Jesus Mary and Josephine

Fasten your seat belts my friends.

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[notahorseindisguise]

this one . i missed this . that great you can go ahead and order it

[phorusrhacidae-lesbian]

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said then immediately respond to you before you finish

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

Fuck moon’s taking poison damage

[bsideheart]

more characters with psychic powers who get migraines and seizures after they use them. i wanna see someone kill a bunch of ppl with their mind and then lay in a dark room vomiting for two days

[animate-mush]

Like Psyduck?

[parkchanwoohoo]

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

[justcatposts]

My 11-month male cat lets my foster kittens nurse on him.

(Source)

[nitewrighter]

[frankierohugejorts]

im sorry these are the funniest tags ive ever seen

[c3rvida3]

If you try to say anything to me today that's not about my flying fish pepper shaker from the antique store, I will beat the shit out of you. I'm so serious.

[c3rvida3]

Yaaaaaay everybody frow up and die because you're not me 💚

[orcboxer]

excuse me

[thewitchoftheweast]

[avaricevinegar]

no pants im afraid

[estro-boi]

[sickfreaksirkay]

“no rapping tonight"

why?

"you rap about arthurian knights everytime, it's embarrassing"

ok

[after one beer]

uh oh y'all i go into a trance a lot

[foxes-in-love]

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[queer-reader-07]

[pangur-and-grim]

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

[pangur-and-grim]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[kholdseid]

[sighinastorm]

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

[the-haiku-bot]

As dandelions

to sidewalks, so onions to

refrigerators.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[cheddar-baby]

[insecuregodcomplex]

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

what is this genre of photos called

[askjennaflorida]

"That's NOT For You!"