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The only thing I would add is an
EGO BUFFER: Try to be at peace with your limitations, failures, and accept the impossibility of some of your dreams and desires.
I think this is the most important buffer for “smart, high achieving” people, especially if they were “gifted children”. There are a large number of cults and exploitative groups that collect ambitious and motivated people. From NXIVM to MLMs, these groups prey on your desire to succeed at your goals. Many of us create these goals at a young age, and they are often in response to some sort of emotional or psychological drive rather than a practical plan. The drive is usually for appreciation, admiration, and recognition from other people.
Cults can draw you in by saying that you are amazing and you just need some help reaching your potential. THIS IS A DANGEROUS TRAP. It is just as likely that your goals are not reasonable, or not possible given your situation and the overall conditions in society. In my job everyone wants to be a famous animator, beloved by peers and audiences, but if the economy is downturning and the industry is contracting, your opportunities to achieve that dream become much, much harder in ways that are beyond your control.
We are currently in a moment of social upheaval and economic precarity. This will likely get much much worse in the next 20 years due to climate change. In combination with the hyper achieving parenting trends of the last 20 years, I’m very concerned for GenZ on this front.
People often have grand plans for their life, and precarity can create insurmountable barriers to achieving these plans. Then people feel lost, angry, embarrassed, afraid, and desperate. They feel they have already put too much effort in to their life plans to quit (known as the sunk cost fallacy) and start searching for more and more fringe support that continues to motivate them towards an impossible goal. Their friends and family may even ask them to try something else, or become less enthusiastic in their support, leading the person to cutting those people off for others who “support them” and “push them to be better people”. This makes the isolation tactics of cults very easy, as they don’t have to do a lot of convincing.
I once heard someone say “never have a plan B, or you won’t fully commit to your dreams” and it was the stupidest possible advice to ever grace the written language. This was a common refrain for millennials during the great recession. We were the canary in the coal mine for this, and there were a significant number of people who bought into it. It will be much worse for Gen Z because now it isn’t about jobs or buying a house like it was for us. It’s hard to suck someone into a house buying cult, and yet it definitely happened. MLMs boomed under millennials. Every single one of my high-school friends ended up selling essential oils, let me tell you.
HAVE A PLAN B. And a plan C. And a plan D. Better yet, work to love yourself and believe in the value of your life even if you never succeed at all. It’s okay to just vibe, do a job because it pays the bills, do art because its fun, and get educated in a subject just because you like it. You do not have to be rich, or successful, or famous, or powerful to be happy. You do not need to reach your imaginary relationship goals. Instead of cutting out people who don’t support you in impossible dreams, cut out or set boundaries with people who demand success in exchange for loving you. If your parents only love you when you get an A+, they are devaluing you and being total garbage. Most likely they are trying to be successful vicariously through you or maintain the reputation they built for themselves in easier times. Millennials had to face the disappointment of our parents when we never reached the milestones they did like home ownership and stable careers. You know all those articles about how terrible millennials were? Those were written by our parents. The reason why people feel comfortable hating boomers is because millennials turned on them first. We had to tell our parents to go fuck themselves or they would die alone without their kids.
The best way to avoid these cults of ambition is to be a happy slacker. Do the level of effort that allows you to enjoy your life in the moment. Don’t hinge your self love and happiness on crossing the finish line, it’s better to just enjoy the journey.
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as a cult survivor who’s spent a half-decade diving into academic research on how these groups work, here are some quality, public-friendly educational resources to help you learn what high control groups look like, how they work, and the methods they use to influence, draw in, and control/coerce literally anyone.
education about this subject is SO important—high control environments and their methods for influencing and controlling people often go totally unnoticed unless you’ve learned about them, and there’s a long history of mainstream misinformation on what thought reform and cults are, what they look like, and how they work. there’s also a huge misconception that “no way that could be me!” when unfortunately, because of how high control influence works, it’s possible for anyone to get drawn into a high control group or relationship without realizing that’s what it actually is.
Cults/High Control Groups and Influence 101:
BITE Model by Steven Hassan: useful criteria for identifying undue influence and high control groups/cults. A good starting point.
