[rednightmare18]

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

[witcheshaven]

[rude-and-still-ginger]

Omg someone FINALLY put it into WORDS

[chilewithcarnage]

no amount of budgeting will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[raddagher]

no amount of therapy will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[moss-wizard]

no amount of working will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[notfinancialadvice]

This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

[birdsareblooming]

coat bath

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

[pocket-deer-belly]

i remade it in the sims 4

[thememedaddy]

[posallys]

i'm literally begging people to relearn how to use earbuds and headphones. i don't wanna hear your fucking tiktok while im waiting for my flight.

[southbreak]

100% this.

[made-in-manetheren]

Also, no the fuck they're not. $6 at the gas station will get you headphones good enough to not bother the shit out of everyone else who has to occupy the same public space as you.

[marisatomay]

What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

[marisatomay]

And it’s like. Like it’s everyday girls.

[homeboygirl]

theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

[charlesoberonn]

[bearfeathers]

[charlesoberonn]

[narnia-and-the-north]

@josiah-glacier that’s too good to keep in the comments

[its-your-mind]

ADD IT TO THE BADASS QUOTE LIST

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

*scrimbling in on no sleep clad in pajama pants and a poet’s shirt tucked into a hot topic waist cincher

IM HERE IM HERE HANG ON

I GOT IT

[happybunnykat]

A new version of Phineas and Ferb is being released. It is on a streaming service, and will be rated MA. Everyone wonders what this mature version of their beloved kids show will be. The first season is released, and you start watching it. It is just the same as the first season of the old show. Is this some elaborate joke? Finally at the end of the first episode, it happens. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is defeated, as he usually is. This time, however, as Perry is making his exit, you here Doofenshmirtz yell, "Fuck you Perry the Platypus." This is the only thing that has changed in the show.

[mandojerk]

I assumed that Ferb would finally be allowed to kill

[happybunnykat]

[rederiswrites]

The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

[xenonsreturn]

[luainthewild]

I wish I woke up tomorrow in a world where I don't have to see a single AI generated image ever again

[ladydedlock]

truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

[fleshdyk3]

i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans

[fleshdyk3]

put some respect on his name

[ihnmaims]

[thelovingend-deactivated2025073]

I posted this once and the notes were full of women and gay men saying that actually the french man being uncircumcised makes all of the difference in the world.

[beemovieerotica]

[animentality]

[technofeudalism]

this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

[technofeudalism]

the philly natives are showing up to shit and piss all over this anonymous facebook user and it has such beautiful philadelphia energy. i can hear the diphthongs. i love people from philadelphia. i didn't even know that's where this was taken, but i really couldn't be happier that it wound up being the subject of this post. few other outcomes would result in what i can only hope will be weeks of indignant philadelphians letting loose on yuppie assholes in the tags.