Turned On And Confused

Jen. Irish. Sick beat enthusiast Twitter: callmejeffi Instagram: playthebellsjen

[criticalrole-incorrectquotes]

(Jester): you two are having sex!

(Caleb): really? Mollymauk why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

[criticalrole-incorrectquotes]

(Scanlan): any ideas on how we are going to defeat vecna?

(Vex): I’m not suppose to have any ideas, I’m the hot one.

(Vax): hold up, I’m pretty positive I’m the hot one.

[criticalrole-incorrectquotes]

(Caduceus): I’m sorry to tell you but your condition is chronic.

(Mollymauk): you selling chronic?

(Caduceus): please, you are really sick.

(Mollymauk): haha thanks.

[criticalrole-incorrectquotes]

(Jester): I have a feeling we should kiss.

(Fjord): I sometimes have a feeling I should do crystal meth, but then I think, “hmm, better not.”

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i just read a washington post article on romcoms aging poorly due to the pushiness (and oft-stalkery conduct) of the male characters therein, and it got me thinking about pride and prejudice, and specifically darcy saying, “one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

because, like, that’s the seldom-portrayed romantic dream in the patriarchal hellscape that is our world, isn’t it?

a dude being willing to say, “i understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, and i’ll leave you alone forever about this if my attention is unwanted.”

so simple, yet so wonderful in its basic human decency

[adulthoodisokay]

and dudes to this day wonder why women still swoon over darcy

[thathealeygirl]

Note also: Elizabeth turns down Darcy’s first proposal, and in the process, accuses him of doing some stuff he did not do (and also some stuff he totally did).

The next day, he surprises her on her walk. He hands her a letter, asks that she read it, and then takes off.

When this happened to me after I had turned someone down IN REAL LIFE, the letter contained a passionate argument to the tune of “actually you’re wrong and you do like me and you should go out with me” and it was creepy af.

Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth starts with: “Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you”. He goes on to set the record straight about the stuff he didn’t do (as well as the stuff he did) which is *actually relevant* to Elizabeth. And he, as promised, doesn’t romance her further.

It’s totally bizarre that even now, this can be considered unusually great dude behaviour.

[pluckyredhead]

Darcy’s first proposal: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

Darcy’s second proposal: “One word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

His whole arc in the book is about learning to consider other people’s feelings and not just his own, but the fact that it’s expressed via who gets to talk and who is told to shut up is so, so telling. The first time around, he imposes his voice on her whether she wants it or not. The second time, he asks how she feels, and in exchange, offers her the gift of his silence.

And yeah, the fact that dudes still! have! not! learned! this! lesson! is exhausting.

[ghost-of-bambi]

How surprising is it that Pride and Prejudice was written by a woman, when many romantic comedies are produced and directed by men?

Answer: not at all

[drsarcasticraspberry]

200 years later and the world is still full of guys who think they’re a Mr Darcy when they’re actually a Mr Collins.

[netflixnbirds]

That last comment

[heatherwitch]

@whichwitchami

[gaynfl-moved]

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

[marisatomay]

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

[gaynfl-moved]

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

[imsuchacapricorn]

New to the arena, Kristie and her surprise wedding

[history-freak1]

Y'all really gonna pass up childless millennial Disney Mom?

[gaynfl-moved]

my FAVORITE angry facebook post of all time

[moghedien]

I read a short story where a woman character “always looked forward to her period” because it was “a reminder of her womanness” and YES! The story WAS in fact written by a male!

[moghedien]

*my uterus hits the self destruct button and tissue and blood begins falling out of my vagina*

*music drops*

*Shania Twain voice* Let’s Go Girls

[mcavoy]

everyday i think about how frank sinatra tried using his mafia ties to kill woody allen and i wanna know who the fuck stopped him.

[averagefairy]

i haven’t been able to forget this guy’s look from school of rock ever since i first saw that movie i was only 9 but i knew he was serving

[worrdless]

Demitri Martin once said,

“I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, “That is cool.” But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, “That is not cool.” Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.””

and you know what? spot on.

[cockmcstuffins]

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

[blackreigen-deactivated20190402]

shout out to op for singlehandedly resurrecting the twilight fandom and subsequently giving us all a second chance to discourse abt every aspect of this series

[blackgirlsreverything]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Me: *is mild-to-moderately inconvenienced*

Me: leaving the womb was a mistake

[space-pagan-deactivated20190314]

In the words of Douglas Adams:

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place, and some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no-one should ever have left the oceans.”

[twostarsandasmileyface]

alternatively, also in the words of Douglas Adams:

“In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

[hausofbhd]

[sickthot]

Witnesses say they asked Britney why she shaved her head and her response was, “I’m tired of plugging things into it. I’m tired of people touching me.”

i can never not reblog this

[britneyjustin]

T-Pain: “That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, “Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.” People were like, “We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.” She went … “Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?”

[fieldbears]

The older I get the more her breakdown seems less ‘unbalanced’ and more ‘completely understandable’

[saundering-deactivated20180828]

it’s because other people told you she was unbalanced at a point in your life when you didn’t have the life experience or wisdom to understand otherwise

[neverthere12345]

[such-justice-wow]

Teenage alcoholism is so important to recognise. It is not healthy to be getting absolutely wasted a few times a week and sometimes young adults become alcoholic without realising it. If you are unable to have a fun time without drinking or you feel like you need to drink when others are in an overwhelming way then consider getting help.

[mungeondaster]

No really. Get help. It starts with parties, and then it’s “lol im just sad all the time” and before you know it everything is awful and you’re spiralling out of control. Don’t get sucked in and don’t let tumblr Depression Culture make you think it’s normal.

[sophrosynic]

See also: wine mom “culture”

[loloftheday]

Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

this is an england hate blog

[autisticmoonchild]

HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL? WHAT DID MY COUNTRY EVER DO TO ANYONE?!

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[autisticmoonchild]

oh sorry sweetie, i didn’t realise you still lived in the 1800s…🙄🙄

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[loreofcardigan]

I’ve been thinking about this for days. The 1800s??? The 1800s????

The 1800s ???????????????!

[dope-kulture]