so intensely) was complainign about some "inane project" his "dreadfully dull" older brother, Tim was making him do. and, danny being a good friend, asked what was bothering him.
turns out theres a musical tournament happening! its like this was made for danny! after all, what would be better in repaying ember than winning a battle of the bands in her honor! everthing was turning up fenton! or- uh.. was it McLain now..?
and on the other flip side!!
damian is soooo done. he was ready for his senior year to be nice and peaceful (as peaceful that it could be in gotham) but nooooo. his stupid, idiotic brothers just had to stick their noses where they didn't belong and volunteer damian for the student judge position for the ridiculous battle of the bands.
though... those two singers who have taken to serenading him do sound quite nice..
___________________________________________
Things I think would be funny for this
•Competitors have a teamwork round where they perform together= Jon and Danny singing into the same mic at Damian
•Jon's one sided romantic rivalry with Danny who thinks he's just really enthusiastic about music
•Tim and Kon's witty banter in the background
•side plot where Danny uses some of his powers during a performance because he got too into it and Jon catching on immediately and being suspicious as fuck
•Damian being whipped for the two masked singers who keep looking at him specifically when it's their time on stage
•Danny flirting with Jon and Jon just combusting
•Ember figuring out how to parent
•Johnny and Kitty become babysitters for Danny because he's too sick to be this reckless (and that's coming from them)
•Danny rides a motorcycle
•Jon is totally in love with Danny too btw he just has no idea how to expresses so he unconsciously emulates what Damian does when he is faced with something he doesn't understand
•Normal school time where Jon tries so hard not to spill the beans to Damian that Danny is weird and that he is totally better AND that he's a contestant
•Danny trying to hide being a contestant from ember so that he can surprise her when he wins
•Bruce unfortunately witnesses his son being flirted with via song
that's it, I'll think of something else later
anyone can use this as a prompt btw just mention me lol I wanna see
What if there was a third contestant that kept trying to impress Damian, Dami was not impressed by their performance but they somehow managed to advance each time. (Whether its through nepotism or cheating depends really)
Danny and Jon are pissed that someone is trying to flirt with Dami when he isn't even that good of a singer(or musician).
Another is that I wanna see Danny play a violin while Jon plays a guitar.
People who love cold weather are fucking weird. You like to freeze? You like to shiver?? You like when you take a step outside and the air stings your skin???
shout out to the sex repulsed asexuals. the asexuals who are asexual from trauma. the asexuals who will not be at the orgy handing out water. the asexuals who are not writing the kinkiest smut youve ever read. i love you.
you don't ever have to have sex. it's not what makes us human, sex does not define us. you are not abusive for having boundaries nor are you needing to be fixed. you have worth beyond what you can do in bed. I love you.
Danny got a job in Gotham as a scientist/chemist and has been enjoying it greatly. He's the best in his field and everyone he works with is weirdly nice to him. If only they weren't so nervous around him all the time.
He works at Wayne Enterprises. When he came in with samples from the latest gas attacks the entire staff held their breath for a week, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The other shoe was him running out of his lab a few days later, manic, covered in various stains and soot. Holding a secure container that he rushed to the managers office with.
"Hey guys!!! I managed to synthesize a cheaper and better series of anti toxins!!!! And a neutralizer!!! Here is my proof! Here is the testing data. Ways it can be administered and stored!!!"
The rest of the area fell into a chaotic jumble. What did Dr Nightingale just say? He managed to create not only anti toxins, but neutralisers! Only the bats had managed that so far right. And what did he mean by cheaper?
"Uhh, Danny, what do you mean cheaper?"
He perked up and looked at the manager grinning with feral delight.
"Well, last week I managed to get hold of the various toxins, but I ALSO managed to grab the antidotes the bats use. I was wondering why they didn't patent and sell them, turns out they are CRAZY expensive. Like, Brucie Wayne and fam only kinda expensive. SOOOOO, I figured, I should work on that. If we can make neutralisers and anti toxins affordable more gothamites will be safer right? And it will lessen the issues the rogues can cause! I am gonna see if I can work on something that would... vaccinate? acclimatise? someone to the compounds. See if we can't inoculate against em in my spare time. But I figured that's a long term goal!"
The manager sighed deeply.
"Dr Nightingale, please tell me you didn't steal from our local vigilantes. Again."
Danny shuffled sheepishly and rubbed his neck a bit.
