‎3,452.

“i think he’s obsessed with me” 25. he/him.

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[wcdonaldo]

slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[pangur-and-grim]

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

[pangur-and-grim]

[bare1ythere]

You know a character has really hit their gender out of the park when they're popularly hced as transmasc AND transfemme

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[shimejikin]

you just know once the AI boom is over every corperation is going to be ovsessed with the idea of "no AI used at any point!!!" as a marketing technique to try and sell to an anti ai market, and you know its going to work on a Lot of people. disneys gonna come out with a new movie after the AI bubble pops like "and NO AI WAS USED unlike xyz competitor because we are a brand that VALUES true human work" and they're going to hook a LOT of people like that.

[shimejikin]

they're gonna "new coke vs coke original taste" this bitch and i just know it.

[ninjasmudge]

last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.

[audioexorcisms]

[wowwforever]

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

[explorerrowan]

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

[orcboxer]

[thelambliesdown1974]

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[miametropolis]

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

for a moment i lived in a beautiful world where doctor who didn’t exist and this was simply a seven-ate-nine joke too layered for me to understand

[tahthetrickster]

unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

[fatgrowlithe]

runner up

[potholefullofsoup]

not a rage comic but this is a personal favorite

[peachfromcmbyn]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[nixpunk]

[tpwrtrmnky]

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

[tpwrtrmnky]

You can be Homer Simpson at the lesbian bar. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[lizardlicks]

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

[mrsandman42069]

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[mere-technicality]

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

[foone]

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

[madigail]

the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.