A teenager. A minor mind you, so choose your words correctly. I don't mind talking to you even if you are an adult but be aware of you choice of words.
What do I post :-
I write poems. 💙💚 . Make weird reblogs about the Marauders Fandom, Percy Jackson Fandom, Shadowhunters Fandom, Haikyuu, Jujutsu Kaisen and more. Not to mention random vents or just shading people. I like F1. I used to be a swimmer and classical dancer.
Music I listen to (it changes a lot I like specific songs from these artists) :-
I'm a firm believer that Cliff Marleau had to be told that Shane Hollander and Montreal Jane were the same person. I am of the belief that when the Fanmail video leaked, Cliff thought "oh, it must not have worked out with Montreal Jane but my boy bagged Shane fucking Hollander, so it's fine." He does think it's a little funny that both of the people Ilya's been seriously involved with are based in Montreal but he still doesn't put it together.
the centaurs being absolute idiots and somehow coming to the conclusion that they found hollanov rpf that ilya wrote in ~2015
instead of communicating like normal people, they start quoting the fic at him in the locker room.
he's incredibly confused but luca's soul has left the plane of existence entirely because what do you mean his teammates are reading his hollanov soulmates au to ilya rozanov
Ilya on Twitter, so proud, after Shane scores a hat-trick: Did you all see my husband? 😍😍😍
Certified husband guy Ilya Rozanov after someone calls him a cocksucker on the ice: Have you seen my husband? Yes, I suck his cock. So sad for you that you will never get to.
Ilya Rozanov, showing up late to a gala after his husband, Shane Hollander, was away for some commercial shoot and he didn't get to see him before the event, looking genuinely frantic: Have you seen my husband anywhere??
Ilya out for lunch with Shane, when the bill comes along: Oh, my rich hockey player husband will take care of that.
Ilya Rozanov, drunk out of his mind at his husband-mandated night out with Cliff (because he needs the enrichment), not so gently turning down some woman who's blatantly flirting with him: Do you even know who my husband is???
Ilya "Down Atrocious" Hollander-Rozanov when one of Shane's commercials plays at Monk's after a game: Everyone shut up! My husband is on TV!
whenever ilya gets too drunk people call shane. shane comes in and nudges ilya and ilya drapes himself onto shane and looks at him all dopey.
“you are here” “of course i am” “shane hollander is taking me home” “shane hollander-rozanov is taking you home” “shane hollander takes my last name” “yes he did. do you want to come home with him?” “i’ll go anywhere shane hollander goes” “okay then let’s go home baby”
ilya drunkenly smiles and babbles to anyone that listens that his husband is taking him home. his husband shane hollander-rozanov. did he mention shane was his husband? did he mention shane took his last name? and shane would find it cute if ilya wasn’t wiggling all over the place and make it very difficult for him to take home.
In the background of the video clip, posted by a fan at the hotel breakfast just before Christmas 2018, Shane Hollander is talking on the phone. He looks tired but he's smiling, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate with a fork. "I saw, baby," he says. "No, definitely, no way that was slashing, I'm with you. You'll get them next time, though. Beautiful goal you got in the first, that was so fucking sexy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love you."
Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?
And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.
And Shane Hollander is so consumed by jealousy he almost chokes.
imagining shane hanging out with his parents and while he's away from his phone doing something with his dad a call comes in. yuna sees this and goes, "shane, someone's calling you!"
and shane says, "who is it?"
"lily!"
"oh." shane immediately sets aside what he's doing and walks over, saying to his mom, "that's ilya."
yuna looks at him in confusion as he picks up his phone. "why is ilya saved as 'lily' in your phone?"
and shane looks at her, away, shrugs as if it's obvious and simply says, "I can't have ilya rozanov saved on my phone, mom" before answering the call with a, "hey, baby" and walking away.
leaving yuna (and david) standing shocked and, once again, shaken at how little they knew about their son and the layers of concealment he's had to operate under for years just to love who he loves.
The Centaurs do silly Try Not to Laugh challenges for social media engagement. The rules are simple:
1. You laugh, you’re out.
2. Shane and Ilya CANNOT sit next to or on each other.
It’s not that they strategize to get everyone else eliminated first (although that would absolutely make sense and wouldn’t be a stretch). It’s not even that they’re too difficult to crack; Ilya can be taken down with the right facial expression and Shane’s a hockey robot, but he’s not an actual robot.
No—the problem is that they radiate joy when they’re together. Infectious, contagious, overwhelming joy. It’s uncontainable, uncontrollable, and impossible to resist. No one is immune.
The first challenge Harris tried filming, he’d let the team choose their seats. Ilya, being Ilya and team captain, chose to be front and center. He also (1) removed a chair to ensure they were one seat short and (2) “innocently” asked Shane to get his water bottle from the locker room, making him the last one to arrive.