"Ok, I won't tell you then. BUT! I did make up a case for them to test? as uh, repayment. To make sure they don't arrest me or whatever? Plus I figured they should be pleased someone is helping, without punching people right? Like I left the punching to them. I just did science!"
The manager sighed deeply.
"Allright, I will take this all up to testing. Once it passes I will send a message to the CEO and Mr Fox. Please, for everyone's sanity go home and sleep. Have some food. And a shower. I will put you on mandatory leave if I have to. And stop stealing from our local nightlife! It's going to get you in trouble on day!"
Danny amused his co workers by whining like a child but he did as he was told. Gods their manager was the best.
"He is definitely going rogue at some point right? Or, anti-hero?"
The manager looked at them and pointed them back to their stations.
"That is for the future to decide. For now you have a day free of our resident maniac. Use it wisely. Hopefully I can convince him to take a few days. Gods know he will drag the bats on us at this rate."
He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. Genius madmen in this town were always a problem. Hopefully this one was going to stay this level of hassle.
Ellie bounced into the office, excited to see her brother. She wandered up to the deal and waited politely, not their fault her brother was a dumbass.
"Hello there miss, how may I help you?"
Ellis smiled happily and raised a small box in her hands.
"My brother forgot his lunch again. He gets a bit manic when he has a new project. So I thought it to make him eat. Is it ok if I take it up? Or should I leave it with you?"
The receptionist smiled. That was quite sweet.
" Well, it depends which area I'm afraid. Although, I can send a message over the come instead of they work in one of the restricted areas? "
Ellie hummed thoughtfully.
"Um, I think it will probably be restricted I guess? I'm Ellie Nightingale, Danny works in the chem labs. He has gotten way too into his latest project though."
The receptionist felt shocked. Dr Nightingale had a sister? And she seemed so sweet and normal? Well time to send the message then.
" ah yes, definitely restricted. I will just send a message. You can wait here for him. So, is he ah, always so passionate? "
Ellis nodded a bit. Then grinned bouncing again..
"Oh yeah, it's a family trait. Our older sister is just as bad. And to be honest I am as well at times. "
The receptionist was saved from having to reply to that frankly horrifying statement by the arrival of Dr Nightingale. He was visibly pleased to see his sister. Seeing them together made the relationship obvious. They looked near identical. Ellie perked up and waved happily as Danny all but ran to her.
"Ellie! So, the guys I work with want to meet you, so do you want to? They said we could meet up in the cafeteria? And I can buy you good or a drink? I know you were curious about the.?"
Ellis grinned, just as manic as her brother. Oh yes, this could be fun. She looked their arms together .
"Lead in Danny. I wanna see your colleagues. They must be good to work with you! So let's go. Oh have you heard back about the antidotes yet?"
Danny was practically dragging her through the balls and he nodded.to
"Yup, already been out to trial. Apparently the fact that I backward engineered the toxins is worrying though. Dunno why. It's not like I'd ever need it."
Ellis just smiled. Her brother could be so oblivious. Even she knew Gotham's genius Dr to rogue pathway.
"Paranoia. You know Gotham has LOADS of Dr's who are rogues. Oh, speaking of! Dr Fries agreed to let me study with him! I am super psyched! I get to look at pharmacology and stuff in more detail. And how drug development works! It's gonna be a great opportunity!"
Danny was so proud of his car Ellie had come. She had decided medicine was her way forward. She was doing great things in her studies so far. He weaved his way through the crowded cafe to find his colleagues .
"Right, these are my team mates, guys this is Ellie. She is the best! Did I'm gonna get you the death wish coffee and an everything bagel. So you want a snack as well or? "
Ellie grinned fondly. He was the best.
"Sounds great bro! Ummm, surprise me on the snack! And I'll play nice with your colleagues. Won't ask too many questions promise!"
Danny laughed as he wandered off. As if she needed to promise that.
Ellie grinned at his colleagues and waved. They all looked a little spooked now she focused on them. One of them leant forward to ask he a question . "
"So, why would you ask too many questions?"
" Oh! Well, I'm doing my doctorate in pharmacology! I'm focusing more on medication for long teth conditions. So still chemistry, just more medically focused. so, I wanted to see how it differs. Obviously Danny talks a bout it. But he's not exactly the average chemist you know? "
One of them snorted at that.
"You can say that again! So, has he always been this intense?"
Ellie nodded.
