i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
JBB: An Artblog!
Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
taylor price
#extradirty
Keni
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)
🪼
One Nice Bug Per Day
Product Placement
DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever
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seen from Poland
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@overcast-daze
It’s my birthday today. I’m 24
I went to change my age in my bio and realized that I haven’t used Tumblr in so long
If anyone who follows me is just absolutely desperate for more of my sweet reposting action, you can find me at jstiles1212 on Twitter
I’m not done with Tumblr, I’ll keep my page up for shits and giggles. Who knows, maybe I’ll come back to it at some point
if you spit out the communion wafer does it contains Jesus Christ’s DNA and if so... can we clone him?
I have a cool new Christian sci-fi novel idea called The Second Coming
why are you booing
we’ll need a surrogate womb... I don’t see why virginity would be necessary but you know maybe there’s an asexual out there who’d like to have a child...
of course only a fool puts all their eggs in one basket so in order to ensure the greatest probability of success we will need to make many Jesus clones
i don't think the wafer maintains its status as his body upon ejection
Then I will have to perform much of my mad science in the mouth of a willing and anesthetized Roman Catholic.
When my Jesus clones are stabilized I will have them raised separately among families of very different situations and philosophies. When the Jesuses come of age, they can debate each other and we can compare notes. Any consensus my 1,000 Jesus clones may reach on spiritual matters may be regarded as trustworthy Christian doctrine.
This will just lead to a new era of supercharged church schisms, as each Jesus clone forms their own sect, with a set of fanatical true believers (and why wouldn’t they be true believers? after all, their leader is literally Jesus). There will be new revised version of the Bible released every other week, as each clone pens their own Modern Testament.
There is a hastily convened multi-faith council to try and sort things out. Pandemonium as the Pope tries to restore some kind of order, and twenty different clones all pull rank on him. Absolute scenes as an obscure doctrinal argument between the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch and the clone leading the Neo-Gnostics turns into a fistfight.
In amongst all this, the real second coming actually occurs, but no one cares, or thinks they’re legit, because they failed the DNA test.
And? Are there any drawbacks?
Jurassic park has taken a wild turn
Jesus’s body and blood has been consumed by his followers for centuries.
Now it’s his turn.
callout posts in 2014: this user is sending mean messages to people! please be warned!
callout posts in 2015: this user is stealing bones from cemeteries for witch rituals!
callout posts in 2016: this user Actually A Nazi
callout posts in 2017: this user watches an anime I don’t like
callout posts in 2018: i went through this user’s youtube like history and found a video from JonTron that they liked in 2012, proving that they’re a bad person
callout posts in 2019: this user plays E-Rated Video Games, which are meant for children, which seems pretty sus to me idk :/
callout posts in 2020: this user stole 5 gallons of purified water from the New DC Resistance Camp and was last seen headed towards Sunken Brooklyn
what I REALLY don’t like is this post was made in 2017
oh learning this wasnt made like, yesterday, made me jump out of my SKIN.
Who is @professional-dog-hugger really
I’m just a dumbass who unfortunately could have never predicted this hellish timeline. I am not the OP, but this website, in all it’s dysfunctional glory, made me appear to be since the actual OP appears to have deactivated. Sorry on behalf of the staff for the mix up I guess
OP was assassinated for being too powerful and you were left as the scapegoat im so sorry.
I can’t believed tumblr force-kinned me into an unholy prophet, doomed to pay for the crimes of another
Cassandra by Proxy
She gets it.
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit
Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
this is it. this is the single funniest coronavirus meme. what the mcfuck
you know, for all I joke about quarantine being my normal life, I never realised how much I liked having the option to go out if I want to.
government: do not go outside
me:
Finally one of these things that truly reflects my experience.
Artwork of Ruby by Erin Winn, who has now been promoted to Art Director for RWBY Volume 8!
My starry creatures series thus far. I have really enjoyed developing this and am excited to continue to.
……oh god it’s so fucking adorable. Plus the whole half-orc thing……yeah
So this is what an ork emo phase looks like.
boss asked me if i knew what a brony was today but he pronounced it like “brownie” then started explaining, but somehow I’M THE WEIRD ONE FOR INTERRUPTING WITH “Oh, you mean BRONYS, yeah, they do want to fuck horses!”
boss today asked me if I knew what a bear was and it took the incredible effort of forcing every bone in my body to solidify into one giant Super Bone and in the process fusing my jaw shut for me to stop myself from saying “uh, yeah dude, you but gay.”
boss texted me today about all the business we’ve been getting and i texted back “haha yup our dance card is getting pretty full!” followed immediately by two minutes of debilitating panic about whether that was an actual saying or just some nonsense I’d made up.
boss came to my office today strictly to tell me he got hamilton tickets and had the nerve to be insulted when i referred to him as “the biggest copycat there ever was.”
boss today texted me the most unorthodox elipsis i’ve ever seen
my boss’s parents and my parents each have vacation homes in the same retirement community, which is widely rumored to be a hotbed of sexual depravity, so sometimes i deliberately antagonize him by implying - very innocently and with plausible deniability - that our parents swing with each other
boss just came into my office to ask me a question, paused and said “what the FUCK are you listening to?” and when i sheepishly admitted it was a remix of the wii shop channel music, he just left.
op what is your occupation
Rascal.
how tf am I supposed to be sexy during a pandemic
No one:
Absolutely no one:
@timetopanik :
I hope yall find someone who never gets enough of you.
Friendship Progresses
I will die for these two, fight me
tHAnK ME latER
