“pls stop summoning me i just want to pass calculus” (dpxdc)
Danny hates being summoned. He can’t stand it. Now, it’s not all that common- after all, who knows how to summon the King of Ghosts? But when it does, it sucks.
Imagine your heart being tugged out of your chest, and you have no choice but to follow it if, you know, you want to stay alive. Imagine being shoved in a tiny little cylinder and being thrown around like you’re the ball in a game of “Monkey-In-The-Middle”. Now multiply those feelings by 100. That’s how it feels to be summoned.
So when Danny feels the familiar tug in his chest during a calculus test, he groans. He finally discovered what Stoke’s Theorem was (despite its many inconsistencies), why does he have to leave now, of all times? He gets out of his seat and quietly asks his professor if he can head to the bathroom. The professor gives him a stink eye, but gives permission anyway. Danny darts out of the room like his pants are on fire and finally allows himself to be swallowed by the metal cylinder of darkness that is a summoning.
He lands gracefully, feet first, within the confines of a decently drawn chalk circle, clearly meant to protect the summoners from his wrath. Unfortunately for them, however, Danny is strong. Freakishly strong. The measly summoning ritual before him does nothing to stop him as he smudges it with his foot before walking through without so much as a twitch of a finger. He finally glances up at his summoners, already exasperated. Danny knows this abandoned warehouse like the back of his hand, after all, he’s been here countless times - all for the same thing.
“Guys, you gotta give it up. I’m not granting y’all immortality or resurrecting your loved ones. Please leave me alone, I just want to pass multivariable calculus in peace,” Danny sighs out in poorly concealed frustration. He left his calculus test for this?
The cultists’ leader steps forward confidently and recites his practiced speech as if it’s gospel.
“My Lord, the Ghost King, please grant us, your loyal followers, the gift of immortality so that we may follow you for eternity. Our souls are pure and will-”
Before he can finish, he’s cut off by a boot to the chest, followed by a flash of metallic red. Red Hood stands in front of the leader’s body, dusting off his leather jacket smugly (though it is quite hard to tell what the man feels, Danny thinks, what with the helmet and all). The vigilante turns to face the rest of the cultists, and by extension, Danny.
“I got tired of hearing his voice,” Red Hood (in Danny’s opinion, he should be called Red Helmet) states cockily, clearly smirking under that helmet of his. Danny calls back to him, “You got tired? Imagine hearing that spiel at least twice a month for a couple of years. Fucking Jeff, man, he won’t let me pass calculus in peace.”
He nudges Jeff’s prone body on the ground. “Get up man, you didn’t even get hit that hard. Stop playing dead, you’re no good at it.” As he speaks, however, the rest of the vigilantes drop from the rafters to the ground. They’re quiet- they’re trained by Batman, of course they are- but Danny senses them anyway.
Red Robin - Tim Drake, Danny’s mind fills in - walks up and cuffs Jeff, who is now miraculously awake. Batman sends him a reproachful glance, but Red Robin shrugs and says, “He already knew we were behind him, no use in being sneaky here, B.” As RR steps away to call GPCD, evidently to pick up Jeff and the other cultists who’ve just been standing there like a bunch of lost ducklings, Danny stops him.
“Hey, any chance you can get the police to go easy on them?”
“Why? Didn’t you say that they’re the reason you can’t pass calculus- which in itself is a really weird statement that I’m choosing to ignore,” Nightwing questions. They’re taking the reveal of an omnipotent, all powerful god pretty well, Danny thinks. He responds out loud, though, saying, “Yeah, but Jeff’s a pretty nice guy outside of the cult stuff; we get coffee sometimes. Plus they’re a nice break from the whole ‘I killed 50 people for you now give me power to take over the world’ nonsense that I get from others.”
“Anyway, is there any chance y’all could get me something like a doctor’s note for my calc class? I was in the middle of a test and I was crushing it, trust me, but I had to come here or I’d be ripped into a million pieces and I really want to finish that test because my grade depends on it,” Danny rambles, bulldozing over Red Hood’s follow-up question. The room, now clear of all cultists, is silent for a moment. Clearly, the vigilantes haven’t processed this situation as well as Danny thought they did. Then finally, Danny gets to hear Batman speak.
"Nice" Danny says pumping his fist, "You don't know how much this is going to go towards like me not having detention for running out on a test."
Batman grunts in affirmative while all the other vigilantes look at him confused. Then he pulls a small notepad out from his belt and start to fill it out.
Tearing the page off he steps forward to hand it to Danny who realizes that he never left the summoning circle, which cool, definitely makes him seem not as threatening to the group in front of him. Taking the note and a lollipop? from Batman, he just stares at it in a little bit of shock.
