Yes this is a bus on rails

no we are not staying on the rails you have a MEETING IN 3 MINUTES

[phantomtrax]

Disco Elysium Peggle minigame

[phantomtrax]

[docdufresne]

Had a dream last night that i was a knight and this bigger scarier knight had me on the ground and right before he swung his sword at my neck he said smth like "i mourn the loss of life for the tree who will become your coffin" which shouldnt have turned me on like it did but alas

[dragongirlmesilune]

@theshitpostcalligrapher I think I found one for you.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

sweeeeeeet

ink: diamine oxblood

[glumshoe]

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

[mettic]

The dandelions aren’t gonna fuck you bro

[glumshoe]

they have and they will

[thememedaddy]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[delmondo]

mid-ps3 era game protagonist voice my name is Drayton Conners.

[fleshinstinct]

ao oni comic

[nem23]

[prokopetz]

“So let me get this straight. We’re here to rescue a princess.”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service branches.“

“Huh. And the princess we’re rescuing today is in charge of…?”

“Public sanitation.”

“The Lord of Death’s Dominion kidnapped your public sanitation director?”

“We think he’s a little confused.”

[armed-with-knitting-needles]

I laughed too hard not to reblog this.

[teaboot]

I mean. If your goal is to cause maximum death, letting trash, sewage, tainted water, and biohazardous waste pile up in a populated area with zero oversight is a pretty efficient way to go about it

[prokopetz]

See, the idea that taking out the appointed head of the government department in charge of public sanitation oversight would cause the day-to-day business of public sanitation to immediately cease is exactly the sort of confusion we’re talking about here.

[tanadrin]

I wonder if vets are amused by asking cat owners to administer medications in increasingly improbable ways. “Give this cat eye drops five times a day.” Like. I will. Of course I will; I care about my cat. But this is going to be some fucking looney tunes shenanigans once she figures out what’s going on.

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[im-mender]

No joke this vine has a better understanding of transmisogyny than 40% of this website

[zrrion]

Sledge hammer is good, no notes.

War hammer is a little outdated cause we mostly use guns now.

Framing hammer is fine and honorable.

Claw hammer sounds scary but its basically the most normal sort of hammer there is.

Ball Peen hammer is the kind that people ignorant of hammering will question you on. "It's for peening" you say but they won't believe you.

And that's it. Everything else is a mallet or some such. There should be more hammers. I want a garlic hammer. A book hammer. Idk just want more options.

[mangedog]

this is a way better model... you'll still get transphobic & intersexist drs of course but i prefer this to male / female or even having separate questions for gender & sex.

[we can't see the full form, but i'd suggest having a "something else" option and dominant hormone question too.]

[queen-simia]

as a cis woman who's had a hysterectomy and partial oophorectomy, this would be helpful for me, too! it'd be pointless to try to diagnose me for disorders that affect organs I don't have anymore, after all.

being inclusive helps us ALL. 💖

[3liza]

we could probably calculate the amount of man hours wasted on testing trans women and women who have had hysterectomies or oophorectomies for pregnancy every time they're admitted to the emergency room and justify it on that basis alone.

[cannibalchicken]

make better choices

[tkingfisher]

So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.

Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)

The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)

The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.

In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.

[grimsauce]

[tkingfisher]

EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably

[ms-demeanor]

Remember when that girl tried to say that firefox was bad because a former CEO was homophobic and I pointed out why that was a terrible take (throwing out the baby [open source non-google web browser with great extensions] with the bathwater [dipshit who left like ten years ago and also developed javascript and i don't see you ditching all sites with java for your principles]) and she went and looked through my posts and tried to call me out for supporting hyperconsumptive capitalism and encouraging anorexia because I'd reblogged a photoset from a runway show and I was like "bitch I don't care about fashion, I've got a latex fetish" and then she blocked me?

That was very funny.

[awkardvagabond]

[ms-demeanor]

We have a dedicated one of these to use on my posts:

[netherworldpost]

This is a great, great story.

It feels like “custom drive through window meme response icon” is a hugely untapped art market with (relatively) low risk/work ratio.

[neil-gaiman]

I am genuinely sorry to bother you with this, but I am hoping you can help settle what is becoming a very unpleasant multi-fandom argument-is Crowley canonically gay? Some people feel he is, some people feel he may be bi/pan, but there is quite a lot of nastiness floating around Tumblr aimed at people who wish to write fan fic about Crowley having romantic interest in people other than Aziraphale. Any insight you could offer into these characters would be much appreciated. You're a treasure. <3

I suspect that I’m about to step into something I would be wisest to keep well away from. But what the hell, it’s that time between Christmas and New Year’s. And nobody’s yelled at me over the internet since I said that the TV Aziraphale doesn’t use a cell phone. *

Canonically, which is to say using the text in the book, you don’t get any description of Crowley’s sex life. The only thing the book says is “angels are sexless unless they specifically make an effort”.  You can infer, and (more to the point) you can imagine, and lots of people have chosen, not unreasonably, to ship him with Aziraphale, but you are still Making Stuff Up. It could be Making Stuff Up that happens between paragraphs, or Making Stuff Up that isn’t mentioned at all, but it’s still Making Stuff Up.** (And using the kind of eagle-eyed textual analysis that Bible scholars used to decide exactly what a piece of four thousand year old verse definitely meant also counts here as Making Stuff Up.)

Which is the fun of fanfiction, and part of the tradition of fanfiction. As is, I’m afraid, grumbling at people who do not see that your ship is the only true ship, and choose to ship anyone else with anyone else.

If anyone decides that The Relationships in Their Fanfiction Are the Only True Fanfiction, it seems to me they are missing the point. The point is Fanfiction exists so that you can imagine, enjoy and fill in the gaps. The point is that you can change things and have fun with them. And the stories are absolutely true… for you.

The TV series gets deeper into Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. It’ll be canonical for the TV series, and not canonical for the book.*** 

If I were to Pronounce on things that are not explicitly stated in the book, I still wouldn’t be telling you if Crowley was Canonically Gay. I would be telling you what I think, because it’s not canon unless it’s in the book. It won’t be TV canon unless it’s on the screen.

So, do not worry what other people think, and do not worry about what they say. These are not things on which people can be right or wrong, or on which anything can be “settled”. 

Make fun fanfiction. Enjoy yourself. Make things up. Share them. That’s the point.

*People would only bother him on it. And if anyone gave him one as a present, it would be still be in its box, on the same shelf as the still-unboxed Kindle.

**Which was what Terry and I did when we wrote the book. And what I had to do for the TV scripts when I needed to take the story into places the book hadn’t covered.

***They don’t contradict each other, but there is territory covered by the TV series that isn’t covered by the book, particularly about Crowley and Aziraphale in bygone years. Also the Present Day in the book is probably the early 1990s, and the Present Day in the TV series is 2019ish, although 11 years ago in the book wasn’t particularly 1978, and 11 years ago on TV is post-ubiquitous cellphones but pre-smartphones.

[neil-gaiman]

From December 2017.