“Oh no,” he deadpanned, looking straight at the camera. “Where will my beautiful husband sit? No chairs. I—ah! I have solution.”
And that’s how Shane ended up in Ilya’s lap, red as a tomato but grinning and giggling like a fool, first to get eliminated from the challenge in a video that got over a million views in just a day. That’s also how Bood made the mistake of looking at Roz’s possessive, lovesick face and immediately bursting into laughter, which spread to Wyatt, Luca, and—shit, the whole team’s down. Cut!
i think it would heal shane to have some of the centaurs flirt with him. i think it would do him some good for them to slap his ass. i think it'd be nice if someone jumped on his back and he gave them a piggyback ride. i think he would secretly enjoy having the rookies use him as their pillow while waiting at the airport
i just think it'd be good for him to get to experience the parts of locker room culture that are playful and affectionate when he never got them because montreal operated under the logic of you like guys which means you MUST like me and that's a personal threat to my masculinity
Shane is just as unhinged as Ilya, if not more so—he just requires a certain level of comfort and ease to let people see that. Ilya’s baseline is “I woke up today and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem.” Shane is more “I need you to prove your worth and trustworthiness before I allow you access to additional sides of me.”
Shane’s parents? Fully aware of his gremlin tendencies. Ilya? Intimately acquainted and in love with this undercover harbinger of mischief. Rose, Hayden, JJ, Jackie? They know that Shane is actually just three chaos demons in a trench coat. Everyone else only catches the occasional glimpse because Shane isn’t comfortable showing that part of himself to just anyone, much less in a professional capacity.
Enter Centaurs.
Hayden notices the difference at the first Montreal game against Ottawa. Shane’s playing the same—an absolute demon on the ice, something the Metros are woefully unprepared to face now that he’s playing against them. They score a single measly goal against the Centaurs’ 10, 6 of which are Shane’s alone.
He looks relaxed, Hayden thinks as the press flocks to his friend after the game. Less tension in his shoulders. An actual smile on his face instead of the fake one reporters still haven’t caught on to after all these years. He looks…happy.
“Shane!” One of the reporters pushes to the front and holds out a microphone. “Your former teammates spent most of this game gunning for you instead of actually playing. It doesn’t seem to have worked out well, but is there anything you’d like to say to them now?”
Hayden feels a chill run down his spine as he watches the way Shane’s smile shifts from soft to sharp, closed mouth to shark-like. Oh no. Wait, wait, wait—
Shane looks directly at the camera and shrugs.
“Hoes mad.”
In the background, Rozanov’s face positively lights up. He looks like Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day just came early, all at once and specifically for him. The rest of the Centaurs are behind him, cheering wildly.
More importantly? None of them look surprised.
Hayden’s not shocked that Shane said it—he knows what his friend is really like, knows the Metros are mad (even if he does personally object to being called a hoe). He just can’t believe Shane said that out loud, in front of cameras, in front of other people, and nobody (aside from the reporters, who are gobsmacked and clamoring for more) looks even remotely fazed by it. They’re looking at him in a way that says “that’s our Shane,” not “holy shit, he really just did that.”
As Shane walks off, completely at ease, Hayden feels two diametrically opposed emotions. On one hand, there’s a guilt gnawing at him. How awful were the Metros that Shane never felt comfortable enough to be himself and talk like this after a game? How had he not noticed? Had he taken his own privilege, his own glimpses at the gremlin that is Shane Hollander, for granted? Fuck, had he failed his friend?
On the other hand, Hayden’s excited for his friend and for the rest of the season. This Shane is comfortable enough to truly be himself and he’s going to be a complete, unapologetic, grade A problem for everyone. Hayden can’t wait to watch it happen.
i really am tickled by the idea of scott hunter being canonically only 3 yrs older than ilya and catching stray after stray for being old. yet also in my mind cliff is fully in his mid 30s when ilya is a rookie and whenever they get drunk together cliff gets emotional and is like “do you think im washed lil bro…..” and ilya is like “NO are you kidding me……you are stud…..just now in your prime…..”
“you think she’s pretty” Jem says to Will about Tessa and he avoids the topic. Jem sees what Will doesn’t say. there is nothing serious that is said in that conversation. Jem blaming himself once he and Tessa are no more ENRAGES ME. I feel bad that Jem blames himself that he and Tessa almost married. (it reminds me of Matthew apologizing for liking Cordelia when she’s with James.) JEM JEM, THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT OR BURDEN TO CARRY. the fact that Will could do the most heinous thing to Jem and Jem would turn around and blame himself. this is why after Will finds out about his fake curse is some of the worst writing done in TID. Jem shouldn’t be feeling any remorse for anything. he is a fucking angel. the fact that Will was treating everyone like shit and then everyone is “aw, he’s been through a lot” that doesn’t erase what he’s done. Jem and Tessa in TID always leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially when Tessa seems to be more in love with Will. you’ve got Jem Carstairs on your arm and you don’t even care??? how everyone accepts Wills behavior is INSANE. Jem feeling any guilt for feelings he has yet Will gets almost everyone’s sympathy? fucking exhausting and insulting.
