Welcome to my OnlyTrowels

Sky, She/Her, 25. American Archeaologist & GIS nerd.

[pspsappho]

& honestly there's no debate to be had the zendaya earrings are orders of magnitude worse than kim kardashian wearing that marilyn dress. yes that piece was a one of a kind unique textile made so specifically for marilyn monroe she had to be sewn into it. at the end of the day it was a ~70 year old usamerican cultural artefact being repurposed by an american for an american cultural event and everyone involved knows exactly where the dress came from + what happened to it + where it went afterwards. zendaya is wearing the looted (or forged) cultural heritage of a people her government is currently bombing & whose lives they have been deliberately making unliveable for decades to a movie premiere that has fuck all to do with iran. we don't know where those discs came from where they were found or by whom & we never will. AND the jeweller appears to have altered them substantially from their original condition. destroying a people's cultural heritage at the same time you destroy their country + their lives so you can look good on a red carpet One Time i want to fucking hurl

[whaile]

late summer / early fall thoughts

[felisalome]

Liveposting from my job

Ouch!

Heavy!

Dirt in my lungs!

Ouch!

Ouch!

That's a bone.

[onlytrowels]

As an archaeologist with a connective tissue disorder this is the realest thing ever

[lordsausage]

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

[onlytrowels]

"Devil's Pulpit", The Berkshires, Massachusetts.

[uwlmvac]

Corn was first grown in Wisconsin about 900 AD during the Late Woodland Tradition. By the Oneota Tradition, about 1300 AD in La Crosse, corn agriculture became very important. The corncobs were much smaller than today's varieties, as seen in the photos.  Fields were dotted with low corn hills with beans growing up the corn stalks. Squashes grown between the corn plants would have served as mulch, to keep the soil from drying out and blocking weeds from growing.  For more information about Wisconsin’s first farmers visit: https://www.uwlax.edu/mvac/process-of-archaeology/interpretation/farming/

[creekfiend]

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

[couldntbedamned]

If you come across anyone who starts off with "Scientists don't want you to know..." you need to understand that they're lying. They're completely full of shit and working a grift.

Because they've never met or spoke with a scientist.

Scientists WANT YOU TO KNOW. Scientists want you to know SO MUCH. Scientists would be THRILLED to teach you EVERYTHING they know in EXPLICIT DETAIL. Scientists LOVE to share information and their findings and their theories. They don't want to hide anything, ever. They are SO HAPPY to share.

[northirish]

My mutuals are excellent in building extensive and elaborate siegeworks, your mutuals struggle to dig a knee-deep moat.

[yffresbeard]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

[rabbithaver]

prev im so sorry to put you on blast like this but please know this had me in hysterics

[onlytrowels]

How come every single time I'm having an absolutely horrendous day do I get locked out of my office by the fire marshall???

[uncahier]

[stranglerfigpudding]

i don't care about monday's goals, tuesday wednesday dig some holes, thursday clean my mandibles, it's friday i'm a bug

[theannoyingmosquitoinyourroom]

happy its friday im a bug friday!!

[archaeologistproblems]

I fully thought this was about being an archaeologist, excavating and cleaning bones, until the very last word.

[great-and-small]

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

[onlytrowels]

In honor of what I'm hoping is the last deep freeze of the season, here are my two favorite snowy phots I've taken in 2026

[chick-it-out]

Visit Original Link

see him sing

now see him thrushin

[chick-it-out]

u can hear the sparkles ✨️🐤

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[blaisers]

Too important not to reblog

[moniquill]

I for one stand in fascinated trepidation to see how the major habitat destruction wrought by the loss of JoAnn Fabric will impact the greater ecosystem.

[aetherograph]

SCAdians can often be found in any of these environments, and while they do not necessarily travel in packs outside their native lekking grounds, they are gregarious and are not in fact one species but a colony of cordyceps-symbiotic Crafters, Goths, Dads, Lesbians, Cosplayers, etc. that are directed by the cordyceps inhabiting them to find others to pull into the “Society”. This particular symbiotic fungi, c. recreatoris, causes hosts to behave similarly to Historical Re-enactors, but SCAdians tend to create their own internally consistent timeline of events taking place in a shared world, whereas Re-enactors are a species of Museum animal.

[hasufin]

I wish to address the percasive rumors directly: the loss of JoAnn’s happened prior to and was not in any way caused by the annual Goth feeding cycle. Notwithstanding that much like cicadas and locusts, the craft store ecosystem evolved to handle and even rely on this phenomen, it simply had no relation to this unfortunate occurrence. While there remains some debate on the subject, the immediate cause seems to have been a disease which hit the elderly crafters on whom JoAnn’s relied the hardest.

The loss of the JoAnn’s feeding grounds has been devastating to the Goth population, and conservation efforts are ongoing.

[icarus-suraki]

By way of explanation before I go further, I have been embedded in the Michaels ecosystem since March of 2026, living and interacting with the native species there in much the same way as other pioneering researchers like Jane Goodall. Although I am a Librarian, I have found that when I appear without the black cardigan, I can be accepted as Artsy and can move freely throughout the ecosystem. I have also found understanding the communication used in species native to Stitchery, Sewist, and Fine Arts absolutely invaluable during my time interacting with the native fauna.

With particular regard to the Sewist species, after the loss of the JoAnn habitat, a major effort was made to conserve certain resources and relocate them to the Michaels ecosystem, in the hopes that the populations that most need those resources could and would also relocate. Unfortunately this process has not been as simple as it may seem. Namely, the fabric made available to the Sewists is largely Broadcloth and Printed Cotton. While these are basic and nutrient-dense substances, many Sewists are extremely specialized and require resources like Linen, Silk, or Chiffon. Furthermore, there is some tension between the established Craft Store species and the newly-arrived Sewist species. Although embroidery, needlepoint, and cross-stitch have long been established habitats in the ecosystem, sewing was not immediately accepted as a sufficiently familiar habitat despite superficial similarities (it is my opinion that the tension arose more from anxieties about territory size).

Another unusual conservation effort began after the collapse of the Party City habitat. Although the Party City habitat did not host the same specialized species as either hardware stores or fabric stores, it should still be recognized as a significant contributor to the welfare of multiple species, especially in October if the journey to the nearest Spirit Halloween was too long or too arduous. But one particular contribution Party City made was the regular production and harvest of helium balloons.

After the collapse, it is believed that human interference led production and harvest to be formally introduced to the Michaels environment. As has been said: nature abhors a vacuum. But it must be noted that this is an agricultural practice carried out by the Employees within the existing ecosystem and is not a natural behavior for either the Employees or the local fauna–indeed, the local fauna often find the sound of the helium tanks distressing. However it is not regarded as exceptionally dangerous to any local fauna. Recent species observed in and around the Balloon Bar have been identified as Busy Moms and Best Friends. These species rarely venture any deeper into the Michaels ecosystem and they are not believed to be invasive.

However, this begs the question as to how many subsystems the Michaels ecosystem can reasonably support. The slow arrival of Home Decor into certain areas was barely noticeable until recently (one can speculate that this phenomena is related to the presence of HomeGoods and/or T.J. Maxx). But at present, one of the main areas of traverse for all craft store species is experiencing a home decor “superbloom” in addition to one new natural habitat (fabric/notions) and one new agricultural practice (balloons).

My overarching concern relates to available territory for specific species. With these newly introduced areas, existing areas may become more crowded, driving out some portion of local fauna–but to where? Likewise, how probable is the collapse of the last large Craft Store ecosystem? And if it does collapse, what will become of its native wildlife? While I am pleased to see some Sewists adapting to the area, the lack of alternative feeding grounds does concern me. Have we, to use the old adage, put all our eggs in one basket?

I intend to continue my observations while I am in this environment.

As an aside, I have encountered a few Dads without mate or offspring in the Michaels ecosystem during my research. Although the observed number is statistically very small, it may be an interesting area for further study.