Randomness

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: you can avoid midlife crisis by literally simply just skipping it. Straight-up just skip being middle-aged. Once I turned 30 and aged out of the "young adult" bracket, I skipped straight into being a weird little old man. Record youngest bizarre old geezer in generations. Now if I'm lucky and play my cards right, I've got like 80 or 90 years of being a weird lttle old man left in me. If I manage to do a hundred, I'm going to start telling people that the secret to living to 130 is that I ate an entire pine cone every single day.

That, or that I can't die because heaven isn't taking me and the devil owes me money so he's avoiding me.

[hotvampireadjacent]

Ice suggesting a white woman remove the Mexican flag sticker from her car. Can they all kill themselves already

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine visiting a neighbour's apartment for the first time and everything they own seems to have a label sticker on it, labeling what it is. Like everything. You're sitting down at their table for coffee when you finally gather up the courage to ask why, exactly, does their toaster have a label on it that says "toaster".

And they just shrug and nonchalantly explain that oh yeah, my roommate is an immigrant, new to the country and still learning the language, so I figured that it'd be useful to have little everyday vocabulary scattered all over in places where they'll see them every day.

So you're relieved that there's a sensible explanation but kind of incredulous because these things are fucking everywhere. You noticed a doorknob that has a sticker saying "doorknob" on it, and the table you two are sitting at has separate labels for "table", "tabletop" and "table leg" on it. Is the labelling some kind of a long-time hobby they keep doing or did they do all of this all at once?

And they laugh like ohh of course not, no way I could've done all of this myself. I let the other neighbour's kids do it. I borrowed two different label makers from a friend, handed one to each kid and told them that the one who can label more things around the apartment wins.

[ooppo]

Trump is dead this and Trump is dead that. The obvious answer for Trump's sudden disappearance is that Trump has gone into his very first heat and the Whitehouse is trying to cover up that he's an Omega

[ooppo]

[lastoneout]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[quietwingsinthesky]

possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.

[boss-of-armadildos]

[math-is-magic]

#genuinely: this is what further research into the famous 'marshmallow test' showed#it wasn't that kids who were able to delay gratification were more likely to be successful later on#due to intrinsic qualities#it was that kids who had a stable upbringing were more likely to be successful#and ALSO: those kids had trust that their caregivers would keep promises#which is WHY they were willing to give up one marshmallow now for the promise of two marshmallows later#kids who did NOT have trustworthy caregivers#or who were in a fundamentally unstable situation#DID NOT have that trust so they wanted their one marshmallow NOW#same deal here i think#it's not that Gen Z is bratty#it's that they have no trust in the system and no faith that promises will be fulfilled#and frankly i do not blame them -@cicerfics

[jodiefoster]

basic human decency !!!!!!! Empathy and compassion !!!!!! Very sexy concepts !!!!!!

[byjove]

“my teenage child is so selfish” is an interesting thing I only see online moms say about their daughters. I’ve never seen one say it about their son. I think it’s because daughters enter the teenage years and begin developing critical thinking skills and independence and it enrages these parents who were using their kids as their own little therapists and unpaid domestic laborers.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every time I post about how much I hate my period some dumbass terf gets mad about my "internalized misogyny" for "hating my natural woman body" so periodic reminder that I'm a cis woman and I hate my period, my uterus can eat shit, and I'd flush my ovaries down the toilet given half an opportunity fuck this shit 🖕🖕🖕

[burins]

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

[morgangalaxy43]

The Avengers 2012 era was the best time ever in the fandom

Thor loves pop tarts, Clint lived in the vents, Bruce and Tony did science together, Steve was the mom friend of the team and did art in his free time, Natasha was cool aunt of the team, Loki was there too and a bunch of other characters like Peter, Sam, Bucky, Vision and Wanda all lived in the Avengers tower together

It was a much simpler time where everyone in the fandom was chill and having fun together

[wordsofdiana]

This was like the Pokémon Go summer for fandom

[gay-mormon-wizard]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

[lets-burn-down-the-post-office]

“I’ve been at the devil’s sacrament so long I forgot he wasn’t god” is getting added to the tumblr line book

[o-ceti]

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

[o-ceti]

Bow down to your king

[o-ceti]

I can’t stop outdoing myself

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

[eggblackoutpoetry]

woag

[saltybitchonmain]

Woop there it is

[technofeudalism]

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

[flamei7]

[postpoeticparadox]

holy shit bronze age pro sheep bone gamer girl

[roach-works]

this is hilarious but also im gonna cry like this teenage gamer died and they buried her with her high score. no one took back the pot or divided it up because no one would play against her again. her family and friends buried her with her wins. im crying

[classicalphan-deactivated201805]

respect girls with a chubby tummy respect girls with stretch marks respect girls with big thighs respect girls with hairy arms respect girls and their clothing of choice respect girls and their privacy respect girls and their confidence respect girls and their rights respect girls who arent fully transitioned yet respect girls with scars respect girls who like girls respect girls who like both guys and girls respect girls who are asexual

respect girls. dont treat them as objects.