" oh yeah, family trait! Our big sister is the same. and I know I can get carried away. It's probably a good thing we all took different fields! I can only imagine how badly it would go if we all worked on the same project. We'd probably never sleep again! "
Danny's colleagues had to take a mo.ent to suppress that bit of nightmare fuel. Time to dig for personal stories.
"So, uh, you two look like you should be twins. Does your older sister look the same as you two?"
Ellie grinned and pulled out a photos of three adults. Two being Danny and Ellie. The thir an unknown. She stood a few inches taller than the other. Her hair was bright red as well. She looked like some sort of Amazonian frankly. Ellie and Danny both but near six foot, so she must tower over everyone else.
"Yeah, Jazz got her height from the paternal side of the family. But her colouring from the maternal. Me and Danny got the opposite! I'm two years younger as well, we aren't even twins! "
Danny came back as she finished and set down her food, before making granny hands to his own lunch.
"Hiya! Hope everyone was getting on ok?"
His co workers shifted a little and lpoked nervous for some reason. One of them coughed lightly and nodded.
" Yeah, your sister is a sweetheart. We were just confronted with the idea of multiples of you feeding of each other's manic energy. You don't need that. "
Bruce: Dr. Nightingale, how would you say your work life balance is?
Danny: Oh it's great! But sometimes my work just gets really interesting and then 3 days later I come out of the rabbit hole that is my job! I make it up to my family by spending the next 3 days with them.
Bruce: Interesting. We at Wayne Enterprises always want to make sure our employees work-life balance is complete.
Danny: I could say the same thing about you Batman.
Danny: Dude, don't worry I was a cape I highschool. I just managed to sort the issue by the time I graduated you know? I won't tell anyone! But, you can hardly come at me about my work life balance when you don't have one either.
Bruce: I see. And you say your family have the same tendency as you? Also, where did you operate?
Danny: oh yeah, we are all workaholics. Our parents were worse though. we still remember to people at times. And you won't have heard of it. The government has put town under martial law for a while. And full censorship. The government nearly started a war with the Infinite Realms. Took me a while to sort everything out and calm people down!
Bruce: hmm. Infinite Realms?
Danny: Ummm, Its the realm between dimensions. And it's where all the afterlives are. Lost souls and Ecto entities live in the free space connecting them? And they are really strong. some are God level. So, the US government nearly starting a war? Would have been a major headache. So I stopped it.
Bruce: Hmm. I...are you willing to go to the Justice league to do a debrief? And we still need to discuss you scaring your colleagues.
Danny: Sure! Wait, I scare them? Is that why they are so nice to me? How am I scary?
Bruce: You are a manic genius. Historically in Gotham that leads to you being a rogue.
Danny: Ah, no. I have too much work to do to bother with that. I've already fought the US government and won, why would I bother being a rogue now?
It is absolutely a reason why! The other being that he ONLY just got his species recognised as sapient. He does not want to be hunted by the government again! But that's a sad thought. Danny doesn't have those nope. They go in the bin and are ignored. As they should be!
Jazz keeps telling him to get therapy but nah. That sounds like something for other people! He doesn't need help he's fine! Promise *cheery, obviously forced, grin*
And well. If he went rogue, he would have to source his own resources, and a lab space. He would have to work extra hard to be able to afford his everything! No thank you, too much like hard work. He likes it here. He gets his own lab (Which he now understands), His co workers are nice (because they are scared of him... oops?), And he gets to fuck about on someone else's dime. Hells yeah!
Does, Does Mr Wayne not know how time consuming research and development ARE? He kinda gets Dr Freeze. Like, the guy is going through it. But the other rogues who were in research first? No, most of them have left research behind to hyperfocus on one specific thing. Danny has too many ideas in the ol' noggin' to manage that ok!
He would NEVER be able to afford to bounce from project to project like he does as a solo act! And, he does like helping people. Being a rogue would be counterproductive!
Now, how to make nice with his co workers? That does seem to be a fair complaint. He does forget how high energy he can be. Maybe he can promise to never be a rogue? No, they would never believe him... Oh! He's got this! Promise they will be safe from him if he ever goes rogue! Wait, no. Urgh this is so hard. Jazz, why are people so hard?
Ellie, Ellie, help your dear template!!! Wait, no bad idea. She spooked them too. Argh. Maybe he should ask his manager? Quietly. In an office. So no one overhears and misunderstands? Yeah that seems like a good plan! Ohhh, and then he can work some more on that chemical to help clear pollutants out of soil! If he makes that! The maybe Poison Ivy will chill for a bit! That would help right? Umm, maybe he should tell Mr Wayne about that idea first actually? And, well, he could just ask him for some of the bats various chemical things to improve for them?
