7 pieces of advice for your first year of grad school
…from someone who just survived their first year of grad school
I probably love school as much as a person possibly can. I love everything about it. I love going to class. I love doing homework. I love studying for tests. I love learning. I love reading. I love all of it. Before I went to grad school, I heard all of the warnings about how hard it is and how often you’ll consider quitting and how stressful it is, and I thought,”It won’t be like that for me, I love school!”
It is like that for me. I’m not a special snowflake. I have bad days exactly how everyone said I would. Over the past year, I’ve begun to learn to navigate the most difficult and exhilarating experience I’ve ever had, and I’d like to take this opportunity to share a few things I’ve learned - from what others have told me, what I’ve done right, and what I’ve done very, very wrong.
If you haven’t started grad school yet, sit down and write a letter to yourself about why you’re doing this. Write down how excited you feel. Write down your goals. Every positive thing you’re feeling about grad school, put it down on paper, and then tuck that letter away. Maybe tuck away a bottle of scotch with it. Then when you have your first “This is the end of the world” day, you can read it and remember that it’s not the end of the world. And then you can drink the scotch.
Make a friend, fast. Not just an acquaintance. You’ll have plenty of those. They’re fine for having someone to sit by in class or get notes from, but you need a real friend that you can cry on, vent to, and laugh with. The laughing is really, really important, and you need a real friend that you can be your dumb self with.
You’re not in undergrad anymore, so don’t expect to study like you are. Your study skills and time management skills need revamped. Try different things and see what works for you. Don’t get locked into thinking “This is how I studied in undergrad and I got a 4.0 so it must be right!” Learning in grad school is different. Just accept that you’ll need to adjust.
Imposter syndrome is very, very real. It’s also not the end of the world. It’s terrible to feel like you’re stupid, it’s terrible to feel like a faker, it’s terrible to feel like everyone has it together except for you. But you need to just push through it. Keep completing your work, even if you feel like it’s subpar. Keep asking questions. Keep voicing your opinion. No matter how dumb you think you sound. Get used to feeling like that. It’ll come and go. It’s okay. If you feel like it’s negatively impacting you, talk to someone. Preferably your advisor, but a different faculty member or an older grad student will also work. Just find someone you trust and open up. They’ll understand, because they’ve felt it too.
Maintain a life outside of school and research. You’re going to need a break sometimes. It’s okay to watch a movie. It’s okay to take an entire Saturday and go kayaking. It’s even okay to take an entire vacation. You NEED to maintain a life outside of your work to maintain good mental health. A very eminent ecologist once told me that one of the questions he always asks his students on candidacy exams is “What is the last book you read for fun?” and he doesn’t care what the answer is, as long as they have an answer, because it’s so damn important to keep doing things you enjoy.
You need to be a tortoise, not a hare. Someone who’s finishing up her PhD shared this bit of advice with a friend and me recently, and even after just one year I can see how important it will be to remember this. Hares burn out. Hares get tired. A tortoise might not feel as productive, might feel like their colleagues are leaving them in the dust, but slow progress that is sustainable is better than fast progress that burns you out. On days that I feel like I’m moving too slowly, I like to stop and ask myself “What did I do that moved me closer to my PhD today?” and I always have an answer. Even if it’s not much, I’m moving forward, and most importantly, I’m not burning out. However, this brings me to my final piece of advice.
It’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to quit. Grad school isn’t for everyone, and there is no shame in admitting that it’s not for you. There’s no shame in taking a semester off to figure out if it’s really for you. There are so many possible paths to a fulfilling life. If the path of grad school isn’t one of those for you, get off of it, and be so proud of yourself for taking your own happiness and wellbeing into your hands.
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