💛 @offduty-mermaid - Tumblr Blog

lakevida

are you guys gonna wrap it up with the dog motif anytime soon

fraenum

literally man's best friend but whatever. i guess you do sexual roleplay as some kind of tender-leaved houseplant?

lakevida

you know full well that my sexual roleplays are geological in nature

fox-bright

Swarovski can continue to fuck off.

In 2021, Swarovski (the company that makes the very sparkly crystals you see in certain jewelry, on figure-skaters' twinkliest outfits, on red carpet dresses), decided they didn't want the grubby fingers of small-time jewelers, clothing designers and costumers and crafters on their shiny beads and rhinestones anymore. They decided to limit their sales to "luxury" and couture creators, not girls who sell stuff on Etsy. The tenor of their press release on the subject was snide and insulting. Resellers (like your favorite bead shop) would no longer be allowed to carry their product; the average Jane on the street would not be able to purchase them. You could only get them if you had an authorized business agreement that bound you to very strict brand behavior. And those of us who still had good stock of the crystals would no longer be "permitted" to use the brand's name in our listings for sale.

Every bead shop and craft supply place and many, many small clothing makers--wedding shops, prom and dancing dress suppliers, the sort of salt of the Earth mom and pop time machines of shops that are the backbone of the field--scrambled to find something that could replace them. The last of the stock dwindled quickly, all of us grabbing what we could get while there was any chance of it, and then it was gone and we no longer had any access.

I was Big Pissed about it at the time. It was just so goddamn stuck-up, when wholesalers and indie jewelers had made them so much money, when some people I knew--when *I!*--had been brand-loyal for decades. But with no recourse, everyone pivoted fairly quickly, most of us to Preciosa Crystals. Those are Czech, quite sparkly, and considerably less expensive than Swarovski. The faceting method they use is different, but not worse; any differences are hardly noticeable when you're seeing them as a hundred pinpoints of light.

Well, out of nowhere, Swarovski just dropped this: https://www.harmanbeads.com/swarovski-brand-policy-update

"Effective June 1, 2026, Swarovski updated the distribution and brand usage policies introduced in 2021. Businesses may now purchase Swarovski Crystals without signing a Brand Control Agreement, and Authorized Distribution Partners may once again sell Swarovski Crystals to resellers, including bead stores and online retailers. Businesses may also use the Swarovski brand name when following Swarovski’s Proper Use Guidelines. Designers, manufacturers, artists, brands, retailers, and resellers are now eligible to purchase Swarovski Crystals through authorized distribution channels."

They want us back. A lot of the companies who could have kept a brand relationship with them also have swapped to Preciosa, over the last half-decade, in solidarity with indie creators and out of a sour awareness that it could be them, next. And it doesn't hurt that Preciosa was able to expand their line quite a bit now that everyone who wanted sparkle had no choice but to go to them.

And I'm not seeing nearly anyone who intends to return. The feeling is, "Y'all told us to fuck off! Off we fucked! And now, that's what you can do, too!" I'm seeing a lot of "How many of us did you stab in the back?" comments from the people whose money they're hoping to attract.

And personally I'm sitting over here all rubby hands, mean snickering, because they really thought they were going to be able to outclimb the people who actually provided all their profits, and now here they are, hat in hand.

marithlizard

It's been a while since I said "this person wins the internet", but today it is merited.

(via bsky)

(The classic XKCD comic)

cutecipher

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

cutecipher

i have mixed feelings about competitive

cutecipher

*maddest ive ever been, eye twitching* thats baseless. its something else actually.

lyril

cornedbeefhashtags

battletoads

mxrderscenes

writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months

galadrieljones

Serious advice tho if this happens, it's likely because you already wrote past the end of the scene and wandered too far from the more logical transition point, and you should go back to the last time the writing felt "unforced" and cut everything after.

You can also just skip the transition. Really good writing can span years in a single sentence, like you can just authoritatively state fact and your reader will go with it.

xalphafox

This is GOLD! You just saved me like thousands of therapy costs lmao

headspace-hotel

When I was writing my fic last few months the strategy I used was "just skip all the scenes I don't want to write" and it worked great in my opinion

rexuality

i have a story for you, tumblr. last year my coworkers and I were riding in a golf cart at a music festival passing out drinks to people, because the festival had been cancelled that day and everyone was trying to make the best of a bad situation. after some time we spot a guy on the other side of the road dressed as lord farquaad, walking alone. we yell, “LORD FARQUAAD! DO YOU WANT A DRINK??” dude yells an affirmative, walks into the road without looking, gets hit by a fucking car, and goes flying.

I really need you to picture a lord farquaad being dummy yeeted into the air by an incoming vehicle while a golf cart of inebriated, glitter and mud plastered coworkers are full-on horror movie screaming together. before we can even process this, lord farquaad gets up like 🤪 how bout that drink?? completely okay, utterly unphased, red hat and bob wig still locked the fuck in. we check on him several times, all talking over each other, and while he’s calmly and pleasantly assuring us he’s fine, he passes each one of us a tiny jesus figurine. he bestows a “god bless you all” and then resumes his jaunt, drink in hand.

after that we drove in total relieved hysterics, the kinda laughter that only happens when you narrowly avoided catastrophe. and i have NO idea if the driver that hit him even said a word because my entire consciousness in that moment was farquaad, there was only farquaad. I hope that he reads this one day and knows that he is STILL talked about and regarded as some sort of festival cryptid. we are blessed indeed

egberts

guess who just learned to make nothing

egberts

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

hthrrloooo

Catastrophize Benedictine

#I am RSD Burger #partner is Overeating Rice

tenaflyviper

This Bricks & Minifigs situation is insane.

Millions of people are now fully aware that this corrupt, genuinely evil company has weaponized an entire police force to attack people that are trying to get back a collection of Legos they STOLE from AN OLD MAN.

Reckless Ben and his crew have gone through every legal route to get this man's Legos back, OR the money they're worth, only to get harassed, their home raided, and even jailed. It's UNBELIEVABLY corrupt, and it turns out the owners and cops are all mormons, which is why they're literally violating basic human rights over A COLLECTION OF LEGO.

If you haven't seen Reckless Ben's or Cr1TiKaL's videos on this, I highly recommend it. This is just pure insanity.

sofiadragon

I've been following for a while but the update today has me howling.

A calm voice explaining why Patreon has every right to tell BAM to stuff it:

deadrosencrantz

the original sin and the four horsemen

saintd0nna

happy pride to him

trollrider1111

Gay broke sober king 🤴

3000s

astralynx

Btw pro tip from someone who is far too paranoid for his own good but also loves horror content like a fucking idiot: imagine whatever is scaring you atm trying to sell you weed. This always helps.

astralynx