"Do you just carry around a hero's version of a doctor's note regularly or is it my special day?" Danny asks a little shocked about the note. Another grunt that he thinks means yes, but just puts it out of his mind and pops the lollipop in his mouth. "It was nice meeting you all! And please remember what I said about Jeff!" He says before breaking the circle himself and sending himself back through. Thank goodness the return trip wasn't as bad. And hey, who knew Batman was such a softie?
"B when did you start carrying those?" Nightwing finally asked. The Ghost King finally gone, and the runes for the circle only faintly glowing.
"Yeah, I could have used those so many times when I left class for so many reasons." Spoiler says, pouring and crossing her arms.
Batman stood there silent as the rest of the Batclan start, maybe he should have just sent the kid back without a note. But those big blue eyes and messy black hair really got to him it seems.
Hello, I'm Rheita. You may know me from my other socials or not. My ao3 username is Vender_Nyx, I use this account for writing prompts for crossovers and my fanfics. BUT I do have an art account where I rarely post @lunariantias My sole boundary is do not mention me or my work on someone else's post that has nothing to do with me.
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I wish they made it even marginally possible to get a job like I’m so fucking sorry I don’t have a rare but also highly demanded skillset, an agreeable disposition, and the ability to survive off of three nickels a week I’m soooo sorry
in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.
Y’all since bets can be made legally binding through contract too, what if Danny deals in wagers. This dude basically died on a dare. I’m picturing eternally 14 Phantom refusing to take deals because of the upkeep. Like you made a deal and own me a favor/your soul/your first born, now that is a pending investment to be monitored until assets can be collected. Danny says ain’t nobody got time for that and instead he deals in these wagers. They range to a multitude of things. If you can guess my living name(3 tries rumplestilskin style), beat me in a duel, catch my child in an earth hour, etc I’ll grant your favor. Since the summoner technically always chooses the place, Danny always chooses the activity(of course he always chooses things he’s confident about winning unless he wants to lose). And the punishment/Danny’s prize for them losing the wager is just whatever random thing he thinks of at the time. One time he takes a jacket off a dude. With cultist he normally has them turn themselves in.
Anyways the entire point of this is that Constantine’s whole schtick is making loopholes in deals or making conflicting contracts but he can’t do that so much with Danny’s straightforward no nonsense approach to his wagers. Just John Constantine being totally unable to deal with Phantom and taking it personally and either becoming obsessed with being able get something out of him or refusing to have anything to do with him when the JL ask him to summon him for whatever reason.
They have a competitive friendship thing going on. Oh John hates that he barely wins. But also, hearing what he does to other people? Gold star entertainment. And Danny? Adores the bastard Laughing Magician. This guy is great!
The Justice League had been dealing with an influx of inter dimensional beings causing havoc for weeks now. Constantine had been off world until a few hours ago. Took one look and started swearing viciously.
John: Alright. I know how to sort it. Where can I set up a summons?
Batman: What are you summoning?
John: Ah. A friend o' mine. He's a snarky pest. But good to his core. But uh, he's a bit hyper. Jus' so you know.
Batman held back a groan hearing that. John's friend could be anything. And frankly if he wasn't desperate he'd not allow it. He nodded and led John to a room large enough for a summons.
John quickly drew up the me.it used circle and threw in a pack of playing cards, some sweets and a kazoo? Everyone looked at the 'offerings' in confusion as John started to chant.
The circle lit up and a being like the ones attacking started to climb out. They looked like a human teen, but well.. Ethereal. The teen looked at John and bounced excitedly in place.,
Danny: Connie! Hi! So you have a new challenge for me! I have a new wager as well! It's a bit early but!
John: Ah, actually kid. some of your lot are running amock. Was hoping you'd be able to get em back to the Realms?
Danny: Ohh, which ones?
Batman stepped forward warily and cleared his throat.
Batman: There are a number of them. One calling themself Technus has taken a university hostage. And invaded the internet.
Superman: Skulker has decided he would like my 'pelt'?
Wonder Woman: I've been dealing with an Ember. She does make wonderful music. The mind control seems truly unnecessary.
John: And, if I don't miss my guess it's Vortex causing the weather issues.
Danny: All of them? Reakly? If wondered why it was so quiet lately. They are going to get a good thrashing. We do still have to make a water though. Rules you see.
John: Bet it takes you more than a day to get em.
Danny grinned wide and stick out a hand to shake on it.
Danny: Oh you're on! When I win you have to give me another magic lesson!
John: If I win I want one of your capture devices!
