A snake that’s wide instead of long
Please don’t mind my real fast MS paint version of this.
those are his arms he wants a hug :(
hug!!
consider

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Kiana Khansmith

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@quecamber
A snake that’s wide instead of long
Please don’t mind my real fast MS paint version of this.
those are his arms he wants a hug :(
hug!!
consider
in 10 yrs this post will be utterly incomprehensible and i love that
Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.
Auntie Hella checking on the Papillon puppies… she never had a litter of her own so she always cared for all the pups born here at #tantezampekennel
sometimes youtube comments are complete garbage and then there are comments like this
Drop the link op!!??
here you go!
warning: it is absolutely not what you’re expecting
as if i could possibly be expecting anything at all based on just that comment
Please god click the link
poor baby drank too much milk :(
lost in the sauce
HE’S SO ROUNDE
fuck diamonds. girls don’t want diamonds. girls want over 40 pounds of freshly caught alaskan salmon
The first few months had been, without a doubt, the hardest months of my life. Come in, data entry, lunch, data entry, leave. Over and over. For four hours and then four more. Government work. I thought I had the most boring job in the world, and I wasn’t willing to hear any different. But then I met Jess.
She came over to my cubicle one day. I paused from my spreadsheet and looked up at her, thinking she must be a supervisor if she was visiting me. I earnestly awaited my reprimand. None came.
“Hi, I’m Jess. From accounting. Thought you’d want to know that we have some birthday cake in the break room. It’s Curtis’ birthday.”
I had absolutely no idea we had a break room. Or who Curtis was.
“Oh, thanks for letting me know.”
She stood there, smiling, probably waiting for me to introduce myself or make some other kind of small talk.
“I’ll be sure to get some,” I half-lied. Again, I had no idea where this break room was.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
He had fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. I chuckled quietly to myself as I nodded and walked away, knowing he’d earnestly search for the break room but never find it. We hadn’t had one in six years, ever since the Manhattan and magnet incidents. It just didn’t exist, and he had no idea. The only problem would be if he headed west to look for it, but hey, the odds of that were one in four, right?
Yes, I admit it, I was pressured into doing the prank by the other girls - the accounting girls - the cattiest of the catty. It was a club I had never signed up for but was indoctrinated into regardless. It was my duty, I suppose, and I had to put on a brave face.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
The offer, at the very least, gave me an opportunity to explore around the office. I had never ventured beyond the direct path between the entrance, my cubicle, and the bathroom before, so I eagerly appreciated a chance to expand my horizons.
I set off west, like the pioneers before me. Passing by rows and rows of desks, huddled masses of people like me, cowering over their screens, worrying about their words per minute and efficiency ratios. I shuddered reflexively, worrying I might get caught skipping out on work like this. But the promise of cake, and the curiosity of it as well, kept me walking. West.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
The guilt had caught up to me by now. I rushed back to his cubicle, eager to repent and tell the truth, worried that he may have gone west. When I got there he was gone. I started to panic. He, maybe, like so many others before him, had definitely, certainly, tragically gone west.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
The air was getting colder, damper, and the offices were now more spread apart. I had noticed also that the lighting had gotten worse; flickers of static and sparks set off a show around me, their light casting unexpected and menacing shadows. The echoes of someone crying off in the distance occasionally reached my ears. I had lost track of time. How far had I traveled down this winding series of hallways? How long had I been gone? The paint was chipping. My feet were sore.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
By this time, he had to be in the outer rim of the complex. I started to fast walk, and then jog, desperate to stop him, to shout out, to save this one. The fear and guilt again washed over me. I had to do more. Throwing off my heels, I darted into a full on sprint. He must stop. He must.
WE NOW SWITCH PERSPECTIVE
I glanced down at my watch. It said three hours had past, but, no, I was just remembering wrong, surely. How could I have spent that long walking? I looked around my position for what seemed like the first time in years. The offices were empty. The carpet had somehow switched to cold, unforgiving tile. All sounds were gone, blank, muted, silenced. A acidic, caustic, yet captivating odor floated around my head and breached my lungs. Where was I? Where was I? Where was I? And then, without warning, I was in the dark.
THERE IS ONE PERSPECTIVE
I had lost him.
Three men standing in a dirt field eating large pieces of flatbread Mesopotamia (undated)
i literally cannot stop thinking about this video it’s ruining my life
vine walked so tik tok could soar: a compilation
tik tok has a much more surreal quality to it then vine
cat sounds, rated
mrow?: inquisitive. timeless. succinct and to the point. 8/10
purr: is there anything better? 10/10
silent judgement: not a cat sound. does not count. 0/10
mow-wow-wow!: exuberant. joyful. a frank delight. you should be so lucky as to hear this cat sound on a regular basis. 9/10
AAAAAAAA: obnoxious. loud. why is my tiny bastard screaming? 3/10
rrrrrrrrrrrrr!: your cat is angry. this is a bad cat sound, but ultimately necessary so that you understand their displeasure. 5/10
mrrrp: cat activation noise. melodic. flawless vibrato. short and sweet. 9/10
the classic yodel: everyone loves a good yodel. shows off your cat’s vocal range. emotional. plaintive yet hopeful. showstopping. 8.5/10
the classic yodel after 1 AM: no!!!!!!!! -10000/10
i love that mayhem is a legal term. like u can be charged with mayhem. its like arresting someone for funny business
the jury finds the defendant GUILTY on all accounts of tomfoolery, japing and generally Taking the Piss
causing a ruckus
My client pleads not guilty on three charges of being back on his bullshit
The holidays take a dark turn as a crisis unfolds in our household
reblog to help him get off the chair, like to help him jump onto another surface
I think he likes it. (photo via pebes)
“Holy shit” the only appropriate response before this statue kills you
buddha off the shits
BUDDHA OFF THE SHITS
500-Year-Old Body of Man Wearing Thigh-High Boots Found in London Sewer Construction
During the construction of London’s massive “super sewer,” archaeologists discovered something unusual in the mud: a 500-year-old skeleton of a man still wearing his thigh-high leather boots.
The Museum of London Archaeology (MOLA) announced this week that the skeleton was unearthed on the shores of the Thames, near a bend in the river downstream from the Tower of London.
“By studying the boots, we’ve been able to gain a fascinating glimpse into the daily life of a man who lived as many as 500 years ago,” said Beth Richardson, a finds specialist who analyzes artifacts at MOLA Headland, a consortium of archaeologists. “They have helped us to better understand how he may have made his living in hazardous and difficult conditions, but also how he may have died. It has been a privilege to be able to study something so rare and so personal.” Read more.
Archaeologists:
500-year old skeleton: