i am asexual and i dress terribly. the only thing i serve is justice.

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@operator42ndstate
i am asexual and i dress terribly. the only thing i serve is justice.
bwaow
i concur
AUDIO POR DIOSSSSSS!!!!
Beyond perfect 🤣👍
Dude’s got pipes
Damn he is BELTING it.
This is the “boys will be boys” we wanted all along.
Also, get them a contract.
I play this EVERY single time it crosses my dash. This is joy.
this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks
The “Thunk” will always kill me.
14/10 doing his best
i can't imagine a world in which i haven't put this video on my page
me neither
i regularly say "uy blyat grana" as an expression of shock/panic/really general vocal stim
pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*
@clawfootboy
I trust him
Okay but this is exactly what I love.
The above image is a historical artifact. Colima dog. It dates back to circa 100 BCE-300 CE. (x)
And, around two thousand years later it was originally shaped with care, painted with love, and adored… someone draws it. Draws it using a new technological device that allows modern people to shape things with care, paint with love, and even move them -on a screen, glowing.
And the said person decides to share it with the world. The whole world adores it.
I love the connection between past and today. We were humans back then, and we are still the same.
Cute dog :)
My 11-month male cat lets my foster kittens nurse on him.
(Source)
im sorry these are the funniest tags ive ever seen
If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"
the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.
>10 hours ago
>deactivated
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
everyone (including james holden) is fully aware that james holden failed his way into being the main character of the galaxy.
and absolutely no one (including james holden) is happy about it.
@mrrownd you're so right, he is both the most "guy just having a bad day" and "jfc this fucking guy" character of all time !
james holden is the human embodiment of Accidentally Became Important At Work
world heritage post: avatar femslash fans on livejournal discussing the possibility of a lesbian or bi lead in the legend of korra in 2010, 2 years before the series first aired. four years later, korra and asami walked into the spirit world together holding hands.
happy korrasami day!
This is the diametric opposite of "we popping the biggest bottles when Makorra happens"
Star Trek: Enterprise writers: and you're sure? You've checked everything?
Some poor intern or something, eye bags darker than the dried coffee stains on their shirt: Confirmed. There's no mention of it in any existing Star Trek franchise. Across 25 total seasons of 5 shows, and 10 movies, over the last 40 years, there is absolutely zero conclusive evidence that Florida survives to see the founding of the Federation
ENT writers: excellent. Fkin send it.
Not a ball!
DUSA SPHERE
DUSA SPHERE
jesus Shepard slow down
Playing ME2 again so this is relevant
i beg to sniffer
do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
i have a sister who recently told me she wants us to be a bigger part of each other's lives, i have friends i left behind in the US when i came to live in europe, and i currently (thankfully) have a clique with which i click.
i feel the fondness in this post. i could never put it into words and i feel it more intensely for some than others, but in my experience it IS entirely love.
(it is -probably- a coincidence that i HAVE had crushes on the four friends i can think of off the top of my head for whom this fondness is strongest.)
no matter the specifics of what they mean to me, they're special to me. they will never not be. my life is richer for having them in it. i am grateful our paths have crossed, and i wouldn't change that for anything.