Batman watched as the frankly bizzare exchange took place and the teen disappeared to go hunt for the rogues.
Batman: John?
John: Ah. He doesn't like deals. But rules are rules. So he does wagers instead. I found his summons by accident and wanted to know what was 'appening.
Batman: And you do this often?
John: Yeah. He's young, especially compared to most of his kind. But he's kind. And fun. So I er... Sort of keep in touch. Make sure he's doing alright.
Batman: And he can capture all of those beings?
John: Easy. Truth be told, it might not take him a whole day. But Vortex is one of the oldest. An Ancient, so I was bein' A bit generous.
Batman: You are fond of him.
John: Hard not to be. He's a likeable little bastard.
Do they have to do this at the Watchtower? No. Do they actually have permission to do this at the Watchtower? No. Do they care? No. Are they intentionally adding magic to the sound so the whole Watchtower can hear them? Yes. Yes of course they do.
You know how... world leaders can't just? SAY stuff? Because when they DO it's the Offical Stance(tm) of their Country?
That makes their Fuck Ups(tm) all the more serious. It's WHY they have press teams.
But!!!
WHAT IF?
They said something, PUBLICLY, on LIVE TELEVISION, that? Can not be taken back? Full on "masks off, behold the horrors you have payed for" moment?
Sure, they could SAY "that wasn't me" and "I was brainwashed" etc etc. But? If it's BIG enough? UGLY enough? TRUE??? People WILL find it. Dig and dig and dig like termites in the walls. Hunt like bloodhounds.
Riot in the streets.
Because? All it would TAKE? Is ONE half ghost, a few too many long nights trying to balance college classes and his internship, a bigotry filled call from back home, and staring down that empty fridge with just one box of moldering take out, because he's been too busy and stressed to remember to get GROCERIES AND-
Ah.
So this is what "so stressed you feel calm, I have run out of Fucks too give" feels like. Neat. *picks up phone* Hey, Sam? You still at that protest? Outside the presidential speech? Neat. Don't move.
One Phone Line Express later. SAM is telling him to breathe. Maybe... maybe calm down. Think about this. Others around her can see the same "spark of madness" glint in his almost zen like smile.
It Fiiiiine, Sam.
He's just here to Talk.
He disappears. Sam's freaking out. President stumbles but catches himself on the way to the mike. Up in the watch tower, various Magic users choke on their lunches, because a ghost just possessed the United States President.
ON LIVE TELEVISION.
He taps the Mike, smile, leans in real close like he's gonna Tell You Folks A Secret.... Aaaaand~
"The second you Die, you no longer have human rights. Doesn't matter how brief. Heart stops? You're sub-human scum! Non-sentient by American law. We here in the United Stares PROUDLY desecrate the bodies and graves of the dead. Tear apart the immortal souls of the innocent. And condemn you to oblivion crying, begging, and screaming for mercy! Why, obviously, is an act. Because souls don't have the RIGHT to feel fear or pain!
And YES. We do mean EVERYONE'S. Atlantian, Kryptonian, Martian. Canadian, Mexican, Russian, AND Chinese! I could keep going! Once you die? You belong to the United States to experiment on as we see fit! You're PROPERT now! So turn your nonrights having, nonsentient self in to the nearest GIW! For the good of AMERICA. Ectoplasmic Scum!"
*drops mic*
Jaws are on the floor. This was VETERANS DAY. Dead military Heros and smile for the cameras. A cake walk. Do a patriotism, rah rah. There.... there are DIPLOMATS in the crowd. Sure as SHIT, were more then a few foreign nationals WATCHING. Religious leaders looking on in fury, grief, and horror.
Reporters. Oh sweet Jesus the reporters.
The press secretary faints.
PANDEMONIUM. The president, still dazed and confused from being possessed, gets PUNCHED on live television be his VP, a deeply religious if moderately shady man. Take bribes? VP is cool with that. Bootstraps, peasants, and all that. But how DARE you fuck with the Souls of the dead. How DARE you!
Phones are blowing up, questions are being shouted, the JLA Dark FEEL like they should tell somebody about the ghost kid... but also this feels VERY "Call for help-y" so they might throw their weight around instead and pretend they know nothing. World leader are meaningfully staring at their Dear Beloved Dead Grandmother's photos as they send LIVID assistants to hound the American into answering the DAMN PHONE-!
And Danny?
Danny feels calmer now. He has stolen like....700 bucks from secret security's various wallets. He's going to buy himself BOUGIE groceries. Some...some NICE take out. Maybe a little cake. Yeah~ Cake for Danny~
If anyone needs him? No you don't. He needs to go do some shopping, eat, lie on the floor of his shower and just... vibe for a bit under the spray. In the dark maybe. Sleep for a week. Have his food. Yummy little treats.
Or he's gonna fuckin LOSE IT, man.
(Tucker is actively hacking his college schedule as they speak. He KNEW it. Called it! Too many classes! But does Mr "I can handle it" listen? Noooooooo! Now look what happened! Holy SHIT, Danny!)
John Constantine? Watched the ghost kid and laughed. The sheer brazen fucking cheek! He already likes this kid! Hates what he's learned cause of him. But that? Was the best move the kid could have made. What a fucking mad lad!
Obviously many of the JL are currently busy searching for these acts. And the people enacting them. And are going to break as many laws as needed to stop them. They'll call in the UN if necessary! Don't think they wont! JLD explained why this was such bad news!
Danny? Is having a nice, relaxing week. The world is in chaos. Protests everywhere. Amity Park is suddenly on international news. Phantom keeps getting (refused) summoning requests. Danny has enough money to get himself the nice treats. All is good! Also! Dani rang, and she's proud of him! So there!
Sam, after the shock wore off, loves it. It was a perfect move! It's worked so well! This is the best thing he could have done! Does she wish it was made in his right mind? Yes, of course! Tucker is just worried about how stressed his bud is. Danny clearly needs more sleep. Let's just let him rest.
Just? Dani, laughing hysterically, like she has been for the last 15 minutes on his speaker phone: *wheeze noises of joy*
All while Danny Very Deliberately ignores the world basicly on fire out side his apartment. He has his cup cake. His fluffy pj's. Cujo. He's gonna hang out on the nap sack of Blob ghosts and watch a space documentary. It's like a living, purring, stress eating sack of goo that loves you. Beanbags WISH they could be even half as good.
Just? I could see basicly every hero slowly losing their shit, the deeper and uglier it goes, the longer Danny isn't their to be a buffer to protect the living from the cost of what they've done. And just?
Occult DETECTIVE. Key word here being DETECTIVE. Constantine starts at Amity (horrifying place, rest of you guys deal with...*hand waves to the whole town* THAT) and works from there. Meanders his way following Danny's energy to his apartment building. Hums thoughtfully to himself.
Goes and gets some upscale pastries.
THEN he knocks.
Hey, you can't curse him! He brought pastries! Which... is a damningly good point. Well played, Mr. Constantine. But Danny REFUSES to host.
They end up hanging out. Watch his documentary together. Danny waiting for John to start in on his whole "blah blah, I'm an adult, I'm here to make demands and pressure you to do things" shtick that they always seem to do... but it just? Never comes.
John's just hanging out?
Doesn't he want answers? To demand Danny do something about the mess he made? And... nah, Danny seems stressed, according to John. He doesn't see any concerning relics or gateways to Hell, no plans for world domination stashed under the couch cushions, nothin. Just a stressed Supernatural teen who chose to go BIG to make sure everyone he cared about could actually go home.
Eat another pastry, kid.
John wants to see the one with Superman in it next. Let's roast him.
And just? That smash cut back and forth between over here is "tender and unexpected mentorly advice/grief counseling from a trash racoon in a trenchcoat" to "everything is on fire, the world is on the brink of WW3, Tense Political Dramas as alliances form and dissolve, the fate of humanity...rests on the SOULS of humanity *dramatic musical sting*"
And Jazz? Probably out of cell service. Girls camping weekend with her college buddies, to unwind and help maintain their mental health. All the psychology students in her classes do stuff like that! Helps to get away from Heroic Battles and city noise. You know.
It's not like she's gonna MISS anything.
Right Danny?
.....Danny why are you avoiding eye contact. Funny stor-? DANNY WHAT DID YOU DO!?
"You're not gonna try'n get me to, I dunno, apologize or anything? Ask a million and one questions? Arrest me?" The tone matched the weary look on the 19 year old's face.
"Nah. We wouldn't have known about the laws, or the security breach and spy, if you hadn't. Way I see it? You did us a favour in the least lethal way possible." The pointed sip of his tea-he was a bastard but he wasn't going to blatantly drink around the kid, so he'd made a cuppa-and raised an eyebrow.
That was met with a shrug and a head wiggle that was half nod half head tilt. "Alright. 'Spose so. Muffin?"
The baked-by the bakery down the road-treat was accepted as the next episode of the space documentary series loaded up.
Jazz storming into Danny's flat while him and John are chatting. Points at him, one hand on her hip. Scowl firmly in place.
Jazz: I was out of contact for ONE week! One! Week!
