Monterey Bay Aquarium
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
almost home
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Misplaced Lens Cap
titsay
izzy's playlists!
Cosmic Funnies
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Mike Driver
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
★
sheepfilms
⁂
Kaledo Art
Janaina Medeiros
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seen from Chile
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@pumpkinbadger
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Go for the bigger blanket.
Are you thinking of making or buying a blanket? There is no universe in which you will want a smaller blanket. Meanwhile, you have free will, and you can choose this universe to have a bigger blanket. Your potential to snuggle will unlimited by the boundaries of simple cloth.
Go for the bigger blanket.
“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land
“I’m going to sleep” is the biggest lie I’m going to stare at my ceiling for the next three hours
why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain
no one tell him
This is it, lads. The post that started us on this path 9 years ago.
I sure hope no one told him.
Its that time of the year again. Praise
I’m not like, super religious but I do celebrate the major holidays (an ides’er and greason’s tumblric)
You know, it occurs to me that the known internet phenomenon of Reddit “am I the asshole?” posts having completely misleading headers is actually a really great example of a far less known but far more common practice of extreme journalistic spin in cases where there are large monetary incentives to diminish the story in question.
Like, if you see a Reddit post titled “Am I the asshole for buying my wife a new dress?”, the post is pretty much always something totally deranged like: “I (48) really dislike the way my wife (20) dresses, because I think it’s too revealing and makes her look slutty, which was fine when we started dating five years ago, but it makes me feel like she’s going to cheat on me now that we’re married. I’ve politely asked her to get new clothes multiple times, and every time she refused because she said she liked her clothes, and didn’t want to waste money buying new ones. Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore so I threw out a bunch of her old dresses and bought her a new one that was more modest looking. She started crying because one of the dresses I threw out had been left to her by her mom who died when she was a teen, but I couldn’t have known that it had sentimental value. She said that I should have asked, but obviously if I asked she’d have just told me not to throw out any of her clothes, including the ones that weren’t sentimental. Also, the more modest dress I bought was pretty expensive, and she never thanked me for it. Am I the asshole here, or is she being unreasonable?”
Similarly, whenever you see a headline like “Woman Wins Millions From McDonald’s Because Her Hot Coffee Was Too Hot”, if you dig a bit, you’ll almost always quickly find out that what actually happened was: A 79-year-old ordered coffee which, unbeknownst to her, was being served extremely dangerously hot, because McDonald’s was trying to have coffee that stayed warm over a long commute without spending any extra money on cups with better insulation. The coffee spilled on the old woman’s lap, giving her severe third degree burns over a huge portion of her body, including her genitals. She got to a hospital and they managed to save her life with skin grafting, but she became disabled from the accident, and her genitals and thighs were permanently disfigured. She tried to settle with McDonald’s for her medical costs, and McDonald’s refused to cover any portion of her medical expenses at all, and so she sued. At trial, the jury discovered that this same exact thing had happened seven hundred times before, and McDonald’s had still decided not to change their policy because paying out individual suits was cheaper than moderately reducing their coffee profits. As a result, the jury awarded punitive damages designed to penalize McDonald’s two days worth of their coffee profits, in addition to the woman’s medical costs.
I think it’s largely the same phenomenon, but I know a lot of people who are familiar with the first case, but don’t know to look for the second. If you see some totally outrageous “how could a person ever sue over this stupid thing?” case, you should immediately be incredibly suspicious that that’s all that actually happened, because a lot of the time, it absolutely isn’t. The people who have the most incentive to make their opponent look not only wrong, but completely crazy for having any sort of grievance at all, are often the actually unreasonable ones.
Anyway this is all to say that if I see ANY of y’all automatically siding with McDonald’s over the recent case where 4-year-old girl was severely burned by their chicken nuggets because “hurr durr dumb kid didn’t know that chicken nuggets were hot, people sue over anything lol”, I will grab that McBoot you’re licking and shove it all the way up your McFuckingAss.
