Bringing the Sass Since 1985

[pardonmysass]

Some Thoughts on The Vampire Lestat & The Devil's Minion

After episodes 3 (Toronto) and 4 (The Devil's Road) of The Vampire Lestat and a deep dive into The Devil's Minion (fandom's second favorite pairing, Armand/Daniel), I have some guesses about what we're going to see in either the rest of the season (or, who knows, season 4) regarding our beloved old man and his pet sociopath. Spoilers under the cut!

So I read The Vampire Chronicles all the way back in high school (like every good little emo boy or girl) and I remember almost none of it, apart from enjoying it. So my surprise to finding out that Daniel and Armand are canon, to a point, in the books felt kind of foolish. Especially when I realized it was encapsulated in chapter 4 of Queen of the Damned, arguably my favorite in the series. But 2002 was a long time ago and if it gets me to do a reread, I'm not going to complain about it.

I've loved the idea of Armand and Daniel since watching season 2 of IWTV, mostly because I adore the idea of Daniel being a grown man when he is turned. A man who has lived a complete life and was coming to terms with his mortality, rather than a relatively young man who suffered from substance addiction and met a charming vampire before his frontal lobe finished forming. This changes the power balance significantly because Daniel may be a fledgling, but he is no child. He experienced mortality for longer than any vamp he's ever met or heard of (maybe minus Santiago) and he won't stand for any of your guff, young man.

I think, should they decide to go this route in the show (which I firmly believe they will as both Assad and Eric have expressed real interest in the idea), it won't be so much a minion enthralled by his master. I mean, we've already seen that with Armand trying to make amends. Daniel has been there, done that, thinks the whole thing is bullshit. There is little Armand can do to impress him. Which, given that we know that Armand is a people-pleasing, manipulative little bitch, has got to be a huge sore spot.

So what do I think is going to happen? Well, to answer that question, I want to touch on some of the theories I've seen going around the fandom regarding this particular ship. Specifically, I want to talk about the theory that Alice, Daniel's first wife, was actually Armand. The most coocoo bananas theory that I 100% believe is true. Given Armand's propensity to change people's memories to suit his narrative, it would not surprise me in the least. I mean think about it:

After Daniel is healed and sent on his way, Armand and Louis take some time apart because this is a toxic AF relationship and they likely couldn't stand each other after. It wouldn't shock me at all if Louis left Armand behind for, oh say, 12 years? And in that time, a vamp like Armand gets bored, so he turns to his latest plaything, curious to see what he would do. I think the relationship in the books happened, but Armand manipulated his memory so that he would never really remember. Hell, maybe Alice does exist, but Armand was also there, coming in and out of the shadows. The confusion that Daniel felt had to have been wild and could definitely have led to a very real divorce.

So, ok. The Devil's Minion as we know in canon existed and we may start to see glimpses of it now that Daniel is given the Dark Gift (with no receipt to return, how rude). I believe that, now that Armand has reentered the picture, those glimpses of memory will start to come fast and furious. Especially given the second half of my theory, which is tied to how we see Armand return.

At the end of episode 3, we find Alex, newly separated from his band (formerly Satan's Night Out, then renamed The Vampire Lestat) and in Alcoholics Anonymous. He is being vulnerable and sharing his story when it goes to the next person's turn. We hear a familiar voice introduce himself as Arun and the camera pans over to Armand's beautiful, ostensibly angelic face.

The next episode shows Alex returning to the band. He is received warmly, most notably by Lestat. Lestat made it clear super early on that Alex was the only one he really respected in the band. So having him back must feel like a relief. At one point, his brother Larry pulls him aside to ask him what happened and say how happy he is about Alex's return and Alex is surprisingly reticent about what he did while gone. All he mentions is that he met someone, someone who is sort of mentoring him. When pressed, Alex just calls him a god. Of course, we know this to be Armand (unless I've been handed a HUGE red herring, which is entirely possible). So, given what we know now, given what we know of Armand's relationship to Daniel in the books and the potential changes in the series, my theory is this:

Armand is going to make Alex his minion to recreate his original relationship to Daniel, both to torment him and get him to remember.