Danny: *shrug*. You left me unsupervised.
Jazz: One! Week! How did you manage this?!?
John is smirking on the background. Waiting for the sister to notice him. Ah, this reminds him of Zatanna finding out what he's been up to. Poor kid. He slid over another pastry. Kid needs one.
Danny: So! Anyway! Jazz, meet John. How was your trip!?
John lifted his tea to salute the frazzled looking woman.
John: Nice ta meet ya. Ya should be proud. He managed ta get this under fire without 'aving ta threaten war.
Loving that this means that just one week without jazz is all it took for danny to go oh ok possessing the president is definitely easier than putting up with mom and dad
Also what do you think is happening to jack and maddie here like they are unethical scientists theres gonna for sure be protests out side the fentonworks building and a lare part of them are gonna be the teens of amity or those who have been saved by phantom and realise oh oh he's not evil
Now they've all heard phantom that fucker puns as much as if not more than nightwingand you know whay they say puns are either the lowest or highest form of whit
He's gotta be sentient also the more they look into ghosts and the attacks and motivations they have something driving them they're not just rah destroy everything
Jazz isn't even mad. Not really. A little worried, and a little disappointed sure. But, it was effective. It worked. And Danny it! Her little brother will finally be safe! She was mostly frazzled because his phone was off! She couldn't check in with him! She's glad he's safe.
I wholeheartedly believe jazz would be at least a little upset that he didn't let her hello him plan the speech and he just winged it instead. She would have wanted to add in facts and statistics, for sure.
Danny: Why did you never bring up the idea?? I only did it from having a breakdown!! Why was this never brought up in a strategy meeting???
Jazz: Well, I needed to know you were feeling more ok with overshadowing before obviously!
Danny: Then you don't get to blame me! You always go on about open communication!! You weren't openly communicating! Hypocrite!
Jazz:... Dammit. Fine.
Danny: Plus, you can email the stuff you have to Lois Lane. She works with the Justice League for press releases a lot. Tucker's already sent over his stuff.
Oh yes, verifying information is much quicker than having to hunt for it. And of course, anything she can't verify? She can still use. So long as she mentions it can't be verified because of the blocks.
Something, something, person from inside the block sent me this. CAn't be verified. But even if is only so accurate, it paints a worrying picture, something, something.
The Fentons will have absolutely been arrested by the Justice League. Or at least "brought in to protective custody" while the League works on securing the legal grounds to arrest them. Either way, they have to be in JL custody because anywhere else would probably end up with them murdered.
The GIW are on their own warpath trying to find the ecto-scum that possessed the president. They are also trying to use this whole thing as proof that ecto-entities only want to cause destruction and mayhem. And there will inevitably be people who buy into that lie.
If people found the Fentons, it's only half a step further to find their children. Children who were raised mired in the Drs. Fenton bigotry. And with a mass of people whipped into this much fervor, people are going to make assumptions. Dangerous assumptions. And many are not likely to listen to reason, to pause and ask if these kids are actually guilty of the same hatred their parents spew.
John wouldn't have known walking into Danny's apartment that the very ghost who did this is also one of the Fenton kids. But as soon as he figures that out, he knows he's stuck there. With 2 frenzied groups out for both of the kid's heads, John needs to hang around in case the kid needs sudden extraction. At least the sister showed up before anyone else found them. Now both of them are safely in actual protective custody.
Tucker does a video compilation of all the Times Jazz and Danny tried to talk to their parents about ghosts. From their home security videos. After seeing the public opinions turn on them? Yeah he's not letting his bud get hurt. Videos of Danny sneaking into the lab to free captured ghosts. Jazz helping distract their parents. The public are horrified. Those poor poor teens. They tried so hard! Against their parents! Who appear to have been a clear and present danger to both their kids!
Danny as Jazz get a text saying to avoid the news at all costs. Both of them are that and grimace. What had Tucker done now?!? They are going to follow the advice mind. But what did he do? John watches it on his phone and is like... Hmm... Gonna recruit the lot of them for JLD. Clearly Danny and his friends have useful skills. Even if it's only for background work would be handy.
Sam is quietly talking to her parents. Getting them to reach out o their contacts. Would be good PR to work against those acts now right? Just Dan the flames. Be seen to care™ All the stuff she needs to say to pod the to get way of thinking. The Mansons approve. Look at her go! She's learned to use the skills we need for business!
Ellie calls and uses the phone trick. Since Danny clearly deserves his best clone by his side right now! Also! Since he has a Justice League Dark guy there? They can explain the clone issue! Get her area ID! She can liv with her template! Maybe go to school!!
