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Wit, 24, she/her. Bisexual, D&D nerd, ADHD.

[proactivekarma]

Trying to get back into comic-book-style inking and shading! And making expression sheets, which I haven’t done much ever — it’s very fun!

[proactivekarma]

[punkitt-is-here]

columbo teaming up with any detective is fun but the issue is that the one constant of columbo is that he basically knows the killer before he even arrives, so the mystery is less whodunnit and more about how columbo is going to catch this dude in his lie. therefore I propose the best columbo x detective crossover is not in fact columbo and benoit blanc or sherlock but in fact Columbo and the Scooby Doo Gang. In this essay i w-

[twinkletwinkletruly]

He’d LOVE THEM!!! They’ve no clue who did it, they’re off somewhere setting up a literal trap and eating chilli while he’s making sure the killer is always just close enough to get annoyed with them and him, and at this point he’s trying to see if he can make them just outright confess before one of Fred’s contraptions go off, or if he’ll need to arrange a setup where the confession is after the killer’s literally been trapped in a barrel of molasses up to his hips. Either way, he’s having a blast looking after his nephew or niece and their friends! No, he can’t remember which one he’s actually related to, wether it’s from his side or his wife’s side or if he’s even related to one of them or not, but they all call him Uncle Columbo either way, so who cares?

[roach-works]

obviously he’s related to scooby, on his dog’s side

[somestorythoughts]

This would be delightful.

[justplainrain]

[whale-blanket]

[video: gianni matragrano, cosplaying as columbo, walks up to a kitchen counter and says: “hi there. uh,” (loud fumbling for his wallet, opening it to show an id) “lieutenant columbo, LAPD, homicide department.”

he puts his wallet back. someone uses twitch points to overlay someone throwing a pipebomb onto the screen. gianni says, trying to contain a laugh, “pipebomb.” the pipebomb explodes. cheering erupts. end alt text.]

[fedoraspooky]

This is the whole stream vid, for anyone curious! He’s really good at those ‘lumbo mannerisms as well as the voice. XD

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

[mentohol-blog]

My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish

[direhydroid]

also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.

also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

More from the notes:

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The Little Art Connoisseur (1863) August Friedrich Siegert

[darnitjack]

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your toddler was the Little Art Connoiseur

[fluentisonus]

it feels so evil that you can't still access your university online library after you graduate *remembers my principles* it feels so evil that everyone can't access to that stuff all the time

[hollyevolving]

That is very true.

If it's of any help, jstor allows individual users to register for free Independent Researcher accounts with access to 100 documents per month.

[muffinlance]

it WHAT

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[themarshmallowreturns]

Cat Caro my beloved. my dream walking shenaniganery woman. my wounded who wounds the world with the Watchman's light.

I'm not giving you the fucking eight lantern painting Cat Caro. and i need the mirror.

also i keep eating people because of my damn Ascension card.

i will report upon this shit if i see people getting interested in my ramblings about Cultist Simulator and my current run. and i will put it in a vaguely-storied way.

[rebeccathornewrites]

Moss'd in Space

Did you guys know I have a new cozy sci-fi coming out? It's called Moss'd in Space, and it features sentient moss with severe abandonment issues. It has all the humor of Murderbot and all the heart of the Spellshop and I cannot WAIT for you guys to read it.

Also, the cover is stunning. Look. Look at it. :O

I also had Amphi design stickers. It says, "For a computer of moss, you're pretty manipulative." And that's literally Moss's entire character.

Anyway, preorders can be made anywhere books are sold in the USA and UK + territories! Stay tuned for more info on this series; I cannot wait to share it with you!

[unheardoracle]

Your dialogue is stiff because everyone is being too honest

Great dialogue can come from radical emotional honesty. But in most real conversations, people

dodge questions

answer indirectly

lie (badly)

change the subject

crack jokes to avoid serious answers

lie (convincingly)

say half of what they mean

tell the truth but get so anxious/angry/defensive others now think they're lying

If your dialogue feels unnatural, it might be because everyone is saying exactly what they think, or articulating their thoughts too well. Try letting characters hide things instead.

Subtext is where tension lives.

[goldcrescent]

atp the only way we’re going to get out of this ai shit while people’s brains are still semi intact is to start bribing influencers and tiktokers into saying chatgpt is cringe and it emits a frequency that blocks your divine energy which can only be channeled back by reading a book and talking to your friends

[goldcrescent]

mama bears listen up: human traffickers are using chatgpt to pick out their next victims!!! Every time you use it they create a profile of you and bubs and the more you use it the easier they can track you. If you’ve ever found a brightly colored wrapper just under your car at target or walmart it means they are signaling accomplices in the area to get ready to ambush you!!!!! Mamas help me spread the word!!!!!!!!!

[goldcrescent]

different audience no problem: what kind of beta shit are you talking about brother your ancestors were in the trenches fighting wolves barehanded and shit and you need a fucking computer to tell you what to do? You’re so fucking cucked dude you gotta do shit the PRIMAL way, you let a computer think for you you might as well let it chew your food get your gains and fuck your wife get this sissy shit out of my face bro it literally lowers your sperm count

[grenade-maid]

Whenever I see someone refer to "Victorian era-" for places outside the UK I'm tempted to start saying shit like "Han Dynasty era Rome", "Soviet era Australia" etc

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

“Welcome to Soviet America, home of the McDonalds and Cocaine Cola. Long live Comrade Reagan.”

[olivia-online]

The Civil War, or as I like to call it, Late Tokugawa Period America

[melonisopod]

I know this is a joke but this helps me put a lot of historical periods into perspective.

[computationalcalculator]

"cowboys were a sort of itinerant warrior class common in meiji-era texas"

[trench-knife]

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

[portland-sunshine]

Not a sin at all!

This is what's called a poetic epithet, and it happens all the time in writing. Consider, for example, Homer and his wine-dark sea, or Shakespeare and his death-mark'd love.

If you were then to start using them instead of the word they're describing, you'd be making a kenning. For example, if instead of describing the sun as honey-bright, you said "the honey-drop in the sky". Kennings are best known from Norse writings, like "the path of serpents" for gold, or "Grímnir's lip-streams" for poetry itself.

So you're not sinning, you're participating in an ancient literary tradition!

[i-scan-your-poems]

Scansion:

◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – The sun / was ho/ney-bright / that af/ternoon

Metrical form: iambic pentameter

[do-not-u-dare]

let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”

[do-not-u-dare]

ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?

[trashboat]

whenever you see C#m on a chord sheet you know the musician was just playing bar chords and couldn’t resist the temptation of the most annoying chord in the god damn book

[trashboat]

so i just noticed that c sharp minor is a bit shocking to read when spelled out in shorthand

[trashboat]

whenever you see cum on a chord sheet you know the musician was just jackin it

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I've just seen a TV show review describe teen pregnancy as an "adult theme" and I'm sorry but what are we even doing. how is that. how is that a. like it says in the name of the thing that it's

[chemicalico]

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

[eatthekidsfirst]

friends with consequences