Kat's Rambles

Hi. I'm Kat. Mostly I reblog things that I think are neat. Sometimes I make posts too, but they aren't very interesting.

[programmerhumour]

Relatable

[association-of-free-people]

🤔

[elpatron56]

[catboyspells]

I love Lilo And Stitch bc even though it makes me sad David just goes and blames what he thinks is a normal dog for making things worse for Nani and Lilo and it’s constantly funny to me

[catboyspells]

YOU DID THIS

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.

[wormcrud]

Well SOMEONE’S third eye is wide fucking open

[nymori]

I love this post so I made a thing.

[glumshoe]

I was washing my hair a little while ago and remembered a moment from preschool. A few of my classmates were playing pretend and deciding upon the characters they would be embodying.

I, of course, insisted that I would be a knight. The girls had no problem with this - they liked being picked up and carried back and forth across puddles, which was my go-to chivalrous feat of strength whenever we played pretend games like that. More importantly, it meant less competition for the coveted role of princess.

They went back and forth arguing about who should be the princess during the game, each one making a case for why she deserved the gig. Somehow they decided that the princess must be the girl with the longest hair - infallible logic. They ended up deciding that the only fair way to judge hair length was by pulling out a single strand from each of their heads and comparing the length… which piqued the interest of another classmate, a little black girl with coily curls, whose single strand of hair turned out to be at least a third longer than anyone else’s straight hairs when she triumphantly stretched it out. This confused and enraged one of the white would-be princesses, but I had read enough fantasy to know that it was exactly the kind of unexpected hero sword-in-the-stone twist that should determine the One True Princess and the rightful heir to my knightly services.

I don’t remember how the game panned out, but at some point there were several princesses and someone decided to upgrade to queen.

[glumshoe]

[systlin]

Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

i also like that this is a “ask craftspeople” thing, it reminds me of when art historians were all “the fuck” about someone’s ear “deformity” in a portrait and couldn’t work out what the symbolism was until someone who’d also worked as a piercer was like “uhm, he’s fucked up a piercing there”. interdisciplinary shit also needs to include non-academic approaches because crafts & trades people know shit ok

[assasue]

One of my professors often tells us about a time he, as and Egyptian Archaeologist, came down upon a ring of bricks one brick high. In the middle of a house. He and his fellow researchers could not fpr the life of them figure out what tf it could possibly have been for. Until he decided to as a laborer, who doesnt even speak English, what it was. The guy gestures for my prof to follow him, and shows him the same ring of bricks in a nearby modern house. Said ring is filled with baby chicks, while momma hen is out in the yard having a snack. The chicks can’t get over the single brick, but mom can step right over. Over 2000 years and their still corraling chicks with brick circles. If it aint broke, dont fix it and always ask the locals.

[anx1ous-op0ssum]

I read something a while back about how pre-columbian Americans had obsidian blades they stored in the rafters of their houses. The archaeologists who discovered them came to the conclusion that the primitive civilizations believed keeping them closer to the sun would keep the blades sharper.

Then a mother looked at their findings and said “yeah, they stored their knives in the rafters to keep them out of reach of the children.”

[whatevercomestomymind]

Omg the ancient child proofing add on tho lol

[nerdjpg]

What’s with the obsession with calling food or recipes “better than sex”…I tried your pintrest risotto Sharon and frankly I’m wondering if your needs are being met

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[kiwi]

shout out to my incoherent bitches!! shout out to all the babes out there who dont make no fuckin sense!!!

[sunstained]

I’m not a human being, I’m just memory problems, fatigue, and executive dysfunction stacked together in a trenchcoat.

[pr1nceshawn]

People Who Enjoy “Medium Rare Chicken”

[succ-my-pandas-dick]

[nebulous-nebuli]

[juicemold]

I’m thinking about how we say “spill the tea” or just “tea” and how ppl used to say “spill the beans” like what if we just said “beans” when gossiping

[officiallybi-deactivated2022052]

“… and then she told me that he actually wasn’t at her house!”

“oh beans”

[mbrainspaz]

talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”

[mbrainspaz]

he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.” 

wtf dad

[mbrainspaz]

latest edition:  me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine. 

my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while. 

[heywriters]

is your dad an ex-assassin

[amemait]

An ex-assassin who loved his mum. And his pony.

[candida44]

[kibokkkkkko]

wow! what kind of chicken lay that egg

[dongboss]

[iamthebestby2ne1]

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Science!

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

[glumshoe]

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

[gemstone-gynoid]

you mean like

[ontologicalidiot-deactivated201]

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

[sindri42]

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

[solwardenclyffe]

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

[sindri42]

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

[lady-byleth]

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

[saccharinesatchel]

Elves are flat-earthers

[cheattoe]

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

[yourownpetard]

This post really was a rollercoaster.

[odinoco-deactivated20190531]

for elves it was a straight line

[slimetony]

There’s a Burger King rugrats watch in my closet that’s gone off at 2:30 am every night for the past 15 years

[ghostfromzanzibar-deactivated20]

you should get rid of that

[slimetony]

Why it lets me know when it’s 2:30

[ghostfromzanzibar-deactivated20]

why do you need to know when its 2:30 am though

[slimetony]

Most people don’t even know there’s a 2:30am because they’re busy sleeping; I consider myself lucky to be privy to such a secret