HEWWO DOCTOW FWUED DID YOUWU GET MY EMAIWS

20s theythem

[spineless-lobster]

The em dash is a type of phallus that authors use to jerk off sentences

[molabuddy]

when u plug a phone into a computer the comupter always charges the phone even if she has less charge than the phone bc the computer thinks that due to her size she always needs to provide for those smaller than her even when it hurts her more than it helps others. btw

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I forgot that Americans spell it "mommy" and that therefore "strong as fuck ice mummy" was unabiguously about some sort of undead ice lich, and not ambiguously also about a sort of buff frosty milf archetype like I had been imagining for most of the past couple of years

[cipheramnesia]

I like the way you're thinking, and I want to fund further research on frosty milfs.

[financeprincess]

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

[darkcomedies]

sometimes the author’s barely disguised fetish is YOUR barely disguised fetish and has nothing to do with the author at all

[darkcomedies]

hey so a bunch of people have taken this post as an opportunity to decry interpreting media sexually/suggestively at all and it’s pissing me off. joining the war on eroticism on the side of eroticism. #ThatCigaretteIsAPenis

[bitethebullets]

the loss of the audio jack is due to puritan culture hating on penetration

[biteybeast]

they call it "umami" bc it makes you go oooo mommy

[junglejim4322]

had a panic attack so bad post panic attack calm felt almost the same as post orgasm calm. Makes you think

[floridakilo]

"Perhaps all pleasure is only relief" -William S Burroughs

[saltshroud]

all blue

[escuerzoresucitado]

[michellegun-deactivated20230629]

guy who has never seen a pussy before "wow looks just like the wound of jesus christ"

[ghoulchurch]

Lowkey we should create a giant manmade blood device to attract ticks away from humans and its a giant blood container that pumps like a heart and emits phermones that attract ticks and mosquitos and we should call it Mother

[labcorphehe-deactivated20260118]

person i work with says his wife allows him 1 diet coke a day

[rebbellsinchad]

I feel bad for him

[labcorphehe-deactivated20260118]

i do not he’s cool and loves his wife

[powerburial]

while this may appear to be a case of a domineering wife controlling a weak man, it actually represents a mutual interplay of fantasy and control. the wife does not and cannot really control the amount of diet coke the man drinks in a day. if he wanted to drink more, she very likely would be unable to physically restrain him in order to stop him from doing so (picture this in your head NOW). what is likely happening, is that the man himself does not want to drink more than one diet coke per day. he has a short-term desire to drink an infinite amount of diet coke, which he has little control over. he idealizes himself as a man who can control how much diet coke that he drinks, and the distance between his idealized self and his current self generates psychic tension. by externalizing the locus of control to his wife, he frees himself from his own judgment and expectations, and releases himself from the burden of self-imposed restraint. he offers the control to his wife, like a gift, and she gladly accepts. she enjoys the fantasy of having control over his diet coke habits, and he enjoys the relief the externalized locus of control brings to him. this represents a mutual dynamic in which both parties are healthy and happy, and neither party is truly controlling the other. in addition to that, I'm gay.

[dogpuppy]

[noodles-07]

I think digging yourself out of a grave probably feels really theraputic. just bare hands and dirt. splinters from the rotted coffin-wood under your skin, blood under your nails, dirt on your face and in your lungs, grit between your teeth, clothes damp and cool from the earth, clawing toward the surface with an animal abandon. I bet that first gasp of fresh air once you get out tastes like a baptism, with the literal weight of the world falling away in clots of mud as you stumble back to life

[stuckinapril]

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

[facelessoldgargoyle]

its ok daddy. the nature of the world is transient, yet recurrent. we’re trapped in the cycle of samsara and the obliteration of our egos is the only escape.

[cipheramnesia]

And until then there's t4t kinky sex.

[actualmothfluffs]

Yeah, what do you think “obliteration of our egos” means? You’re closer to enlightenment than you think

[cipheramnesia]

I thought it said "obliteration of our eggs"

[kitkat-245]

Since watering means giving something water but milking means extracting milk from something that must means that water's default is to give but milk's default is to take. So water must be inherently kind while milk is cruel