That might be a better idea than stealing them. In hindsight. In his defense! He was doing important things! things to help people! And his anti toxins are great! So much more affordable! Red Robin did drop by his house though, to ask HOW he stole their versions. It's not his fault he's so stealthy. But, well. Asking might be the better idea.
Danny: walks into Tim Drake's office and slaps down a stack of paper like an inch thick.
Tim: can I help you Dr Fenton?
Danny: yes I'm very politely requesting access to every chemical weapon you and the other bats have ever come across. For science.
Tim, who Was Not Aware that the Future Rogue everyone complains about knew their identities and currently also realizing that said maniac is unfairly attractive: I suddenly understand B's thing with Two-Face so much more now.
Danny: if you don't allow me access to the things I need to create cures and/or antitoxins, I will find a way to gain access myself. And I'll get my friends and family to help. You will never know peace again.
Tim, weighing family loyalty and possible collateral against this man's infectious grin and the fact that he's mildly sure the man could snap him in half even with all of his training, and always down to start a new round of gaslight gatekeep girlbossing his family: ...yeah sure where do I sign.
No matter what some of his siblings believe Tim was not panicking at the thought of crazy, clever, hot Dr Danny Nightingale come over for a date. He was NOT! However, he could really use a hand to choose a good outfit. He'd have to call in Kon. He was the only one he could trust with this. Kon owed him.
Tim: Kon, I need help. I have a date. What do I wear?
Kon: I mean, do you want to show him CEO hotshot business man Timothy Drake Wayne. Or do you want to show him Mad scientist Red Robin Tim? Cause that's important.
Tim:... He knows I'm Red Robin. So uh. That?
Kon: Great! So first, clothes that are old and worn but tight fitting. I know you. You are gonna end up fiddling with something. So something you don't mind getting dirty. But still shows off your muscle!
Tim: I'd be offended but it's true. So, Comfy and tight. Like uh, my old Robin work out shirt? And the dark green jeans?
Kon: Yup! How'd he know about you being RR anyway?
Tim: uh, so he's, just. So clever. Crazy intelligent. He figured it out. But admitted it to me. Cause he wanted access to the rogues chem weapon samples. So he could make better antidotes.
Kon: Wait, he just.. Walked up to you and asked for chemical weapons after admitting he knows your ID? Holy Shit! Guy has guts for days.
Tim: I honestly don't think he realised it could be taken as a threat...
Kon: Oh, oh no. You two dating is going to be a nightmare isn't it? He's got chaos and brains, you have chaos and brains.... Just remember, if you go supervillain?
Tim: I warn you so you can join the winning side early?
Look, his team know him, they know if he goes bad he is winning. They are loyal to him.
And yes, on meeting Danny they are going to LOVE him. And when Danny finds out Kon in a clone? He's gonna be like, cool, my little sister is mine! I saved her from her creator and adopted her! How did Supes take it?
Kon, is gonna be like, wait what? Right away? Just, no weirdness?
Danny: Dude, my life was already so weird, why would being cloned be what got me? She's my mirror sister! I don't care!
Kon wants to join their family. It's not even an attraction thing. It's purely, he deserves the best. I can do the thing! And then meets Ellie. The mirror sister herself. And just, head over heels. Calls Tim.
Kon: I met Danny's sister. I get it. She's just.... Wow. She's so clever! And pretty! And her grin is great!
Tim: Yeah... It's the promise of mischief in their eyes am I right?
Kon: Yup. So much chaos in such a clever package. I completely believe they would destroy me if they wanted to.
Tim: Right. Danny promised I would never know peace of I didn't hand over the chemicals you know?
Kon: Hah! Ellie is working with Dr Freeze on medicine. She's trying to help him find a cure for his wife. So he can stop being a villain.
Ellie goes to visit Danny at work again, and mentions she's been working with Dr. Freeze, which makes all of Danny's coworkers even more scared.
Then she mentions Jazz, and someone remembers Ellie had said they were all in different fields, and asks what Jazz does, hoping for a nice, harmless answer so they can relax a little.
