mmmmmm cofy

Jess | 23 | Australian | cool of head, dumb of ass

[evilvillain123456789]

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

[despazito]

prolonged argentina humiliation ritual

[despazito]

spain was playing football argentina was playing wwe smackdown raw

[gothhabiba]

I love not playing along

[gothhabiba]

"she's gained a lot of weight lately" "oh, good for her"

"on the wrong side of 40" "huh, which side is that?"

❗️I am not playing along with you❗️

[augustfairie]

“ how do you expect to catch a man at your age?” “Rope”

[blessthosewhocurseyou]

Hole in the ground camouflaged with leaves

[pancakeke]

this morning i got a spam call that just played clown waiting music for a few seconds and then hung up on me. which really pissed me off a lot

[pancakeke]

looking for a job and hoping for a callback only to get clownrolled is insane

[dogpuppy]

[swarnpert]

[pettycentral]

[coochie-bandit]

[sproutlett]

if you’re not paying attention to trees and how they sway in the wind then what are you even doing

[poketcg-art]

Bidoof -- Kagemaru Himeno

[transmechanicus]

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[vmprblood]

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

[transmechanicus]

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

[yellow-cat]

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

[thisisdogs]

weird animals run all the time dude

[yellow-cat]

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG

[pauljpeg]

"I want molly" "I want percs" well you're getting leeches

[penny-anna]

get im

[penny-anna]

[friendlyfrankenstein]

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

[retroactivebakeries]

[kiradical]

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[occasionaltmblrforafreehero]

[deslizada]

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

[nalivaa]

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

[lelouch]

they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries