I'm Alexander, a 31 year old Spoonie. This blog is going to be random shit I like. Some things will likely be NSFW. Probably a few original posts. You have been warned. Also; Black Lives Matter, All Cops Are Bastards, Fuck Trump, Fuck Nazis, and America's a dumpster fire.
Sometimes I wonder when Merrin first met Cal, if she thought “wow I didn’t know men could actually be adorable looking. I thought they were all rugged with horns coming out of their head. Or old and nasty like Malicos.” Cause let’s be fr Cal was so puppy coded. 😭😭
Black Canary: Yeah, I mean hes an adult, but he's closer in age to them, I figured he would be better at understanding them.
Flash: I mean he is childish, but maybe they'll finally listen to someone.
*opens the training room door*
Phantom, snarling: Is that seriously all you've got? Pathetic! Get back up and try again! Saving the day waits for no "hero"!
*Young Justice scattered across the room, all panting heavily, or cradling bruises as they're each paired up with a Phantom duplicate*
Superman, gobsmacked: Phantom what are you doing?!
Flash: Yeah man this looks a little harsh don't you think?
Phantom: They want to be treated like adults, Flash, so I'm treating them like adults. If they want to be treated like adults, then they can train like adults, work like adult, eat like adults, balance their hero work and their civilian work like adults. I said no slacking! Get back up!
Superman, wincing: Still...
Flash: Dude, what did they say to you to piss you off this much? *tries to joke* I need to know so I don't do the same. Seriously, you're scary.
Phantom: *scowls*
Kid Flash, panting: Pl-Please! Can we take a brake? I need some water.
Phantom: 10 minutes. *all his duplicates vanish and Phantom turns and floats out*
*water bottles appear out of nowhere, and all the sidekicks collapse, desperately chugging the water bottles*
Flash: No, seriously, what did you say to him? I've never seen him that upset before.
Artemis, clutching her ribs: K-Kid Flash s-said he didn't get why-why we couldn't be treated as adults and-and do our own work. R-Rob in Said-Said that Phantom was-ss lucky, cause he didn't have a mentor and took-took care of his territory on his own without help. Said-Said it couldn't be that hard since Phantom did it.
Adult Heros -Batman: *winces*
Superman: No wonder Phantom was so upset.
Green Arrow: Yeah, I'd be pissed too if my years of hard work was chalked up to "not that hard".
Flash: *turns and follows after Phantom*
Batman: Hmn.
Robin: *flinches*
Batman: It looks like Phantom still went easy on you. You should thank him for that.
Kid Flash: That was easy?!
Batman: You're still alive aren't you?
Superman: And by the looks of it, he was only brawling, I don't smell the scent of his Ecto-Blasts.
Black Canary: And he gave you water.
Flash: *makes his way to the observation deck*
Phantom: *staring up at the stars with a pained expression*
Flash: *stands next to him as a comfortable silence stretches between tham*
Phantom: The screwed up thing is, I could have had a mentor.
Flash: Yeah?
Phantom: Yeah. But, instead of guiding me, and helping me, and being a support system, he decided he'd rather be a fruitloop. So, he became one of my villains.
Flash: Wow, that sucks. Wait-
Phantom, snorts: Yeah, it does. We're the only two halfas in the world right now, and he decides to be a massive jerk. It sucks, it sucks alot, because back then, I'd have loved to have what these kids have, heck, I'd have loved to just have someone to give me advice without having some greater scheme or alternative motive.
Flash: But?
Phantom, taking a deep breath: But thats not how it worked out for me. It was me, my teenage friends, and my teenaged sister against an alternate dimension, and a corrupt falsified government agency. That's the bitter truth of it, and I won't change that if I maybe could, instead, I just have to make sure those dinguses don't get themselves killed before they're adults.
Flash, gently pats Phantom's shoulder: Awe, don't want them to join you in the realms.
Instagram (social media in general tbh) is really starting to piss me off but I still want to share my art cause I love drawing and its fun and don't want my art to stay sitting in my art folder
Anyway here's Dick and Bruce (shockingly enough this one of his better parenting moves)
center yourself in language that includes you. if it includes women like you, it includes you. it's not "them" it's "us". women are your peers. when someone says ladies that means you. keep reminding yourself. don't forget. it is a fact. treat it like one. you HAVE to treat yourself like a woman. keep reminding yourself. keep reminding yourself.
that song is about you. that advertisement applies to you. when someone tries to lift women's self esteem it's supposed to be lifting YOUR self esteem. how many songs come on the radio telling women they're beautiful??? that's YOU. you're beautiful. take it seriously. take yourself seriously. you ARE a girl and you HAVE to act like it. if you don't treat yourself like a woman, and you ARE one, then you're not treating yourself like a person, and THAT IS SELF HARM. you HAVE to treat yourself like a girl. it isn't optional.
My uncle is really into warhammer and would win every miniature painting competition he was in. I have not very steady hands and he saw me messing up my nail polish for prom. He sat with me and carefully painted my nails and that moment meant so much to me all these years later.
people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.
angels, deciding what shape to take when interacting with The Humans: well….eye contact is important to humans, right? they find it reassuring when they can see the eyes of the person they’re talking to. so if we have LOTS of eyes, in very visible places, that’ll be even MORE reassuring
can’t stop thinking how much sense it would make if every design choice angels made was just a misguided attempt to Relate To The Humans. imagine how those conversations went
wings: “humans don’t like things they can’t understand, so if we’re going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since we’re so big and impressive. humans like wings”
loud, booming voices: “fuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.”
glowing: “no no no, it’s about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit light…”
wheels: “why the hell are you shaped like that?” “piss off, the humans are really proud of this invention”
multiple faces/eyes: “it makes me relatable” “i swear to God it doesn’t–” “i need to see in every direction” “ Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not need–” “THE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW I’M WATCHING”
multiple limbs: “humans have lots of limbs! they like limbs” “look i let you keep the wings but–” “how do you expect me to walk?” “70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!” “fuck off i’m ENORMOUS”
general gross misapprehensions of biology: “holy shit are your wings made out of eyes?” “look before you say anything i’m like 100% sure i’ve seen animals who have both wings and eyes. and you can fit so many more in this way!” “….you godforsaken googly-eyed genius”
#and this is why angels got so boring in the new testament after the Updated Guidelines were rolled out. “Four limbs???? i’m only allowed a maximum of FOUR LIMBS????? this is BULLSHIT”
#alternatively all the reported sightings of creepy ass angels was literally just the SAME angel #just the same freak who kept changing its meatsuit for funsies before god caught on
Old Testament Angels look like that because life in the ocean outnumbered life on land, so naturally when they visited earth they modeled their appearance on the most common lifeforms. Hench you get things like
radial symmetry (i.e. angels shaped like spheres) which is objectively cooler than bilateral symmetry (starfish understand this)
Very Numerous Limbs (2 is not the average number of arms in the ocean)
random glowing (bioluminescence)
just generally being objects of Absolute Terror to land dwellers
a thousand eyeballs being the Norm (have you seen scallops)
in the majority of inhabited Earth areas (i.e. anything deeper than the continental shelf) old school angels would actually pass as Normal And Relatably-Shaped Lifeforms
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