The NSFW Hello Kitty System [MINORS DNI]

Home Blog for a professionally DX with Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder System of DemonKin, Splitrojects, Alts, & Fictives. I also am an indie Author//Model for SuicideGirls as a Hopeful. formerly known as the luciferse systems but we are officially The Hello Kitty Systems. ♡

[psychoetry]

Intro to The Luciferse System

Hey all!

We are a professionally diagnosed Dissociative Identity Disorder System, called The Luciferse System!

We are a head space consisting of over 50+ Alts including fictives, introjects, splitrojects, protectors, persecutors, twins, and triplets among others still being discovered as a newly diagnosed system.

We also are seeking support from other systems, both professionally and self-diagnosed. <3

There will consistently and gradually be separate blogs for all our main drivers [fronters] and co-drivers [co-fronters] being made, so please bear with us as fifty and counting is a rather large number haha.

Oh, and also this post was written by @scarletxscythe , present driver [fronter] in our system currently, so go give her a follow and feel free to shoot us a DM. :)

[psychoetry]

Good morning!! As some may or may not know, I've got a poetry book that i am nearly ready to ACTUALLY PUBLISH!

I have been struggling after being assaulted in the hospital and maltreated in a literal treatment facility, on top of having to go to a shelted back in my hometown, so i guess i would absolutely appreciate any and all positive vibes sent my way...

Anybody else ever go thru something like this?

-ariel grimm

[leafcrunch]

here’s my 2015 year in review

bad

[leafcrunch]

why are you people still reblogging this

[3scythes]

I feel like adhd bored is different than neurotypical bored because like. You don’t understand. I have a billion things I could be doing. I turn on the tv. I stare at the Netflix screen for five minutes. Flip through shows and movies for the next thirty minutes. Nothing looks good. I put in a video game. Play for two minutes. Not feeling it. I load up YouTube. Watch half a video before closing the app. Maybe I’ll read a book? I stare at my giant bookshelf. The thought of starting a new book seems too hard. I lay in bed and play phone games for six hours. Nothing has gotten done. Still bored.

[tlbodine]

I feel like a better term for this experience is “restless.” 

Sometimes nothing sounds good; I have a specific experiential craving or itch that needs to be scratched but I don’t know what it is or how to placate it so I will rapidly cycle through activities in search of something that will provide the level/type of stimulation I crave. Like a tiger pacing in the zoo. 

[headspace-hotel]

It’s a really bad, unbearably vibratey itchy feeling. A craving for relief that takes too great a mental effort to overcome.

It can be physical too…sometimes if I don’t walk/pace it feels like my bones are squiggly and it’s as unpleasant as it sounds

[ruffboi-mags]

My bones are squiggly and it literally physically hurts sometimes and a lot of times I will get abruptly and inexplicably exhausted bc my brain has had enough of this “bored” shit and would rather just shut down for the day than endure it any longer.

[we-are-all-the-worst]

Go outside

Pick up a stick

And hit it against a tree

[batfacedliar]

too lazy. most i can do is walk in circles in my room, then sit down for a while and resume circles

[dramaticgremlin]

This !! Bored/restless feels like there is like hands squeezing around my head and it hurts and it feels like there’s air in my lungs that wants to be let out but it just won’t come out no matter what I do

[psychoetry]

Dm me if you was a free short Ebook in exchange for beta reading it!! It's called Dissociative in The Luciferse--The Origin Dtory of Alice Morningstaar!.a dark NSFW, LGBTQ Psychological Horror and Fandom spinoff because I need feedback!

Next 10 readers only though please or you can comment and I will message you!!

Dissociative Luciferse: The Origin of Alice: Book One (Enchanted Luciferse 1) - Kindle edition by Suicide, Phoenyxx . Download it once and r

[sweetfirebird]

Hey so this was posted on Twitter by @kbspangler and I saw it this morning and uhhhhh. Anyway, if you have been telling yourself things are fine and normal with you despite some signs that maybe they are not, please look at this.

[iron-sunrise]

How the FUCK do you get to green?! That doesn’t even sound realistic!

[blackwoolncrown]

It takes a long time.

[kumboochies]

My brain to me after reading this

[psychoetry]

uh... whats a mix of the latter two? Struggling in Crisis? lmao

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

not to dredge up old wounds and sound bitter but when I was 17 my dad died in a house fire and the very next week we had a huge geometry test I hadn’t studied for because of the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation so the extremely kind kid sitting next to me let me cheat from his test since the answers were multiple choice, but I was SO stressed about the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation I didn’t even notice we had different tests.

My teacher handed them back the next day with an obvious zero written on mine, and when I started crying in class he told me that’s what I get for cheating, in front of everyone.

Most things from my teenagehood I have let go, but if I ever run into this man in a grocery store I 100% will ask him what is problem was.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

That said, I used to spend a lot of time grieving this girl who lost so much and who suffered so much under the rules of people like that teacher. I told my therapist that the tragedy of it all is that nobody ever came to save her and so she was never saved.

My therapist asked me why I saw her as separate from myself. I realized I felt that at some point between then and Adulthood, that girl had died, and I was mourning her death. All the time, I looked at photos of my younger self as if they were memories of a childhood friend I’d lost.

My therapist helped me understand and accept that she never died, she is me, and by surviving, I did save her life. She is alive, and those hopes and dreams she had before she felt pain and loss still exist in me. And every time someone treats me badly and I stand up for myself, I am standing up for her. Every time I try to get better, I am nursing her back to health. Every time I take care of myself, I am taking care of her. I am the adult she needed.

She was saved, because she is me, and I saved myself. I saved her. I saved us both.

I’m only sharing such personal feelings this plainly, because I hope it will resonate with some of you who feel that there’s a part of you, a child crying, who got left behind. If you’re still alive, you’re holding that child in your arms right now. They are vulnerable, they are wounded, but they are alive. Take care of yourself, and you’ll take care of them. I love you.

[madame-serpentine]

“If you’re still alive, you’re holding that child in your arms right now.”

Wow, that sure hits different

[psychoetry]

We Be Back w/the 'vid

Guess what bitches?

we dead ass have been tested twice for Covid at our local hospital, and were just informed that...

THEY MARKED US NEGATIVE ORIGINALLY BC THEY LOST OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TEST RESULT FROM TWO WEEKS AGO ALMOST AND THEIR EXCUSE WAS...

"i'm sorry, we have had such a high volume of testing done that we read the wrong chart and marked you as negative when we are still waiting for the last pending result, but you were probably positive this whole time."

word for fucking word. no lie!!!!!!!!!!!

If this last test, or rather WHEN this last test comes back--as a positive, we are nearly certain we can fucking sue these incompetent excuses for "doctors"

anyone else ever deal with a shady hospital?!

--Crymsonn

[system-society]

If you were wrong about certain aspects of your system, or even your system as a whole, you are valid. Nobody knows everything, we are all prone to misunderstandings and mistakes. If something turns out differently than you expected that’s okay! You’ll adapt and overcome that difference, as all of us do. 🍃🌼

[psychoetry]

great//have covid AGAIN.

im gonna lose my shit

i cannot write

not one bit

now im gonna throw a fit

why does wverything end up as poetry lmao

oh i also don't know who i fucking am besides like, the creator who cannot bloody create.

anyways im new, you'll be seeing alot more from me and probs my sis @lilithruleshell

i cant even be coherent in writing rn but i have to dump these thoughts somewhere yo.

--Lilith Staar

[psychoetry]

got put on new narcolepsy meds and i cant even keep up with myself i am that fucking railed xD

anywho, i feel hella anxiety.

i dont know what the fuck im doing

i need to do things

but fuck i got some bad news...

my dad is dying.

i dont know what else to say.

i'm sorry.

--crymson

[psychoetry]

hey systems!

it's been awhile, i know.

we have been undergoing alot it kind of feels like but not at the same time.

*good news*

WE FINALLY FOUND OUR PERFECT MED COCKTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

i never thought i would live to see this day.

i cleaned, like with 409 all purpose cleaner, cleaned my kitchen and floors.

i also am an editor for Illumination publications on medium--AND THEY CURATED MY FIRST SUBMISSION! [linked below]

About Me: Lilith Morningstaar

She's an author, a writer, a poet, and now — an editor.

i officially am an editor for six publications and counting now, but both Illumination and Be Open [also linked below!] are incredible publications.

i have never felt like i belong more than i do with these publications and communities of talented and kind-spirited writers/editors that i have the pleasure of connecting and working with. <3

I Wrote My Next Project’s Synopsis

Oh boy, it’s a great one.

as far as mental health and the system front [tee hee ;)], its been...

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON

I DONT KNOW WHO I AM

I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE JOURNALING

I HATE FEELINGS

I DONT LIKE EMOTIONS

I AM CRAWLING OUT OF MY HOST'S SKIN FEELING HELLA UNCOMFORTABLE

what is wrong with us.

--lilith//samantha suicidee

Join Medium with my referral link - Lilith Morningstaar

As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story on Medium.

[psychoetry]

okay but who the fuck am i supposed to be????

i've never loved how we look like with hair/clothes/clean face today, yet i am CRAWLING OUT OF MY FKIN SKIN YOOOOOO!!!

this isn't a joke either, i have been writhing in pain like all day feeling gross, disgusting, like im wearing some sort of suit that was coming a part at the seams slowly but surely--so you feel it nagging on uou because every thread is a barbed wire--but nobody else sees this. nobody else understands this feeling i am for the first time experiencing.

am i a new 'alter' or some shit?

how do i know?

all i do is avoid and feel panic and cringe pain for existing, is this 'Earth' ?

what. a. joke...

tbfr tho am i like a new alter? i feel like this is not my body and i think journaling is lame for me to do so thats helpful right?? NOT. XD

anyone else who can decipher my demon ways and feels should inbox us stat. cant take much more of this...

-Demon Scene Queen [unknwn]

[recourse-ao3-deactivated2024022]

whispers hey you can’t use the same critical framework on works by individual lgbt creators that you use for works by corporations looking for profit from lgbt stories written by straight people because the context and consumption of that content exist in completely separate spheres thannnkssssss

[recourse-ao3-deactivated2024022]

you can’t deride a depressed lesbian’s work for having the sad lesbian trope in it

you can’t tell a trans woman writing about being trans that she’s just writing the stereotypical trans narrative

those are their stories to tell and they’re not stereotypes they’re real lives and reducing them to the boxes het media puts us in is reproducing their oppression

[psychoetry]

Heyyyy

so i am new, and home alone. i am dying with fear of abandonment :,(

but on the other side...

I published on Ao3 for my first time ever, well a first for all of us, tbh.

and we are MANIC ASF...

not a fun combo. ://

-new[admin]

[hopesforsuckers]

write 'maybe' in the tags and put the first tag that comes with it

[zouisbreakup]

reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from