John meets Ellie and is just so confused. Ghosts can be cloned now? How the fuck?!? You want an ID? To live with your template? Yeah he can call Batman. He's good for that shit. Might try to adopt you guys though. Even if your sister is 21, and big bro 19. Yeah he's a sap for this shit.
Lois? Is tearing through the data and videos. Oh if only she could get an interview with the Fenton kids! These videos are amazing! See if them and their friends do so much to save others! They deserve the recognition! A medal! some sort of reward! They have clearly been doing a lot to stop vile acts from happening.The video where Danny got shot rescuing a dog ghost? Phenomenal press. She can milk his for all its worth. He's definitely getting all the good PR!!
Damian is utterly distraught because he realizes his Baba was present at all of his other kids’ weddings but won’t be for his. It's not fair, it's just not fair
He barely keeps himself from crying when Bruce stays silent as he gets walked into the venue, still only halfway done, and questions where he was and why there were so many people
Damian has to be pulled away from his Baba to get ready, while Bruce gets led to a quiet place to relax and not be put under any stress
One thing Damian has never compromised on is having a big reveal with Bruce. He wants his Baba to be the first person to see him fully dressed up in his wedding garments
He sits beside Bruce and just holds his hand, gazing out at the vast, opulent scenery of the wedding venue, softly talking about anything and everything just to fill the air
Then, Bruce turns to his baby boy, a familiar sparkle in his bright blue eyes, and he smiles
"Oh, habibi... Damian, you look so pretty..." Bruce rumbled softly, putting his other hand on top of Damian's and squeezing. "My baby, my sweet baby, so pretty for your wedding..." his face crinkles into that ever-familiar smile that Bruce would give him, something he hadn't seen in so long
And Damian bursts into tears because his Baba remembered.
And Bruce is able to slowly walk Damian down the aisle, just as he had with all his other kids. Bruce stays aware for the entire wedding, and Damian barely leaves his side, unable to bear the thought of not being there every second Baba can remember him
Damian makes sure Bruce is in every picture and video
It's a good reminder because Bruce wakes up the next day, confused about why this little boy is crying while holding onto him
actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.
Danny: I don't have a crush on him! I just think his motorcycle is cool.
Dan: Sure. And you turn into a flustered mess whenever he comes by just cause you like his bike.
Jazz: Aww, Danny has a cruch on- DAMN.
Dan: Ha! You too?
Jazz: Look at that guy! He's not just hot, he's scorching!
Danny: And he's not even taken off his biker helmet! You should see him without it-HE'S COMING IN BE COOL!
Jazz : *Pretending to wipe down the counter*
Danny: *Pretending to fill the display case*
Jason *opening the door while lifting his visor*: Hey.
Dan: Hey-
Danny: Welcome to Fenton Bread. We have bread. That's our wares! BREAD! HA HA HA HA!
Jason confused: ....Yeah, and it's good bread?
Dan: Don't mind him. What can I help you with?
Jason: I was looking for some flavored croissants. They're my brother's favorite, and he just got out of the hospital. Wanted to give him a treat. I didn't see them in the window, though.
Dan: Sorry, we sold our last batch this morning-
Jazz elbowing Dan: What he means is that I was about to make more. It'll take two hours. I could deliver them if you need?
Jason: Really? I didn't know you guys did deliveries
Danny: HA HA HA OF COURSE WE DO. CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER AND ADDRESS? FOR THE DELIVERY, I MEAN.
Dan: Why are you screaming at him? He's like a foot away. Sorry about-
Jazz: I CAN ALSO DELIVER THEM.
Dan: *heavy sigh*
Jason: Um, alright? I'll take a dozen. Two of each flavor to this address. *Writes down information*
Dan: Alright, that'll be a total of-
Danny: IT'S ON THE HOUSE
Dan: -Free. I guess that will be free.
Jason: Really?
Dan: Yeah, man.
Jason: Well, thank you. I'll see one of you later.
Jason: *Drops visor and leaves*
Danny/Jazz: *Dreamy sigh*
Dan: You're going to run my business into the ground.
Jazz: As if you need the money.
Dan: I do? very much? Need the money???
Danny: Why? You don't even have payroll to cover.
Dan: Because I don't have money? You both agreed to work for free this summer for that very reason???
Jazz: Shut up and go make some croissants. Speed up the process with your powers, bread-man. I have to go take a shower and freshen up, so they better be ready by the time I'm done. I have a possible life-changing delivery to make.
Danny: Um? I'm making that life-changing delivery.
Jazz: You said you didn't have a crush on him
Danny: I obviously lied!