"Oh she's a psychologist! Every time she visits us in Gotham she has so many questions about Arkham and all the rouges, and Danny and i can only answer like half of them. One of these days she's just gonna move here and get a job there, i'm telling you. And she's so smart she'll probably be running the place in like a month!"
Everyone goes completely pale at that. Someone starts crying. The person who asked the question just straight up faints. Ellie is Confused.
Danny's coworkers finally meet Jazz as she storms up to Danny and simply says "Mom and Dad are visiting tomorrow." Which leads to A). Danny Freaking Out
And B). The realization of "If the children are like this how bad are the parents?"
Somehow Dick manages to actually lock Tim up in Arkham after Bruce “dies,” and it results in the longest period of no breakouts in Gotham history.
Don’t misunderstand. Tim’s not like standing at this revolving door of a prison entrance intimidating people into staying. He’s just being he’s weird self. He’s not Robin anymore after all, Damian took that mantle, but he’s still Timothy Drake and if you think this little twink of a boy with too much Information on everyone and to many random ass skill sets is not the most entertaining thing to show up in those halls then you are wrong.
Dude walks in with a suitcase half his size and wearing a pair of shades that cost more than the building housing him. He has a cell to himself that’s??? Fully furnished what the fuck? How did he get a laptop in here?
Someone approaches him in the canteen thinking they could extort or threaten him and Tim reflexively flips and pins them to the ground. He then sits in the guy and starts telling his captive audience about a cold case from 87 that he’s absolutely positive would be solved already if the police were competent in collecting evidence but also holy shit the uncle was so obviously guilty I can’t believe he somehow managed to get away with it.
Tim and Dent regularly hold mock trials. They’re not serious. Someone from the audience usually comes up with some random scenario and the two argue over it and site sources they have memorized and they go back and forth until there’s a vote by a preselected Jury.
Somehow Tim and Riddler started a “Pun-off.” That roped in like….half of the inmates. They had to cool it after someone got stabbed for a particularly bad pun though.
PowerPoint nights were implemented and the therapist thought it was a great idea because it allowed the patience an outlet for their obsessions. Most showed up because Tim was a bottomless well of cold case information and obscure conspiracy theories. This man has shown up every night with a new PowerPoint to present. No one talks about the number of note takers when he was presenting the PowerPoint on cloning.
People start showing up to group therapy on the off chance they’re in a group with Tim because there is something entertaining about listening to him dramatically wax poetic about how if he’d “ever felt the true touch of his mother’s love then he likely wouldn’t have spiraled down mentally when all his closest friends died so close together.
Once, Tim wanted Alaskan Crab so he ordered it and had enough shipped in for all the inmates and the staff. Hired a private chef to come in and cook it all too.
Meanwhile, in one on one therapy, Tim kinda just laughs with his appointed therapists about everything that’s going on. Talking about his friends does help, and playing up his intelligent eccentric billionaire is cathartic in a way Tim’s never really expected. “How sad is it that I’ve had more fun around these people than I have with my own family?” He asked one day.
Dick shows up one day to check on his baby brother because all he hears from Arkham is “Tim’s doing great!” Also he’s trying to check up on why there haven’t been any breakouts recently. When he’s brought to Tim’s cell he’s super confused. Again, this is a fully furnished Cell and Tim’s “smuggled” in a super computer essentially and what looked like a very expensive bed. There’s a shelf of books and a number of other electronics and oh? Are those WI financial records? Is Tim still running the company out of Arkham?
Anyway, Dick is checking in and Tim beams at him. “Dude, you basically sent me on Sabbatical! No fighting, no Damian or Jason! I don’t have to submit patrol reports. I’m not always bruised up from fights. No Damian or Jason! And when my fellow inmates aren’t being psychotic they’re entertaining as shit! I’m having more fun here than I have had in the last decade.”
And Dick doesn’t really know how to handle this, especially when Tim slips him a tablet and says. “By the way, I called in a favor with Slade (or other mercenary of your choice) since that Bitch owes me for that one stunt in the Caribbean, and had him check out some locations I thought Bruce might have left clues. Turns out I was right. Our cruddy father was in fact not dead and lost in the Time Stream. This tablet has everything you need to bring him back assuming you don’t think I’m still losing my sanity, which by the way, I’ve seen future selves where my sanity was lost and you better pray that never happens. Apparently the world burns. Killed that version of me already though, it’s somewhere in the YJ archives along with Gun Batman, Joker Batman, and Demon Head Tim. That last one is still possible though.”