Cult Research & Information Center website by Dr. Janja Lalich: comprehensive resource center for cult education AND cult survivor healing. For cult survivors, Janja Lalich’s books “Take Back Your Life” and “Escaping Utopia” are very highly recommended.
Dr. Janja Lalich “How Online Conspiracy Groups Compare to Cults” Interview. Dr. Lalich is back at it again with easily accessible but highly informed information about cult groups, especially online-based groups and nonreligious cults.
“Is Trump a Cult Leader? A Scientific Perspective” by Telltale. This video has a catchy title, but the creator does a great job on 1) knowing his stuff, and 2) explaining what’s required to be a cult, and what does/doesn’t qualify as a cult. The video also has really interesting insight/analysis on the current conspiracy theory cult movements we have today (QAnon, flat earthers, anti-vaxxers). The channel is a good source on both those subjects, as well as groups like the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath (Emmy award-winning TV series, it’s on US Netflix now). Really digs into the specifics of Scientology, but they do a great job portraying to the general public how cults operate, and how even a destructive cult can recruit people, cover up abuses, evade the law, and keep members within the group.
Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (2020 Docuseries, available on Amazon Prime Video)
The Last Stop: The True Story of the Elan School (Warning: All of the TWs.) Film on the Troubled Teen Industry, aka what happened when the War on Drugs combined with the 1960s anti-drug cult Synanon and LGAT seminars to create a still-active billion dollar industry of cult-based institutional child abuse in the name of teen rehabilitation. There is actual footage, use the trailer to gauge your limits. Spoiler: fuck Nancy Reagan.
If The Last Stop is too triggering, try the video “The Elan School: Death by Misinformation” by iiluminaughtii. It’s shorter and based off of The Last Stop, and gives you some of the information from The Last Stop in a less harrowing/triggering delivery format.
Wellness/Self-Help Cults, including Corporate Cult Seminars/Workshops:
LuLaRich (2021 Docuseries, available on Amazon Prime Video). Highly recommended, uses LuLaRoe as a case study on MLMs. Also covers how MLMs can develop into abusive cults.
“What is the Landmark Forum?” by iiluminaughtii. A 101 on the cult corporate seminar industry. Landmark is one of the most well-known examples of a corporate seminar/workshop cult.
Also check out Lifespring and Large-Group Awareness Training (LGAT) seminars. These are 1000% endemic, and yes, they’re high control groups. Their seminar methods are all various implementations of abusive high control tactics. Not good :(
Cult Origins of and Ongoing Destructive Cult Presence in the Modern US Drug Rehabilitation, Residential Treatment, and Troubled Teen Industries (including anti-LGBTQ conversion therapy camps):
“Help at Any Cost” by Maia Szalavitz (can’t recommend enough)
“Running My Anger: The Legacy of the CEDU Cult” by Medium Anonymous
The Awareness and Investigate sections of the Unsilenced Project website.
Current Survivor Activism/Support: Unsilenced; r/troubledteens; WWASP Survivors
Scientology: Fair Game Podcast with Leah Remini and Mike Rinder
Mormon Stories Podcast (very good resource re: Mormonism, as well as other experiences of fundamentalist religions)
Leaving Eden Podcast (focuses on US fundamentalist Christianity, but does branch out a bit)
A Little Bit Culty podcast. This podcast is hosted by former NXIVM members Sarah and Nippy, who are now cult education and survivor healing advocates. Episode 2 (titled “Cults 101”) introduces what cults are and why humans are universally vulnerable to cult abuse.
This list seems really long, but I actually cut a lot out. These links are meant to be easy-access for a general audience, but there are many more great resources besides these ones I’ve mentioned above :)
LAST UPDATED: Jan 26, 2022
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Also suggested viewing: “The Deep End,” on Hulu, about an online “spiritual teacher” who may be helpful to some in small doses (all cults offer SOMETHING, nobody ever joins a cult for the cult!) but gets increasingly scary the closer you get to the center.
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So the bigger part is to not slavishly focus on B.I.T.E., which, while great back in the day is definitely going to cause problems. Already see a lot from the notes, calling fandom things cults, the focus on tik tok being a big source while using things from there that wouldn’t have been out of place here up to a decade ago. The big part of BITE and cults in general is that it’s always seeking to isolate you from anybody who might try to extricate you. NXIVM is actually a good reference here, because cults are basically just MLMs with a semi-spiritual side.