Jazz: Drat. Okay, you'd better go take a shower and freshen up. Find out if he has a brother for me.
Dan: He has many brothers. They usually come in on weekends-
Jazz: YES! Okay, we both freshen up and go on the delivery together!
Danny: Okay! *Both run upstairs to the living quarters*
Dan: I've got to stop hiring family.
I love how the notes for this are just chock full of examples of the most batshit specific things people research for their fanfics. Truly a treasure trove.
Alfred: That's it! I'm putting my foot down. You need to make some friends!
Bruce: What? I have friends.
Alfred: Your coworkers and children do not count, though I do prefer that you spend more time with them. Master Bruce, you need to make a friend who has nothing to do with the nightlife. Now I know you won't go on your own, so I took the liberty of signing you up for an event that guarantees you to make one friend that shares a common interest outside of Batman.
Bruce: There is no event that I would ever bother to-
Alfred: It's a fan meet up for the Grey Ghost fanatics
Bruce: *Gasp* I CAN COSPLAY AS THE GREY GHOST!
Alfred: Yes. Yes you can.
Three nights later.
Bruce: I'm home.
Alfred: Welcome home! Did you make a friend?
Bruce: Yes I did.
Dick: Good for you B- who is that?
Danny dressed as a mini Grey Ghost: Hi!
Bruce: This young boy is a fan of the Grey Ghost. He was alone at the fan meet-up.
Jason: Oh no.
Bruce: He also happens to be orphan.
Tim: It's not possible. How did he find one in the wild like that?
Bruce: So I offered to take him in!
Damian: What is happening?
Bruce: Met your new brother and my new friend! Danny Fenton.
Alfred covering his face: I'm never going to mardy that boy off am I? He can't even make friends....
Danny whispering to Bruce: When do I get my two hundred dollars?
Bruce whispering back: After Alfred gives up on making me socialize.
Danny: I mean you can try you're best but I'm already half way there.
Dick: You destroyed Haly's Circus!
Danny: Ohhhh, you're one of them!
Dick: Yes I am-
Danny: Odd. There aren't any angry spirits around you. Did you not know the real reason that circus existed?
Dick: What are you babbling about-
Danny: It was a breeding ground for a super-secret rich organization to train children and then steal them to turn into undead weapons. Some of the spirits of past victims came to me asking for vengeance. I joined the circus just to track the organization and kill everyone involved. Not my fault, that was most of the circus folk.
Dick: LIAR
Danny: Don't believe me or do, I don't care. All that matters is that I killed everyone involved with that little plan. And I mean everyone. I have quite the collection of white masks.
Dick: I'LL KILL YOU-
Danny: Cute. Try your best. Countless others have attempted to end me and none have ever succeeded * Shifts into Phantom and Flies away*
Dick yelling after him: I WILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE WORLD. YOU WILL DIE BY MY HANDS
Danny opens a coffee shop. He titles it the Human Bean, a play on "human being" and an excuse to have bean bags everywhere. Mostly, though, it's titled that out of spite because of a bad reveal: his parents no longer consider him a human being, so this is his own personal f-you to them.
Danny decided that the Human Bean must be open in a dangerous city in the country because he thrives on negative emotions. It's his ghost diet. Rather than put himself in negative situations, he goes to places that have a lot of conflict and eats on second-hand sadness, feelings of helplessness, and overall human distress.
He chooses Gotham because it's dangerous and has a big enough difference in classes within the same city, which means that those emotions are always present, but it's not so dangerous that he could die on a regular walk. He avoided Bludhaven despite the fresh, for-the-picking emotions. That place is crazy.
Despite his necessary ghost diet, Danny is unusually upbeat and friendly. In Gotham, that usually means he's either A. Mad B. A goon/upcoming rogue. Or C. was a front for something far worse. People weren't too willing to get close to his brightly colored business/home, especially since he set up right smack in the middle of Crime Alley. He fixed up the building and chose white, yellow, and blue as his main colors, standing out even more among the broken-down buildings with faded red.
Danny doesn't mind. As Ghost King, he has so much money that he might be the richest man in the world- he just has no paper trail for his funds, so he runs his coffee shop for fun and as an excuse for where he gets his money.
He values comfort above all and has various seats throughout the building, including bean bags, electric recliners, hammocks, swing chairs, and, of course, regular tables and chairs. He wants it to be a place where someone can spend hours regardless of age. The oddness of the setup grabs the attention of a group of middle school kids who wander in cautiously. They spread the word about how cool the place is, and more and more people started to show up.