Hey btw, this goes for the Panera lemonade thing too. I’m already seeing articles with headlines like “Caffeinated lemonade turns out to contain caffeine”, which is a truly incredible level of spin, seeing as the issue is that Panera fucking killed people. Their products were so deceptively labeled that multiple people who were actively attempting to carefully monitor their caffeine intake still mistakenly drank a lemonade which had more caffeine in it than any energy drink on the market. Do not let a handful of carefully crafted PR one-liners about “underlying conditions” and “what did they think charged meant” turn the narrative on this into a wankfest of victim blamey bullshit. The facts of the case are utterly damning, and the money and effort that Panera is pouring into smearing the victims is as appalling as it is predictable.
The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all
Boromir, pointing at the hobbits: I don’t know how your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Legolas and Gimli: I definitely don’t know how either of your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Aragorn: I thought I knew how your age worked but apparently I was wrong
Boromir, pointing at Gandalf: I especially don’t know how your age works
Gandalf: It doesn’t, but carry on
Listen I will die on this hill. I don’t care what it says in the assorted apocrypha, if you go by the Actual Text of LOTR you can make a very good argument that Boromir is the youngest member of the group.
The hobbits are the only ones given official ages in the text, and are between fifty or fifty-one and twenty-nine. Elves and dwarves notoriously age slowly, and Gimli is the offspring of one of Bilbo’s pals, so okay, we’ve established that he’s old enough to call the hobbits young, and Bilbo confirms for them that Aragorn is Pretty Old For A Bigjobs. Gandalf is, of course, eternal.
But we are never given any context for Boromir and Faramir’s ages, except that a) they are humans and, though Sons of Gondor, not much longer lived than most Bigjobs, and b) Faramir is A QuiteYoung Man. I was absolutely convinced, when I read the books as a youngun, that Boromir, being in ‘the flower of manhood’ iirc, was probably between 25 and 30.
And it would be Freaking Hilarious, okay, for Boromir to finally get around to actually asking how old this baby-faced hobbit carrying The Ring is, and get told ‘oh, he’s only fifty, but he’s very steady for his age.’
Boromir: ?!?!?!
And then Pippin and Merry start asking everyone how old they are because this is fascinating are we all official adults here except for Pippin or what.
Boromir: …. Pippin isn’t an adult HOW OLD IS PIPPIN.
Pippin is just 29, which is why everyone calls him Pippin, it’s gonna be at least another 20 years before he can make Peregrine work. Why, how old is Boromir?
Boromir, who would rather DIE than admit to being 28 right at this moment: …. 43.
All the others, weighing up his apparent age compared to theirs: Sure, sounds legit.
Gandalf, who knows for certain, does not say anything because he is absolutely certain that telling Pippin that he’s older than Boromir will be an unmitigated disaster.
LOTR Heritage Post
My embroidery of the Sera character card from Dragon Age Inquisition is now complete!
75 hours of work, 11.5x19.5 cm
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[Image description: An embroidered version of the Sera character selection card from Dragon Age Inquisition. She stands atop a slanted tree trunk with her bow held suggestively between her legs, looking at the Skyhold tower in the distance, where the tiny figure of the inquisitor is present in the window. Mountains and turrets make up the background behind her.]
Room belonging to administrator/design expert of Maximalist Design and Decor group.
saw a post a long time ago that i just tried and failed to track down, about how the original lyctors may have started really hating alecto after ascending, because she would've learned how to act like a human from them and their dead friends. nona the professional mimic, ya know? so maybe she laughed like cristabel and walked like alfred and reached out to touch your shoulder just like samael would've done, and it was too much for them to bear. and that post has lived rent-free in my head ever since.
and i was just thinking about it again and it occurred to me. we didn't really understand permeability of the soul when that post was made and. guys. permeability of the soul.
the lyctors are shooting the shit a few months after ascending. ulyssess tells a joke. mercymorn starts giggling. everyone is looking at her funny. she pauses. she never found that joke funny before, but it was cristabel's favorite. mercymorn doesn't speak for a week.
augustine can barely tell, because they were family, they shared so many things already. but he was never such good friends with anastasia before. he seems to recall that they had nothing in common. but ever since alfred died, he feels a kinship with her that he doesn't want to explain.
gideon starts smoking, in the months after pyrrha's death.
cytherea becomes tetchy and iritable with them, and resents them in a way she never did before.
casseopeia begins struggling with food textures she never disliked before, and develops an affinity for flowers.
and they don't want to think about it. they're not going to think about it, because they can't all freeze themselves in a block of ice to sleep off the grief. their friends are dead, and they're gone, and their eyes are staring out of all the mirrors and they're everywhere. and they're never coming back.
