I'm probably never going to find it again, but there was a response to one of those "artworks we think we can make" posts that was like "Okay, go for it." Like, dead serious.
Are you going to come out of it with a Klein-level work? No. Dude was bonkers skilled. But I am here to tell you that if you've ever gone to Home Depot and shuffled through paint chips and been like "God, this is such a gorgeous color, I fucking love this color" and then immediately been like "...but I can't imagine painting a wall with it." and bought a can of soul-killing eggshell off-white or what the fuck ever, you absolutely can go pick up a $10 canvas from a craftstore and a $5 sample of that color and just hang 6 square feet of it on a wall and enjoy the fuck out of it.
For real, buds. If you see an artwork and you're like "Shit, I could have made that," that is a reminder that god can't stop you and probably neither can science.
what if i grew up idolising you but also having a close personal relationship with you and loving you deeply and you loved me just as deeply and then you went on to do crazy things in the sport we both play and i idolised you even more and i loved you even more and the more we grow up the more i admire you, the more i love you, and the more i can get close to you tennistically too... and then we won the davis cup together
“When you send me for a role and it says ‘South Asian, his name is Raj’ … I say ‘I don’t fucking want it.’ And then the next one comes in and it says it doesn’t have a race. ‘This is John. 30s. Handsome.’ … When it says that, I want that fucking role. So I want to take from the majority. That’s the only time I think about race.” —Rahul Kohli on Blackman Beyond podcast
Anyway I love trans people so much. Our existence is something to be embraced and celebrated; we are wonderful, godlike even. Deciding for yourself exactly who you are and how you want to live in your own body is downright godlike in its own right.
the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.
'“The U.S. Army brought the leading citizens of Ohrdruf to tour the facility, which turned out to be part of the Buchenwald network of concentration camps. A U.S Army colonel told the German civilians who viewed the scenes that they were to blame. One of the Germans replied that what happened in the camp was 'done by a few people,’ and ‘you cannot blame us all.’ And the American, who could have been any one of our grandfathers, said 'This was done by those that the German people chose to lead them, and all are responsible.'"
"The morning after the tour, the Mayor of Ohrdruf killed himself. And maybe he did not know the full extent of the outrages that were committed in his community, but he knew enough. And we don't know exactly how ICE will use this warehouse. But we know enough. I ask you to consider what the Mayor of Ordruf might have thought before he died. Maybe he felt like a victim. He might have thought 'How is this my fault? I have no jurisdiction over this.' Maybe he would have said, 'This site was not subject to local zoning, what could I do?' But I think, when he reflected on the suffering that occurred at this camp, just outside of town, that those words would have sounded hollow even to him. Because in his heart he knew, as we do, that we are all responsible for what happens in our community.”
Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before
We are All Responsible for What Happens in our Community
There are ordinary heroes everywhere. All hail, the good citizens of Surprise, Arizona!
'“The U.S. Army brought the leading citizens of Ohr
Arizona Right Watch also posted a video of within the warehouse.
I recommend watching it.
This, this is the first time I've seen a concentration camp before it became a concentration camp.
This is the first time I've seen a place and known that people are going to be tortured there, that people are going to die horribly there. If it's not stopped.
We have to stop it. We just don't have any other choice.
You may have seen pictures of concentration camps after they were liberated, but this is the first time you've seen a concentration camp before it became one.
You saw photos of an atrocity you couldn't do anything about.
Good-bye to spring
And all it meant to me
It can never bring the thing that used to be
For I must have you or no one
And so I'm through with love
And so I'm through with
Baby, I'm through with love
Okay so imagine you're Shane Hollander. The only thing you've ever really cared about it hockey and you care about it to a degree that most people find genuinely annoying and/or worrying. But also, you're indisputably the best at it. Good enough to go pro. In fact, good enough to kind of be the best there too, although perhaps not indisputably because of this one guy who also might be the best.
You've never really been all that interested in dating but honestly, that might just be because it's not hockey. Girls don't really hold your interest. Sex isn't all that it's chalked up to be. It's not really a problem. It doesn't really matter. Only then this one guy who also maybe might be the best is right there and he's making you feel things you've never felt before and he's funny and a bit of an asshole and he takes charge so you don't have to feel like you're doing anything wrong and suddenly you're burning up with desire and suddenly you understand why people like sex so much and also he's so good at hockey and indisputably your match and no one will ever truly understand it but there really could not ever have been anyone else for you.
@amailboxlemur and I, certified Canadians, have heard some people are interested in maybe writing some hockey! So here is a total beginners guide to the codified bar brawl that is this sport. This is angled more towards people who want to write or read hockey romance fic and not as a how to guide for watchers.
Overview:
hockey overview
team structure
important rules and penalties
FIGHTING IS ABOUT HONOUR
playoffs
the draft
fun facts
What is hockey?
Hockey is a prank invented by Canadians to sell zambonis.
It’s a full-contact sport on ice. Two teams of 6 (1 goalie, 3 forwards, 2 defensemen) face off on a rink and try to get pucks in the net. Critical to get pucks on net, we gotta get pucks on net.
Hockey is played in 3 periods of 20 minutes but! They stop for commercials (real. they skate around in circles waiting for the commercials in the broadcast to be over). Also, the clock stops whenever play stops, so a game can take upwards of 2.5 hours. In the regular season, if a game is a draw at the end of regulation they play a 5 minute overtime of 3 vs 3. Once a goal is scored the game ends immediately. If no one scores, there’s a shootout where teams take penalty shots until someone wins. Unlike football fans, hockey fans hate the shootout and think it’s stupid.
There are 82 games per team in the regular season and then playoffs. In my experience, this means there is always hockey and you can never escape. The 2025 hockey playoffs ended June 17. June!! Even in Edmonton the snow has all melted.
Actually playing hockey is fun. Watching hockey is a bit like watching fish at the aquarium, they are swimming back and forth very smooth on their skates and then every once in a while big steam goes off to let you know they scored. Some people say they can see the puck and they are fucking liars.
(Amber note: it is incredibly obvious oiler #25 has the puck in this screenshot, just sayin. Phnelt counterpoint: yeah it's obvious in a PICTURE)
Types of players:
Forwards: forwards go forward with the puck and try to score
Defensemen: defensemen stay behind and stop the opposing team’s forwards from scoring. That said, defenders play very far up in comparison to other sports and might be expected to score, if that's the case they play both ways and are called a two way defender (trying to resist making a bisexual joke rn)
Goalies: goalies stay near the net and stop pucks from entering it. Goalies are strange and peculiar creatures, you have to be to willingly take a job where players shoot vulcanized rubber at your head at 100 miles an hour. They can also go into the full splits to stop a puck from going through their five hole (space between their legs).
Shifts and lines:
While the game takes place in 3 20 minute periods each player only plays ~45 seconds at a time. This is called a ‘shift.’ Shifts are taken with a skaters linemates (lineys). Players can decide their shift is over at any time by basically leaving the ice. Once they leave the ice the next shift hops over the boards and play continues.
This is different to most other sports where substitutions are organised and can lead to the best penalty that exists in any sport: too many men. Sometimes they just get excited and then there are Too Many Men.
Snoop Dogg explains line changes with visuals of how that works here: Hockey 101 with Snoop Dogg | Ep 5: Line Changes
For my money, if you’re writing a fic about hockey players putting in lines and line changes is the most important thing to give it a realism feeling. Also! The bond between linemates. Those are each other’s guys. They have to move like a multi-bodied single organism, sensing where each other are, passing puck to stick, positioning themselves correctly, and celebrating together.
Organising lines: The forwards are organised into 4 lines of 3 players each. The best forwards are on the first line and then less good as you go on. Each line of forwards consists of a centre and a left- and right-winger (the joke writes itself - aren’t they all right-wingers).
There are 6 defensemen organized into three pairs. Again the first pair is the best and the 3rd pair is the worst.
Skill Players v Goons:
This is not a thing so much in hockey anymore because it’s kind of a waste of space on a team to have a guy who is just a brute but there is still a rough distinction between star players and guys who are more ‘physical’ aka violent. In hockey, a goon is the guy who comes out to rough up an opposing player or fight them.
We don't do that anymore.
But doesn't mean that some players aren't huge dicks on the ice.
An example of a modern player who is known for his reputation is Brad Marchand. He’s notable for having aggressively licked opposing players on multiple occasions. Let’s also remember these guys are sweaty and have disgusting facial hair and he licked them.
(stil can't believe he did this)
Wait, there’s fighting? Boy is there ever.
Fighting in hockey:
Hockey is a full-contact sport but in addition to that players can literally fight each other.
Fighting is a mini-game inside of a hockey match that can be triggered in the event of a transgression against a team member. It’s important to note that fighting isn’t spontaneous and can’t be done whenever. There must be a clear insult or infraction that is visible to an outside observer and that can trigger a fight.
Example scenario: The Oilers star forward Connor McDavid (also known as McJesus) attempts to score against the objectively evil Florida Panthers. When he is skating around the net to get into position, an evil Panther comes up behind him and pushes him into the boards. Next shift, a defenseman approaches the offending Panther, drops his gloves, grabs his jersey, and punches him in the face. Opposing members of the team match up and hold onto each other while the fight goes on.
Let’s break that down:
skills player interfered with
pushed from behind! only push when they can see it coming so they don’t get really hurt
designated fighter on the team squares up against the transgressor
fight is 1:1
gloves are dropped to indicate intention to fight. The other guy can decline to fight but that’s a huge blow to his honour so it never happens
grab the jersey - this is critical because of Newton’s second law. Punch a guy while wearing skates and you will sort of glide away so you gotta grip on
Opposing team members match up so no one ends up in a pile on. Fights must never be uneven numbers
Beatings continue until morale improves. There’s no hard and fast rule for how long a fight can go on for but eventually the ref will break it up and the fighters get a penalty but crucially keep their honour which matters more.
Other no nos that can lead to fights are hitting younger players (rookies), hitting someone in the head or hitting a goalie. Sometimes notable fighters will fight on special occasions like their 1000th game or if they’re playing against another notable fighter.
Yes, this sport is toxic masculinity on ice.
Penalties and the Sin Bin
To explain penalties it first helps to explain what IS allowed. It’s allowed to push a player out of your way. It’s allowed to get close to the goalie and make contact with them (though that might get you fought) (it also might be goalie interference but no one knows what that is). It’s okay to push someone into the boards. It’s okay to skate behind the net.
What ISN’T okay is anything that is considered too dangerous and anything that prevents play or unbalances the game.
Minor penalties (2 mins in the box) (these are what they sound like. Well. they aren’t. Because they sound like street crimes. But imagine them on ice)
tripping
hooking: wrapping your stick around someone so they can’t skate where they want to go
holding
high sticking: hitting someone in the face with your stick
slashing: hitting someone not in the face with your stick
cross-checking: holding your stick with both hands and shoving someone with it
interference: messing with a player who doesn’t have the puck. As pundit Steve Dangle notes, that would include kissing an opposing team player. No rules against kissing teammates.
Major Penalties (5 mins in the box)
boarding: pushing someone into the boards from behind
checking from behind
fighting
minor penalties can become major if the ref feels it was particularly egregious. what makes something egregious? no one knows
If a penalty causes a player to bleed, it becomes 4 minutes
Non-violent penalties:
too many men: too many misters not enough sisters
delay of game: when a player doesn’t want to get scored on so he shoots the puck into the stands
Penalties are punished with a trip to the penalty box aka sin bin. Go in there and think about what you’ve done.
There’s no limit to how many players can be in the penalty box.
When players are in the box play continues and that’s called a ‘power play’ because the other team now has more players on the ice. The team with a player in the box is on the ‘penalty kill.’
A power play is over when the team that’s up a player scores and when that happens the guy in the box is allowed out.
Non penalties that are also against the rules:
icing: thwacking the puck to the other side of the rink. Puck must be accompanied by a player. Icing is allowed for a team that is on the penalty kill
offside: when a forward crosses into the offensive zone ahead of the puck. To prevent this forwards try to cross the blue line together so they’ll like charge forward and then wait until they can go forward as a unit
high stick (not to be confused with with high sticking): hitting the puck with your stick above your shoulders like a baseball bat
hand pass: throwing the puck to your teammate
Playoffs
The entire purpose of the regular season is to get enough points from winning to get to the playoffs. Nothing from the regular season matters aside from that and uh, sometimes you can tell when a team is saving themself after getting enough or when they’ve collapsed into a puddle of demoralisation.
Playoffs are run geographically and in a series of best of 7. We’re not going to get into the details of this aside from that. Just know that it’s not single elimination, each playoff matchup is best of 7 so they have to play each other at least four times.
Players drop a ton of weight during the playoffs due to the intensity. They become gaunt husks of their former selves with terrible facial hair. Glory isn't glamorous.
The winner of the playoffs wins the Stanley Cup, the highest honour in hockeydom.
It’s traditional to put your baby in the cup.
The Draft
A very good hockey player will eventually be able to have some control over what team they play for. But not when they start. Unlike some sports where talent is scouted and then signed, hockey uses a common North American framework known as the draft.
To be drafted a player must be between 18-21 if North American and 18-22 if European. Then the teams enter the draft lottery and the worst team of the previous year gets to pick first.
It’s prestigious to be picked first in the draft because that means that the player’s junior career was really strong, but it does mean they are going to a bad team. That can be terrible if it’s a team that sucks and continues to suck (Sabres) and can be okay if it’s a team that is only sucking temporarily, possibly because they’ve tanked on purpose to try and get a really good junior player, or because they are currently building back up to being strong.
Fun Details For Writers:
hockey terminology. Hockey is a subculture with a lot of terminology. Some highlights include chirping (insults), flow (long hair that flutters enticingly), pigeon (common chirp for a guy who doesn’t do much), bucket (helmet), tarp off (shirt off), beauty (slang for good. everything is beauty. that beer’s a beaut. that goals a beauty), celly (celebration)
Playoff beards. Players always grow terrible facial hair during the playoffs and their masculinity is judged by how well they grow it
Billeting, junior tournaments, international tournaments, and the all-stars game: there are many ways that players who are not on the same team might end up playing together or living together. Junior players live at the houses of hockey families, and often rookies will also live for a year or two with an older player. Players also might be playing for their country which can be an opportunity to shove your homoerotic yearning but cruelly separated guys into the same space. Same with the all-star game
Dump truck ass. Because players spend their entire lives in a half squat they have cake for days. Buying pants is a well-documented challenge
and that's part 1! If you have questions about the actual rules, direct those to Amber. If you've got questions about how to opportunities for homoeroticism, you can come to me!
Other intro guides: hockey for newbies | Penalties | Goalies | Shots | The Draft | Herr Dr Professor Brofisting's Visual Guide
Pt 2: life cycle of a hockey player | Pt 3: hockey vibes
good thing they didnt have Grindr during the age of sail imagine coming into range of the enemy and in the tense quiet before the storm all your officers' phones go off
"Shane Hollander has only started one fight on the ice" INCORRECT. While yes he fights slightly less than some of the other guys on his team, my dude is still in a full contact sport with some of the most toxic masculinity on this forsaken earth. He has both started AND finished fights on the ice. There is a racist center in Vegas who can't make eye contact with him anymore because Shane knocked out one of his teeth the last time he so much as dared. There are D-men the league over who would never willingly pick a fight with Rozanov because they know what he can do, but who would LITERALLY rather die than pick a fight with Hollander because they've seen the way his eyes go blank when provoked and they don't wanna find OUT what that guy might do to them. There is a rookie in Tampa who will forever live with the memory of having his shit rocked by Shane Hollander, who grabbed onto the scruff of his neck and snarled, "Keep my husband's name out of your fucking mouth, I will not teach you this fucking lesson again." There are wingers in Montreal who are trauma bonded over the experience of watching Hollander jump the boards, point at them, bare his teeth and drop his gloves.
There is a center in Ottawa who kisses his cross before every game and whispers, "Please God let someone piss Hollander off tonight."
NO ONE knows how to use thou/thee/thy/thine and i need to see that change if ur going to keep making “talking like a medieval peasant” jokes. /lh
They play the same roles as I/me/my/mine. In modern english, we use “you” for both the subject and the direct object/object of preposition/etc, so it’s difficult to compare “thou” to “you”.
So the trick is this: if you are trying to turn something Olde, first turn every “you” into first-person and then replace it like so:
“I” → “thou”
“Me” → “thee”
“My” → “thy”
“Mine” → “thine”
Let’s suppose we had the sentences “You have a cow. He gave it to you. It is your cow. The cow is yours”.
We could first imagine it in the first person-
“I have a cow. He gave it to me. It is my cow. The cow is mine”.
And then replace it-
“Thou hast a cow. He gave it to thee. It is thy cow. The cow is thine.”
This is perfect and the only thing missing is that when “thy” comes before a vowel it’s replaced by “thine”, i.e. “thy nose” but “thine eyes.” English used to do this with my and mine too (and still does with a and an).
The second person singular verb ending is -(e)st. In the present tense, it works more or less like the third person singular ending, -s:
I sleep in the attic. Thou sleepest in the attic. He sleeps in the attic.
I love pickles. Thou lovest pickles. He loves pickles.
I go to school. Thou goest to school. He goes to school.
The -(e)st ending is only added to one word in a compound verb. This is where a lot of people make mistakes:
I will believe it when I see it. Thou wilt believe it when thou seest it. He will believe it when he sees it.
NOT
*thou willst believest it! NOPE! This is wrong
If you’re not sure, try saying it in the third person and replacing the -(e)st with -s:
*He will believes it when he sees it. ALSO NOPE!
In general, if there’s one auxiliary, it takes the -(e)st ending) and the main verb does not. If there are multiple auxiliaries, only one of them takes -(e)st:
I could eat a horse. Thou couldst eat a horse. He could eat a horse.
I should go. Thou shouldst go. He should go.
I would have gone. Thou wouldst have gone. He wouldst have gone.
You can reduce the full -est ending to -st in poetry, if you need to drop a syllable:
thou sleepst, thou lov'st.
In some common words–mostly auxiliary verbs, or what you might have learned as “helping verbs”–the ending is always reduced:
I can swim. Thou canst swim. He can swim.
Sometimes this reduction takes the last consonant of the stem with it:
I have a cow. Thou hast a cow. He has a cow.
Or reduces the -st down to -t:
I must believe her. Thou must believe her. He must believe her.
I shall not kill. Thou shalt not kill. He shall not kill.
However! UNLIKE the third-person singular -s, the second person -(e)st is ALSO added to PAST TENSE words, either to the past stem in strong (irregular) verbs or AFTER THE -ed in weak (regular) verbs:
I gave her the horse. Thou gavest her the horse. He gave her the horse.
I made a pie. Thou mad’st a pie. He made a pie.
I wanted to go. Thou wantedst to go. He wanted to go.
This is different from the third person!
*He gaves her the horse. He mades a pie. He wanteds to go. SO MUCH NOPE!
It’s not wrong to add -(e)st to a long Latinate verb in the past tense, but it’s unusual; it’s much more common to use a helping verb instead:
I delivered the letter. (Great!)
Thou deliveredst the letter. (Not wrong, but weird)
He delivered the letter. (Great!)
I did deliver the letter. (Normal if emphatic, or an answer to a question; otherwise, a little weird.)
Thou didst deliver the letter. (Great!)
And a couple last things:
1.) Third-person -(e)th is mostly equivalent to and interchangeable with third-person -s:
I have a cow. Thou hast a cow. He hath a cow.
I love her. Thou lovest her. He loveth her.
I do not understand. Thou dost not understand. He doth not understand.
HOWEVER! Third-person -(e)th, unlike -s but like -(e)st, can, sometimes, go on STRONG past-tense verbs:
I gave her the cow. Thou gavest her the cow. He gaveth her the cow.
This never happens with weak verbs:
*He lovedeth her. NOPE NOPE NOPE!
And even with strong verbs, from Early Modern (e.g., Shakespearean) English onward, it’s quite rare. But you will see it from time to time.
2.) In contemporary Modern English, we invert the order of subjects and auxiliary verbs in questions:
Will I die? I will die.
Has she eaten? She has eaten.
If there’s no auxiliary, we add one–do–and invert that:
Do you hear the people sing? You (do) hear the people sing.
In Early Modern English, this process was optional, and mostly used for emphasis; all verbs could be and were moved to the front of the sentence in questions:
Hear ye the people sing? (Or singen, if we’re early enough to still be inflecting infinitives.)
Do-support was also optional for negatives:
I don’t like him. I like him not.
Thou dost not care. Thou carest not.
She does not love thee. She loves thee not.
3.) Imperative verbs never take endings:
Hear ye, hear ye!
Go thou and do likewise!
Give me thy hand. Take thou this sword.
4.) Singular ‘you’–that is, calling a singular person by a plural pronoun–arose as a politeness marker; and ‘thou’ fell out of use because it eventually came to be seen as impolite in almost all contexts. In general, once singular ‘you’ comes into use, it is used for addressing
people of higher social status than the speaker
or of equivalent status, if both speakers are high-status
strangers
anyone the speaker wants to flatter
‘Thou’ is used for
people of lower social status than the speaker
family and intimate friends
children
anyone the speaker wants to insult
It is safer to ‘you’ someone who doesn’t necessarily warrant ‘you’ than to ‘thou’ someone who does.
5.) And finally, that ‘ye’? That’s the nominative form of you–the one that’s equivalent to ‘I’ or ‘we.’
If you want a book series where the formal you and thee/thine/thou is used super accurately (and to an emotionally devastating effect in certain parts), I cannot recommend the Goblin Emperor and its sequel series The Cemeteries of Ámalo strongly enough.
Okay no Chicago is not a coastal city. When I moved up to the Midwest (currently in iowa) and I heard someone say "let's go to the beach" and they meant TO A LAKE I about died. The beach is Galveston, corpus Christi, Miami, etc. Beaches are where the land touches THE OCEAN. not a lake!! I will die on this hill!!!! Midwesterners just want to pretend like their states aren't boring as fuck. Be happy with your great lakes and stop calling them beaches! They're lake shores!
If you say beach and you mean to include lake shores then you're admitting your state is boring and also you're wrong bc nobody thinks "beach" and by *default* includes lake superior or wtv
if you're in a state that borders the ocean you can't call a lake a beach BUT if you're in a state with huge lakes and no oceans you can absolutely call a big enough lake shore a beach. some lake shores are very very beach like
Well also Coastal Cities and Coastal Elites just means like East Coast and West Coast, that's why Portland is counted. So like the states are coastal, not necessarily the cities.
As a Portlander, none of us consider our city actually costal.
Chicago is not a coastal city as it's not on the ocean. Coastal Cities and Coastal Elites are buzzwords to say "these places are out of touch with middle america" and by middle america they mean the midwest (which is not in the middle but is still called the midwest). They will never call the people of Charleston, SC Coastal Elites despite Charleston being on the Atlantic coast because to the people who came up with the buzzword, that's not a place for Elites because it isn't the ~Left Coast~ (aka the Pacific coast of the United States that trends more liberal in the liberal-conservative political divide) or the Northeast.
Anyways if you don't consider Chicago a coastal city because the water is mostly enclosed and can only leave by river or one other entrance than by your own logic New Haven isn't a Coastal City because it is in the Long Island Sound