He offers odd services, too: free wifi, free printing, various craft supplies, rentable gaming systems, and message machines for feet or backs (the last two cannot leave the building). He only charges for drinks; all food items are free. Though he only offers pastries, it's first come first serve and he makes something different every day. If he runs out of pastries, he refuses to make any more until the next morning.
He encourages people to share their woes with him. Much like a bartender, Danny knows things about everyone because they find it easy to tell the man when he's offering them a warm drink and free food. It's almost therapeutic for some to just babble to the man in the comfort of his little coffee shop. Everyone in Crime Alley feels helpless and anxious. Danny is so well fed.
Then one day, a man arrives wearing a suit that might be worth more than Danny's entire building. He orders one black coffee, picks one of the regular plush chairs in the far corner, and doesn't talk much. He just spends two hours typing away on a laptop with a peaceful look on his face. It's almost believable if the emotions Danny senses from him weren't nearly as black as a void. It's delicious.
Danny does everything he can to talk to the man, taking small "bites" of his emotions (He needs to just stand next to someone long enough to start absorbing emotions), but for him to truly feed, he needs them to either share their woes or allow physical contact. But it's like talking to a dumb brick wall. The man has an iron grip on his emotions through sheer will, so Danny can sense the meal but can't reach it.
He all but begs him to come back as they settled the bill. He says he might, but it doesn't sound very convincing. Despite all of Danny's very generous offerings of wares and services, he knows that a man with that suit likely can offer far better. Too bad. He was the best meal he had had in a while. Danny almost accepts he won't see him again until two weeks later, the man returns, once again nearly dripping in sadness but held together by the duct tape of his will.
Danny nearly trips over himself trying to get him to stay. He pays attention to other customers and provides service, but whenever he can, he finds himself wandering back to the same table. He's nearly overwhelmed by how delicious the negative emotions are, and winds up a flustered mess. If anything, this seems to amuse the man who slowly allows himself to get pulled into conversation. Danny learns he is a single father of nine kids and is having a hard time with his two eldest.
Family issues are something Danny knows firsthand, and he finds himself offering advice, taking a seat at the table when his other customers leave, making them the only two people in the building. Danny makes them both a fresh pot of coffee and grabs some scones to share. Outside, Gotham decides it's a perfect time to let rain pour in buckets, and the man decides to wait it out with Danny, even though Danny had flipped the closed sign hours ago. By the time he left, Danny had eaten as much as he could, so much that he felt bloated.
This becomes a bi-weekly tradition, and Danny even starts marking his wall calendar in his room with a heart and "Tasty man comes in". Now, does that mean Danny doesn't know his name? Yes. Why? Because the man introduced himself, but Danny had been so busy taking sniffs of the air and savoring the depression, he didn't hear. It's too late to ask now. He avoids his name by using a nickname. Calls him B because he's pretty sure his name starts with that. B calls him D in turn. Danny is half convinced the other man doesn't know his name either.
This trend has persisted for 6 months. Still, Danny notices the man's depression slowly lessening, and soon, Danny realizes he's happier and actually brighter when he walks into the Human Bean. Which is great! Danny is happy for him! Except he's hungry. That was his favorite meal. What's going on!?
(Bruce Wayne is having trouble with his eldest kids again. Jason refuses to go to the Manor ever since Red Hood and Batman went on a mission together, and Dick is mad about something Bruce said. He isn't sure what it was, but midway through their conversation about Dick's relationship with Koriand'r, his son got angry and stormed out. This caused tension at the Manor with his other children, and Bruce just couldn't handle it. He had gone to a random cafe, somewhere discreet, just to hide from his family while he did some work. Just somewhere quiet and away from it all for a few hours. That's where he met Danny, a cute barista who was earnest and offered some advice on Bruce's dilemma. He tried the advice the other man gave him, and it somehow seemed to work; his sons had forgiven him.
(Bruce went back to the Human Bean more and more just to see) Danny. Somehow, the man made him feel better every time, like the sadness that had been clinging to him since his parents' death slipped away. It didn't take Bruce long to realize he had started to look forward to seeing Danny, as he felt better every time he did, and it showed in his everyday life. They even have nicknames for each other! Not too creative ones since it's just the first letter of their names, but still.)
( His kids were convinced he was hiding a therapist or lover, but Danny wasn't any of those things. He was just happiness personified. Everyone who came to Human Bean loved Danny and agreed his cafe felt like a home away from home. Now, does Bruce's heartbeat speed up whenever he sees the man? Does he feel like he could watch Danny run his cafe for the rest of his life because of how much life Danny had? Does he lie at night wondering what Danny is up to? Yes, but that doesn't mean love! It just means Bruce really needs to make more friends.)