“There’s at least two ninja’s here who have been tasked with keeping an eye on me on Ra’s behest. Wouldn’t put it past that man to abduct and try to brainwash me, but also if he tried Dent and Riddle would team up and systematically tear his organization a part to get me back. Apparently I’ve brought in enough intellectual stimulation and  entertainment that if anything happened to me they would ‘kill everyone involved and then Themselves.’ Their words not mine. I mean, I haven’t seen hide more tail of the Joker and wouldn’t be surprised if someone shot him dead in his cell to keep him from ruining our fun.” It was Tim actually. Figured he’d give patricide a go since all of his father/father figures keep dying. Figured he’d let Joker Junior complete the set.
“Anyway. Go save Bruce. When’s he’s back, tel him to come pick me up. Ask him if he’s proud that I’m following in his footsteps. Oooh tell him they stuck me in his old room I bet he’d love that!”
Dick end up leaving wondering if he somehow made a problem worse.
A month later Bruce shows up in a suit. Tim is drinking something out of a pineapple, sitting around a table with Dent, Nigma, and Harley playing a game of poker. Tim looks up, smiles, and asks if he wants to be delt in. Bruce sighs heavily but pulls up a chai, nods at the the other’s at the table and lets his son deal him into the game.
Somehow, Bruce is still surprised every time he learns that Tim is the most like him out of all his children.
Somehow Dick manages to actually lock Tim up in Arkham after Bruce “dies,” and it results in the longest period of no breakouts in Gotham history.
Don’t misunderstand. Tim’s not like standing at this revolving door of a prison entrance intimidating people into staying. He’s just being he’s weird self. He’s not Robin anymore after all, Damian took that mantle, but he’s still Timothy Drake and if you think this little twink of a boy with too much Information on everyone and to many random ass skill sets is not the most entertaining thing to show up in those halls then you are wrong.
Dude walks in with a suitcase half his size and wearing a pair of shades that cost more than the building housing him. He has a cell to himself that’s??? Fully furnished what the fuck? How did he get a laptop in here?
Someone approaches him in the canteen thinking they could extort or threaten him and Tim reflexively flips and pins them to the ground. He then sits in the guy and starts telling his captive audience about a cold case from 87 that he’s absolutely positive would be solved already if the police were competent in collecting evidence but also holy shit the uncle was so obviously guilty I can’t believe he somehow managed to get away with it.
Tim and Dent regularly hold mock trials. They’re not serious. Someone from the audience usually comes up with some random scenario and the two argue over it and site sources they have memorized and they go back and forth until there’s a vote by a preselected Jury.
Somehow Tim and Riddler started a “Pun-off.” That roped in like….half of the inmates. They had to cool it after someone got stabbed for a particularly bad pun though.
PowerPoint nights were implemented and the therapist thought it was a great idea because it allowed the patience an outlet for their obsessions. Most showed up because Tim was a bottomless well of cold case information and obscure conspiracy theories. This man has shown up every night with a new PowerPoint to present. No one talks about the number of note takers when he was presenting the PowerPoint on cloning.
People start showing up to group therapy on the off chance they’re in a group with Tim because there is something entertaining about listening to him dramatically wax poetic about how if he’d “ever felt the true touch of his mother’s love then he likely wouldn’t have spiraled down mentally when all his closest friends died so close together.
Once, Tim wanted Alaskan Crab so he ordered it and had enough shipped in for all the inmates and the staff. Hired a private chef to come in and cook it all too.
Meanwhile, in one on one therapy, Tim kinda just laughs with his appointed therapists about everything that’s going on. Talking about his friends does help, and playing up his intelligent eccentric billionaire is cathartic in a way Tim’s never really expected. “How sad is it that I’ve had more fun around these people than I have with my own family?” He asked one day.
Dick shows up one day to check on his baby brother because all he hears from Arkham is “Tim’s doing great!” Also he’s trying to check up on why there haven’t been any breakouts recently. When he’s brought to Tim’s cell he’s super confused. Again, this is a fully furnished Cell and Tim’s “smuggled” in a super computer essentially and what looked like a very expensive bed. There’s a shelf of books and a number of other electronics and oh? Are those WI financial records? Is Tim still running the company out of Arkham?
Anyway, Dick is checking in and Tim beams at him. “Dude, you basically sent me on Sabbatical! No fighting, no Damian or Jason! I don’t have to submit patrol reports. I’m not always bruised up from fights. No Damian or Jason! And when my fellow inmates aren’t being psychotic they’re entertaining as shit! I’m having more fun here than I have had in the last decade.”
