QuotingMachine @quoting-machine - Tumblr Blog

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

moonshynecybin

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

moonshynecybin

garakcore

and andrew j robinson has done it again folks

zooiboo

🐌☕️ ☕️🐛

they’re on a coffee date

lylahammar

We’ve found a new game

lylahammar

did u guys know that if ur cat goes viral someone will make a vtube model of it

brucemanimean-batwayne

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

snow124-art

They work together, but they can also go on vacation together, right?)

snow124-art

protecting the sleep of loved ones

hypotenussy

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

thecharmingquirksofothers

incredible prev tags

mistressaccost

genuinely do NOT want the world to see me because i don’t think that they’d understand

luckeyzs

see him schmoove

thatpumpkinmf

Pulling up to the best mcr lyric competition but 'I'm the only friend that makes you cry, you're a heart attack in black hair dye' is already there

whitepeopletwitter

debkorvelus

I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing. There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, it’s not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it. If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes.

nutsacktorturer

gigastacyy-deactivated20231011

my friend visiting my house: hey i’m thirsty can i get a glass of water

me:

stormesandshowers

Nestle isn’t gonna fuck you

asingularcanadian

Also water IS a human right, it’s classified as one by the UN the only country that really disagrees with this is the United States

ruffboi-mags

I know this post is a few years old, but I stumbled on it and I just want to also point out… Even aside from water being free or not, even aside from water being a human right,

the old man wasn’t stealing.

He was using a neighbor’s water, that the neighbor pays for, with the neighbor’s permission. Nothing was stolen. The old man just wasn’t the one paying. If someone comes to my house and I let them charge their phone while they’re there, are they STEALING electricity because I’m the one who pays the electric bill? If I take someone out to dinner, are they STEALING their meal if I pay for both of us? Get fucked.

I hope that person has become a better kinder person since 2021, but I"m not holding my breath.

m-has-a-blog

Lovely sentiment but the way it’s worded sounds like this dude got fucking killed during a little league game

justsomeguycore

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

nat-20s

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

nat-20s

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

nat-20s

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

stellacartography

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.