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Search up the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Form if you are unsure if the group you are in is coercive. It is more specific than BITE, which can be useful to neurodivergents or twig people onto “oh, this is actually not okay.”
Sometimes people don’t know that something is abusive! Especially if they’re being manipulated! Having specifics before you can really help pop the unreality bubble these asshats build up. ——————————————————————————————
Podcasts that are helpful:
Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and the Abuse of Power
The Influence Continuum with Dr. Steven Hassan
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GenZ here, I feel our generation is seeing an evolution of what counts as a Cult.
I guess it’s best described as a cult obsessed with the aesthetics of science and intelligentsia as the old ways of spirits and religion go.
I feel a great example of this would be Canadian Psychology Jordan Peterson and his fans (from experience talking to fans through YouTube comments, and other stuff I’ve learned about the guy and his audience. It’s not really that Peterson says anything Brave (his teachings when scrubbed of their overly flowery language are very basic and usually fall into conservative talking points), but rather because he provides a greater purpose to the problems of masculinity a lot of his fans have. They will fight you to the death to prove him right on everything because if he is wrong, then maybe the sense of purpose he gives them is also wrong.
This is what I feel separates the Cults of my generation from the cults previous (though these elements were definitely there) , it’s that the aesthetics of science and intellectualism are now dominant. Creator gods have been replaced with “Simulation theory”, Pascals Wager has been given a Skynet sheen to form “Roko’s Basilisk”, Magic and Spirits have been replaced with “Quantum Mysticism”, Pandora’s box and the eating of the Apple by Eve has been replaced with Alpha wolf dynamics and Lobster Heirarchies, and Armageddon and Battle of Good and Evil has been replaced with Qanon’s variation of the Day of the Rope. It’s What brings people to Elon Musk and his hair-brained sci-fi projects. Its the motivation for religious people to deny science like with Flat Earth and Anti Evolution. It’s everywhere.
The environment I am describing is based right now in ego though. The people flocking to this kind of stuff see religion as done and stupid but still lack a sense of purpose. This smart look provides the sense that the leader is smart and you are smart for agreeing with him, which plays into their wants to fight bro prove the leader a god amongst man.
Currently though, these have not formed into traditional cult hierarchies, and I feel the internet makes this a lot harder to achieve. But I feel this is a trend that should be looked out for as much as the spread of Alien and Wicca based faiths through Tiktok, Wellness cults, and Modern Spirituality. Because if the rise in Facism motivated terrorist attacks in recent years have shown, riling people into an apocalyptic fervour and waiting for them to act on that fervour, is very powerful.
P.S. I am not religious, It’s actually a major reason why I find this a bad thing. It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing in all senses of the term, and like Aum Shinrikyo and Heaven’s gate before us, it’s the ones that prey on peoples desire to feel smart that hurt people the most.
I can only say that I hope I’m wrong
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And here’s an easy, but BIG tip: You can have your own opinion. The minute that anyone starts to tell you that you’re wrong because you don’t think like them-walk the fuck away. And this is something that Gen Z tends to have trouble with. Most likely because they have only known the “us vs them” partisan mindset. But, you can disagree on many things and still be friends. Just because someone thinks cancel culture has gotten out of control, because we are all human, doesn’t mean they are advocating for pedophilia or an anything goes agenda. And someone who believes in marriage equality isn’t trying to force you to marry someone who is your same sex. Respectfully disagreeing is total good, in my opinion. If you aren’t allowed to question things, how do you really know what you believe?
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Also please remember that no one is immune! The first mistake you can make is thinking this can never happen to you. That’s when you let your guard down and lose awareness. Stay vigilant!
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Learn from multiple sources, even ones you don’t like or respect
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I mean this with all the love in my heart:
EVERYONE is susceptible to cults when the circumstances are right. No matter how smart or educated or critical or whatever you are, if the tactics are meant to draw you in, they can and will!
People who join cults aren’t stupid. Thinking you are too smart to join a cult can, in fact, put you at risk as you are not looking out for signs.
Please keep a balance between educating yourself and moral panics, but keep your critical thinking skills sharp.
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I didn’t see it in the comments, so this is a link to the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Form.