And Dick doesn’t really know how to handle this, especially when Tim slips him a tablet and says. “By the way, I called in a favor with Slade (or other mercenary of your choice) since that Bitch owes me for that one stunt in the Caribbean, and had him check out some locations I thought Bruce might have left clues. Turns out I was right. Our cruddy father was in fact not dead and lost in the Time Stream. This tablet has everything you need to bring him back assuming you don’t think I’m still losing my sanity, which by the way, I’ve seen future selves where my sanity was lost and you better pray that never happens. Apparently the world burns. Killed that version of me already though, it’s somewhere in the YJ archives along with Gun Batman, Joker Batman, and Demon Head Tim. That last one is still possible though.”
“There’s at least two ninja’s here who have been tasked with keeping an eye on me on Ra’s behest. Wouldn’t put it past that man to abduct and try to brainwash me, but also if he tried Dent and Riddle would team up and systematically tear his organization a part to get me back. Apparently I’ve brought in enough intellectual stimulation and  entertainment that if anything happened to me they would ‘kill everyone involved and then Themselves.’ Their words not mine. I mean, I haven’t seen hide more tail of the Joker and wouldn’t be surprised if someone shot him dead in his cell to keep him from ruining our fun.” It was Tim actually. Figured he’d give patricide a go since all of his father/father figures keep dying. Figured he’d let Joker Junior complete the set.
“Anyway. Go save Bruce. When’s he’s back, tel him to come pick me up. Ask him if he’s proud that I’m following in his footsteps. Oooh tell him they stuck me in his old room I bet he’d love that!”
Dick end up leaving wondering if he somehow made a problem worse.
A month later Bruce shows up in a suit. Tim is drinking something out of a pineapple, sitting around a table with Dent, Nigma, and Harley playing a game of poker. Tim looks up, smiles, and asks if he wants to be delt in. Bruce sighs heavily but pulls up a chai, nods at the the other’s at the table and lets his son deal him into the game.
Somehow, Bruce is still surprised every time he learns that Tim is the most like him out of all his children.
THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS
can't find the Menace au in the master post. Link 🙏🏼
Yes, sorry, I haven't put anything in the master post for Menace since I haven't written a whole plot for it. I might add on the dabbles ones at a later date. But here are all the pieces so far:
Random :
From a fic I never wrote (What started it)
Ten things Danny the menace has done (Ask/answer)
Au of Danny Menace: Party Animal (Ask/Answer)
Clark meets Danny Fenton-Wayne (Dabble)
Angel Phantom and Menace Danny compression (Ask/Answer)
new au where Maria is the survivor sibling of the ARK bc Shadow used his fucked up alien powers to transfer his genetic data to her so she would survive earth's atmosphere. the unintended side effect is she now carries everything that made Shadow Ultimate
Maria, too, has her memories altered by Gerald, so she's under the assumption that Shadow's last wish wasn't for her own survival, but for the destruction of the earth. Pained deeply by his wish but leaden with grief, Maria decides to destroy the planet on the behalf of her brother, as the guilt of knowing he was born for her and died for her is crippling.
Jason being immortal but it’s kinda like Klaus from the umbrella academy in the sense that he doesn’t fucking realise that he’s immortal. Damian is the only one who knows and it’s been pissing him off for YEARS that Jason won’t get with the fucking program.
the thing is, Jason never questioned what exactly woke him up back in that coffin. he was slightly distracted by dealing with the wood and dirt attempting to suffocate him back beyond the grave, and once he’d gotten free and was wandering around Gotham, he didn’t have the presence of mind to do much but zombie-walk around until the league found him. after that? well he was too busy with training, annoying Ra’s, helping raise Damian, and just overall getting used to life without being Robin to think about the fact that he’d come back to life at one point.
