incorrect avengers quotes

things that definitely go on at the avengers compound

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Reader: No! I don’t even want to talk to her until I know for sure that she’s gay!

Natasha: [walks over to Wanda]

Natasha: What color lipstick are you wearing?

Wanda: Oh, I don’t wear lipstick. Just chapstick.

Natasha: Oh nice!

Natasha: [walks past Y/N] Gay.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Reader: I’m going to bed.

Steve: It’s noon.

Reader: Time isn’t real.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

I’m not sorry for going through all the posts and liking them.

I don’t want you to be sorry, I appreciate it.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Reader: I hate when Pepper says, “Are you listening to me?” It’s such a random way to start a conversation.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Peter: We can never let anyone know that we got beat up by Morgan.

Reader: Agreed.

Peter: Take it to the grave?

Reader: To the grave.

Peter: This conversation never happened.

Reader: I don’t even know who you are.

Peter: ...That’s hurtful, you took it too far.

Reader: That’s a weird thing for a stranger to say.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Reader: [to Avengers Tower] People treat me like an idiot, so I’m allowed to act like one from time to time. It’s one of the perks.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Tony: Can you do something for me?

Reader: Of course.

Tony: ...And can you do a good job on it?

Reader: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re changing the whole deal here!

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Tony: If you’re saying I play favourites, Pepper, you’re wrong. I love both Peter and Y/N equally.

[earlier that day]

Tony: I don’t care for Y/N.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Pepper: Maybe you should focus on your own health... When’s the last time you had a carrot?

Y/N: Well, it’s my least favourite type of cake, so rarely. If I absolutely have to, I’ll just eat the frosting.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Y/N: [to Tony] Be honest. Are you as surprised as I am that I’m the only one here behaving myself?

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Y/N: If no one will play with me, I’ll just go up to my room and play with myself!

Peter:

Shuri:

Bucky:

Sam:

Natasha:

Y/N: ...Play *by* myself.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Tony: Peter and Shuri seem to think the three of you are dropping out of school.

Y/N: Oh... Well, yeah. We are.

Pepper: May I ask why you are abandoning your education?

Y/N: We need to do some... uh... soul-searching.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Y/N: Okay, if someone held a knife to my throat, my top three cheeses are Cheddar, Swiss and Gouda.

Natasha: As someone who has actually had a knife held to her throat, cheese is not what they’re going to ask about.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Peter: Tony, Y/N isn’t talking to me.

Tony: Enjoy it while it lasts.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Peter: Why do I have to be the distraction?

Y/N: Don’t worry, I’m going with you.

Peter: Aww, thanks!

Y/N: Pepper and Tony said I had to.

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Y/N: Life is weird.

Peter: Yeah...

Tony: That’s because you guys do weird shit all the time.

Peter: We weren’t complaining!

[overheard-at-avengerstower]

Y/N: [to Peter & Shuri] I’m the one who got us into this mess, so I’ll be the one who gets us much, much deeper into this mess.