I know. No, really, I know. It's crazy and petty and totally unnecessary if Armand has the ability to help Daniel remember anyway. But that is exactly why I think he would do it. Because he is crazy and he is petty. I mean, he spent most of season 1 pretending to be Rashid and then spent all of season 2 desperately trying to keep Louis from the truth that he hid for like 7 decades. He absolutely would take a human and dangle him like bait in front of Daniel in order to annoy him.

Some reasons behind my theory:

First, Alex is about the right age. Like, I'm not 100% sure how old he is, but he strikes me as close in age as Daniel was when Armand first met him.

Two, he was in Al Anon and very vulnerable, not unlike Daniel was when he was in the throes of addiction in the 1970s.

Three, Armand seems like the type to hold a massive grudge and having his carefully crafted illusion shattered after so long by an upstart he left in the 80s had to have pissed him all the way off.

Finally, there is enough resemblance there between Alex and young Daniel to unwillingly spark some memories. I mean look at them:

Like, not a 1:1 comparison, but close enough to ring some bells. Enough for Daniel to see himself in a young, tortured artist struggling in recovery and making cow eyes at someone older and more experienced.

In the books (and please correct me if I'm wrong!), the band is largely inconsequential to the story. They are around until things go south and then they fade back into obscurity. In this, they have a much larger role, particularly when Lestat is coming to terms with his own art. Alex, to my mind, should not be as big a character as he is. I felt like he should have been like the other members: present, but mostly ignored. They are setting him up for something and that is what I think it is.

But of course, we won't know until we know! And if they don't do this in the show, this would make for a really bitchin' fanfic for anyone interested in writing it! Would love to know anyone's thoughts here!

[pardonmysass]

Catching up on The Vampire Lestat and I swear, City Council of Darkness has rotted my brain because--

when Lestat's vampirehood is revealed to the his band and everyone else, I legit started yelling, "NO DON'T WORRY IT'S A BANKSY! IT'S A BANKSY!"

[pardonmysass]

So, I watched Scream 7

I decided to sneaky stream Scream 7 and I have some Thoughts (TM). If you don't like spoilers, scroll on, otherwise, check under the cut!

Of course, I wasn't going to give this movie my money after they did Melissa Barrera so dirty, but as a longtime lover of this franchise, I really wanted to see it, especially as they brought back Matthew Lillard for it.

The essential premise is that Sidney has now officially moved on and is living her best life running a coffee shop in Pine Grove with her husband and her 17 year old daughter, Tatum (named after Rose McGowan's character in the first movie). Ghostface returns and now we're seeing that it may be Stu Macher, even though he was supposed to have died back in 1996. It would seem he's back and has put a big target on both Sidney and Tatum, taking us full circle 30 years later.

Like all Scream movies, this one is a fairly obvious metacommentary on both the slasher genre and current technology. The plot of 7 toys with the idea of AI and video streaming (though in this case, it's mainly done through security feeds, not social media). We are never certain until the end whether Stu actually was alive until the very end.

When Jessica is found to be the main Ghostface of the film (the other two being, essentially, underlings), we are then treated to a commentary on parasocial behavior and how it can go too far. For the first time, the killer is not directly tied to Sidney or her past. It's not her boyfriend (S1), her boyfriend's mom (S2), her half-brother (S3) or her niece (S4, which is still the strangest one in the franchise - like, we literally never see or here from Sidney's sister in any sense ever again).

In this case, we find a fan of Sidney's book, Out of Darkness, which is a plot point in 4. It's basically a self-help book that Sidney wrote to help her heal from her own trauma and maybe help those looking for a way out of their own. Jessica, in an abusive marriage, finds solace in the book and, for reasons I can't figure out, sees it as her sign to kill her husband as a way out of her own trauma. But Sidney doesn't show up in NY (referencing Neve Campbell not appearing in Scream 5 and 6) and it drives her to enter a psychiatric facility, wherein she meets her partners in crime.

I think often about the unsaid social contract between consumer (whether of music, books, film or other types of art) and creator. How the creator's only job is to create and the consumer is not entitled to anything more than the fruit of that labor. I understand finding comfort and relating to these creators. Who among us has not gotten flustered or starstruck when meeting a hero? Or felt a connection that feels like it transcends the work? I remember feeling so seen when I read about Sean Astin's social anxiety in his memoir, for example. The knowledge that you're not alone, that there is someone you admire who maybe at times has thoughts and feelings that align with yours? That is heady to say the least.

In this case, there is something in how Jessica felt connected via a self-help book. Having run some of the self-development gamut myself, I've seen women like her in real life, that see these types of books or programs as permission to do things they maybe shouldn't (I say maybe because I honestly don't know what the level of abuse she experienced was and so I won't judge her for that part, at least). This is something I need to noodle on a bit more, I think.

With the rise of AI and deep fakes (both of which, I should state here, I am vehemently against), I found the "Is he or isn't he?" subplot with Stu to be fun and fascinating to play with. It also brought back Matthew Lillard, who is just an overall treasure even if he is playing a murderous psycho. Honestly, though I did find it interesting, I found myself wishing for Stu to be alive after all. First, it would have given good closure for Sidney to actually get him once and for all. Second, I loved the idea of him being ballsy enough to just out himself at the beginning. But the fact that it leaves us guessing was still a fun trope!

That all being said, I do feel that 7 is close to 4 in rank for weakest sequel. It does heavily lean on nostalgia, which Mindy helpfully points out. The red herrings were too numerous and, for the most part too obvious (like they didn't need to make the theater teacher Like That, you know?). Personally, I think Ethan Embry should have been a red herring. It was way too easy to guess him, given his own history with the horror genre. I also think he was criminally underutilized, given that he is such an amazing actor and really would have added something more to the story. I also feel that way with Jessica, we barely get any time with her (though I clocked her pretty quickly).

I also think, and this may or may not be a hot take, that 7 is far too brutal. Yes, this is a slasher series, but did we need to have Lucas impaled on a beer tap or her mom's face literally shot off? The thing I like about the Scream series is that it didn't rely on overkill to get the job done, so to speak. It's still bloody, but this was just upsetting. I'm reminded of when I watched Fear Street on Netflix. It was a fun show, but I could have done without some of the more blatant and upsetting scenes.

Overall, Scream 7 is...not bad. I'm always happy to see Neve and Courtney together again. I think we could have taken out of one the subplots and cleaned it up a little so it would be a stronger film. Despite the brutality, some of the practical effects are FANTASTIC - when Ghostface appears and disappears among the tarps in the garage when Mark is investigating? Genius! It's a solid film, but not my favorite in the series. That honor stays with 1 and 5.

But what do you think? I may need to watch it again, but I would love to know anyone's thoughts!

[ghazal67]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

this is literally how i dance

[askinfresh]

This went from “wow that’s pretty neat” to “WTF ITS ALIVE” real quick

[excima]

she did that

[spooky-pens]

If I don’t reblog this Puerto Rican ass mouse assume that I’m dead.

[mahrahpalestine]

Israel Hayom:

Netanyahu and Trump may discuss tomorrow the possibility of a mass exodus of Palestinians from the Gaza Strip,

In response, the occupation has been trying to restrict the entry of goods into Gaza in recent days, especially with the approach of the month of Ramadan, during which we fast and need more food than in previous days.

Help us secure our needs; any donation makes a difference in our lives.