Another reason why I love the Abhorsen Trilogy: all the young women are competent individuals who know they have limits and think they've reached them but then find the strength to push past them, while the only male POV character is a whiny privileged teenager who seriously fucks up before realizing his own strengths and valuing what he's good at (which, surprise, is not what anyone expected him to be good at).
Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!
This is honestly better advice than “if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.”
By all means try again. But do that after you figure out WHY you failed!
To people who use "þ" as an aesthetic "p"
þink again.
getting thorny in the linguistics fandom
þorny*
That also goes for using ß as an aesthetic B.
On my old server, there was a character named ßillyßadass.
This never failed to make me laugh, because that letter is not pronounced like B. It is a sharp S.
That guy named himself SsillySsadass.
Also to people who you Σ as an aesthetic E
that’s an S too, Σo maybe check next time
oh boy
Д as an aesthetic A? Дon’t be a дumbass.
И as an aesthetic N? don’t be sillи.
П as another aesthetic N? stoп it.
У as an aesthetic Y? ty bad.
Ш or Щ as an aesthetic W? nope. it’s “sh” and “shch”!
Я as an aesthetic R? surprise! it’s “ya”.
ah yes, that classic horror film SNYEYAPOVUL DIAYAIES
This is pronounced Stargoat.
Reblogging for Stargoat.
STARGOAT
I saw in Japan a bag of marshmallows named SCANDINAVIAN MÅRSHMÅLLOW and I still have not recovered from that. It reads as SCANDINAVIAN MORSHMOLLOW
I’m hardly the first person to compare them but Terry Pratchett and J K Rowling really are polar opposites in terms of the way their writing treats weird characters. In Rowling’s writing, any weirdness is there to be laughed at (for example: Professor Trelawney, the fake seer who doesn’t know she’s an actual seer). In Pratchett’s writing, though, the characters’ weirdness is taken 100% seriously and the humor arises organically from the situation itself and is never at the characters’ expense (for example: in Making Money, the man who was born a clown and was never told so until he was 13 years old). In Rowling’s writing, the main characters poke constant fun at Professor Trelawney, making joke predictions and fudging homework and talking about how divination isn’t a legitimate field of study. Even after she gets fired and more or less drops the act, the joke changes to “look at this sad drunk lady” and the main characters express little sympathy. The narrative is saying she’s there to make one real prediction and otherwise she’s only there for comic relief. This sort of thing happens over and over in Rowling’s writing, where any quirkiness is there to be laughed at and the misfortunes of characters we’re not supposed to like are supposed to be funny, and it sends a message of conformity under threat of ridicule. In Pratchett’s writing, the clown man’s story is treated as a great tragedy: imagine growing up not knowing why you are the way you are, and then finding out the truth as a teenager! And knowing that your own mother kept the truth from you! This man was so deeply traumatized by this he denied himself any humor or fun for decades, and when he has a crisis and runs off to become a clown again, he is given support and medical treatment and is welcomed back to his job at the bank and accepted for who he is. The fact that this whole situation is hilarious is secondary. And again, this sort of thing happens over and over again in Pratchett’s writing, where characters’ quirkiness is embraced and often seen as irreplaceable by the end of the book, and it sends a message that our quirks are valuable and weirdness should be acceptable. It just strikes me as a much… kinder approach to people, you know?
whenever right wing people talk about “parental rights” they are talking about property rights. they are arguing for further political and legal enshrinement of their children as their literal actual property
the business in canada has made this quite clear. a popular poster for the reactionaries to have their children to hold up as of late reads "I belong to my parents".
MARGOT ROBBIE for Teen Vogue (2023)