I was inspired by this post to write about how I think this would go...
****
It's 1:30am when Marleau calls. Ilya would have slept through it if Shane hadn't wacked him in the face with a pillow and mumbled "Dude, your phone is ringing, make it stop."
"Oh." Ilya rubs his eyes and picks up his phone. "It's Marly."
"Probably drunk calling you again." Shane says into his pillow.
"I will just make sure he is alright. Go back to sleep." Ilya says, running a hand through Shane's hair.
"Mmmm...kay.."
He heads out of the dark bedroom, tripping on a pair of disarded pants (his), closes the door behind him and switches on the hallway light. "Marly, are you calling me because you forgot your address to tell the Uber driver again..."
He stops, because it sounds like the person on the other end of the phone is crying. Ilya pauses, double checks. Yup, it's Marleau's name on the screen.
"Roz, I'm sorry, bro...."
"Are you okay? What's going on?"
His best friend hiccups. "I...I..."
"Marly, what is it? What did you do?"
"I'm straight!" Marleau almost wails.
Ilya sits down on the floor, his back against the bedroom door. If this is a dream it is a very weird one.
"Um.. okay... I know that. Why are you telling me this in the middle of the night?"
"Because I tried. I really tried, okay, I promise." Marly's voice is slurred, his words running into each other. Okay, so Shane was right about the drunk part...
"You tried what?"
"Guys, Roz, guys! Well, one guy. Figured I should just start with the one guy. And at first it was okay, kissing him was fine, and I liked it when he sucked my dick, that was really good, but then I went to suck his and it was just weird and gross! It tasted all sweaty and I didn't know what to do with my teeth and my tongue and then he told me to fuck him and I figured I could do that, cause he was like, turned around, so I thought it would be just like with a girl, but his balls were right there and I swear they were looking at me, and I... I couldn't do it! I made him leave..I'm sorry."
Marleau takes a breath for the first time and Ilya takes the oppertunity to jump in. "Marly, are you telling me you got drunk and hooked up with a guy?"
"What? No, the drunk part came later. I figured I had to be sober to see if I really liked it."
Ilya pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "Okay, yeah, good, that's... I guess that's good." He takes a deep breath. "What guy? Where did you find him?"
"On Grindr."
"What?!"
"Well yeah, it seemed like the quickest way."
"Since when are you on Grindr?"
"Um, since this afternoon. I made a profile saying I was curious. I got a lot of matches, and this one guy said he would show me what I was missing, so I just invited him over."
"Oh my god, Marly, you're lucky you didn't get murdered! Okay, so you tried it and it wasn't for you, that's fine." Ilya says. "I don't understand why you're so upset about it."
"Because..." Marleau sniffs. "I thought maybe I could be bisexual too. You know, like you. But I'm not, okay, I'm not and I'm sorry, and... and..." he hiccups. "Are we even still going to be best friends if we can't talk about sucking dick together?" he wails.
"Marly, what the hell do you mean?"
"Well you know, that's how we bond, you and me, we talk about the girls we like and hook up with, and all that, and now you're like, in a proper relationship with a dude, and that's totally great, I'm happy for you, you know that, but that means you're never gonna be interested in girls again, so like, what are we even going to talk about?"
Ilya puts the phone on his knee so he can rub both his eyes."Marly. Bro. Are you telling me you hooked up with a guy because you thought it make us stay friends?"
"Well, I don't know. I'm sure you have all these gay friends now who you can talk to about fucking guys, so maybe you don't need me anymore and..."
"Marleau, you beautiful idiot." Ilya interrupts. "I can't believe I have to actually say this, but I am not friends with you just so I have someone to talk to about my hookups."
"You're not?"
"No. I am friends with you because I like you as a person."
"Really?"
"Yes. I promise."
Marleau sniffs again. "Okay. So I'm still your best friend?"
"Yes."
"Cool, that's cool."
They are both quiet for a few seconds. Marleau blows his nose.
"I cannot believe you sucked a guy's dick just to try to stay friends with me." Ilya says.
"Shut up." Marleau sounds almost like himself again. Crisis averted.
"No seriously, I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me..."
"Fuck you."
Ilya laughs, and he can hear Marleau laugh too. "I'm going back to bed now, okay? Will you be alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"Okay, I love you, dude. Even if you are straight."
"Thanks Roz. I needed to hear that. Love you too."
Ilya hangs up, chuckles to himself. Then he gets up, goes back to the bedroom, switching on the big light. "Shane, wake up, you are going to freak when you hear what Marly just did!"
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