for years now my laptop charger has reliably broken every 6 months. admittedly i keep replacing it with the cheapest possible generics, but I've tried differed brands and ALWAYS, 6 months in Death knocks impatiently at my door, its skeletal hand outstretched demanding yet another goddamn power cable. the only feasible explanation is i pissed off a witch. the alternative is that i'm the problem, which seems unikely
How can I get a full time job as the wandering stranger that comes into town and gets by on odd jobs and has their face partially obscured by a hood and/or cowboy hat
Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolfĀ astride! Why, next youāll be showing ankleā¦
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me
my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament
I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.
However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."
I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."
And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."
And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.
So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.
imagine itās January 1st, 3000. tumblr somehow lives through several dozen companies like the cockroach it is. the code is barely recognizable. the entire website, now a repository of nearly a thousand years of posts, is petabytes in servers that, due to techological advances, are still barely larger than they are today. English isnāt even recognizable and you see this, a post in language a millennium out of date referencing a show thatās been dead almost as long.
do you regularly listen to music in a language/languages you do not speak?
yes
no
Voting ended onNov 11, 2025
no nuance for the choices, elaborate in the tags. regularly means making an conscious effort to find and listen to songs in a different language of your own volition and not just letting them play on the radio/hearing them at work/other situations where you are not in control of the music
I was just thinking about the old Japanese censorship laws that gave birth to tentacle porn...
So for anyone not in the know, the Japanese government decided to fight perversion with censorship.
Specifically you weren't allowed to draw penises.
So they drew things that WEREN'T penises instead. Like tentacles. Fast forward to today and tentacle porn is an entire standalone genre with thousands upon thousands of examples and enjoyers.
The attempt at censorship did not quell perversion, it only caused it to mutate.
And now I'm thinking about tumblr's decision to ban porn and of all the people leaving captions under videos of heavy machinery and industrial accidents like "I need someone to do this to me" and "this wouldn't fix me but it would help" or "everything reminds me of her"
Obviously blonde4blonde ships are fucked up and scary, but it's important to remember that fiction isn't reality. Many people enjoy things in fiction that would be fucked up irl, and writing blonde4blonde ships doesn't inherently mean that someone is actually okay with two blonde people dating in real life.
OMG FUNDY FUNDY FUNDYYY personally I never considered the fundywastaken thing as canon but ur lore is so cool tell me more about how this would work out if u could
I love Fundy ur Fundy is so sugoi
YAYYYYY that's so good to hear I'm glad. sugoi cFundy
as for how fundywastaken would work out, the answers are either world domination or therapy (hj)
so cGeorge would still crash the wedding, but this time, after cFundy and cDream have said their vows. everything else goes down as it did originally, Dream leaving the wedding, Fundy shocked. but then Dream shows up to meet with Fundy later, alone. Dream had never taken the wedding seriously, but when he saw what Fundy had created for it--the enormous map, the various bits of redstone, and most especially those cannons he used to shoot the guests (the way to cDream's heart is explosions obviously)--he was impressed. he had to reconsider how he'd thought of Fundy, since clearly he had a lot more skill than he'd given him credit for. Dream even admired him a little. they talked that night, and the next, and the next. they both agreed to publicly treat the wedding like a ridiculous joke, but in secret, they remained married. so the official marriage bit comes first, the actual romantic relationship comes later, opposite how it might usually go.
months post wedding, Dream would continue to work with cSchlatt and Manberg, but this time around, he doesn't plan to keep Schlatt alive. he actually likes Fundy now, a lot, and they both think it's high time Fundy gets the respect he deserves. so Fundy, who has continued playing deferential and loyal, plants evidence that Quackity is a spy for l'Manberg and reveals it publicly (and anonymously) at the Red Festival. this time, it's Quackity, not Tubbo, who Schlatt forces Techno to shoot. Quackity, enraged, defects from Manberg, and joins Pogtopia fully. meanwhile, Fundy is elected vice president. Dream and Fundy work together over the course of a month or two to bring public dislike for Schlatt to an all-time high across the server. nights before the Manberg/Pogtopia war, Fundy approaches Pogtopia, claiming he's been a spy from the beginning and showing a) his diary and b) a plan to kill Schlatt as evidence. he also reveals that Dream hates Schlatt and is actually on their side, except for a mysterious deal Schlatt is holding over his head. since Fundy and Dream have treated the wedding like a joke, and have even been publicly aggressive towards one another, it actually lends credibility to Fundy's claim that Dream is on Pogtopia's side. of course, many Pogtopians, Tommy, Tubbo, and Quackity especially, are skeptical, but Wilbur accepts Fundy's words, so the rest of them follow, if grudgingly.
Fundy's idea is to pretend to lead Schlatt away to a safe place, acting as the loyal vice president, when really he's leading him right into a trap for the rest of pogtopia to execute him. Wilbur, worried that Schlatt will find a way to escape, slippery politician that he is, readily agrees, trusting Fundy in full.
the Manberg/Pogtopia war happens. as before, Dream surrenders and switches to Pogtopia's side most of the Pogtopian allies are still highly skeptical about him, but Fundy vouches for him, as does Wilbur. everybody surrounds Schlatt, and as before, he experiences a heart attack. Fundy, technically, is now president, but to solidify his current image as a Pogtopian ally, publicly defects and elects Wilbur president. Wilbur declines, electing Tommy instead, who elects Wilbur, who elects Tubbo. Fundy and Dream both secretly hate Wilbur for that, that even after everything his son wasn't even on his mind. Wilbur goes off to the button room, sets it off, and is killed by Phil. unbeknownst to him, Dream and Fundy have added even more TNT spanning huge swathes of territory, and Dream has already approached Techno about the withers to destroy the government. when Wilbur hits the button, every person in l'Manberg loses a canon life, including Dream and Fundy, to keep up their charade. it's worse than the canon crater after Doomsday; absolutely nothing is left. as the Pogtopians, their allies, and everyone else respawn, stunned, Techno swoops in with the withers. it's an absolute bloodbath. l'Manberg is gone. scarred, with so many members on their final canon life from the double attacks, people drift apart, creating their own little factions, but not countries, not anymore.
Fundy and Dream are beyond pleased with themselves. they party on Schlatt's body, on the l'Manberg crater, on the destroyed remnants of everything. satisfied with his main revenge, Fundy moves on to smaller things, actively going out of his way to be aggressive and violent towards others. he picks fights he knows he won't win and has Dream come in and finish them. this leads to people being afraid of him and acting more deferential around him, which fuels Fundy's vindictive sort of revenge for all the times HE had to be the deferential one. as much as he likes having Dream come do all his fights for him (hot husband looks hot killing people), he asks Dream to start teaching him to fight too. Dream agrees. his fighting style doesn't work as well for Fundy, because he inherited the lean and lanky genes from Wilbur, but Fundy starts to get the hang of using his body to his advantage. Dream adapts to his fighting style too in order to give him advice on it. essentially, they break the entire server into tiny groups of three or four people and then go about terrorizing those groups. fun!
this is actually a really fun AU, gonna call it Evil Dundy AU
theartofmadeline
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