[sashayed]

700 ICE agents pulled out of minnesota? morale low on the murder squad due to getting their asses caved in by your grandma in -30 weather every day for weeks on top of being dupes and stooges of the most pathetic order? ohhhh gosh.......ohhhhhhhhh too bad. what a fun time to send $15 to the Stand With Minnesota org of your choice

[wakingfromthewater]

Tumblrites, the hour has come for us to practice one of our most sacred rituals.

Likes to charge, reblogs to cast.

[drst]

Heads up my trans and queer friends, do not participate in this study. Spread the word to stay away;

Skeet from Alejandra Caraballo that says: If you see this, don't participate. It's a rigged study by Lisa Littman and unethical researcher J. Michael Bailey meant to undermine access to care. Spread the word.

[evenmorecrows]

here's an article about this. any statistics of this study are extremely likely to be nitpicked or outright edited for whatever narrative they want to push with it. (specifically, it's likely they're fishing for "evidence" of "rapid-onset gender dysphoria".)

[colinfirth]

A LITTLE PRINCESS 1995 — dir. Alfonso Cuarón

[pardonmysass]

I will be first to admit there are problematic elements to this film (the terrible orientalism and the trope of the "mystical foreigner"). But it's hard to not fall in love with the lush beauty and yearning for something more in this film.

[naughtynanzhu]

Immigration officers assert sweeping power to enter homes without a judge's warrant, memo says

An Immigration and Customs Enforcement memo obtained by The Associated Press reveals that the agency allows immigration officers to forcibly

[telestatica]

" ... Was nothing real? "

¨ You were real. That's what made you so good to watch ¨

[how-to-be-a-grouch]

Daryl Cagle, November 23, 2003

[wingstothesun]

Going to add something here as a few people in the notes don't know the significance of the date here, or think this might be a dig at Sesame Street somehow - on November 18th, 2003, there was an absolutely landmark legal case in the state of Massachusetts that ruled that civil unions in that state needed to be given the same rights as marriage. This was HUGE - gay marriage was not legally recognized in any state at the time, and civil unions were the closest you could get. This is a WONDERFULLY hopeful, sweet comic drawn five whole days after an enormous, major step forward for gay marriage POSSIBLY being legal. Massachusetts wouldn't even properly legalize gay marriage until May 2004, and it was the first state to do so.

You can Google Goodridge v Department of Public Health for more details.

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[homunculus-argument]

I wish librarians made book collection display things in the same style as those oddly specific person portrait starterpack memes or those oldschool tumblr aesthetic moodboards. A table with an one-sentence summary of a person, "your mom's friend who only ever wears purple", full of very distinctly specific kind of poetry that kind of a woman reads, and a book or two about red wine or the history of dark chocolate.

"The 50-something outdoors guy" with a stack of different kind of DIY woodworking books, a bird identification guide, books about building your own grill, how to make your own sausages, and 500 worst jokes to tell your family while grilling.

"Has a crush on an art student" that's full of books on The Very Basics of art history, collections of confusing rambly essays about modernism, and at least one book titled something like "how to look at modern art when you don't know what you're looking at."

"Weird wolf girl", that's stacked with the biggest, thickest, cheesiest fantasy books that this specific kind of 11-year-old will devour voraciously. High chance of Warrior Cats.

[aliceat97point3]

Stealing this for work.

[homunculus-argument]

You can't steal it, I'm giving it away like confetti. I want these in libraries if anyone has enough time at work to make them.

[70sscifiart]

Richard Bober's 1978 cover art for 13 More Stories They Wouldn't Let Me Do On TV

[arthistoryfeed]

Detail of a fruit-bearing tree from the Great Palace Mosaics. Culture: Early Byzantine. Date: c. 6th century AD (Justinian I era). Medium: Floor mosaic featuring limestone, terracotta, and glass tesserae. Collection: Great Palace Mosaic Museum, Istanbul, Turkey. Photo licensed by me.

[saucefunk]

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

[killyridols]

2.4 by hagan nguyen, 2022, hahnemuhle metallic rag