Miscellaneous Musings Of A Rambling Geekette @ramblingeekette - Tumblr Blog

#next frisay is his funeral #and they dont know cause of death. everything inside looked healthy as can be #so now they gotta do toxicology and cross sections of his organs under a microscope to see the cells #to see if that will tell us anything #god damn it Kevin #of course youd make it even more difficult to get answers #im so mad at you for up and dying on me like this #this shitnwasnt supposed to happen for at least another 30 years you jackass

The past few months been nothing but curveball of emotional damage with stress and fucking this weekend had to go and top it off with my godson running away for good and my mom finding my brother dead from natural causes in his bedroom when I couldnt shake a bad feeling I had and messaged her to check on him since I was at work and couldnt.

Should've just opened his fucking door Saturday when I thought it smelt weirder than normal. Debated before going to bed, barely slept. Before work Sunday I had same feeling as I stood outside his door. Told myself he was probably just sleeping his hangover off.

Nope.

The cops and whatnot came and I had to go upstairs because mom broke down and I saw him dead in bed.

Only to have the coroner tell us he likely died Friday night based on how he looked.

Shortly after he came down to make food. Mom and Bill said he was breathing weird and was drunk, made a mess of a cheese sandwich he ate before going back upstairs to go to bed. Which was about half hourish before I came home from work.

I had gone to my room to change and had heard him coughing something awful. Which wasnt unusual as he started smoking and vaping heavily as his alcoholic shit got worse.

He was quiet a little bit after that and I thought he had just settled in his sleep. Wasn't him coughing. Not from the estimated time of death based on the examination before they moved him out of the house.

I heard my brother die and didnt know it.

I heard my fucking brother die and didnt even know. Because his stupid hermit ass would hide away in his room one to two days at a time so it wasnt weird to not see him for a few days now and then.

I shouldve just went with my fucking gut feeling and opened the door Saturday when I kept thinking something wasnt right.

But I didnt wanna risk being wrong because he always got pissed if people went in his room or knocked on his door. So like...talked myself out of it even though I stood outside his door twice and thought it was weird I couldnt hear him. Same thing before I left for work Sunday morning. Kept thinking "hes dead. Hes fucking dead. How do I tell mom im damn near certain Kevin died" but couldn't shake the feel so I messaged Mom and she said she hadnt heard him moving around upstairs either. (Our house hella old, you hear everything) and then she called me.

God fucking DAMN IT KEVIN. How dare you die on me. And Mom. We already lost most the family the past 20 years and you go and pull this shit??? Im so fucking mad and upset and Im numb but overwhelmed and I just want him to walk through the door with his stupid laugh and smirk being proud of it all being a shitty prank.

But its not snd I dont know what to fucking do

#personal #do not repost

graceashcroft-archive-deactivat

The KXVO Pumpkin Dance (2006)

isitandwonder

it's September it's halloween

greatcometcas

#except now itd be 62 years ago cuz its been 20 years since this aired #and i am feeling very old now 😅 i was 17 when spn started

hilarioushumorfromouterspace

stat1c-n3bul4

dreamstormdragon

idontknownothin

DID YOU KNOW THAT:

every episode of bill nye the science guy is available to stream and/or download for free from the Internet Archive https://archive.org/details/billnyethescienceguythecompleteseries-07-28-2021

NOW YOU KNOW

tvandfilm

The Nightmare Before Christmas dir. Henry Selick | 1993

egberts

*evil villain voice* it's time to say labyebye to your labubu you big fuckin lababy *woodchipper sounds*

teathattast

norondor

reblogging this to add that I often think about the old man yaoi mangaka on bluesky who said "the phrase that finally convinced me that the English language is truly beautiful was 'this shit is so ass'"