Damian, on the other hand, clocked that Jason was immortal as a toddler when he watched his new older brother accidentally fall off a cliff during a ‘nature hike’ that was actually endurance training that Damian had been allowed to attend from a chest harness that, luckily, he hadn’t been inside of during the fall. he peered off the edge of the stomach clenching drop, sharp spikes littering the bottom, to see Jason un-skewer his shoulder from a rock and stand up to crack his neck, before casually calling up that he was fine and it was ‘just a little fall’. little Damian called bullshit.
things continued like that the entire time Jason spent at the league, and it pissed Damian off to no end that Jason kept just walking off fatal injuries and absolutely REFUSE to believe that they were fatal. ‘i just have a high pain tolerance.’ ‘you got shot in the neck, ahki.’ ‘it skimmed me.’ ‘YOU DIED.’ ‘stop making up stories, demon brat.’ it’s driving the kid insane. the worst thing is he can’t even tell anyone else for fear that Ra’s gets a hold of the realisation and decides to use Jason in his research for finding better ways to prolong his lifespan.
Jason, bursting into Damian’s room in the early morning, spurting blood from an arrow wound to the chest: Dami- Dami- u- argk-
Damian, half asleep, watching blankly from bed as his brother bleeds out on his floor:
Damian:
Damian: *deep sigh*
-twenty minutes later, Jason wakes up on Damian’s floor completely healed-
Jason: …
Damian:
Jason: wow, sorry Dames, guess i drank too much last night and blacked out. didn’t mean to crash here.
Damian, unimpressed and holding a bloody arrow: grandfather says you stopped an assasination attempt on my mother.
Jason: haha yeah, craaaazy night
Damian: get out.
Jason: -getting out.
eventually Damian heads to Gotham and, of course, his overprotective immortal brother follows soon after with the mission of building a crime empire, killing a clown, pissing of the fourth Robin at any opportunity, and infuriating the fuck out of Bruce Wayne. after a while the Red Hood gets his identity reveal, and gradual tentative truce, and Damian gets both of his families to be more or less on ok terms for once.
the issue is Jason is still really bad at staying alive. and the rest of the family is kind of sensitive to that specific thing. and Damian’s apathy is not appreciated. it takes them a while to figure everything out.
~
*all four batboys are captured by a rogue, Bruce on his way but they need to stall*
Rogue: and now, you will have to pick amongst yourselves who will DIE!
Jason and Dick, instantly: ME!
Damian, dryly: Red Hood.
Dick: ITS GOTTA BE M- Robin what the fuck
Damian: *shrugs*
Jason, so used to Damian being weirdly ok with his more dangerous activities he’s not even offended: YEAH SHOOT ME. I CAN TAKE IT!
Tim: no he can’t, don’t shoot him!
Damian: no, shoot him.
Tim and Dick: ROBIN!
Jason: bite me non-believers, i’m getting shot today-!
Damian: please do it quickly so he shuts up.
Rogue:
Rogue:
Rogue: the others told me the new Robin was fucked up but like i didn’t realise exactly how much-
~
Tim: me and Damian didn’t really get off on the right foot, on account of he kept trying to kill me.
Jason: ? so? that’s just what he does when you piss him off. he tries to kill me all the time.
Tim: ?
Jason: i called him a wanker last week so he shoved me off a building with no grapple. luckily the garbage can broke my fall and saved me haha!
Tim: ???
Damian, fully never wanted Tim dead and was instead so used to never having to worry about hurting Jason that he forgot that murder was actually fatal to his other brothers: yeah that’s my bad, Drake. it was instinct.
~
*Bruce walks into the batcave to see Jason, gunshot in his forehead, laying obviously deceased on the ground with Damian stood over him, nudging him with his foot and holding a gun.*
Bruce: oh my- oh my god, Jaylad no please-!
Damian: in my defence he told me the safety was on.
Bruce, crying: JASON PLEASE NOT AGAIN-
Damian: just give him like ten minutes
Bruce: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT- OH MY GOD HIS BRAIN’S ON THE BATCOMPUTER
Damian: again, not my fault.
Dick walking in: hey whats all the noi- LITTLEWING?!?!!
-
*ten minutes later, the family is sobbing and Damian is tapping his foot impatiently*
Jason: wooaaaaah, headache. …is everything ok?
Everyone else, devastatingly shocked:
Damian: i shot you in the head and you died again. they panicked.
Jason: ha-ha, funny as always brat. what’d you do, hit me with the butt of the gun or something?
Damian, turning to the others: it is a miracle he ever managed to get his GED.
what really pisses me off about this creator’s content is that DC could hire this person to help create one of the most brilliant animated series of all time in the bat family universe. they have a steady stream of wit and dark humor that fits perfectly in the playbook of the direction DC is trying to go. especially with james gunn at the helm.
jbbartram-illu
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
izzy806
origamiaround
dailybridgerton
germansingergirl
